Showing posts with label Bolo Yeung. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bolo Yeung. Show all posts

12 November 2012

# 600 - Breathing Fire

Yes it's true folks, this is officially our six-hundredth post on Lost Video Archive.
To commemorate I'm dropping a review that I've been sitting on for almost a year, something both representative -it is random and generally "low quality" (by normative standards, not mine)- but also atypical -it's on DVD and martial artsy. I love you all so much I give you this gift.

So please, raise a glass to Lost Video Archive and peruse my babblings on the nugget of 90's that is:


United States – 1991
Director – Lou Kennedy, Brandon Pender, Brandon De-Wilde
Echo Bridge Home Entertainment, 2004, DVD
Run Time - 1 hour, 26 minutes

Lesh do shome training....
When Uncle David comes to their father’s home in search of sanctuary, two brothers, Tony and Charlie (Jonathan Ke Quan) discover that the washed-up drunk is another in the long and vaunted cinematic tradition of expert martial-artist Vietnam veterans. Uncle David has taken custody of a young woman, the daughter of a war buddy who was killed by a ruthless criminal gang of (other) martial artists. When the thugs, including the ever-bulging Bolo Yeung come looking for the girl, the brothers want to help, but find that Uncle David is reticent to get them involved. When the thugs prove to be too much for David to handle, (even with the help of a pint of whiskey,) he reluctantly takes Tony and Charlie under his tutelage. In an inspiring and epic montage of choreographed grimaces, sincere grunts and underage shirtless-boy backslapping, Tony and Charlie become a hypothetically formidable low-rent recreation of Double Dragon.



Fortunately for the plot up to this point, the helpless female token has completely failed to recognize that her own host, Tony and Charlie’s father Mike is the leader of the very gang that smashed down her door and murdered her parents. Of course it helps that everyone else has also remained happily oblivious to Mike’s glaring sleaziness and casual indifference toward the pugnacious goons who keep dropping by to smash things and snatch the girl away. But that was before Charlie and Tony were green berets. Once they have tested their mad skills against some bartender-karate-midgets they have a revelation just in time for the big showdown with dad. Of course, as we’ve known all along thanks to some extremely convincing flashbacks, Mike is also the sociopathic, racist kung-fu ‘Nam vet who murdered Charlie’s Vietnamese mother during the war. Guilt-tripped by his brother into adopting the orphan, Mike got his revenge with the kid's name. The child will always be an enemy.  Nevertheless, this revelation comes just in time to unburden our spectatorial minds for the unambiguous third act climax.

With all of this historical mayhem revealed, the multigenerational camaraderie that has sustained tension until now predictably falters. Mike and Tony go their own ways and David and Charlie bitterly follow suit. But this premature bifurcation is not to last, for there remains a final reunification, a coming to terms which in the presence of anything “’Nam” must symbolically, if only superficially, represent the healing of the American nation itself. In a scene typical of the heartwarming coming of-age watered-down karate film that was so popular at the time, Charlie and Tony spar out their differences at the California State Tae Kwon Do Championships and all returns to normalcy in a moving fraternal-love-conquers-all freeze-frame embrace as the credits roll up and the salty eyeball liquid of joy rolls down.

Now that you're done with that, go read my friend Karl Brezdin's review of this fucker at his wonderful blog Fist of B-List. He's got better screen caps than me! Go!

23 May 2011

TC 2000

United States – 1993
Director – T. J. Scott
MCA/Universal Home Video, 1999, VHS
Run Time – 1 hour, 39 minutes

When I think of dystopian near-future scenarios, Toronto is definitely one of the first places to cross my mind as the ideal setting. What major metropolitan area is more evocative of a sun-scorched and toxic post-apocalyptic environment than the largest city in Canada? I can already see what will happen… The rich white folks will hide underground and name their new exclusive community “Underworld”, leaving all the brown people on the surface to be ravaged by an epidemic martial arts plague which causes chronic competitions and terminal sparring. Subjected to repeated raids by these mud races, Underworld will evolve into a highly militarized society based on retro technology from the 70’s.

It's like a speech bubble that says "radical" right there on his head.

In order to evade charges of overt racism which is totally uncool in future-Canada, they will employ a token negro to lead their defense against the surface, Jason Storm (Billy fuckin’ Blanks) who sports a haircut that screams “the future will be awesome” even more than hoverboards and robot vacuum-cleaners combined. (Neither of which, sadly, will appear in this dystopia.) However, when it becomes clear that the relationship with his white partner, Zoey Kinsella is more than just professional, Underworld’s leadership will concoct a quick justification for preventing the consummation of such a taboo relationship. It sounds far-fetched, even paranoid I know, but like the cosmetics stockpiles of which the surface hordes will generously avail themselves, even miscegenation taboos will miraculously survive the pre-opening-credit apocalypse of TC 2000.

In order to make the final cleansing of Underworld seem totally not about race or anything like that, Zoey will be gunned down during a raid. Storm will be blamed as a traitor and replaced with Teutonic Ubermensch Mathias Hues, which would make perfect sense. In order to render their union permanently unconsumable, Storm will be “totally deprogrammed” and Zoey more than likely turned into a cyborg. Of course, no female-super-death-bot would be complete, or futuristic enough without a cheap vinyl hooker outfit and a menacing acronym, probably something along the lines of TC 2000-X. It will be the pinnacle of post-apocalyptic military science, merging a beautiful woman’s body with the finest in modern cybernetic killing technology all for the purpose of beating up some raggedy-ass extras.

Despite, or perhaps because of the epidemic spread of combat drills, the aboveground survivors will unite under the reluctant guidance of Jason Storm who might conceivably band together with a reluctant and quiet, but astonishingly powerful kung-fu master named Sumai (Bolo Yeung). With luck, Underworld might have forgotten to take the emotion and/or memory parts out of Zoey’s brain potentially causing her to return to the proverbial “dark side”. Compared to all the other hypothetical dystopian near-future scenarios out there, it doesn’t look like things will really be all that different in Toronto. But hey, I’m just guessing.



Trailer via Yangsze @ Youtoob