The end of an era.

Over two grande toffee nut lattes at Starbucks yesterday, the Pig and I went into a deep discussion on whether 2008 was a 'good' year for us. The verdict was that... 2008 wasn't close to being a 'best year ever' type of year, like 2007 was, because deep in our hearts we knew that the best years of our lives were spent in Melbourne, and no amount of time spent in Singapore will ever compare with that experience.

Nonetheless, every year that goes by is special in its own way for me. I remember 2007 fondly, as the best year in my life so far. It was a year of solid friendships, doing Honours, an almost-relationship, my first voice acting challenge; of graduating and saying goodbye to Melbourne, of moving back home to Singapore, of the arduous job-hunt. And while there were no life-changing events in 2008 per se, but a couple of highlights include:

1) Stepping out into the workforce, which was something I'd never done before, duh! :) These 12 months have been nothing short of wonderful - lovely boss, flexible working hours, cheap canteen food (muahahhahaa), relatively non-stressful work to cope with. I admit that I do not truly enjoy or appreciate the subject content I deal with, but I do like research and writing, and I have no complaints. No such thing as "best of both worlds" after all, right?

2) My family, and in particular my mother. I was initially apprehensive about living with her again after being away for five years. Will we fight often? Argue? Scream at each other? Generation gap issues? I am thankful and blessed that the journey with my mum has been smooth-sailing, apart from the occasional speed-bump along the way. But I see it as 'normal' and an essential part of getting to re-know each other, hah! I am generally happy with the effort I made in spending as much time with her as possible, and while we've always been close, I feel like I got to understand her much better this year... with countless random chats in the car, gossip over dinner, over lunch, and mostly just in front of the TV. :P

3) My friends. What will I ever do without them, as an only child? My being back in Singapore for the whole of 2008 has allowed me to strengthen the ties with the people I care about, the people I'd left behind when I moved to Australia. I have never been happier, being able to see these people on a regular basis, as and when I missed them, and not just slotting them into my tight schedule when I am back here on holiday. Of course there are also the ones I left behind in Melbourne when I left... I am glad we are still in touch (at least in touch with the ones who matter) and we've made effort to keep our noses stuck in each others' lives even though we live in different continents now. You guys know who you are. :)

4) My three-months of being a Mandarin radio DJ with Ah Mao. Nothing to boast or brag about, I was paid lesser than a construction worker and I knew I had close to no listeners (because I worked on Sunday mornings for a crappy old non-mainstream radio station). But I can't say I didn't gain anything from the stint on air. It was a short time, but I know I improved a hell lot on my sight reading and news-reporting skills, learned how to operate technical equipment (thank you dear Ah Mao for putting up with my 'slowness' at this, hahaha), and the ability to respond quickly to the unexpected situations that came with being on a 'live' program. There was also the freedom to play the songs we both adored, and who can forget the weekly ripping of new CDs into our laptops for free music?!? Leaving the radio station was a huge load off our shoulders, ultimately, but I'm sure we will both miss the routine Saturday night whining, preparing for news reporting, being on air for five hours straight, and most of all... the bread/beehoon/chwee kueh we had for breakfast in those three months...

5) Gym and fitness. For the first time since I got myself a gym membership in 2005, I actually felt like I belonged there. I developed a sort-of group fitness routine and met a couple of lovely, like-minded people who love the Les Mills programs (and the instructors!!!!) as much as I do. :) I lost weight and developed muscle tone with BA, BP and BS, hurrah! I don't think I've been or felt healthier in my life. Sure, there is definitely room for improvement in terms of general fitness and stamina, but I have a feeling I'm on the right track. For someone who used to abhor exercising, this is truly an amazing feat. Moving on to more fitness challenges in 2009. :)

6) My three-week Melbourne holiday. Sigh, need I say more? It felt as if I'd never left...

7) Keyboard auditions and my little singing group. Sometime in the middle of the year I decided that I was going to 'do something different' (as usual -_-) and audition as a keyboardist at a music cafe I *used to* love and enjoy going to. To cut a long story short, I did not make it to the end, but I gained some new friends and I've been roped in to form a singing group, for which I play the keyboard. We have had two outdoor shows so far, which sucked to the core in my opinion, but I look forward to improving ourselves in 2009. Keep your ears peeled and stay tuned you guys! :p

8) My ear piercings. You guys are going to laugh your heads off at this one, but I've always been terrified of getting my ears pierced... until July this year, when the Pig and Viv urged me to get it over and done with. An achievement for someone who supposedly has a low threshold for pain! :P

8) "Sex And The City", the six-season series. Yes, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you, SATC was one of the highlights of my year, even though it was just an American TV show about four women and their lives in New York city. Six seasons of SATC goodness taught me real lessons in life, in love, in friendships; I identified with each of the girls in different ways, and as strange as this may seem, it provided the perfect emotional therapy I needed when I was going through that rough patch a couple of months ago. So thank you Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha... for being with me throughout these three months. You girls are the best. :)

9) Finally meeting a guy with the 'wow' factor after 11 months of ZERO eye-candy - God bless my eyes!! Umm... not typically my type, which seriously confuses me, but he is an intriguing one nonetheless... I foresee this interest going nowhere (and what's new???) but I guess I should be thankful for uh... our 'two times a week'? :)

So there we have it, a grand total of ten highlights and memories to cherish. Who said 2008 will not be a year to remember and look back fondly on (save for a few dark cloud moments)? I'm proud of what I have done and achieved this year, particularly with regards to personal and character development. I stand at the very end of 2008 with nothing but optimism and hope for the next 12 months that await me.

Also, six years of blogging on this space has made me decide that I need and want a fresh start. 'Virtuosity' has been an absolute bomb over these years, but I think I've outgrown it somewhat, and I wish to continue writing in a different place (not to worry, VIP readers will be automatically informed of the new link).

Happy New Year, everyone... and I will see you guys at my new blog. :)

"Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships - there are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all, is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love... well, that's just fabulous."

- Carrie Bradshaw, Sex And The City Season 6 Episode 20

Dancing with you in the summer rain.

On my birthday this year, I blogged about my three wishes, and the second one went like this:

2) I am looking forward to meeting someone extraordinary who will make an impression, and hopefully, a footprint in my life. I don't mean a future boyfriend or husband, just... someone who can make me go, 'wow'. (I've met at least one person like that every year, even without wishing for it, but this year I want to actually wish for it to happen ;p)

As the months went by, I got to the brink of giving up and was resigned to the fact that I was NOT going to meet this person within 2008. But as luck would have it, I have found him... right here in sunny Singapore, just in the nick of time. :)

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go.

Lifehouse - Blind.

Continuing the annual Christmas tradition.

... with my favourite Christmas classic, of course!

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said
Many times many ways
Merry Christmas, to you.

I guess I can say I had a happy Christmas Eve. I finished Season 6 of SATC (i.e. the entire series) early in the afternoon with a sense of emptiness in my heart, because I'd grown to be super tight with the four girls and now that everything is over I do not know what to do. Oh the horror. T_T Ah, but of course there is still the SATC movie to re-watch, since I first watched it BEFORE I started on the series (and that was a dumb thing to do).

Then I spent the rest of the day with a dear old friend, doing the simple things we normally do - coffee chat part 1, nice indie movie, walking in the rain, chicken rice dinner, chocolate shopping, and coffee chat part 2 at Starbucks AGAIN.

So who the hell needs to be attached to be happy on Christmas?!?! BAH!!!!! :p

Merry Christmas my friends! :)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Things are running rather slowly at work these days, with my boss in Malaysia (hurrah!) and most of my "colleagues" on leave or just... simply not coming in to work (yes, at my place it is possible). Level 6 is quieter than usual, which adversely affects my mood to work efficiently. :p

So, instead of packing my bags to leave, I decide to blog at 6.06pm on a Monday evening. o_O

Just a random thought before I leave the office:

I am, for the umpteenth time, contemplating lasik surgery... all thanks to the Pig, my very rare speccie-buddy, who left me behind and went ahead with getting a new pair of eyes (boooooo). But I have been wearing glasses for the past 17 years and I've completely grown into the whole '4-eyes look', despite its many disadvantages and inconveniences. I think I might actually be depressed without my beloved speccies!!!!!!! My mother says I could just wear fake glasses as an accessory, but will I really?!?! o_O

Ok, off to dinner. :)

Theory of Relativity?

Oh, there we go again. Yet another fatty issue.

Last evening I was out shopping with a new male friend, D, whom I got to properly know just last month, and there came a point where we were debating about whether we should go for an evening indulgence of ice cream/dessert. As we were on the escalator, and out of nowhere, he gave me this... look, and said something along the lines of “你有一点点小胖”, meaning that he didn't know if having ice cream was a good idea because I am, to quote his words, "a little fat", and it caused me to experience a momentary brain freeze. The "errrr... ooookaaaay you caught me off guard now what should I say??" kind. o_O

Now don't get me wrong just yet. Unlike other "new friends", D and I never went through the whole "civility and politeness" stage with each other. Perhaps it was due to both our outgoing personalities and similar age, our friendship took off rather quickly and we found ourselves frequently engaging in good-humoured playful banter. Therefore I knew he didn't mean those words in a harmful, hurting way... but I also paused to consider - in the first place he must think that I am "fat" to even pass such a comment, no? I mean, just to raise an example, I'm certain he wouldn't ever label Angelina Jolie/Julia Roberts/Natalie Portman as FAT, so yeah... you get the idea.

I have no hard feelings towards D - in fact, I responded in my usual self-depreciating humour to keep the show going, so to speak. But general opinions about my weight and size have always been a sensitive (and RECURRING!!!) issue for me, especially since I moved back to Singa-skinny-pore, and I couldn't help but brood and ponder about it all over again... after D's random and seemingly harmless comment. And each time my self-esteem suffers a blow with every FAT remark I receive, I consider the possibility of losing a good amount of weight to show that I *can* be slimmer if I wanted to, but then again I also wonder why should I have to lose weight to prove myself to the rest of this shallow superficial world???

I know for a fact that I am far from perfect; there are many parts of me that can afford some major weight loss, but seriously, to what extent is it ALL about "small = beautiful" these days?

... oh well. As much as how bleak things in the relationships department are looking at the moment, I believe that someday, one very sunshiny day, I will meet and find the guy who will assess me based on the person that I am, and not the way I look, and most definitely not the evil two-digit number on my weighing machine.

You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose, you learn
You bleed, you learn
You scream, you learn.

Alanis Morissette - You Learn.

What if I leave.

"Mind the gap!"

I have been bitten by the book bug. I've managed to complete "Where Rainbows End" and "The Alchemist" in just three months (ha ha -_-). I know of people who can finish a book in a day, but considering how slow a reader I usually am, two books in three months (amidst work and happening social life, mind you!) is a very mentionable feat. :p

And now, moving on to Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere", a love gift from Jorageous with a personally-addressed autograph from Mr. Gaiman himself (!!!). I just finished the prologue a couple of hours ago, and things look promising. I am grateful for bookworm friends who recommend the best of the lot to the uninformed reader in me. :)

Other titles I intend to conquer next include:

"Twilight" - Stephanie Meyer
"New Moon" - Stephanie Meyer
"Eclipse" - Stephanie Meyer
"Breaking Dawn" - Stephanie Meyer (does anyone sense a pattern here? ;p)
"Eleven Minutes" - Paulo Coelho
"South Of The Border, West Of The Sun" - Murakami Haruki
"The Time Traveler's Wife" - Audrey Niffenegger

... And I also have 1001 movies, DVDs, and TV dramas to watch. Oh well.

Oh why don't you call
When you say you will my dear
Is it because I don't belong to you
Anymore

And why don't you come
When you say you will my dear
Do you really think it will work out wrong?

Rachael Yamagata - What If I Leave.

Zsa-zsa-zsu.

"Yeah, well... we hadn't sufficiently hurt each other enough the first time round, but we definitely took care of business this time because he moved in. So we had the merging of things, the dividing of things, and the things that are left behind that you don't want to give back because that's mean. And you don't wanna throw them away, because it's all you have left. And it just gets harder as we get older - we're not dating wildly inappropriate people anymore, you know. There's no "phew, glad that's over." And after every break-up, I tell myself I'm never doing this again. It's too hard. I mean, how many of these things can one person survive? You know what, they should institute a helmet law for relationships." - Carrie Bradshaw, on breaking up twice with Aidan

Carrie, oh Carrie. They write the most amazing things for you to say on SATC.

Someone has a day off work today, and guess what that someone has been doing. :)