Tuesday, September 25, 2007
A Reflection
Men can be such jerks.
It's no wonder that I’m friends with so few.
Great men are hard to find nowadays, I don't prefer men as partners however; it's still difficult to find them as friends. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for women to hook up with these rare find.
I met a few people for drinks the other night and it's been years since I had a conversation with men who talked about pseudo-intellectual trivial things. I don't know if it was just me or that I've been a Discovery-Channel-geek or that I made tons of research or experience with the different topics discussed (not going to mention specific topics since I don’t want to cause a flame thread or what have you –I just want to lash out my feelings in the web,
capiche?).
I was revolted on how they perceived things and when I was younger I couldn't help myself correcting people however, this time, I kept my mouth closed. I listened and gave little about my views of their ideas or perceptions. I was disgusted on the humor they used and the tone they uttered.
The lack of sensitivity that most of my genders have dismays me. I wish that they put themselves in other people's shoes before retorting and it's embarrassing if not, irritating if not, annoying if not, insulting witnessing all these, knowing how ignorant their views are.
I try not to associate myself with these kinds of men. Being civil is fine but it requires tons of amounts of patience from me. Living abroad taught me a lot of tolerance but then again, I meet men because of work and not for socials so I suppose, my tolerance for it differs. I guess this is where paradigm shifting comes into play.
I keep hearing stories about relationships ending because men tend to want variety. I know what comes through their minds however; it’s still not an excuse to act on these impulses and well, responsibilities from their actions play its role here.
A few years ago, I had doubts entering in a relationship. I had for the most part of my late teens and early twenties explored and experience as much as I can and it wasn't because of my pursuit of conquering and right to brag about conquests rather, it was about discovering, and understanding who I was and from it came about the principles I foster and take high regard in.
I have never cheated when I was committed and on the few times that I became committed into a relationship I thought about growth, passion, companionship and communication. And the lack of these resulted to epiphanies of what I was looking for which, resulted to ending them and hence, the search continued until a few months ago.
I am finally committed into a relationship that I know entails an ever after. Experience has taught me to identify what lacked. She is everything I have ever dreamed of and more.
The search is finally over; all I need to do now is enjoy the ride until time ripens this relationship for the next level.
Labels: future, love, men, relationship
posted by vinz @ 8:00 AM
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Thursday, September 06, 2007
I’ve been unfair lately to my readers.
I’ve been unfair lately to my readers.
I’ve been writing fewer and fewer lines when I have privately written pages full for someone I’ve been madly in love with for the past few months and who would have known that the little acts I took years ago would lead to something like this; to something true and real.
I was surprised, we both were surprised.
Surmise to say, it’s been a hell of a ride thus far. She has spun me from bliss to confusion these past months, it’s safe to say we were both emotional and she’s dealing with ghosts of her past.
Despite her attempts of discouraging me from vying my affections, I remained adamant, I kept my faith and believed that the connection, that the glimpses I saw in her were real and towards at every end of each cycle, I felt I was right and regardless of the hurts, the pain she has dealt, my feelings for her grew if not intensified.
She has her way of letting me fall, spiraling downwards unknown glee to abashment to dread and back. I braved odds whilst friends lent their encouragement, their thoughts and at times their pessimism.
At the end of the day, I knew none of them can judge nor could they deduce what history we’ve shared, what doors we unlocked for one to see. In the end it’s me and her or soon a “we”.
We took our time and truthfully there were moments when I wanted to ask why, when and how come. I think about it now and I smile, glad that I never asked, pleased that it felt right to give her time to allow her to be comfortable with me and have her way in dealing her issues. Two years of careful treading will allow you that; patience and understanding.
The day finally came when she said yes to meeting up again, it’s been more than a month since I saw her and yet not a day went by without us conversing, allowing us to get to know each other and lately, read our moods.
I wasn’t late, I was an hour early. I prepared myself mentally during those minutes of waiting, I keep thinking about the rough plan we’ll do on that day, I wanted us to talk, to enjoy each other’s company the same way we usually do every day but only this time, we’ll be together.
So what happened then?
I’m being unfair again, aren’t I? *laughs*
Labels: love, relationship
posted by vinz @ 6:16 PM
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Sunday, September 02, 2007
I’m still alive and kicking.
I’m still alive and kicking.
I had the best weekend… EVER.
Met up with an old friend, talked about life and brands :p
Steps we need to take…
I felt happy and content last night.
Lightning struck.
Electricity (feelings, emotions, longing) DO transmit through touch.
That there is such a thing as mists of affection mingling in the air.
Labels: love, relationship
posted by vinz @ 8:22 PM
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