disconnected

"Hey boy! Do you talk my language? Quack!"

Hey there...

Reckon by now, the general public (which include you friends!) should be aware (hopefully) that SMU had moved to the city campus since last august. I love my new school compound and I am very glad to have tat privelege to spend my final year there. Of all the reasons, this is my fave - the relatively shorter travelling time as compared the old campus at Bukit Timah. Yet, there is still one thing that I'd label it a glitch (jac the perfectionist?). This one thing, is...

We do have an underground walkway that links all the faculty buildings and library together, and it is called the concourse. Sadly, there isn't reception throughout this concourse. That means, your mobile phone is literally useless be it taking a lazy walk or racing for classes along that stretch. Sometimes, one can be lucky to find that teeny weeny one or two bars of reception on the hp screen. Sometimes one may try shaking the hp in the air, or searching for a random spot along tat long stretch (sounds really silly), just to test for reception. Kopitiam canteen is right smack in the concourse. So are the bookstores, 7-11 quick stop and watsons. It gets highly frustrating to be disconnected. No reception. And you can't quite contact somebody (and vice versa), when you urgently need to. That feeling of disconnection isn't that all a tad of good feeling, though some may argue it's a perfect excuse to miss non-impt calls. Oh well.

I am not sure if I am driving the pt that I would like to make.
I am disconnected. one or two bars of reception is just too weak. Before I know it, I get disconnected. I am increasingly tired and jaded of searching for the reception spot, albeit a desperate seek. When this desperation dies out, I probably know that I've given up. And I am praying that would never be the case.


`jac
- still seeking

it's that same old...

familiarity.
it's that same old scent
that i once came across
my senses confirms it so

familiarity.
it's that same old scent
taking me back to restropect
revives all nonchalence

familiarity.
it's that same old scent
i'm longing for it once again
don't want to depart from it

familiarity.
it's that same old scent
it's regaining strength
how long more to go
before i find a retrace


`jac

- retire with familiarity

holding back

I'm in school now. And it's a rarity that I would log in an entry whilst having my physical presence here. to be specific im in e library now, and i jus had lunch at cafe galilee. i dunno where i can go now, what to do now, who to speak to now... but all i know is - I am on the verge of breaking down. I am holding back my tears now. very hard. and i don't want to shed them, not here, not over sth that perhaps is deemed unworthy. Holding back, holding back... how come that's all i can do? how come? how come? how come? why why why?

It is jus that thin line (of air) that seperates me and the mask that I am wearing. I wanna tear it apart now, and reveal who I really am. So that's what I am gonna do NOW. On this blog, on this virtual-scape - I am gg to destroy it, to communicate and express my utter distress. My level of patience is seriously dangerously low. I want to snap. I want to be the jac that people haven't seen before, the jac that people would be left shocked in disbelief.

I want I want...
That's all I want...

* jac
- a very upset girl

Her name is Jac

My friends

Hi there!

I was indeed thinking what my next entry should be. *shrugs* How I wish I can write abt someting interesting, something happening, something intriguing - that had taken place in my life. It isn't that difficult to call for sucha premise - "jac's such a boring person".

I would like to give credit to Matt for the graphic above (Do click on his link and check out his great works!). I chanced upon his pic while I was surfing thru my hard-disk (hurhur). And it simply sums up the kinda life that I have right now.

Let's see... (I nearly type "let's analyze"... *urgh*)
1. my crumpler bag: it contains everything. it better not give way. it better not crash, like any other CPU
2. my iPod mini: good ear-food
3. my nokia time-to-upgrade HP: ctr+talk. my shortcut way of keeping in contact w fellow homo sapiens
4. my wallet: financial providence
5. my pens: for some dooling, some scribbling, some act to show the Prof that "hey my students are paying attention!" =p
6. my organizer (missing-from-above): you'll see who I am currently BUSY dating now. Mr Project, Mr Assigment, Mr Quiz, Mr Presentation... and many more. =X Scandalous?
7. my BIBLE: my restoration, my nourishment, my direction.

All in all, they aren't that light to shoulder upon.
All in all, they are the expectations from multiple angles that seem to draw a unique shape - my life.

Have I done wrong?
Have I not done enough?
Be patient with me, 'cause I have been trying my very best.


`jac
- continue to give my best :)

Find x

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