Remembering Daniel... 12/16/1977-8/24/1995

Thirty years ago, my family's lives were changed forever.  It was unquestionably one of the worst days of my life. It's hard to believe that it's been 30 years and honestly, I don't think about Daniel every day or even every other day but my mind's been churning lately and I just wanted to write about it. 

Daniel Burton Waggoner was the next sibling after me (I'm the oldest). He was only about 21 1/2 months younger than me, born December 16, 1977. Followed by us, there's my brother, Phil, who is only 20 months younger than Daniel, and Martha, the surprise.  Martha is about 5 years younger than Phil and almost exactly 8 years younger than me. 

From the time that Daniel was very young, he was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect which meant that his heart was not "hooked up" the way that it should be.  His heart did not pump blood the most efficiently (that's my understanding) and his heart had some other issues.  Early on, my parents needed to take him to cardiology appointments,etc.

However, I'm making this sound like he had a really disadvantaged life with terrible obstacles all the way through and that is FAR from the case.  Daniel loved sports.  From the time he could speak and string sentences together, he was singing, "Take me out to the ball game" or "Dynamite" (not the more recent version).  Even when he was really little, he was throwing balls back and forth to my parents.

He lived and breathed BASEBALL, BASKETBALL, watching sports, imitating his favorite sports commentators.  He loved to play both of the above sports (loved isn't a strong enough word for he felt about baseball) =).  He frequently tossed a ball back and forth to my dad, brother, or a friend.  If no one else was around, he often used the brick wall of our house as a rebounder and repeatedly tossed the tennis ball against the house.  In case you don't want to read anything else, I'm going to make a list here about Daniel.

1.  He LOVED baseball.  He could and did play any position on the field with finesse and skill.

2.  He LOVED basketball.  He played on school and rec teams and was quite talented.

3. He LOVED to imitate his favorite sports announcers.  I can remember him frequently doing impressions of Dick Vitale.

4.  Even though he had a congenital heart condition, he was the most athletic of any of us. (if you know me at all, you know I'm not athletic. ) ha ha!  He was a natural athlete who God had blessed with talent but he also worked hard at it.

5. He was quiet around many people and always respectful of adults but he liked to have fun with his friends.

6. Daniel had a great sense of humor.  He often seemed somewhat serious but he could really make people laugh.

7. Daniel's best friend was Chad High.  Chad was a neighbor, teammate, school mate (though Chad was a year ahead in school) and very close friend to Daniel.

8. Daniel didn't really enjoy travelling.  He was more of a homebody. He often got carsick as a kid and he also struggled with asthma so sometimes the asthma was worse if we went to visit someone on a vacation or something.

9.  Although Daniel could be somewhat quiet, he was known as a leader.  He was part of the FCA(Fellowship of Christian Athletes) and Boys O.  Daniel lettered in baseball and basketball in high school.  He frequently led by example.  People knew that he didn't drink, smoke or party.

10.  Daniel had a pacemaker put it in at age 10.  He was always allowed to play baseball but he was not allowed to play contact sports like football or wrestling.

11. He never really talked about the future.  He had an older sister (me) who was nosy and always wanted to know what he had planned after high school, who he was interested in dating (ha ha), etc but he never really talked about the future and he DEFINITELY did not tell his nosy sister anything about which girls he liked. =)  He was also a very private person in general.  He just kept things to himself.

12. Daniel was a great student, very smart, etc but he HATED to read. Pangs to me to say it, but it's true. 

13. He had a new pacemaker put in earlier in the summer before he died.

14. Daniel and my brother, Phil, were both baptized at the same time at our home church. (Daniel was almost 16 and Phil was 14).  One of the ministers at our church baptized them but it was outside of a church service.  We invited family and close friends.

15. Daniel was known by several nicknames including, "Dan the man", "thunder Dan", "DW pronounced like Dee Dubya", etc. 

16. Some of his favorite baseball players were Dale Murphy, Ozzie Smith, John Smoltz, Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, etc.  Our family loved to go and see the Braves play and we'd always need to go early and stay late so that my brothers (and Martha and I a teeny bit) could get autographs.  We were Braves fans even when they terrible-before it was the cool thing. =)

17. I used to babysit a lot growing up and once or twice, Daniel took a babysitting job that I couldn't do. One time, he seriously just sat on the floor and he and the kid (who was probably about 2 or so I'm guessing) just kind of a stare down contest.  The kids didn't hardly move and Daniel didn't either.  I think Daniel tried to roll a ball to the little boy and he just looked at it. 

18. Daniel never had a real job (other than a few little babysitting jobs probably 2-3 times.) 

19. Oh, another thing, is that when I sing, "Victory in Jesus", I always think about Daniel.  He led that song several times.  When we had his memorial service, that is the theme that my parents chose and we sang that song.  

20, My dad lost his job earlier in the summer and later, that turned out to be a blessing. God can see the big picture. My dad had time to go to at least one Braves game with Daniel and Chad (I think Phil too).  Dad also drove me and some friends to the beach that summer.  (He most likely would not have had time to do all that if he was working full-time.)

        I don't know why but I have just been reminscing about Daniel more recently. It's been 30 years?!  Hard to believe.  So much life has happened since then.  I was a sophomore in college at Lipscomb when it happened.  It was the 1st week of classes.  I was living on campus at Lipscomb.  It was pre-cell phone time. I remember that it was a Thursday and our classes hard started back on that Tuesday.  Lots of excitement since it was the 1st week of classes.  Looking back, I realize that God allowed our family to have a very special and unique time together before Daniel died. I didn't have a car so Daniel and my sister, Martha, had come to pick me up from dorm, (after also picking up our elderly aunt, Mary Tom) and then, we picked up Phil from work.  Then, we drove to our house to have dinner.  My mom had cooked dinner for all of us since one of my grandmother's cousins was visiting from Texas. My grandmother and her cousin, as well as my parents and the rest of our immediate family plus my Aunt Mary Tom were there for dinner.  A little while after dinner, my mom drove me by Castner Knott's so that I could pick up my last pay check for the summer.  Then, she drove me back to school.  I don't know if my sister went with us or not.  After I got back to school, I went to a couple of different club meetings and I remember that I was on a spiritual "high".  I went to the club meeting for future youth ministers and we had a wonderful devo.  I don't know what time I got back but it must have been around 10 or so.  I think I may have gone to another club meeting too but not sure.  

        I lived in the dorm and my roommate was Andrea Davis.  As I said, in those days, you didn't have cell phones so everyone had a regular phone in their rooms.  When I got back to my dorm room, Andrea said, "I'm getting a little concerned.  You've missed a few calls from your brother, Phil.  He's called a couple of times.  I told him that I didn't know when you'd be back."  I was confused.  I didn't know what was going on.  I think I called home and they said that I needed to come home.  Phil had just recently turned 16 so he wasn't really hardly driving yet I don't think.  Andrea said that she could drive me home to our house.  When we got there, Andrea offered to stay and drive us to the hospital but I said, "that's Ok.  I'll just take my siblings and go to the hospital."  I think that Andrea had a really bad feeling about it since my younger 2 siblings were home by themselves and they had been trying to call me. We immediately drove to the hospital. (Southern Hills where the ambulance had taken Daniel).  As we parked and were walking towards the hospital, my Uncle Mike, who is one of my dad's younger brothers, came out and said, "I'm so sorry but he's gone.  Daniel's gone." It was probably around 11PM or just after when Phil, Martha and I arrived at the hospital. We were all in total shock.

        So, what had happened was that after my mom and I had left the house to go to Castner's and she was driving me back to school, Daniel had said that he wanted to go for a run. In what later we said had to have been divine intervention, my dad said that he would go with him (very unusual, never happened). Just as they jogged down the street about 4-5 houses, Daniel fell and collapsed and had basically went into cardiac arrest. My dad called 911 and the ambulance came (I don't know all the details of that because I wasn't there.)  The EMTs did CPR and took Daniel to the nearest hospital (my dad rode in the ambulance with them).    I think just a few minutes later, someone who my mom knew drove by and offered take her to the hospital.  The terrible thing was that she assumed that they would go to Vanderbilt because that's where his cardiologists, etc were but instead they had taken him to Southern Hills which was closest.   So, she and Norm Partin (who was a friend who gave my mom a ride) drove to Vanderbilt and then went to Southern Hills.  The EMTs and medical staff, etc were never able to revive Daniel.  My mom told me the other day that she could see God's hand in everything later because there were several people working at Southern Hills that night that she knew but we all felt like we were in a horrible nightmare.  

        We all remember that a bunch of closer friends and family were there ready to surround us, give hugs, and pray with us when we arrived at the hospital. I will never forget the strength that my dad showed.  He led the most amazing prayer at the hospital thanking God for Daniel's life as we circled around with family and friends who had come to the hospital to support us. A lot of people might have been upset with God or grieving terribly or whatever.  The days and weeks after that were difficult to get through (to say the least) but I was (and am) so thankful for the faith that our family has.  I honestly don't know how we would have gotten through it. We were so blessed and remembered/supported by so,so many family and friends in the days and weeks (and months) to come.  I remember that when we had the visitation for Daniel and later the memorial service, many, many people came out to share their condolences and show their love for Daniel and our family.  Many people had to wait in line for quite some time just to be able to see us.  

         Daniel only lived 17 years but he impacted so many people.  Occasionally, I find myself wishing that he could be here for a short time and meet Matt and our girls, and meet his other nephews and niece,  as well as other people in the family.

        

Fun at the Fair

Abbie and Jessie, Sophie and Carley

Abbie with performers from one of the shows.

Abbie got to be part of the "band".  

They made this area look like an old timey wash station.

It's a tradition!  It's hard to get all of us with a decent expression on our face.  

Here's Abbie up in the tractor!

Carley and Sophie on the midway.  The X-Factory ride in the background was one of their favorites. 

We saw Lady Houdini, an escape artist perform.  It makes me nervous just to watch.

Just after school started, our family was able to go to the Williamson County Fair and meet up with the Gray's.  I wasn't sure if we were going to get a chance to go this year or not.  School started back really early this year.  We decided to go on a Saturday and get there during the day kind of like we did last year.  I didn't know if the girls would still agree to go to the Little One's Farming this year because they've about outgrown it (sniff, sniff) but Abbie still wanted to do it.  They get to do all these little tasks like a farmer and they trade in their fake seeds, eggs, veggies, milk, etc at the end for an ice cream sandwich or another treat.  I think, as much as anything, they like the treat at the end.  Abbie does enjoy seeing all of the animals in the big barn though.

Abbie wanted to ride on the ferris wheel and that is just not her Mama's thing so Miss Jill was kind enough to go with her.  The kids had a great time riding the rides.  It was pretty hot to start off.  We also saw a couple of shows.  Abbie got to participate in one about recycling that had music in it.  Lady Houdini was really entertaining because she's an escape artist but it's hard to even watch her do her stunts.  We had a good time overall.  A heavy shower came up right about dinner time and we decided to go ahead and leave.  

Labor Day Weekend Fun in Alabama

Paula and Matt with the little waterfall behind us

Our girls with the waterfall

Sophie, Paula and Abbie with Ivy Green, Helen Keller's birthplace and childhood home.

waterfalls at Spring Park

train at Spring Park

the well at Ivy Green where Helen Keller first signed "water".

Paula (being silly) and Matt

an old safe at Rosie's Cantina in Florence, AL

Our family decided to take advantage of the three day weekend for Labor Day.  We took a day trip and headed down to Tuscumbia, AL so that we could visit Helen Keller's birthplace.  It's about a 2 hour drive from Franklin.  Abbie did a little report on Helen Keller last year at school so she was really interested in her.  Thankfully, the weather wasn't quite as hot and humid as it has been for the weekend but it was still pretty warm.  Our family stopped in Florence for lunch before visiting Helen Keller's home nearby.  We had a great Mexican lunch at Rosie's Cantina in downtown Florence.  Our food was delicious and the service was good.  Our girls appreciated it that free ice cream is included with your meal.  =)  Then, we walked around a little bit.

After that, we drove over to nearby Tuscumbia and toured Helen Keller's birthplace and childhood home, Ivy Green.  I (Paula) had been there as a child because, I was also fascinated with Helen Keller when I was little.  After we toured the home and grounds, we visited Spring Park nearby.  There was a pretty little waterfall, a carousel, a train that went around the park, a big playground, a small roller coaster, and a little pond with ducks on it.  It was a neat little park and we spent some time there doing everything.  The girls really liked the roller coaster.   On our way home, we stopped at Sonic for Happy Hour.  All in all, we had a fun but tiring day.  

New Beginnings

Sophie and Miss Liz, her favorite violin teacher so far!  =)

Sophie with her beautiful new violin!

Sophie (on R) with some of the girls in her new Girl Scout troop.

I guess you could say that I took a summer hiatus from the blog.  Things just always seem to be busy around here but I do like having this to come back to so that I can remember special times and special things we've done.  This fall, Sophie has embarked on a new journey, middle school!  I think I was just as nervous, if not more so, than she was.  It's a big step up when your child goes from elementary to middle school.  There are so many changes from the earlier wake up time, earlier school start time/dismissal, and for Sophie it meant almost starting over too with tons of new kids because her school is one of five elementary schools that feeds into the middle school.  Her middle school is quite a bit farther from our house and she has to catch the bus at about 6:39 A.M.  (yikes!)  This is when we were usually starting to wake up at our house in the past.  

She's been back in school now for about 5 weeks or so now so she has had some time to adjust.  She's making new friends, getting used to the schedule, her new bus, etc.  Sophie's done great with adjusting to getting up early, setting an alarm, etc.  I'm really proud of her!  This summer, Sophie decided to try contact lenses instead of glasses and she's done great with adjusting to them too.  She also had braces put on her teeth.  

In May, Sophie tried out for the Williamson County Junior Orchestra and she made it!  She has taken violin lessons since she was in the first grade.  She will have rehearsals with the orchestra one night a week.  She was so excited about this opportunity!  The violin teacher that Sophie has had for the last three years was only going to offer violin lessons in her home.  We did that a little bit this summer.  We love Ms. Liz but since she doesn't live close to us, we are starting with a new teacher this week.  She will be coming to our home which I think will be wonderful!  Since Sophie has grown taller, we realized that she needed a bigger violin.  We had been renting one for a while but we decided to buy one this time.  It came in a couple of weeks ago and it is beautiful!

Since Sophie was changing almost everything else in her life-new school, new bus, new friends, new violin teacher, new orchestra opportunity, why not go ahead and change Girl Scout troops too?  Sophie decided to join a new Girl Scout troop that has girls in it from her school.  They seem like a really neat group of girls.  One of her friends from her old Girl Scout troop, Grace Dalenberg, also switched to the new troop.

Family Celebration

Look at Abbie's creation!

Abbie's soccer team after their final game.

cousin time!

what a cutie-little Monroe!

Abbie, Sophie and Matt-Sophie's got her new music stand.

the birthday "girls"

Abbie in her pretty dress.

The weekend of Sophie and Nana's birthdays was quite busy.  Friday night we had Sophie's friends' party.  Saturday morning, Sophie's GS troop was doing a little booth at a garage sale for a little while.  Then, Sophie had a violin recital.  Nana and Paw-paw were able to come to that.  Sophie did a great job but she was really tired from staying up a little bit late the night before.

Our family ate some lunch and then, Abbie had her last soccer game of the season.  Afterwards, she got a new trophy and they had cookie cake.  Then, we went home to get cleaned up before going to Nana's house.  We were all able to be there-Uncle Phil, Nana and Paw-paw, Aunt Martha's family and our family.  We celebrated Nana's birthday that day (April 30) and Sophie's birthday on the next day.

On Sophie's birthday, she was able to open some gifts from us, we went to church and then we had lunch at Cheesecake Factory.  We were able to sit outside and we really enjoyed that.  That afternoon, our family went for a bike ride since the weather was nice.  Unfortunately, I think Sophie enjoyed it least of all because she got hot and sweaty.  Afterwards, we got some cold drinks from Sonic!  That night at church, there were having a special separate service led by young ladies and Sophie did a great job reading a scripture.  The girls had some cookies and snacks afterwards.  Whew, it was a busy weekend!!

Sophie's 11th Birthday

Sophie and Carley getting their nails done!

Lots of fun with "Minute to win it" games

Abbie vs. Allie on a challenge

Go, Sophie!  Get those ping pong balls out of there!

Another "minute to win it" challenge.  =)

We tried a face mask-here's the girls chillaxin'-Abby B., Anaiah, and Ellie

Here's Abby C. and Allie

Abbie, Sophie and Carley

Here's Jessie with her pyramid.

Allie and Sophie-BFFs since 1st grade!

Sophie, Anaiah, and Carley-we made bath bombs!

All of the girls watching a movie.

Did you know plastic stacking cups provide hours of entertainment?

I really can't believe it but Sophie turned 11 earlier this week on Sunday, May 1.  It seems crazy that she's already 11 and she's almost as tall as I am.  On the Friday before Sophie's birthday, we had a birthday party at our house.   Six of her friends were able to come so it was a great turnout.  I made poppyseed chicken casserole, rice, rolls, and then we had a tossed salad and strawberry pretzel salad that mom made.  (Sophie had requested no pizza this time.)  Our theme this year was a spa party and put on the invite that the girls could wear their p.j.s if they wanted to.  After the girls had dinner, we painted their nails and then, we played several "minute to win it" games.  The girls had a great time with these.  Then, some of the girls tried the face mask that I made (it turned out kind of runny).  Just for fun, they put some cucumber slices on their eyes.  Nana was able to come to the party and my friend, Jill, was nice enough to help me with painting nails, etc.  Carley's sister, Jessie, also stayed and played with Abbie.  After playing some games, the girls had some cookie cake and ice cream.  Then, we made some bath bombs that the girls could take home after they dried.  Sophie opened her gifts and then, they watched part of a movie called Parental Guidance with Billy Crystal and Marisa Tomei.  It was pretty funny!  After watching part of the movie, it was time for the girls to go home.  I think that all of them had a great time!

Funny Stories on Abbie

I had a couple of funny stories that I wanted to share about Abbie.  The first one has to do with Abbie's frequent sleep walking habits.  She usually goes to bed about 8:00 at night but she frequently gets up around 9:30 and we have to walk her back to bed.  Sometimes, she says things and other times she does not.  One night when she was sleep walking recently, Matt got up to check on her and help her get back to bed.  Before she got back in the bed she asked, "Did Sophie get baptized tonight?"  Matt just responded with a "yes".  We thought it was funny because Sophie was baptized last summer.  It's better not to argue with someone when he or she is half asleep though.  =)

A few days ago, we were driving home from church one Sunday night.  We had celebrated Sophie and Nana's birthdays over the weekend so we had been eating a lot of dessert (they had also brought cookie cake for Abbie's last soccer game on Saturday.)  Anyway, Abbie asked if she could have some cookie cake when we got home ( I had made some for Sophie's birthday cake).  I was a little bit distracted but I said, "well, you don't really need more dessert but maybe you can have just a bit".  We had also eaten lunch at Cheesecake Factory that day for Sophie's birthday and shared a piece of cheesecake.  She said, "what is a bit of cake?  I don't know what a bit of cake is.  Can I have more than a bit of cake?"  I said, a bit of cake just means that you only need a little bit."  She had also eaten cookies after church so I didn't really feel sorry for her.  We decided that both of the girls had already eaten enough dessert for the day!

Another story on Abbie that was cute happened this past Sunday morning.  Abbie usually takes some notes on our Sunday morning sermon.  She does a great job with it.  This past Sunday she was taking notes because normally her age group meets on Sunday nights and we review the scriptures from that morning's sermon.  Well, this Sunday she was taking notes and our preacher started talking about some recent health problems that he had.  He recently dislocated his hip and he was talking about he had to go back and look up his precautions from that surgery.  On one of the slides it listed some hip precautions.  Our preacher was tying that in to a Biblical point but Abbie busily copied down the precautions.  I just thought it was cute!