新年快乐

Jac wishes one and all a very Happy Chinese New Year!
新年快乐！祝大家身体健康， 天天快乐！

CNY 2007 has been an insightful one this year. Reflections on the meaning of the family unit was much resting on me. There were times I found myself sitting just silently, in the midst of the visiting crowd, just feeding on the train of reflections. Well, it is the 猪年 this time round, which means the year for those born in 1983!!! *OINKOINK* Apart from being cautious with pigging out on CNY goodies and sweeties, lest I fall sick again, it was fruitful to gather with my grandmother, uncles, aunties, cousins and... to play with my NIECE and NEPHEW, though everything may come across merely like an annual affair. Perhaps I have learnt to be more 懂事 as I move along the different stages of growing up =P I saw things slightly differently this year, or perhaps, gained much clarity. Grandmothers deserve a standing ovation for their love displayed in the lives of their children, grandchildren and now, great-grandchildren. It really depends if we choose to be sensitive enough to feel, to observe and to experience their loving kindness even in the smallest actions. As Uncles and Aunties came together, amongst the many stories exchanged were those on nurturing youngadult children, moving on from taking care of babies and young teens. It was evident that all parents desire the best for their children, and that demostrated to me what love is. Topics that sparked during interaction with cousins had evolved over the years. Now I hear newer topics on national service (jac giggles), marriagehood and raising kids, and worklife.

Dwelling deeper, I totally enjoyed myself playing w my 7-year old niece Shannon, whom I get to see only once a year. And I thought to myself how I wld treat and handle my kids in future, if I was gg to have any =P Anyone wans to be God-papa or God-mama? Well, more than just playing with Shannon, I was much drawn towards what my cousin (Shannon's mommie) was sharing abt raising a family. That really reinforced an article I chanced upon not too long before CNY. The article raised the concerns that today, people are more often found saying "I want to and would love to get married" and, missing out on thinking beyond that. How many would be heard saying "I would love to be a wife"? The article was addressing females more specifically, but I reckon it cld also apply to our male counterparts (jac nudges the guys). Perhaps it is also time we let our thoughts dive deeper into the topic of marriage/family, to ponder on what entails the responsibilities of the husband and wife, who represent a family unit. To me, starting a family is no easy task. And I think about Max and myself, and where exactly we are now? Have we really grown in our character and maturity? Are we investing sufficient time and effort in loving each other families too? I'm trying my best, though finding it tough, really. I wish I have more than 24 hours a day! But that shd not serve as an excuse to run, nor hide. What we really need is, the Lord. He who lives in us teach us how to live and how to love those ard us, our families, our friends, and whoever cross our paths =) It is my desire to see our lives grow in fulfilling our stewardship, and see the Lord's name glorified.

Thank God for the timely reminder on the meaning of the family unit is love. Simple yet profound. What constitute love? I'd leave that open-ended, for you and for me to ponder and think through. It is sth that perhaps you know, I know, we all know. Really honestly, I shd be doing really more, especially for my folks and grandmothers =)

Shannon and Me

Till then, have a good week ahead! :)
`jac

p/s Just in case symbols appear on your screen, it cld be because of the chinese fonts I have used =P Pardon me if there were wrong chinese characters. (sheepish grin)

a sick jac

Hi frens,

I spent the weekends nursing a fever, sorethroat and a nose that keeps running =( And I thought w much self-medication and rest, I wld be well for work on Monday. I took lotsa rest, to the extent that I felt like I was really 'wasting' my weekends away, being not much productive afterall. Unfortunately, the situation got worst on Sunday evening.

I went to the doc this morning, and he gave me packs of tablets + 2 days of MC, fm Mon - Tue. I shd be happy =P But the MC kinda came at the 'wrong time'. I shd not be missing any day at work dis week, as I scheduled tasks to complete, and preparations for a meeting this coming Fri. It doesn't help that I didn't load impt docs into my thumbdrive before I left office last Fri. Now, though I am physically at home, I feel like I am mentally at work. And plus, I am oso unable to meet Nat tonite to celebrate her bday =(

I find it so easy now to fall into self-blame. Why do I fall prey to virus so easily ever since I started working? Yah perhaps I shd really swim more frequently, to build up my resistance again. Sighs... U can say that I am feeling pretty frustrated with myself now =(((

Sleepyhead jac has slept so much over the past 3 days, and she reckons if she shd go and clock in more zz hours on a monday afternoon.... She doubts she can beat the drowsy bug that was activated by the flu tablet, and she craves for realllllyyy sweet food to overcome the lost-of-taste after popping down heavy dose of medications.... Sick jac simply prays hard that she will be well once again :)


*jacpouts

So not easy

Hi frens... :)

I feel really, really ..... sian now. I have been putting off this entry for awhile, as I was deliberating if I should talk abt it.

Imagine one day, u were to lift up the carpet at home, and to your horror, you see thick chunks of grayish substance, formed overtime with layers of dust. You would obviously know that your maid (imagine you have one) has been lying to you that she has swept the floor. But the truth is that, she has not. She has not been responsible and faithful in the work that she has been allocated to do. Will somebody agree with me?

Yes, each one of us lead our own unique lives and we have different cares to take care of. When 1 difficult moment surface, and then another 1, and then another 1, and then with a snowball effect, I find the easiest way OUT, is to just hide ALL OF THEM underneath the carpet and then, simply walk away. So would I be doing that? Honestly, such a choice is highly tempting. It offers that almost-instant sense of liberation. But this sort of liberation, is unlikely to sustain. And it is pseudo.

I am not opting for pseudo-liberation. Notice 'am' indicates present tense, meaning that I would want it to be an ongoing choice, one that never ceases to change. But yet again, it is so not easy. Sometimes I lose confidence. Precisely so, I fear I might just lose it all, all too suddenly, and risk simply escaping for a choice that I would have never wanted for.

It is so not easy to be brave and bold to face up with the different cares of life. A matter of fact is likely that nobody would be issue-free at any pt of their life. But remember, no matter how tired we may be, let's never get weary. There is a difference =)


Till then, have a gd weekend!
`jac
- goodnight... sleeping time... zzz...