As with most people who surf the net everyday, we have our own set of sites that we would surf religiously. For my case, it's usually the SPUG website to keep update on Palm stuff (or rather up to date with anything that interested the Palm crowd) as well as Clubsnap which is very popular with Singapore's amateur (well, maybe pro as well) photographers and some other minor ones which include soccer news. The usual read will include the new and updated threads in their forums.
The one that I encountered today was this thread that someone was suggesting to create an exclusive area for SPUG singles. From there someone placed a link to an old topic, concerning this letter that was published in the ST Forum page. This was a very old link that had reactions (from SPUGers, well at least those that are registered in the SPUG forum) to that letter in the forum. Interestingly enough... it's again about how government should do something (like giving incentives, *again!*) about the increasing rate of unmarried Singapore women. This, somehow, also ties into the latest buzz about how government is trying to do something to entice married couples to have more children.
Has it comes to a point whereby the government needs to step in every time something, especially in the social but leading toward private life, seems to be lacking? Hasn't all these issues got to do with how people run their lives? Do we need government interference in our daily lives? Has getting married and having children becomes a monetary issue that you could tick off in your tax plan so that you could get to pay less taxes - which is supposedly means more $$$ for you to spend? Of course if there are fewer children born each year, the government would get worried of the aging population triangle, especially in a small island like Singapore.
Perhaps the issue here is not just people's wants, but more of how they have been brought up - especially in such an environment. We have always been told to strive for the best, to be world class - isn't it surprising that we want also the best for our children? If so, isn't it surprising to find that our family circle could get smaller, I mean how much can you afford to make sure your children - all of them - could get the best education/ a head start in the academic area/ some other 'enrichment' arena like music, arts, etc? If you want everything to be the best for your children, isn't a wonder that you can only concentrate on 1 or 2 child at the most?
Of course, there are those that reject such notions, but then that lies the paradox. You said you want the best for your child, and yet you don't need to spend to get the best? How could that be? You know that the best, which will translate to being the popular, and thus will translate to being expensive (simple economics - the more the demand, with little supply, drives up the $$$ - to a certain point). So how could you balance both of them - if you want your child to be up there with the Jones (or rather in local terms, shall we say, the Lees/Ongs/Ngs/etc, .... whatever)? Your child will need music lessons, extra play/learn time sessions with Kinderland or Montessori or whatever that is popular at this moment. They will also most probably have Kumon classes so that they can brush up their language skills in order to be bilingual and to do well in their school. Perhaps to help them to keep up in other subject areas, they will have tuition. Or even lessons in tennis or swimming or even horse riding (well, maybe not this activity, then again you will never know). Oh, not forgetting some basic lessons in computing such that they could be comfortable with computers, which most probably a "feature" in their home.
I shudder when I started to think about the life a child has to live. Thank goodness it's all over for me. I wonder if I would survive if I am at that age now.... What's worst is that I am not certain if I would become like that if (and that's a big if) I do become a parent. To push them in order, in my rationalisation, for them to be able to have some foothold or at least some head start in this country.
But I am jumping the gun again in this... There is also this other area for singles to ponder... Has the environment pushes us to be "unreasonable" in our search for a partner? I mean, looking at the posting of the people in the thread, has it come to past that we are so idealistic that we do not wish to readjust our standpoint? Of course there are those that have a more realistic view, but then again, are they the majority or minority?
Take myself for example. I don't think I am that of an idealist. I mean with only 3 main criteria of 1. God fearing; 2. Caring and 3. Able to accept me for what I am, not what they want me to be.... Is that so difficult?!?!??! Ok, ok, maybe throw in humour as well (Hmmmm... then again humour for one may not be for another.... Hmmmm). But then again, it's not just about what I want isn't it. Just as I have a criteria list, the other person will also have their list. To get the people matching up with their listing, to me, is like a miracle, but I think for them to work towards a marriage and working on the marriage to ensure its survival in this age is a greater miracle.
I have seen marriages that are still surviving and also marriages that crumbles in less than 1 year. Yes, the couples may have gone through counselling, courses, etc, to help them to prepare for marriage life, but ultimately isn't it allows boils down to how much do you want to spend effort/time as well as how much you will want to compromise with each other? I have heard of an advice that marriage is about 80% of giving and 20% of taking which basically means that you would be willing to compromise 80% of the time and 20% of the time where you would insist on your way. It does seem to be very sound or is it not? Would this mean that 60% of the time there will be no resolution? Ok, I jest - I don't think most people could stand it if you do not have resolution for 60% of the time... I mean, you have to know what you want for dinner right? To cook or not to cook, to buy or not to buy, etc.
Oh well... whatever, I am still mulddering through this. There are so many theories and advice out there that it just too overwhelming... Meantime... Anyone has any idea what I am getting at??? Must be the timing of this... Ok... time to sleep, and rest, and... You know.
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
*Another few of those funny quizzes*
| How to make a Visible, Invisible |
| Ingredients:
5 parts pride 1 part ambition 1 part leadership |
| Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of fitness |
Hmm.... Pride, Ambition and Leadership.... Very Interesting they got here.... Add a dash of fitness as well. I guess without fitness, with all those ingredients, it will not go far.... Heh. Wow, 5 parts of pride - Is pride really that much a part of me? While I might be proud of what I have accomplished in my life, I seriously doubt there is anymore pride in me than anyone else. Compared to most of my peers, I have nothing much to show - other than I have survived in this rat race of today. I am not highly paid, not in management position (as some of my peers are), nothing to show acomplishment in the arts or sports arena. Nothing! So how prideful can that be? Maybe I am proud of the fact I have non of those?!?! But then, what's there to be proud of anyway - proud of accomplish nothing!??!
Ambition. Well, yes I can be ambitious, but I think the last retrenchment has shown me otherwise, what's the use of being ambitious when you can be retrenched anytime when the company is not doing well? Maybe, it's because I'm between projects, they can "spare" the person... I don't know, but I was retrenched, and that puts the amibition bit to bed. I know I am not someone with much business sense to survive having my own business, so no point of pushing in that direction. I tend to do better as a troubleshooter than anything else.
We come to the last point - Leadership. What is leadership? Until now, I have no idea on what leadership really means. Does it mean that if you are a leader; you direct, people follow? Or is it that you are to coach and guide people such that they can be better in what they are doing? I don't know, only thing is that I have no idea what they mean for the last ingredient, especially for a person that does not like the limelight! Why do you think this name of "Visible, Invisible" is used anyway? Yes I am visible to the world, but yet I prefer to be invisible, well, at least not in the frontline anyway. Don't think I would make it in politics with this.... Heh. Not that I am thinking about it...
| Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan! |
 You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind! |
Ahahahaha... This is funny... I love chocolate and hate strawberry... But yes, I love variety, maybe they should use another mix of flavours (but leave the chocolate in there)!!!!
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Being Single (and Available)
Is it just me or somehow singles tend to be very sensitive about this topic? Especially after years of "interrogation" from relatives and friends in occasions, which include CNY and weddings. Or by now I should be "dead" to such feelings? Is life (after getting your education) really about :-
Step 1 - Find a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Step 2 - Get married.
Step 3 - Have your first kid.
Step 4 - Have more kids.
Step 1 - Find a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Step 2 - Get married.
Step 3 - Have your first kid.
Step 4 - Have more kids.
If you stumble on Step 1... They would assume that you have "high" standards, so they will advise you not to have so "high" of a standard. Then a few years later, with the same question again, this time... your mother steps in and ask them if they got anyone to introduce.... Guess what, they bursh that off by saying that they don't have friends/acquaintances that's my age! So why should they start asking about all these? Of course, they meant well, but, hey don't bang on it every time we get to meet! Is there no other topics to talk about except this??? If it is, please don't talk - I rather not to to talk then to rehash the old grounds again.
It seems that there is this pattern that you are supposed to follow - when you are young, you study. Make sure you get good grades, get into college (well, in Singapore context, that would be university) and graduate from there. Then you find a partner, get married and have kids. Worry about kids till they grow up (they are expected to grow in a similar pattern as you did, of course with the generation changes, like we used to play "zero-point" when we are young, now they are playing computer games). Retired and supposedly live the "golden years" fulfilled. How many people who subscribe to it actually achieving it??
Perhaps, if we are single and we grow old, there is a higher chance of not having someone to take care of you or having someone to take care of each other, but with the divorce rates rising in an alarming rate and increasingly children are sending their parents to homes just because they feel that they don't have time to take care of them or the parents don't fit into their lifestyle. Where is that guarantee that with being married and with kids you will not be alone when you are old? People die, kids may "grow wings and fly".
Oh well... Maybe I am just being cynical (which I tend to be) and there are singles that are not fazed by these questions... I don't know when I may become less fazed by these questions, but I do know these questions will not end just here... There will be others with the same questions, and hopefully, by then, I can be "death" to those irking feelings that I felt.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
An Alternative View
Ok, after much sleep (and waking up late)... Here's something that went thru my head on my way to church (which usually means God is trying to get me to listen...) :-
(In trying to write it out after 20 mins, I give up. Kind of difficult to explain in words) Gist of it is that I should not put myself in situations where I can no longer be blameless. Furthermore, by harping and allowing the indignant I felt to have a stephold in my heart, I have actually sinned. Thus making myself out of sync with God - which could explain the restlessness in me.
I guess "Everything is meaningless" hits it hard, at the end of the day, it's meaningless to go harping on something with someone who hangs "I am driving this way to piss you off" in their car. It does not do you good, in fact it might harms your sense of balance and also robbing your joy in a new day. Well, time to go pick up the rest of the day.
Sigh... looks like it's another those looks rainy but yet not raining days.....
P.S. I guess I am also, and always (till I die), in construction works under God's direction... How much He can, I supposed depends on how I would response... Hmmmm... Time to ponder on that...
(In trying to write it out after 20 mins, I give up. Kind of difficult to explain in words) Gist of it is that I should not put myself in situations where I can no longer be blameless. Furthermore, by harping and allowing the indignant I felt to have a stephold in my heart, I have actually sinned. Thus making myself out of sync with God - which could explain the restlessness in me.
I guess "Everything is meaningless" hits it hard, at the end of the day, it's meaningless to go harping on something with someone who hangs "I am driving this way to piss you off" in their car. It does not do you good, in fact it might harms your sense of balance and also robbing your joy in a new day. Well, time to go pick up the rest of the day.
Sigh... looks like it's another those looks rainy but yet not raining days.....
P.S. I guess I am also, and always (till I die), in construction works under God's direction... How much He can, I supposed depends on how I would response... Hmmmm... Time to ponder on that...
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Not a good day! (Note: *Ranting*)
Sigh... I don't proclaim myself to be a saint, heck, who can be one anyway. But this really hit my deck... I have been claim to have a bad attitude, just because I refused to give way in a yellow box while waiting to get into the car park.
To start off, let's talk about the place... This happens in the small lane leading to a shopping mall car park. There are 2 methods to enter the small lane - via a small lane from the main road (which leads to the yellowbox junction), or the usual "longer" route of turning left into another road before it leads to the main entrance (and only exit) of the small lane. When it first started, the yellowbox junction does not exist, and that small lane from the main road does not exist as well. Somehow someone must have complaint about not being able to enter and have to go a big roundabout before able to enter if they miss the turning, that the authorities decided to have that entry from the main road (and adding the yellowbox junction), thus making it like a T-junction.
Now if you have been that small lane during Saturdays, you will noticed that at times, there will be long queues waiting to go into the car park. Sometimes, it could take up the entire lane. The reason for the queue is that the shopping mall is one of the few, if not only, car park in the heart of town that starts "per entry" basis after 1 pm - the rest starts from 5 pm. Which means if you are shopping the entire afternoon in that area, you could save $$$ in terms of car park fees. Naturally, it's full every Saturday after 1pm till about 5pm.
So today, in my rare venture into the town, we (my aunt and my mum) decided to park in that car park. We were in the queue for about 30 mins before we reached the yellowbox junction. As with the cars in front (and behind), the yellowbox junction was ignored (Heck, why the yellowbox is there we have no idea! Seems to encourage people to cut the queue as seen in this incident). As we waited, here came the car from the main road, moving towards the yellowbox junction and tries to cut into the queue (Despite seeing a number of cars queue behind my car). Naturally, I refused to give way - why should I? Just because it's a yellow junction you have the right to cut-in? An additional car can add to at least 10 mins of additional waiting as well as not being fair to the other cars that have been waiting behind. Because of that, my car got photographed, and I got screamed at for not giving way, and of course was told that I got a bad attitude.
I wonder... What's his attitude then? Does this means that it's ok to cut in front of others in a queue? So if the reverse happens, will he be willing to wait in the queue? And what happens if at the point of time, every time just before he got a chance to move, another car comes along and cut in the way he did, will he still gives way?
I know I'm being bad, but I hope that he will be caught in that situation, and let see how "good" attitude he has! (Of course, with me witnessing it!)
It dawn to me that we have come to this situation where, it's a "Me" and "I" syndrome, which perhaps needs some pondering over:
- I have the right of way, so I don't care if you had waited minutes/hours to get there, I am going to cut in.
- I am your customer, I have the right to tell you what I want and how I want, who cares if there are tons of people around me also waiting to be served?
Oh... By the way, he still managed to cut in... Of course when he drive so damn close to my car, forcing me to stop and let him pass... Well, I hope he is happy that he cut off at least 5 cars waiting before he came! Maybe it makes his day just by doing that! I am sure I am not the only one swearing at him when he did that...
Heck, I may be, in traffic terms, be in the wrong. But boy, telling me that I had an attitude when he cuts in front of everyone else! That like a pot calling the kettle black!
Ok.. Now that I have ranted, it time to let it go... (Can pick it from here anytime!
) I might get heart attack/high blood pressure soon if I don't.
To start off, let's talk about the place... This happens in the small lane leading to a shopping mall car park. There are 2 methods to enter the small lane - via a small lane from the main road (which leads to the yellowbox junction), or the usual "longer" route of turning left into another road before it leads to the main entrance (and only exit) of the small lane. When it first started, the yellowbox junction does not exist, and that small lane from the main road does not exist as well. Somehow someone must have complaint about not being able to enter and have to go a big roundabout before able to enter if they miss the turning, that the authorities decided to have that entry from the main road (and adding the yellowbox junction), thus making it like a T-junction.
Now if you have been that small lane during Saturdays, you will noticed that at times, there will be long queues waiting to go into the car park. Sometimes, it could take up the entire lane. The reason for the queue is that the shopping mall is one of the few, if not only, car park in the heart of town that starts "per entry" basis after 1 pm - the rest starts from 5 pm. Which means if you are shopping the entire afternoon in that area, you could save $$$ in terms of car park fees. Naturally, it's full every Saturday after 1pm till about 5pm.
So today, in my rare venture into the town, we (my aunt and my mum) decided to park in that car park. We were in the queue for about 30 mins before we reached the yellowbox junction. As with the cars in front (and behind), the yellowbox junction was ignored (Heck, why the yellowbox is there we have no idea! Seems to encourage people to cut the queue as seen in this incident). As we waited, here came the car from the main road, moving towards the yellowbox junction and tries to cut into the queue (Despite seeing a number of cars queue behind my car). Naturally, I refused to give way - why should I? Just because it's a yellow junction you have the right to cut-in? An additional car can add to at least 10 mins of additional waiting as well as not being fair to the other cars that have been waiting behind. Because of that, my car got photographed, and I got screamed at for not giving way, and of course was told that I got a bad attitude.
I wonder... What's his attitude then? Does this means that it's ok to cut in front of others in a queue? So if the reverse happens, will he be willing to wait in the queue? And what happens if at the point of time, every time just before he got a chance to move, another car comes along and cut in the way he did, will he still gives way?
I know I'm being bad, but I hope that he will be caught in that situation, and let see how "good" attitude he has! (Of course, with me witnessing it!)
It dawn to me that we have come to this situation where, it's a "Me" and "I" syndrome, which perhaps needs some pondering over:
- I have the right of way, so I don't care if you had waited minutes/hours to get there, I am going to cut in.
- I am your customer, I have the right to tell you what I want and how I want, who cares if there are tons of people around me also waiting to be served?
Oh... By the way, he still managed to cut in... Of course when he drive so damn close to my car, forcing me to stop and let him pass... Well, I hope he is happy that he cut off at least 5 cars waiting before he came! Maybe it makes his day just by doing that! I am sure I am not the only one swearing at him when he did that...
Heck, I may be, in traffic terms, be in the wrong. But boy, telling me that I had an attitude when he cuts in front of everyone else! That like a pot calling the kettle black!
Ok.. Now that I have ranted, it time to let it go... (Can pick it from here anytime!
) I might get heart attack/high blood pressure soon if I don't.
My 1st posting.... Reason for this blog??? (Maybe)
Lovely... I have just taken a step into having a blog... Have thot of it previously, but maybe I was a little too lazy to start it, as well as not knowing what to do... Of course, now that my friends have started theirs, I thot might as well... They could read of what has happen or even what's been in my mind, since they are definitely not a mind-reader! :P
You know, it's not that easy to get started... Trying to understand how this works takes some time... Of course the basic stuff is easily picked up, without manual, but I have to say, I am stumped... Guess I got to start reading FAQs and Knowledge Base for this... See even if you are an IT-savy person, you still can be stumped (if you don't RTFM)! Take heart!
Time to start.....
You know, it's not that easy to get started... Trying to understand how this works takes some time... Of course the basic stuff is easily picked up, without manual, but I have to say, I am stumped... Guess I got to start reading FAQs and Knowledge Base for this... See even if you are an IT-savy person, you still can be stumped (if you don't RTFM)! Take heart!
Time to start.....
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