2nd day of CNY! A lot has happened in this new year. A couple of health scares...many impending changes...basically a lot has been happening. I wasn't feeling too good the past few weeks. In fact, I ended up doing an ECG and a blood test at a GP's. Thank God that the blood test came back fairly normal. One of my thyroid count is a little low but no cause of concern. Doc. suggested I head back for another check in one month's time. My mum's telling me to take more iodine as it will help with regulate thyroid levels. Anw, the whole saga started because I've been experiencing chest-tightness, breathlessness and a pounding, rapid heartbeat. No joke. I'm only in my 20s. This is NOT supposed to be happening. I actually suspected that the symptoms may be the prelude to a bout of flu but the flu never came and I finally decided to go see a doc after feeling faint-ish after climbing a short flight of stairs (for those who works @ Raffles Place, it's the Golden Shoe stairway to the 2nd storey). Pathetic stamina, which may be pointing at something more serious. Headed to the doc. Doc. said my heartrate is pretty rapid (approx. 100 beats/min) even at rest. Made me take an ECG (seems normal) and a blood test (which also came back fairly normal). He said these may be caused by anxiety or stress and gave me some anti-anxiety pills (which I later learned are anti-depressants) to calm me down. Seriously, how did my health reach this stage? Anti-anxiety pills? Really?
Anyway, just last Thurs, the flu symptoms occurred. I don't know if the virus was already within me the week before then, when I felt absolutely RUBBISH. Nose started running non-stop, eyes teary and I developed a yellow phlegm and sore throat yesterday. Feeling like crap, I decided I was too germy to go house visiting and had to stay home for CNY. Sounds pretty sad but I needed the rest. I needed the sleep. I feel much better today, thank goodness. The yellow phlegm and mucus is still grossing me out but at least my throat doesn't hurt anymore. I'm sure the phlegm came from my nose (respiratory system all inter-connected) because my throat was 100% ok the night before and I had NO phlegm. After sleeping on my back for one night, all the mucus somehow drained to my throat and I ended up with a painful sore throat. BAH. Weakened immune system, for sure.
The health scares are a good reminder for me to take care of my health. Gonna start exercising this year. :) I want this year to be different. I hope some form of transformation will happen and I know that that will require a lot of determination and perseverance. Discipline. I think one lesson I am still learning is "boundaries". Breaking of personal boundaries when needed but at the same time still keep within the right boundaries. This is in terms of relationships for me. To be a little more involved, a little more concerned, a little more loving; but to also be a little more decisive, a little more determined, a little more confident. Can't quite explain myself but I kinda have a vague idea what kind of growth I envision for myself. Pushing out when necessary but keeping within a protective boundary at the same time. There are different boundaries in life but I've been caging myself out for too long. I long for a new freedom in my life. It's not that the freedom isn't already there but I haven't truly understood it and starting living in it. My mind has been quite caged up and I don't know how to break free? So in 2012, this will be a focus. When the mind's free, the rest will come. Wisdom will come. Peace will come.
Sounds good. :)
