Tuesday, June 28, 2005
NOSTALGIC THOUGHTS
The strain I have felt for the past months seems to have vanished for I finally have you in my life again. I don’t know where to begin as to how am I to tell you that I have been longing for this day to arrive. How many trips has it been whenever I was in a mall in your area, that I’ve been wishfully thinking of bumping into you? Although, fate must have something in store for us then, for you’ve apparently moved to a different location.
Whenever I feel nostalgic, you of all people come into mind. Someone who I’ve shared a history that no other can replace or replicate.
There were times when I felt if I had you in my life the burden of my problems would be lighter, for I have someone to share it with that can relate to immensely. However, during these moments of tribulations that I have succeeded on surpassing I grew stronger.
I’d prefer meeting you now rather than a couple or so years ago, for I am stronger and more confident of myself, someone who tends to surprise you with the little things that he does.
It’s been far too long that we haven’t seen or talked to each other, but I’m happy that we picked up where we left off. I can’t find the right words to describe this feeling I’m having, as we’re slowly getting reacquainted again. The warmth of your presence, the feeling of this-is-where-I-should-be, and the ease that I feel with the sound of your voice is still there. There are things in this life that changes and I feel content that these are the few good things that haven’t.
posted by vinz @ 2:56 AM
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Sunday, June 26, 2005
A Phone Call
He leaves his desk, heads towards the stairs, takes out his cell phone and calls her. It’s now or never, he thought, he might not be able to get the chance again if he waited a bit longer, she might be sleeping then.
It’s around 8pm in her time zone and she answers his call with a warm and pleasant hello, she knows it’s him. He was surprised since, he thought his number wouldn’t appear on her phone. It usually happens when his mom used to call him when he was back at home.
During their conversation a relief within him was felt. As though he hasn’t been drinking water for days, she has quenched his thirst. He closes his eyes as they conversed and tries to take in every moment by memory. It was a good thing that he called since; she didn’t receive his SMS earlier that morning. It’s her birthday and calling her was the least he could have done for someone that he cares a great deal.
posted by vinz @ 3:06 AM
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Friday, June 24, 2005
Past Memories
I met an old family friend of ours after more than a decade. He still works here in Riyadh and his children are still in the Philippines. By some twist of fate, they have shared our pitfalls in life. It seems that our batch who came to this country back in the ‘80s seem to have shared some kind of downfall in life.
I’ve waited for some time to commune with my childhood friends, I feel we can only share and relate to the hardships that we’ve been through, although each of us has their own versions of pitfalls. I actually don’t know what it can accomplish; meeting up with them, talk about old times? Certainly not, rather the pleasure of seeing each other and see how each of us has grown and with the travesties that we’ve been through, I know we’ve gotten stronger though the price of which is the scars that we bear.
They were the only childhood friends of mine who call me, what my family does, and I haven’t stopped caring nor have I stopped cherishing the times we’ve spent. They were the sisters I never had, and the reason for which most of my friends always asked what was so special with me always going to Fairview was the thought of seeing them by chance. Apparently, I wasn’t fortunate enough.
A flood of memories come to me, and I remember the mornings when they’d come to our home while we were sleeping, they’d get into bed and we’d sleep and vice-versa, they were the sisters I never had, and one of the first things I thought about when I got back in the Philippines back in ’95 was the thought of seeing them. Though, fate wasn’t so kind then or rather, still had something in store for us? Maybe… I met them only once during my ten year stay there and lost touch after that, cell phones were still new then and not everyone had them at the time.
So here I am, being handed an opportunity to meet up and get close with sisters I never had. Will she be able to come live here soon? I’ll pray and wish upon it.
posted by vinz @ 11:10 PM
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
Shallow? I Think Not.
“You’re shallow man.” He says to him.
He shrugs off the tactless remark and judgment of his character. Does his opinion matter? It doesn’t, and so garnered by experience, he lets it pass. The only person that can truly understand the quirks of his character is only himself. Everyone has his or her own reason to say or commit to such things or decisions, guided and within line with the values and principles one carries.
It isn’t because he prefers women with repute to beauty. There’s more to it than that, rather it simply coincides with the women he is fondly attracted to are that, women of great repute with beauty. Besides their physical features, the mind and one’s character and values that she holds are the main reasons that pique his curiosity and attraction. Strength of character, determined spirit and guided by an articulate mind and moved with passion and courage to fulfill one’s dreams. Is there such a lady? Certainly there are, he is friends with a few of these rare beauties however, he isn’t attracted to them. Having them with his company encourages him that there is that special person for him. He probably has met her already, although, she still has a long way to go to reach that certain level where everything would coincide with time and opportunity.
Committing into a relationship is far from his plans at the moment and the impulse and tactlessness of his gender is expected and yet, he finds himself disappointed that there are too few good men out there, and that probably what makes him and his close male friends great.
One shall not commit into a relationship just for the sake of being into one. He believes the time to look and commit into a relationship is the time where one can stand on his own two feet, financially. Try living alone and being responsible for a household and its tenants, being responsible for the utility bills, to provide food and the necessary items to maintain a house. You simply cannot learn everything overnight, mistakes are bound to occur and it takes time to adjust and compensate with the situation. It’s like having a family of your own without being able to make the choice. And with that experience, it changed how his frame of mind works, wisdom was garnered and strength of character developed as well as confidence in one’s self.
I’ve gone into the depths of my being, I have reached that lowest point in my life and people that mattered were there to lend me a hand. I’ve also crossed that line of life and death on different perspectives. I’ve set so many restraints in a given time in order to test my limits, my will, and my tenacity to change and better myself. I do my best to be a man of my word to the people I value.
posted by vinz @ 9:05 AM
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