Hello Blog! The year is almost at an end and I have neglected you for the longest time.
The truth is, I have been thinking about cancelling this account... as I have with 4 other blog, social networking accounts etc and I’m sure, I still have a half dozen more out there, somewhere in the vast web.
She once commented when you’ve learned to love without expectations is something and I said I already knew how but thinking about it now, I never did learn to love without expectations. I always had expectations and none of my relationships were able to meet that until now.
She and I have an understanding and we can literally talk about everything, past relationships, experiences and not an ounce of insecurity is felt during such conversations. That’s why it works between her and me because we’ve laid out in the beginning who we truly are; our pet peeves, quirks and what not.
I am ready and eager to spend the rest of my life with her, an ex once said that being in a relationship is like being in a team that we’re together on everything and I never felt that with them until now.
I can turn to her for support and tell her everything that is weighing on my shoulders and by the end of it I feel better.
She is everything I have written about.
I am grateful in having her in my life for her patience, for the tolerance, for the humor and the laughter, for listening, for loving me without holding back.
I’ve always imagined that when I’d propose it would be something grand, that I have thought a lot of time with, a lot of preparation and man hours put into it but it didn’t happen in that way.
A few weeks ago I dreamt of the type of ring and stone I wanted as an engagement ring and later on that day I found a site that allowed me to purchase one that was worth way more than my current pay grade. It was a sign I thought and an opportunity I didn’t pass up.
Little did I know that customs taxes here would increase my expenses and yet, somehow was able to surpass the unexpected crisis.
Getting the engagement ring was a journey in itself and it brought affirmations of people that came and have gone in my life; what influences they have given and whether they still mattered or not and glimpses through their personal windows.
Yesterday morning I proposed, it wasn’t a well thought out plan and she knew I would when I came to her. I knew I lacked the preparation but I’d try and deliver the best speech whilst reading in between what I wrote as I tried to act cool and suave.
My hands shaking and my heart pounding in my chest I said these words:
“It's you, I felt it then when we started talking years ago but something led to another and I believe it had to happen for this, for US, to happen.
A year ago we found each other and everything fell into place, being with you felt right.
I believe we are meant for one another and if you will have me, marry me?”
This is what happens when there’s too much excitement going on in my life, I am unable to rest nor sleep because my mind is going over drive and I need to channel so I can cease my heart from palpitating as well as ward off losing my sanity.
I mean it has helped me in the past when I was living in Saudi.
When I catch myself trying to explain to people what my relationship with Mai, I realize how pointless it sometimes is. It doesn’t matter if they see how the relationship is or understand or fathom what we have for each other because a part of me doesn’t care and isn’t bothered by it.
In the past I have written what or how a relationship should be or how it should be expressed and for the most part I have done that and most of the time it doesn’t work out because it’s a two way process and open communication really is essential.
She and I were in a point in our lives where we’ve become comfortable of ourselves, knew and understood who we were and with that, we were also ready to be with that someone.
Chemistries with different people varies, I have a friend where I can talk endlessly with regarding strategy and games, of how cool it would be to do this or that and I have been with someone who invokes words of wit, love and drama.
My relationship with Mai is in truth my dream come true; I can tell her anything knowing and feeling her love wouldn’t falter, able to spend hours talking to each other until sleep takes us, care for each other, have a great time, laughter in abundance and support. She has loved me from my best to my worst and back again.
She makes me happy without worrying.
I plan on proposing to her soon.
I mean really really soon.
I have ordered the ring but it seems customs is taking a full day assessment on that one ring with complete paperwork.
I have experience with handling courier service, it is my line of work and something to take this long is an act of laziness if not lack of manpower.
I’ve barely slept for 4 hours, I’m screwed when I get to work later.
Note to self make sure to sleep during my 1 hour break.
I’ve been palpitating like crazy for the past 2 days and I have been busy.
It’s a few days until the GF and I head to Anawangin with her friends, I’ll be bringing my DSLR with me, I have bought a Tenba Waistbag at Greenbelt 5 at Digiwalker.
Also went to Hidalgo and purchased 2 lens hoods, an lcd protector and high quality UV filter.
I’ve sweat and walked endlessly for the past few days and it was a good thing that I was able to have my feet massaged in Cuenca, Batangas during the weekend. My heel doesn’t hurt as much though, I need to stretch every time I start walking when I’ve sat or stood still for more than maybe an hour or so.
I am concerned that I may not be able to perform my best at work later due to the lack of sleep and not to mention my patience running low when it happens.
I need to drink coffee or maybe tea?
To keep myself awake though the cost is my heart palpitating like crazy even more.
Or is this excitement due to a package I’ve been waiting to arrive?
I love watching the yearly Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and lately this mashup keeps ringing in my head.
You're sweet as a honey bee But like a honey bee stings You've gone and left my heart in pain All you left is our favorite song The one we danced to all night long It used to bring sweet memories Of a tender love that used to be
Now it's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone It's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone
A sentimental fool am I to hear a old love song And wanna cry But the melody keeps haunting me Reminding me how in love we used to be Keep hearing the part that used to touch my heart Saying together forever Breaking up never
It's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone It's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone
Precious memories keep a lingering on Everytime I hear our favorite song Now you're gone Left this emptiness I only reminisce The happiness we spent We used to dance on the music Make romance through the music
It's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone It's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone
It's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone It's the same old song But with a different meaning Since you been gone
I’m really happy where I’m working right now. I get that sense of fulfillment without the strain as a shift ends, I’m not tired or groggy and I’m working with a great team.
Ok there, I let it out… weee!
And it’s the weekend! Plans for today is… bleak I don’t know what to do, I’m not spending it with the gf and that’s for a change since I’ve been spending it with her for over a year now. What I think I want to do is cook something spicy! And maybe have a few cocktails on the side, a friend will be coming over to start mixing, jus t time with the boyz!
Yesterday, I allowed myself to be majorly pissed but today I’ll have the house all to myself!
To cool off after I did my errands I took a haircut and a pedicure which led to a massage and scalp treatment. Price was a bit pricy compared to just having all those services done at Bruno’s Barbers and plus, their towels doesn’t smell like PUKE!
TODAY, I’m going to chillax without worrying how much I’ll spend on what wants I crave.
On, another note I finally got a paypal account for shopping purposes at the moment and I just got my first invoice. It will probably take me 4-5 salaries to pay off but it’s worth it and I’ll even talk about it once the necessary arrangements I plan on doing have been met!
Hopefully by next week we’ll have the oven repaired and the gf and I can start baking brownies again. I’ll be roasting chicken as well and make fluffy biscuits with caramelized honey on top! mmmMMMMmmmm…..
I finally feel where I want to be and that it feels like my goals I have set are in motion.
It’s a long weekend for the others too and a huge sale at SM malls, have fun shopping and enjoy the long weekend! :)
If you’ve worked or currently working at a call center then you can relate to the incoming call just when you are about to end your shift and I have been guilty preempting something like it to happen with my colleagues back when I was working at Concentrix.
And I happen to think about it just when my shift was about to end today.
I’m not working in a call center, there’s a sense of accomplishment whenever I head to work since I started working at Emerson Network Power. I took a leap of faith a year ago, I had enough of the call center life, I had reached my goal whilst working there and it was time for me to move on and focus on my future. The goals was stay there for at least 6 months and find a job related to a profession I liked or found fulfillment in whilst working in Saudi and that was Supply Chain Management.
It’s easy to say that I went through a lot to get to where I am now however, but to the people listening or reading they don’t have a clue what “went through a lot means”. I still have a long way to go but, I’m here, currently another step to reaching my goals in my life.
I’m trying and finally succeeding.
Growing up I always wanted to get along with everyone, my brothers I thought always found it easy. They get invited on sleepovers, parties whereas I get to come if my parents forced my brothers too. I always stumbled and did my best to get along and it led to people taking advantage of me.
College opened a lot of doors, and I met tons of friends along the way. I learned how to really talk to women, flirt, and converse, be funny and say and act the right things at the appropriate times but there was more mishaps, more than I can remember and yet, I managed to keep to keep a few friends.
There was that one time when an impossible happened, a date with someone that led to one of my happiest moments. It still brightens my mood when I think about it.
I want to write beautifully, or at the least in ways that captivates intrigue, amusement and maybe, influence a train of thought that besets the mind.
At the moment, I’m happy that I am finally productive and busy, that I’m earning again, that I am able to lavish my gf with comforts here and there.
There’s still so much more that I want to do... there’s that book and a graphic novel I want to write, out of town trips with the gf and with a friend to document and write about here, travel Europe and Southeast Asia, own a car, buy a house and lot, remodeling it to become my dream home, have a family and yeah, win the lottery 100 Mill sounds about right :p
