Monday, October 25, 2004
Flux
My older brother once told me, “God gives us this trials knowing we could overcome it,” and it is with that praise that keeps my head above water.
I’ve always been emphatic to my surroundings, even though, often, people perceive me as numb. On the contrary, at the end of the day, I sit or lie in bed rehearsing in my mind of the day’s events. Wishing, that I could’ve handled a particular situation much better and with it, try to learn from the mistake, for so, in the future; I won’t commit it again.
I may’ve had some attention deficit disorder growing up and with that stated, I suppose, it is also my underlying source of tenacity to pursuing my goals and priorities in life. Although, at the end of it all, I realize the only person I need approval from is with myself.
I feel relief, after more than a year of being with an old friend; I’ve ended this day with a farewell to her. This old friend is a hobby, a game that I loved playing in high school, I’ve learned the fundamentals in life with my interactions, socializing, being a better man and as I’ve come to learn from again, priorities and life essentially.
I’ll probably, won’t play it again for a long while; I’ve felt yet again, for a need in change.
Change, I find myself realizing that I’ve an overbearing need for change after I’ve been with someone or something. Whether it is school, hobbies or what have you. If I don’t indulge into this need, I tend to become irate. I feel, that I’ve reached my zenith, as I had the year before, in college.
I know, the lady that I’m ever to be with has to have patience in me and is willing to understand the fluxes of my being. Someone that I can share hearty laughs with and, a lady who is unyielding in giving me support and faith in me, even though, I may at times, feel weak and small. Most of all, she radiates unconditional love to us.
It’s time, time for me to change my life style and try to see as much as I can, the people who’ve made wonderful dents to my heart; dents that has made me into a better person over the years.
posted by vinz @ 4:48 PM
|
