Had wanted to post the previous posting earlier, but hit a big snag.....
Well, somehow (till now still could not pinpoint the culprit, but found a solution... FINALLY!!!) I could get IE and Windows explorer to run. Everytime windows explorer is clicked, it give this error message (which by the way, many a times, is useless for troubleshooting) in the Event log and it took me about 3 hours before finally found something that can help to relief the stressfulness of finding the culprit and solution to the problem, but so far have no idea what has happen.... It works just fine yesterday night!
Anyway, it really makes me wonder if I should start playing around with Linux and see if that is a better system to use. The only forseeable problem - I am getting a bit lazy in trying out new stuff.... I just want to surf my usual "hangouts" and that's it!
Oh well.... time to ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Got a t-con at 9 am, need to run into office earlier to prepare for that !
Friday, August 13, 2004
Fireworks.... (Part Deux)
My alter ego questioned me after yestersday's blog :- If it takes so long (more than 10 years) for you to even let someone close to you know of this incident; Why do you decide to blog it down? Why now?
Frankly, I have no idea. I guess perhaps it's a healing process. If you do not admit to it, there is no way for the wound to start to heal; Take an alcoholic for example, if he/she does not admit that he/she is one, there is no way for the person to start the process of recovering - How would you recover if, to you, it does not exist? Perhaps, it becaused it's healed, and it's not longer something that you want to hide from anyone. It could, well, also be that this can be used as an encouragement to those that might be facing with the same situaton - if I, no different from anyone in the street, could survive such a situation, why not someone else?
I only know is that no matter what happens, there will be times where you might spark some fireworks in someone's life. Giving them some hope, some help to throw some light into their "dim and never ending dark tunnel". So, I guess my answer to that would be "Why not?"
Meantime, here are more of the fireworks that I had taken which I think looks good.
Fireworks - NDP 2004
Frankly, I have no idea. I guess perhaps it's a healing process. If you do not admit to it, there is no way for the wound to start to heal; Take an alcoholic for example, if he/she does not admit that he/she is one, there is no way for the person to start the process of recovering - How would you recover if, to you, it does not exist? Perhaps, it becaused it's healed, and it's not longer something that you want to hide from anyone. It could, well, also be that this can be used as an encouragement to those that might be facing with the same situaton - if I, no different from anyone in the street, could survive such a situation, why not someone else?
I only know is that no matter what happens, there will be times where you might spark some fireworks in someone's life. Giving them some hope, some help to throw some light into their "dim and never ending dark tunnel". So, I guess my answer to that would be "Why not?"
Meantime, here are more of the fireworks that I had taken which I think looks good.
Fireworks - NDP 2004
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Fireworks
Downloaded the fireworks that I had taken on 9 Aug, and was pleasantly surprise to see some pictures that does not seem promising via the LCD review, turns out not too bad when you look at it full size. Of course there are times when it was the other way round - looks promising on the LCD turns out to be not usable when viewing full size. Somehow, to me, it depicts how life is like that - sometimes when the future seems so bright and rosy to you, turns out to be the worst part of your year then. Whereas when all seems dark and hard, it turns out to be the best part of your year.
Perhaps it's also the reason why hope seems to be a unique character of humans. With hope, we would strive and forge our way out of the situation, no matter how it turns. Yet, without hope, we bow our heads and accept what comes to us without any fight. Despondent, we fall into the path where it may leads us - to the horrors of our rational minds - to the possibility of committing suicide (and taking some others with us as well as seen in some newspaper reports). Not realistic? Call me a pessimist, but when everything hits at you all at the same time, it may become something of a possibility that it will seem viable and even looks "good" to you at that point of time. Look at the recent report where a man murdered his children before killing himself, all because of his divorce case where he will lose custody of his children. Does this mean without hope, we are doomed? Perhaps not, as each and everyone of us are different, and how one reacts will depends on their personality, faith, friends and love ones' senstivitity to them, and even, perhaps, a miracle.
Imagine, at that point of time - you felt that every day, every gesture, every thing in your life are meaningless, including the very life you have. With the only thought that runs through your mind - ways and means that you can end of your life; including evaluating which method is foolproof! From jumping from the top of a building (chances are no return, unless there are things in the way to break your fall) to a razor/sharp object cutting your wrist (as long as the main vein/artery is not cut, bleeding can still be easily stopped... I think); it's all in that corner of your brain, with your own twisted thoughts that weigh which way is the surest way to succeed - with the least or most amount of pain depending on how masochistic you are.
And yet, with a silent cry - for help, for the release from such thoughts, despair and hopelessness; God stretch out his hand to you and brings you out of it. Perhaps not in an abrupt manner, but in a slow, but sure, way, mending the brokeness/depair you felt, a little by little. Would you consider this as a miracle? I would, for I was once in that position, and God did carry me, letting me felt His presence, and gently moves me out of the fog of depression/suicideness. Thus, without God, I would have been buried six feet under years ago - something which I had pointed out to some of my closest friends. Ironically, I was not a real believer - had attended Sunday school when I was younger (but had not much memory of those days, never did know why) and left once I was in secondary school.
From there, I had experienced lows and high points in my life - terrible A level results, thus failing to qualify for local university - yet, in the end, have the opportunity to study and experience overseas University lifestyle (which happens to be one of my childhood dreams); getting retrenched during the 1997-8 financial crisis in Asia, and yet, had a nice holiday with my mum before earning some money working as a temp back in the same company for 3 months, then getting a new permanent job; securing a new job in the immediate post-SARS period, where economy downturns occurs; small and yet wonderful miracles which sometimes I reflect in awe of how God works in my life.
Perhaps, in many ways, I have not shown God's holiness in my life, but I do know that I am still, and will be till the day I die, be in God's "Work in Progress" list.
Fireworks - NDP 2004
Perhaps it's also the reason why hope seems to be a unique character of humans. With hope, we would strive and forge our way out of the situation, no matter how it turns. Yet, without hope, we bow our heads and accept what comes to us without any fight. Despondent, we fall into the path where it may leads us - to the horrors of our rational minds - to the possibility of committing suicide (and taking some others with us as well as seen in some newspaper reports). Not realistic? Call me a pessimist, but when everything hits at you all at the same time, it may become something of a possibility that it will seem viable and even looks "good" to you at that point of time. Look at the recent report where a man murdered his children before killing himself, all because of his divorce case where he will lose custody of his children. Does this mean without hope, we are doomed? Perhaps not, as each and everyone of us are different, and how one reacts will depends on their personality, faith, friends and love ones' senstivitity to them, and even, perhaps, a miracle.
Imagine, at that point of time - you felt that every day, every gesture, every thing in your life are meaningless, including the very life you have. With the only thought that runs through your mind - ways and means that you can end of your life; including evaluating which method is foolproof! From jumping from the top of a building (chances are no return, unless there are things in the way to break your fall) to a razor/sharp object cutting your wrist (as long as the main vein/artery is not cut, bleeding can still be easily stopped... I think); it's all in that corner of your brain, with your own twisted thoughts that weigh which way is the surest way to succeed - with the least or most amount of pain depending on how masochistic you are.
And yet, with a silent cry - for help, for the release from such thoughts, despair and hopelessness; God stretch out his hand to you and brings you out of it. Perhaps not in an abrupt manner, but in a slow, but sure, way, mending the brokeness/depair you felt, a little by little. Would you consider this as a miracle? I would, for I was once in that position, and God did carry me, letting me felt His presence, and gently moves me out of the fog of depression/suicideness. Thus, without God, I would have been buried six feet under years ago - something which I had pointed out to some of my closest friends. Ironically, I was not a real believer - had attended Sunday school when I was younger (but had not much memory of those days, never did know why) and left once I was in secondary school.
From there, I had experienced lows and high points in my life - terrible A level results, thus failing to qualify for local university - yet, in the end, have the opportunity to study and experience overseas University lifestyle (which happens to be one of my childhood dreams); getting retrenched during the 1997-8 financial crisis in Asia, and yet, had a nice holiday with my mum before earning some money working as a temp back in the same company for 3 months, then getting a new permanent job; securing a new job in the immediate post-SARS period, where economy downturns occurs; small and yet wonderful miracles which sometimes I reflect in awe of how God works in my life.
Perhaps, in many ways, I have not shown God's holiness in my life, but I do know that I am still, and will be till the day I die, be in God's "Work in Progress" list.
Fireworks - NDP 2004
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