Listening... Waiting... Praying... Hoping...

Jemalelinh came over yesterday to just nuah. We went grocery shopping at J8, bought a lot of prawns and came back to my place to cook. It was pretty fun and HEY! We didn't give ourselves indigestion after that. Then after that we sat around the TV room and talked and ate Famous Amos and talked and... You get the idea... Talk and talk and talk... And I think that the greatest thing that we did for each other was that we just listened as the other one talked. It didn't matter if advice was given or not. I'm really glad that this friendship was saved. I know that during the whole of last year, I was kind of... not there. But when I managed to find my way back, Jemalelinh was still there. :D I don't know why you stuck around but I love you so much for it. :)

I've written my appeal letter. So now I'm just waiting for Ms Tan to pass me her referral letter. I could actually just hand in my appeal without it but the referral would give my case a boost. E-mailed the dept head for an appointment but there's been no e-mail so I'm guessing he's not around. Probably on leave in the same happy holiday place that all the Vice-dean's are in. Sigh. You know what they say about harsh reality hitting you in the face? I got a bit of that yesterday when I checked the CORS website and found that they had suspended my CORS account. I think I was hoping that they wouldn't do that until the appeal period is over but I guess technically speaking I've already been dismissed. So there really wouldn't be a point for the system to keep my account active would there?

They say the worst part is the waiting. It's so true. I keep wondering "what happens if Ms Tan gives me the referral late?", "what if I finally get all I need and send in my appeal but it's too late??", "what happens if they look at my appeal and throw it in my face?", "what happens if..." over and over and over again. So now, I don't know if I should just sit tight, or if I should start planning my time-table for next sem or... I don't know. What should I do?

Repaired

Ok. Most of the damage has been repaired albeit with some changed headings coz I no longer remember what I originally called them and with some bits still missing. If I'm missing a link to somebody's blog please let me know. Seriously I don't know what happened. I thought I was just changing my "Daily Snow" comment and POOF!!! My entire blog has disappeared. Ah well... It's back now.

Sigh... Called up the Dean's office to ask when we'd be receiving our results slips coz I'd probably receive my dismissal letter then as well. So called to ask if I should wait for the letter before writing in an appeal or just write it anyhow. The woman on the phone told me that I can start writing it now, except that all the vice-deans are happily away on vacation and they don't know when my appeal can be processed. Sigh. I don't know friends... I really hope that I can at least finish properly in Singapore. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.

D-U-H

Damn i am such a klutz... If you're wondering why some sections of the side bar have different titles or are missing bits well... It's because I actually managed to delete my template somehow and I can't remember everything I put there. So I am now in the process of repairing my blog, but the main body is up and so is the chatterbox. So carry on my good people. Don't let all the reconstruction distract you.

Return From Cat City

Came back from Kuching earlier this evening. Got a new Nike knapsack from my aunt, had my fill of the wonderful wonderful Sarawak guolong mee and ever-yummy Sarawak Laksa, a slightly burned face from walking one hot morning all the way back to my grandpa's place from the Dayak market.

Was really happy to see my grandpa again. Only get to see him once a year and I know how happy it makes him to see the old house get filled up with people again. There's always so much noise, I suppose it reminds him of the past. Apparently the local Chinese newspapers came and interviewed him earlier this month. They published his story in over two days in a ten or eleven-part series about people and events that affected the history of Sarawak.

I always knew that my grandpa was a really great person and I always saw him as something of a hero. But that two-part news feature really made me feel so proud that he was my grandpa. Of course the whole family also had a bit of fun translating the article, since besides my grandpa, my sis and I are the only ones who are more fluent in Chinese. As with most Chinese newspapers, there was all this flowery language which served to emphasize or serve as anologies as to my grandpa's achievements. So there was great fun and laughter as my sis and I ran literal translations of the proverbs and similies used, which made my grandpa sound like some kind of demi-god. And my grandpa, never one to miss out on putting on a good show, quite matter-of-factly agreed with it all, claiming all that the reporter put in to be "absolutely true!" Well... For him to actually be the reincarnation of the legendary Hua Tuo is a bit of a stretch but hey! We all had fun with it and he was greatly amused.

What really saddens me though is that even though my grandpa still obviously has a really brilliant mind (he can still remember his Japanese along with at least 3 other languages besides English and here I can barely remember my Jap... Not to mention all that history he's experienced... It's all in there in his head!!), his body is shutting down at an increasing rate. Last year, although he needed help getting up, moving around and with meals, he was still turning the pages of his newspapers himself and was still able to hold long conversations before getting too tired. This year I never even saw him lifting up the papers. His arms had become too stiff and his fingers are completely frozen. His ability to have a proper conversation is so stunted now because he gets so physically tired just from getting up and moving around the table. Sometimes we're all seated at the table with him and talking, and his eyes will close or he'll start to sink a little in his chair. We know he can actually hear what we say because sometimes he'll suddenly comment and it's not just the random mumblings of a senile old man. He really knows what we were talking about. It's only because his body can't physically stay awake for very long. I'm ashamed to say this but sometimes I look at him and actually wonder if this man was really once the same grandpa that would lift me and my cousins onto his shoulders and turn us upside down, even when he was already 60-odd years old. He did so many wonderful things in his life... He doesn't deserve to have to grow old like this. It's not fair. Sigh... But... Such is life. I just hope he can stay happy for as long as possible.

In other news, I also received my Christmas present from NUS via the internet. I actually wanted to make an entry on the day itself but was attacked by teenage cousins. The cousins aren't so bad by themselves, I quite like my cousins (except for one anti-social bottomless pit currently taking refuge in my house and one she-monster from my dad's side who is gladfully going off to Dubai coz her dad got posted there for two years. Muahahahaha). The problem is that the presence of cute cousins means the presence of an uncle who is in constant need of an ego boost(goodness knows why). Back when my brother was serving NS in the air force and my eldest cousin (the bottonless pit) was in the M'sian navy, he was forever trying to compare the two. Even now with my brother on study leave and my cousin working in S'pore, he tries to find something to compare. Last year he tried to compare me and my other older cousin who's studying in Illinois. If he had found out about my situation there would be endless condescensions. Huh... Aiyah... Maybe Nicholas can help you lah.. Even though he's in freakin'faraway-Illinois doing bloodyhell-Engineering that has forPete'ssake-nothing to do with your major but Nicky's a scholarship boy lah and he can help you... *roll eyes* Save me. My uncles from both sides were all married into the family and for some reason there has to be a weirdo one to balance out the nice one on each...

Anyhow I got 2 C+s, 2 C's and a Satisfactory for Genes & Society. Not bad, considering that most of my second year was filled with F's. But I don't think it's enough for me to be put out of academic probation. I needed a B average for that. And considering that this sem was my critical sem, I'm actually expecting to see a dimissal letter for the Registrar's Office any day this week. Don't get me wrong, I'm not actually giving up hope yet. Just this morning before I left my grandpa's house for the airport I sent an "Intent to Appeal" e-mail to the Dean's office. A sort of "pre-appeal" letter. Actually my mother helped me with it coz I was still half asleep. Heh... Then I forwarded it to Ms Tan (my Resident Fellow when I was in KR) and Terada in hopes of establishing a support base should I actually need to appeal. Ms Tan has already replied and thankfully has offered to give me any help I need. Terada on the other hand, is off on another one of his gallivants and according to his auto-reply system will only be back next month. Hopefully he returns before the appeal period is over. So Ms O8ight, don't go booking your holiday ticket just yet. You might find yourself without accomodation. Hahah. But to all of you who've posted supportively on my chatterbox and those who've kept tabs on me through sms... RJ, O8ight, Eskie, Nekoweenie, Jemalelinh... I wanna give you all a BEEG HUG and THANK YOU for just being there. It's nice sometimes not to be told what to do. *Big teary-eyed grin* Thanx.

Kaname Jun!

Hmmph... Since Nekoweenie claims that Kaname Jun only looks good with his hair covering his face and posted an example pic I shall post a pic of him without his hair covering his face. He still looks good ok!! :P:P:P

Psycho Siew Mai Strikes Again

I just realized that I may actually be over-reacting again. The last post sounds a little end-of-the-world doesn't it?? I don't know. Actually it might be me running away again. Running away from NUS. I'm always running away from my problems or from things I find troubling. You guys want to know the truth? I applied for hall stay to get away from home. I hardly went home because I didn't want to be at home. Not that I was really having any problems at home. I just wanted to get away from my mum's nagging, my brother's machoism, my sister's trying-too-hard-ism... Basically I was running away from my family's expectations of me. And now for an even harsher truth.

I ran away from KR.

My mum telling me to withdraw from KR is only half the story. I wanted to get out. My mum actually suggested that I keep the room but withdraw from all activities. But I knew that was going to be difficult. I didn't want to be there and face all these people who expected me to give them something. Like I owed it to them to do something. So I used my mum and my grades as my ticket out of KR. I ran away. Again.

*bitter laugh* I can just imagine the reaction of those 6F bastards if they actually knew. On the other hand, they might not care at all. All of them were just waiting for me to fail anyhow.

Ok yes. I'm turning psycho. Listen to me... Talk about paranoia. Although I'm not unconvinced that those assholes upstairs (actually mainly 2 of them) were good people who had good intentions. They were f***ing bastards and hypocrites. And ok I'm going to stop now before I churn out an even more psycho rant.

End of A Chapter?

Everyone who reads this blog probably already knows that I've been on academic probation and that this sem was my last chance to redeem myself. The only person who didn't know was my mother. I mean, she knew that I had failed badly during my second year, but I only told her that much at the end of last sem. She didn't know that at that point in time I had already been on academic probation for one sem. And it wasn't easy telling her. After that everytime she brought up the subject of my grades it became difficult to communicate. I couldn't talk to her about it. But somehow yesterday I managed to sit down with her during lunch and talk about it calmly. I didn't become particularly upset or anything. I told her my chances of getting off probation was probably 50-50. So she suggested going down to the Dean's office to talk to the Dean or one of the Vice-Deans. Said that at least when the time comes for real appeals, the deanery would have an idea of my situation already.

So I went home and called the office to try my luck. Of course getting a hearing with the Dean is never that easy so they told me to go and find any of the admin officers first. So with Aronwy's advice to get it over and done with asap, I went down to school. Nekoweenie came along to lend moral support and for that I am ETERNALLY grateful. It's never easy when you have to go face the people on top and beg for mercy. So we got to AS7 and I asked to see an admin officer for advice. But they told me that they couldn't really advise me on anything until the results for this sem actually came out. Still, I am thankful that the AO on duty went through the trouble of listening to me and trying to find someone whom I could talk to. And I'm so glad that Nekoweenie came with me. Seriously if you hadn't been there I think I would have just imploded in front of the AO's desk. *POOMFFF*

So the wait for the results continue. Though at the same time, I am considering finding an alternative path of study. Some things that my mum and Nekoweenie said made me wonder. I was quite amazed when my mum said that it can't be denied that I was depressed and that I obviously had a problem the whole of last year. I never spoke to her about it and yet she knew, even though she never found out the root of the problem. Then she said that she could never quite understand why I insisted on studying arts even though I seem more comfortable with logic-based or methodical subjects. Made me wonder why I did too. It's kind of true you know. Just look at my 'O'-level results. Then when I told Nekoweenie about it, she said why not go study something like mass communications? Popular culture and science technology all mashed together.

I'm amazed at how other people can know me better than I know myself. I always thought myself as some kind of artsy fartsy person. But I'm really just a geek inside. Even Jemalelinh knows it without my having to say it. But then you know a lot about me without my having to say it Jemalelinh.. :p I'm a mixed breed I guess. Hahaha... Anyhow I've been looking at Monash and Curtin Techological University. My mum seems to like Monash a lot. Though Curtin's got something called Internet Studies and surprise surprise, it's actually a Bachelor of Arts. Talk about cross-faculty discipline. But I haven't really made up my mind. I might still decide to go back to studying the life sciences like bio or chem. I should decide quickly though since most foundation courses in Australia start in Feb and so do the diploma courses in Monash College (which will allow me to go straight into second year at Monash Uni). And yet... I'd like to just stay in Singapore a while longer. So here's hoping for the best.

I hope.

"Why Must We Keep Fighting?"

Went to watch this Japanese sci-fi movie called "Casshern" with Nekoweenie today. I must say that I was very entertained. We both were. We were giggling almost throughout the whole movie. Not because the movie sucked or anything but more because the direction of the movie was just one big anime cliche. Seriously it was like watching an anime with live people instead of 2D characters.

Some typical sci-fi/fantasy anime characteristics:
- alternate future where the world's atmosphere is severely damaged and mutants/aliens/cyborgs/robots are taking over the world and humans have courageously managed to overcome all odds to fight and survive.

- Wars and battles all over the place between humans and mutants/aliens/cyborgs

- Enigmatic scientist who comes up with some wonderful new way of saving the human race.

- He usually later turns out to be slightly mad as well.

- Poor estranged son of the enigmatic mad scientist who also happens to be the hero of the story.

- Heroine that everyone will fall in love with and who believes deeply in the good of everyone and will eventually be the deciding factor in the battle of good vs evil.

- Enigmatic bad guy who only wants the end of humanity as we know it. In most cases we find out later that he's not all that bad, just pushed to the edge due to heart-wrenching circumstances.

- Bumbling/dense henchman of Enigmatic Bad Guy who is actually very kind-hearted, just on the wrong side due to unfortunate circumstances. Sometimes turns out to be the most insightful character despite having fewer brain cells.

- Hot sexy dominatrix who kicks ass, especially if the ass is male. Usually has little to say and absolutely loyal to Enigmatic Bad Guy. Doesn't question his motives.

- Hot sexy bad guy who kicks ass, any ass. Also doesn't say much. Second-in-command to Enigmatic Bad Guy and also very loyal. Also tends to tread the line between good and evil.

Heh. Ok. Must stop. If I say anymore then this post would be just one big spoiler and I might as well just tell you the whole story. Not that I haven't already nearly done so. When I said the movie was just one big anime cliche, i mean it is one big anime cliche. But I suppose if you consider that it is based on a very old anime that ran during the 1970s, you could say the director is actually staying true to the story.

That's not to say that the movie was a terrible one. After you finish sniggering at the cliches you realize that it's actually quite good when you put it all into context. Very entertaining and actually very very thought provoking. The title of this post is actually a line that the heroine says somewhere in the middle of the show. Although it may have been unintended (and since the original story was thought of so long ago, I believe it is so), there are numerous parallels that you can draw to the state of the world that we live in today. Stem cell issues, mindless wars, racism, religious discrimination and religious fanatism, environmental issues, our growing dependency on technology... The list goes on my friends. It's also a cinematographic achievement. Like "Sky Captain", this film was made almost entirely on a CGI background with a live action cast. Only certain sets and props were real. Apparently there's some debate going on about who did it first but I don't really know the details. Right now I am currently quite in love with the Hot Sexy Second-in-Command, Barashin (the actor's name is Kaname Jun 要潤). So hot. I seem to have this bad habit of falling in love with characters that are standing on the edge. Hehehe... I want to go and buy the soundtrack. The songs inside quite quite cool.

So do I recommend this movie? Yes, actually, I do. I thought it was quite worth it. Although my only advice would be not to watch this movie with live-action movie expectations. Go watch it as an anime, and it will blast you away.

Cool trailer: http://www.apple.com/jp/quicktime/trailers/casshern_large.html
Trailer translation:

http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2004/0-9ABC/Casshern/trailer-page.html

In Case You Haven't Noticed...

I added a small section to the side bar called "Daily Snow". This is for me to put down my thought for the day or just a random shout out if I don't really have anything to post. Now that the holidays have started I doubt I will have much to blog about. My life is that exciting. So happening hor. Tch.

I was looking at my teeth and the dentist was right. I do have big teeth. Good. Can bite people harder next time. Hahaha.. Yes yes... I'm talking about my wisdom teeth. The dentist gave them back to me and they've been sitting on my table. My mother suggusted soaking them in bleach or hydrogen peroxide to preserve them. Just for the heck of it. Heheh.. Trouble is that one of them is in bits. One big bit and 3 little bits. That's the lower one that he had to drill before he could yank it out. He actually told me to glue it back. -_-'" I'm looking at the pieces and I can't quite figure out where each piece goes... Tooth jigsaw... Hmm...

Egads... I'm actually writing a post about my already extracted wisdom teeth. Writing about the process of extraction is one thing. I'm writing about teeth that are now sitting on my table and looking at me. I seriously need to get out of the house and do something. I'm such a sloth.

Epitome of Miserable-ness

The past few days, I have been utterly miserable. Today I am MISERABLE.

My lower right side gums started to get really sore around Thursday and by the weekend it was so painful I could barely open my mouth. So today I went down to the dentist and as expected it was my wisdom tooth causing problems. What I didn't expect was that the upper wisdom tooth was aggravating the problem so that had to go as well. I was actually supposed to make another appointment for the surgery but as it so happened, one of the other patients suddenly postponed her appointment so I could do it today. So I had both my right side wisdom teeth removed and so the right side of my face is now numb and swollen. Actually the anaesthsia is starting to wear off so it's starting to hurt a bit. Ok. More than a bit.

Anyhow. The surgery itself was quite ok. Injected my jaw was loads of anaesthesia and it was numb within seconds. The upper wisdom tooth came out easily enough. He actually managed to yank it out whole. The lower one had to be drilled into bits before he could pick out the pieces. Then after that he gave them to me and told me to go home and glue it back together... -_-"' So diao-ded.

So I am going to be the most miserable person in the world today. Forgive me if I snap at anyone. I don't handle pain very well.

On an interesting note? After I took a dental X-ray, the dentist showed me something quite curious... I apparently have an extra but undeveloped tooth buried in my lower gum near my incisors... Wonder why it's there.. Maybe I'm one of those people who had an undeveloped twin.... O_o

Random Thoughts

Who is the fool and who is the wiseman?
One who acts the fool or one who claims the wiser?

Religion: As an abstract concept it can be amazingly simple. But sometimes it seems too simple not be abstract.


*ahem* Once again let me emphasize that these thoughts and everything else on my blog are my own opinions. You don't have to agree with them and you don't have to give any response either. Especially if your response turns out to be some kind of flaming. I'm not promoting my ideas nor do I insist that my opinions are the absolute truth. I'm just voicing out whatever's in my head. So it's not really your place to tell me that what I think is absolutely wrong either.

Mini-Reunion

Just came back from dinner with some of the guys from my JC class. Yee Sen, Lionel, Stuart and Ahmed. It was quite fun seeing them again. We ate about $85 worth of Marche and then went over to Bakers Inn at One Fullerton to have dessert and coffee. And that was another $53. Damn expensive. I'm very very poor now. But I must say that the warm chocolate cake is VERY nice. Except that it's the smallest cake I've ever seen. It was smaller than a can of tuna. Anyhow there was some catching up. But in the end a lot of the conversations turned into a remember this remember that and - boys being boys - talk about games, consoles, LAN, etc. And of course Stuart going on and on about how great Sydney is but insisting that he wasn't going to migrate. Would've liked to hear more about how all their lives have been so far. I mean except for Ahmed whom I see every now and then in NUS, I haven't seen the others since we graduated from JC.

In case any of you are wondering, I was never close to the girls in my class, which is why this little dinner consisted of the 4 guys and me. SB3 back then, if you want to put it really generally, was split into two. The half that Kelly Koh (my GP teacher) couldn't stand (i.e. spoilt, brainless, bengs, lians or jocks. A fine example would be V. Pang. *pui*) and the half that got along just fine with him (the MEP gang, half the boys in the class and me). Yes... Sad though it may be... I was the only girl in a group of boys. Except for Chun Rui but she was always more of the MEP gang. So yah. No matter what the class did, ultimately we always split into the two halves. Even during prom. And I always ended up hanging out with the guys. And it was fun! The first time those idiots brought me LAN gaming was damn hilarious. How the hell would I know how to play Counter Strike??? I "landed" and immediately got lost in the map. Nuts.

Just for the record, it's not "Veetwo and her boys". I'm just one of the guys. Aronwy declared that it's the same thing over MSN and I insisted that it's not. Even though she conceded in the end i don't think she was really convinced. And really I'm just lazy to explain it over MSN which is why I'm writing it in my blog, so don't take any offence Aronwy. It is NOT the same to me. "My boys" would mean like I take care of them, look after them or vice versa, or something to that extent. It's not the case at all! We were friends and buddies and we were all just part of the gang. But that's just MY opinion. MY view on the matter. MY way of defining things. I'm not saying your definition or your opinion is wrong but that doesn't make my point of view any less correct. Whether or not it was your intention - which I don't think it was. It just came out wrong - it sounded like you were pushing your views on me. And this isn't the first time it's happened.

So just a word of advice, for everyone who reads this blog - you need to be careful with the opinions and beliefs of other people. Even your friends. Actually it should be ESPECIALLY your friends. Every individual will have their own mindset. Their own POVs and their own way of thinking. RESPECT that. Just because someone thinks differently from you doesn't mean you can't be their friend. And just because someone IS your friend doesn't mean that they have to think exactly or even remotely like you. Friendship, or any other relationship, is based on love, understanding and mutual respect. Opinions and beliefs should not stand in the way of a potentially important relationship. So yes. Respect other people's beliefs, even if you can't understand it. Stay open to ideas because you never know - someone might just come up with something truly great.

But then again, that's just my opinion. Siew Mai logic if you will. ;) Cheers people.

Permanently Attached

To my chair, that is.

I have officially done nothing - absolutely NOTHING - for two whole days. Oh. Well there was the JLPT exam yesterday morning. That went fine. Except that I think I shaded one wrong circle under my registration number for one of the OASs (optical answer sheet)... But Nekoweenie says that if I wrote my name then it should still be ok... Hope so. Oh well... It's over. No point mulling over it anymore.

I can't believe I just bummed two days away sitting in front of my comp. Hmm... Actually that's not quite right either. I spent the rest of yesterday eating with my family and watching LOTR: The Two Towers Extended Edition. Then I spent today in front of my comp. And I wasn't even watching anime... Noooo... *ahem* I was.. er... *sheepishly* playing Neopets...

Just for the record, I'm not a regular neopet-er... I just go whenever I feel like it. So very often I find my pets in "dying" status. I wonder why they nvr actually "die". Hmm.. Oh well.

Having a little class gathering on Thursday. Mainly just the little gang that I was close to. Yee Sen, Ahmed, Lionel and Stuart. Yibin might come I think... Gosh... I haven't seen Lionel since I bumped into him one day in my first year, Yee Sen I haven't seen since graduation and Stuart too. To think Yee Sen used to be my best friend in JC... Hmm... Wonder if I'll have anything to say to them. Ha... Will definitely keep track of the number awkward silences that occur.

No Cure!

That's it. It is confirmed!

I have an incurable disease!!! It might be fatal. I don't know.

It's called Bummeritis. Very serious illness, Bummeritis. You can never get off your bum.

Let The Bumming Begin...

Lalala...

Exams are finally over. Except for my JLPT 4 exam which is tomorrow all the way in freaking Changi. Dunno why they have to build the Japanese school there. Anyway. Although I should be going through my tenses and verbs and particles... I'm sitting around playing Bejewelled2 and wondering whether or not to continue watching The Two Towers: Extended Edition. I was watching it this afternoon but got interrupted by my mum after an hour coz she wanted to go and see this other gym in Novena. Why are we looking at another gym when we've got Fitness First? Because trainer Danny was given the boot and he's going to the one at Novena. Apparently the Novena gym there's no obligation to join as a member even if you make use of the personal trainer services, unlike most gyms. And it's much cheaper. But to tell the truth I'd rather stay in Fitness First and take up training with Shane again. Yes.. Shane is back. He's left all the work to his business partner and come back to the gym to slack around and spread some more peranakan oiliness. But I feel bad for Danny sia. He's really actually quite a nice guy. A bit duh.. But he's nice.

Back to the current bumming. Heh. I watched the EE version of Fellowship of The Ring yesterday. That's why wanted to watch Two Towers today. Hehehe... Can't wait for Return of The King EE to come out. Woooo!! I still think Sean Astin deserves Best Supporting Actor. Sean Bean is good too!! Hee!!! Beanie Baby!! I just thought of that. REALLY!! Anyway... Elijah Wood sucks. HE CAN'T ACT!!!! *pui* Why they had to cast him as Frodo, I can't understand. Bah. Made him look weak. In the book he's not that weak. INJUSTICE!!! Down with Elijah Wood!!! Pah.

Really doesn't feel like I'm having an international exam tomorrow. Feel very slack about it. So nonchalant hor. Hahaha... Sigh... I might even forget to go.. Got that kind of feeling. Hahaa... No no... I WILL go... Don't worry. The question is how to get there. Apparently the only bus service there is SBS2 and the nearest MRT station is Tanah Merah but you still need to take a cab after that. Sucks. Can't get the parental units to send me coz my mum is taking part in some funny charity run and my dad's chauffering her. Sigh. What to do what to do...

Survived!

Ahha... Yes.. I went for my paper, crapped out 3 essays that were all concluded rather hastily coz seriously it is madness to have to write 3 essays in just 2 hours. Especially for the last one... I didn't realize I was running out of booklet until I was down to the last 10 lines on the page and decided to flip over to see how many pages I had left. There were no pages left!!!! But by then it was like 3 minutes to the end so I decided "Heck!!" and just wrote the most hasty conclusion which is practically no conclusion at all.. Haha.

Yes, about the previous post. Sorry if I scared anyone. Basically during stress times you will see a lot of that... I tend to get very depressed. But if I actually whine and gripe about it it's not so bad. If I know myself (which if I don't even just a little, that would be quite sad.), it's most dangerous when I'm stressed/depressed and I DON'T talk about it. Think that's what happened last year. I shut up a lot about my problems and just let myself get drowned by all of them. Anyhow. Come Thursday the doom/gloom should be done with. So just bear with me a while longer.

Next battle is Genes & Society on Wednesday and then Japan & China on Thursday. Ergh. I will just go into Genes with a dice. Wahahaha...

Failing Will

My willpower is dead. Gone. Nada. Zip.

I have barely studied for my Japan and Asia Pacific, give or take a couple of readings I did 10 thousand years ago that I can barely remember and the few paragaraphs I've just read.

I want to quit. This is like the 1 millionth time I've said those exact words. Mostly I say it but then continue to trudge through the mud and the fire. Usually I survive, barely sometimes. Last year I really did quit and I come thisclose to self-destruction. This year... I fought. Sort of. I fought and I came to this point. And now I wanna quit again.

I know what all of you are thinking - WAT? That would be so wasted!! Don't be daft!! Don't give up!!! Don't be so stupid!! You're so close!!! Ganbatte!!! BANZAI!!!!

People... You're forgetting that this is someone who has got absolutely no focus in her life and who is quite known for running away everytime some great obstacle or conflict comes her way. I have no willpower. Despite what appearances may say and what some people might think, I'm not that strong in the end.

Well... Looks like it's going to be one of those times when I end up disappointing everyone in my life. Again. Sorry about that folks. Thanks for all the love though.

Sickening...

Exams are *PUI*!!!

Third paper tomorrow... Japan and Asia Pacific. Apparently the rumour goes that he will focus on ODA (official development aid). Sigh.. What do I know about ODA except that China is just one big ODA leech and doesn't even give Japan due recognition for it. Pah. Stupid communists. Ah... Ignore me.. I'm ranting. I did very little today. So terrible. Slept a LOT!!! Cripes... If I can get a C for this module I'll be damn lucky already I tell you... But to stay in NUS I need a B. Well now... I guess it's time for me to start thinking about what my job options are as an expelled NUS student.

Sigh.

Life is so full of croc shit. Plus I really am falling sick. Pah..

So I'm An Idealist...

Saw the link for this personality test on Nekoweenie's blog... It's quite accurate really, except that I'm definitely not vegetarian. Was a bit surprised by the introvert part, but reading the explanation, I really think it's true.

Here's the link:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/whatamilike/index.shtml

Your Answers Suggest You Are An IDEALIST

The four aspects that make up this personality type are:

Summary of Idealists

• Make sense of the world using inner values


• Focus on personal growth and the growth of others


• Think of themselves as bright, forgiving and curious


• May sometimes appear stubborn

More about Idealists

Idealists put time and energy into developing personal values that they use as a guide through life. They may seek fulfilment by helping others improve themselves and often want to make the world a better place. Idealists only share their inner values with people they respect.

Idealists are the most likely group to say they are vegetarian, according to a UK survey.

Idealists enjoy discussions about a wide range of topics, particularly those that deal with the future. They are typically easy-going and flexible, but if their values are challenged they may refuse to compromise.

In situations where they can’t use their talents or are unappreciated, Idealists may have trouble expressing themselves and withdraw. Under extreme stress, Idealists may become very critical of others, or lose confidence in their own ability to cope.

Recognition for their work is important to Idealists; however, they are also good at spotting false praise.

Idealist Careers

Idealists are often drawn to jobs where they can help people reach their potential. They are also attracted to careers that allow artistic creativity.

WOAH!!!

Went for a 1 1/2 hour flamenco workshop just now (dun worry.. studied in school with Nekoweenie for about 4,5 hours before that.) at Dance Circles. It was being led by Deanna Blacher, our examiner and also the founder of the Spanish Dance Institute. This also makes her the person who wrote the syllabus that Nekoweenie and I are dancing to. (O_O)

Gosh this woman is simply fantastic! No wonder she's the founder I tell you. Goodness... I felt so embarrassed as a someone TRYING to be a flamenco student. Crap!! I only managed to somewhat understand the alegrias rhythm AFTER the class. Even now I can only do it slowly.

12-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12...

Then got variation also...

12-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12...

(O_O)
Mindboggling. Even Angel got a bit thrown off by all of us off-beat students and she was still going steady on the cajones (square box drum). Confirm add her to my list of heroes...

1 Down 4 To Go... 5 If You Count JLPT

Haven't blogged for a little while. Was supposed to refrain from blogging until after the exams but I am super sian of studying Japanese Marketing now.

Haven't told you guys what happened during my American Law exam have I?

At first it was all good. I wasn't even nervous when I went in. And when I looked at the questions I kinda knew immediately which ones I wanted to do and sort of knew which reading materials to use for it. Basically I knew what the damned questions wanted. Then as I was about to start writing, my stomach decided to have a horrendous stomachache so I had to sign out to go the the toilet. I have no idea what gave me diarrhea that morning but I lost 30min that day and ended up writing only 1 1/2 essays instead of 2. So pissed. The one exam that I cld've done quite ok in and I had to have diarrhea. Sucks.

Then on Sunday was my flamenco exam. Screwed that up big time too. Went in relatively calm but the moment I made one mis-step I tensed up and everything went downhill from there. Bet you the examiner couldn't hear my palleos. Saw her writing fervently during my palleos second exercise. Worst was the syllabus dance. Was ok ok ok, then at the last 1/4 of the dance, missed a bar and came in late. Dammit. Rose, Tania and Nekoweenie kept saying it's ok coz at least I still managed to keep to the beat and still ended properly. But I felt so bad... Tania tried as much as possible to help me catch up after missing 6 weeks. And Angel had such high hopes for my class. And I DID practice at home... I actually managed to do it about 90% perfect in the revision classes... But come to the crunch and BOOM. 50% performance. Sucks...

Sigh.. Next paper on Saturday... Sian.. Dun wanna study. Bah.

The Sound of Music

Haha... Must be something about me and the word "sound" this week. Earlier posted "The Most Beautiful Sound" by Jaycee Chan and this today's entry is all about sound!!! Well... Actually just about certain things that make sound sound better.

I have new speakers!! Courtesy of *cough cough**AHEM!!!* SOMEBODY. :) Got them on Saturday (along with a free Sakae lunch. Wahahaha!!) and have only just set them up. With some help from me dad of course. Been testing the sound and it's just GREAT!!! My goodness... Listen to that bass will you. Wahhaha... It's a 3-piece set - 2 satellite speakers and 1 sub-woofer with treble and bass controls. Heheheh... And they look classy to boot! Black and dark silver. Heeeeeee!!!

Here are the specifications, right off the box:

Sonic Gear - Sonicpower P320
Output power: 1100 Watts

Subwoofer:
- Bass reflex design
- Continuous power: 18 watts RMS
- Frequency response: 50Hz - 120Hz
- 4" low frequency driver
- Dimensions (W x H x D): 347 x 362 x 180mm
- Weight: 4.7kg

Satellites:
- Enclosed cabinet design
- Continuous power: 2 x 5 watts RMS
- Frequency response: 150Hz - 18kHz
- 2 x 3" full-range driver
- Speaker impedance: 4 ohm

Other Features & Characteristics:
- Power On/Off switch and indicator
- Bass, treble and master volume control
- S/N ratio: > 80 dB
- Distortion: < 1% THD (std 300mA peak-to-peak source)

Yes yes. And 'twas quite a good buy too! Wasn't it? ;) It is a very very nice belated (x10) 20th birthday present. Thank you! :D

Ow!! My Heartstrings!!

Just finished reading Eskie's blog and suddenly realized how much I miss the block and the hall. I mean, ok, so last year was quite a shitty year for me... But there were fun times as well and there were people I cared about and I'm hoping there were people who cared about me too. For some stupid reason I even miss that buaya lizard Yow calling me a Mummy Lizard. For goodness sakes! Makes me sound like I'm running some lizard cabaret... Went back a couple of times and found so many faces I didn't recognize, which is quite understandable I suppose. But it makes me wonder if I'm still remembered by the older seniors there. I know Eskie will roll her eyes and bonk me on the head when I say this but sometimes I even wonder if I was ever really a part of the KR family in the first place. Dunno. It feels weird nowadays.

Oh... And for the record, it is NOT written in the constitution that a person must go through Command before he/she can be recognized as an alumni of the hall. I read through the damn thing and no where is it written in black and white. It doesn't even say that you have to graduate while still a resident of the hall. So basically if you've stayed in the hall at least a year (or I think even just one sem), you can be considered alumni. CERTAIN idiots - at least 2 of them - told me it was part of the constitution. They even insisted on it. Hmph. And people (read: Master and some others.. but mainly Master) wonder why KR doesn't have a strong alumni base. Well, if your own JCRC (past AND present... well... I dunno about the newest 04/05 batch... but they better read up) can just anyhow quote the Constitution, you really got fat hope at cultivating lasting feelings.

Don't get me wrong. I am bitter about the whole "you-never-go-through-command-therefore-you're-not-alumni" thing, I admit. But I really still do miss the place. I did stay there.. No, I LIVED there for 2 years. That's got to mean something. Right?

Another Song Translation

Heh... I'm such a slacker...

最动听
歌：Jaycee 房祖名

昨天晚上我又梦见你
在梦里我看见很美的东西
可能是在睡前想过你
才会梦见你

在梦里我常常寻寻觅觅
寻找着你
是梦而已

在现实里我曾经问过自己
是否爱你
还是个游戏

我想要看见你的眼睛
听见你的声音
不管多小声
我会用心地听

不管多小声多小声
我也会用心用意在意地听

我想要看见你的眼睛
听见你的声音
不管多小声
我会用心地听

不管多小声多小声
因你的声音
在我心
是最为动听

Translation:

The Most Beautiful Sound
Jaycee Chan

Last night I dreamt of you again.
In my dream I saw many beautiful things.
Maybe I thought of you before I slept,
So I dreamt of you.

In my dream
I searched everywhere，
Looking for you.
It was just a dream.

In reality I once asked myself
Do I really love you?
Or is it just a game?

I want to look into your eyes
And I want to hear your voice.
No matter how soft, I will listen carefully.

No matter how small. No matter how little.
I will listen with all of my heart.

I want to look into your eyes
I want to hear your voice.
No matter how soft, I will listen carefully.

No matter how small. No matter how little.
Because your voice -
In my heart,
It’s the most beautiful sound.

Procrastination!!

Er.. yes... Regarding the mugging... I was supposed to have started on Wednesday. Now is the end of Friday and I've barely finished one chapter of my American Law... This is terrible.. Home is just not condusive for studying.. To many distractions like my wonderful kitchen... I should migrate to the library. Rrrrrrrr...

On a more sombre note. Let us observe a moment of silence on this blog, in honour of the passing of a truly heroic man...

Gorobei-san, we shall always remember you as one of the bravest of the Seven Samurai. Rest in peace. *bows respectfully*

Last One Today...

Ok... I have to admit that this one was quite comforting. :) And it kinda made me realize that I actually do have friends who truly appreciate me for what I am, and it wouldn't even matter if I was fat or ugly or an absolute bitch... So to all my friends, thanks for being my friends. (^_^)


B:

Your Beauty lies
in Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl next
door. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actually
very beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more that
lets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may come
and go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simple
things and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things most
consider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendly
and probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,
but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-rounded
individual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug it
off because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:
Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile

Gemstone:
Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Sign:
Tauros Planet: Jupiter Hair Color:
Light Brown Eye Color:
Brown

Quote:
"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

Again and Again!

Your ordinary. You don't care if people think your
weird or not pretty. You just want everyone to
know your not a creep. Your just yourself which
makes you cool in a cool way:)


What Type Of Girl Are You???(Amazing Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok... So I have established that I am normal and ordinary... I suppose that's something to celebrate...

Quiz!! Again!

You're Normal. What is lacking in popularity you
make up in sweetness. You like school and
sometimes like a sport or two. Your life is
busy, you should be a doctor. Please rate my
quiz you are suppose to it is normal?

The Ultimate Personality Quiz (PRETTY PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

OMG!! I'm NORMAL???? There must be some mistake... WHAT SWEETNESS?? I LIKE SCHOOL?? SPORTS???? Doctor of what??? Insanity?? (~_~)"'

OVER!! IT'S ALL OVER!!!

I have finally handed up my Japan & China essay.

I finished typing and printing out by 5.30pm, hopped on a cab by 5.40pm and was in school by 6.10pm. I dropped off at AS7 and FLEW all the way up the stairs towards AS4. Then the Moose (in all his furry glory... He had taken off his shirt and was gallavanting around in his undershirt...) comes down the stairs from AS4. He saw me and he was like, "Hey! It's you!! " And we were going "Hahaha" over goodness knows what... So I gave him my essay and that was it. It was all over in 5min.

And now I'm in AS7 stoning away coz my dad refuses to pick me up and I'm too zombified to go home myself... I might get lost. No I don't want to take another cab because I just spent $11.60 on one.

OMG... I spent $11.60 just for 5min in school.... Dammit.. No paper should be worth so much... Whahahahhaha... But I'm glad it's over. Can relax a bit before muggin for exams. Thanx to all who prayed for me!! :D:D:D

Ice Cream!!

Hehehehehehe...

I went and visited the new 7-Eleven that opened just behind my house. Just a fence away. Wahaha... No Ben & Jerry's though.. But I suppose King's Choco-Mint Chip will have to do for now. Whahahahaa...

*madness prevails*

Introducing...

*Ahem* Er... I actually thought of this about a few weeks ago. When I was er... ranting. You might remember the whole saga. Anyway I only just got down to writing it. And it's my first attempt at lyrical writing in CHINESE. So *cough* forgive me if you see any funny Chinese. My cheena vocab is very limited. Anyhow, must give a BEEG BEEG "Thank You" to Shuhui!! She actually took the time to go through my nonsense and helped me edit it. Wahaha... If I ever become famous I will make sure to insist that the agency that is crazy enough to sign me on hires you as well ok? Wahahah!! Anyway...

Here's the err... Song? Poem? Whatever... Lyrics.

安全网
By Veetwo aka 温素媚
Edited by Shuhui (^_^)v

为何我是安全网？
在你心中
到底我算什么？
认识你都两年半，
你脑袋真的那么厚？

从朋友开始的感情，
总觉得还缺了些什么。
后来发觉—喜欢你。
却你始终不觉悟。

继续当你好朋友
听你分忧，为你加油。
久而久之才发现—
做朋友太辛苦了。

无忧时就到处跑，
伤心失望就靠着我。
或许对你太心软，
现在觉得
你的忧虑好沉重。

不想再做安全网
永远支撑不让你跌。
都快要崩溃了
心也慢慢沉没了。
却还得为始终不了解的你
继续做个安全网。

这安全网快破裂了
不能珍惜就放过我。
喜欢你，却受不了
永远当个候补角色。

不想再做安全网。
为何我是安全网？
永远支撑，不让你跌。

©Veetwo 2004

I'm Krypton???

According to The Periodic Table Horoscope , I'm Krypton which incidentally has the scientific-I-forgot-what-it's-called name of KR. Hmm. What is it with me and the letters "KR"?? Whaha.. Anyway this is what it says:

Krypton, you appear as a colourless gas at 298 K, but despite this, your colourful personality and lively wit will win you many admirers this week. You will have a brief flirtation with fame, but is everything as it initially appears? Beware the Ides of March - all through the year. There may be moments when you are tempted to settle down with someone you don't truly love. Remember: Solid krypton is a white crystalline substance with a face-centered cubic structure, not anyone's second-choice date. Be true to yourself. Wash behind your ears. Stand up straight, for god's sake.

Let's dissect this point by point:
1) You appear as a colourless gas - Could mean that I need a tan. Which is true! I'm in desperate need of one.. I'm so pasty now.
2) your colourful personality and lively wit will win you many admirers this week. - It's already the end of the week! Where are my #&^%$ admirers??? Whahaha...
3) You will have a brief flirtation with fame - Huh? Fame for? Being the most stoned person in NUS at the moment?
4) Beware the Ides of March - all through the year - In the first place, the Ides of March only happens once a year - IN MARCH. (Note: according to the Roman calendar, each month has an Ides. But there is only ONE Ides of March.) Incidentally, Julius Caesar was supposed to have been assassinated on the Ides of March... Sooo... Are you trying to tell me something?? Haha..
5) There may be moments when you are tempted to settle down with someone you don't truly love - Errr.... Who ah? *shush Jemalelinh!!*
6) Solid krypton is a white crystalline substance with a face-centered cubic structure - So I'm square... and in desperate need for a tan.
7) not anyone's second-choice date - At the moment I'm not even anyone's first-choice date... :p

Yes... So aside from the horrific need for a tan, I will conclude that this horoscope is totally baseless and absolute nonsense and should only be used for purely entertainment purposes. Hmm... Actually I think that's what the author of the horoscope said... Oh well... Laugh on people.

God's Grace. And A New Perspective.

Last night I got so desperate that I e-mailed the Moose at 11.30pm to ask for an extension. I didn't have very high hopes though. I thought he'd turn me down immediately and refuse to mark my paper. So I prayed. And Jemalelinh and Nekoweenie prayed for me too. But this morning when I didn't see any reply, I thought it was all over. He wasn't even going to bother answering my inanely stupid request. So I just went over my material again, typed a bit and went to bake a cake for Felie's party tonight. Then at about 5.15pm, I opened my mailbox to confirm that the party was tonight and to look for a time (there wasn't... -_-") and behold! A reply from Moose. I took a deep breath... clicked.

I couldn't believe my eyes!!! He gave me the extension and he was REALLY nice about it! I was so shocked!! I thought that even if he gave me the extension he'd be nasty about it but he wasn't! He was really really nice!! Here's the e-mail exchange, starting with mine:

Dear Dr. S.,

First of all I want to apologise for e-mailing so late as I have been working desperately on the essay. However, to tell you the truth I have serious doubts about whether I can finish it in time, even if I were to hand in a hard copy by tomorrow morning. This is due to fault on my part entirely. Besides this paper, I had three other deadlines to meet which fell around the same time. Due to some very terrible time management, I ended up over-indulging in the first two papers and found myself pressed for time for the remaining ones.

I do not wish to hand in a sub-standard paper to you and therefore humbly ask if you would be kind enough to allow for a slight extension. I realize that the current situation is entirely my responsibility and will fully understand if you turn down my request or severely mark down my grade.

Thank you so much for your understanding and please accept my sincerest apologies.

Yours Sincerely
Van Su Mei
U02****N

The reply:

Van Su Mei,

If your paper is for me, not Professor Terada, I am happy to give you an extension without penalty to Monday (any time Monday). If you are not well or are very busy on Monday, I might consider waiting until Tuesday.

Dr S.

GOODNESS!!! Can you believe it??? This is the guy who's got an agenda against "abusers" of the English language and believes that all Singaporean students can't write proper English. God's grace is truly wonderful. Thank you Jemalelinh and Nekoweenie for praying for me. Your prayers and your friendship came through so clearly in my time of desperation. And I now have a totally new impression of the Moose! Maybe he's not just a stinking moose... Maybe like Nekoweenie suggests, he's a Fuzzy Furry Moose... (^_^)

Exhaustion

I can't write anymore. I'm so tired. I'm never going to make 2000 words by 8 am to hand in by 10am. I'll never make it. I'm so tired. I can't write anymore. I want to stop. Can I just stop? Please... I'll never make it.

The Price of Idiocy

Sigh. I haven't started any of my essays. Going to start now, of course. I just wanted to write this down first.

Earlier this evening, around 8pm, my mum just came home and she went upstairs to change. My sis had also only just got home and was doing goodness-knows-what on the computer. I don't know exactly what she said to my mother but it really pissed my mum off, coz I heard her yell that if my sis doesn't start studying, she'll pull my sis out of ACJC (which might not be an entirely bad idea. :p). But then when she comes down and sees me, she yells at me too, saying that my sis and I are exactly the same - Insisting on studying Theatre Studies when "you don't even know how write an essay!!". And I hadn't even said a thing... I couldn't understand why she brought up the TS issue coz it hasn't been an issue since I entered NUS 2 years ago. Still the essay remark struck hard. I really wanted to say something, but I didn't. I kept quiet, ate my dinner, went upstairs to my room, blasted the radio and locked the door.

Then I snapped. I started crying, threw some stuff around the room and decided (very childishly) that I would refuse to write my remaining two essays. After all, I don't know how to write essays right? So I won't. I won't write them, won't hand them in, I'll fail the bloody modules and get kicked out of bloody NUS and we'll see what my mother has to say after that. So I surfed, watched anime, binged (chocolate chips, a whole lot of chips and some bun) , watched TV... Basically I stubbornly did everything except work on my essays.

I finally cooled down. Around 2am. So now I'm even more pressed for time, because I threw a stupid tantrum over another tantrum. Such an idiot. Now I'm not even sure I can finish a 2-page essay for Genes & Society by 5pm, much less a 2000-word essay for Japan-China by Sat 10am. Sigh.

Silver Sliver

Don't I mean Silver Silver? No. Sliver. You know?? REALLY thin strip? Sliver. Ok... So don't I mean Silver Lining?? Nope. Sliver.

Mel Fann just called me to tell me that the Moose has "extended" our Japan & China deadline to Saturday morning if we're handing up a hard copy of the paper. I suppose it beats Friday 5pm. But seriously, who the HELL is going to wake up on a Saturday morning to hand up a f***ing paper by 9am??? I'll bet you the fat arse isn't even going to wake up until at least 10am himself. So why should anyone wake up 3 hours earlier then him just coz he says so??? Rrrrrrrrrrr... I'm sure moose is a regular meat in Canada or Finland or something... Roast him. But I suppose Jemalelinh is right... A small extension is better than none. Hence it is only a silver sliver of hope. No such thing as silver linings in my life. Bah.

Wanna know what I think is even more ridiculous? If we're handing in hard copies it's due Saturday morning. BUT! If we're handing in SOFT copies, it's due midnight tomorrow!! Waaat?? I don't understand. I don't understand it at all. Stupid Moose. Probably has the equivalent IQ of an actual moose anyhow. Combined with the fact that he's a male (somehow calling him a man seems like an insult to men, and that's saying a lot considering that I hate men at the moment) ... This guy doesn't stand a chance.

Mark of a Genius?

OH!!! One more thing. Remember the Genes & Society online assesment that I finished in 5minutes? I got the results back. And I have scored full marks.

Wahahahaha!!!

Bow to my immense superiority!! AGAIN!!! Wahahahah!!!

*no more screws to lose*

2nd One Down

Once again I have managed to survive an evil term paper and no longer have anything to do with it whatsoever. Whoever invented the notion of term papers should be shot and tortured and shot again.

The one that was just handed up was for Japan & Asia-Pacific Region. I love Japan, but I hate regional studies esp in terms of politics. Bah. Well.. That's over. Now in the Central Library waiting for Jemalelinh. I wonder if she'll find me before the scrap neutrons of my wasted brains turn radioactive and cause the rest of me to disintegrate into a puddle of goo on the floor. CL people will have a hell of a time killing up though... seeing as how the floors are carpeted. Wahahahahahaa...

Next war in line is with 2 essays simultaneously!! Both due on the same day. Bah.. Friday 5pm. In totally opposite faculties. Genes & Society and Japan & China. Zzzzzzz...

I will officially not be sleeping until Saturday. And then I shall proceed to fall into a coma until Monday. My brain is protesting like nobody's business. How to do two essays like that?? How? How?!? HOW???!!!

Product Quality = Product Loyalty

That's it. Never again will I use paper other than Double A paper.

No wonder goods manufacturers are so insistent on multiple quality checks. Assurance of consistent top quality products is THE best way to gain product loyalty among consumers.

I gave up on a-one paper a long time ago because the paper was just too light and multiple pieces kept getting caught in my printer feeder resulting in uneven prints or double sided prints with inconsistent page numbers and oft times a whole lot of wasted prints. Not to mention a big waste of precious precious HP ink (only because it's super expensive). Hence I started using Double A.

IT WAS PERFECT! It was heavy enough so there were no more multiple feeds, and it was thicker too. So It didn't look too flimsy when I had to print out term papers and the such.

Today I ran out of paper again. So I walked down to Popular@Thomson Plaza to go buy some. BUT!! Popular doesn't stock Double A paper!!! So disgusting. Or maybe it's just this particular branch. In any case, I walked out and went upstairs to Best Denki instead, thinking that an electronics specialty store might have a larger range of printing supplies. Turns out they were a bit too specialized... I could only find HP multipurpose printing paper. But I think, "Ok. It IS HP afterall. And the packaging does say that it's suited for deskjet printers. Quality shouldn't be a problem." So I bought a ream and went home. As I ripped the packaging apart and took out some paper, I could just FEEL the thinness. But still I thought, "Hey! It's HP. How bad can it get?"

Very bad, apparently. As I started printing out some material for my JS paper, the same old problem occurred. Freak. Wasted ink and wasted paper. Again! And with what is supposed to be a very established brand!!! Bah. So much for quality products.

Therefore... *raises right hand* I hereby swear my absolute loyalty to Double A paper.

Brain Dead

Done. I have finished.

One term paper. But hey!! That's one less paper to do!!! It was my American Law paper. Was writing it until about 8am and then I had to organize my biblios... I finally printed out the bloody thing at like 10.30am. Then I realized that I'd forgotten to add in one reference... But heck it. It was a minor one anyhow. And I can't be bothered to do anything else to the thing. I just wanna sleep. But I'm in school now waiting for Mich Chang to come along and finish hers, so we can read each other's essays before we finally hand it up to Chng Chuan Hoon. ZZZ... After this is lunch with Pukey at 2pm. Can I even survive until then? I think I'll just collapse along one of the corridors in arts. And no one will ever find me!! EEEEEEEE!!!!! .... That might be a good thing though... Coz if I'm missing then I wouldn't have to write anymore term papers rite?

*proceeds to lose a few more screws*

I Hate Kids

Wat the F***???

My sister's silly project group members just asked me if I could pose as "an imposing authoritative mother figure" for a picture to use in their project. What the F***???? And they didn't want to just wait for my sister to finish her tuition!? OMG. I tell you kids nowadays are just SOOOOOOOO irritating!

Hallo! My door is closed so obviously I DON'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED!! 4 TERM PAPERS!!! HALLO!!! Fine. Just now I did help them to find drawing block paper.. But that doesn't mean they should push the envelope!!! OMG!!! My sister is sooo going to get it... Ok well.. It's not entirely her fault. It's just her friends. BUT they are HER friends. IN OUR HOUSE. Learn the rules you incessantly babbling little shits.

I hate kids. BAH!!

WAR!!! (or not...)

FREAAK!! The weather is super nice for snoozing now.. But I need to write my FOUR TERM PAPERS!!! EEEEEEEKKK!!! Somebody save me!!! The weather is declaring war on me and my papers!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Sleep...

TERM PAPER!!!

Sleeeeep.....

TERM PAPER!!!!

SLEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!

TERM PAPERS!!!!

SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!

TERM PAPER!!! TERM PAPER TERM PAPER TERM PA...Perrrrssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

*flails helplessly*

"Half Pain" by Bana (Witch Hunter Robin)

覚えてか？この歌はあなたがくれた...覚える？

Half Pain
Witch Hunter Robin (End Theme)
Singer: Bana

例えば 何処まで 戻れば好い？
教えて。
全ては痛みを伴うほど鮮やか。

本当は
分け合えるものなんてないから、
振り返らなかった。

Fall into a light sleep 私に満ちる。
I don’t carry out 約束はやがて。
いつかの輝き捨てた
返れない朝の光のよう。

冷たい心のそばにいる世凍えて、
続きは拒めないらいほら浅はか。

着つかずにかけた感情
拾い集めて許しを求めたら。

Fall into a light sleep 一人の夜に、
I’m beginning to learn 悲しみの仕組み。
あなたの温もり隠し
溢れ出たその闇に怯える。

Fall into a light sleep 私に満ちる。
I don’t carry out 約束はやがて。
いつかの輝き捨てた返れない朝の光のよう。

Translation (From Animelyrics.com)

How far back should I have to go?
Tell me.
Everything is so painfully vivid.

The truth is -
We couldn't understand each other,
So I left and didn't look back.

Fall into a light sleep, it encompasses my very being
I never carry out my promises
So long ago, I threw away my brightness
And like the light from the morning sun, it can never return.

It lies beside this cold heart, frozen
So completely mindless that it persists forever

Numbly, I gather the remnants of my emotions,
And seek for redemption...

Fall into a light sleep, on a lonely night
I'm beginning to learn the designs of sorrow
The hiding away of your warm presence
Makes me fear the overflowing darkness.

Fall into a light sleep, it encompasses my very being
I never carry out my promises
So long ago, I threw away my brightness
And like the light from the morning sun, it can never return.

Speedy Weedy

I finished my Genes & Society online assessment in 4min 58sec. Wahahahaha!! *diabolical laughter* Bow to my immense superiority!!! WHAHAHAHAH!!!!

*Matrix-ducks all the hammers and heavy objects thrown by Jemalelihn, Aronwy and Nekoweenie who are all probably screaming at me to do my 4 term papers due next week*

Student Perk!!!

OMG!! OMGOMGOMG!!!

Did you know that as students of NUS we can actually access HUGE amounts of data from Euromonitor through the NUS library for FREE??? OMG!! And to think I spent so much time - too much - searching on the WWW for free info (most online market reports and databases have a price tag on them) when I could've just used the online databases in the NUS library!! Why didn't anyone tell me about this before??? OMG!!!

I must strive to become the nerd that I was in JC. Nerdification!!!

[Edit 5.44pm: EBSCO Research Databases too!!! OMG!!!!]

It's Sinking In

So now I know. The high that comes with retail therapy doesn't last forever. No wonder shopaholics exist. They can't let go of that feeling of elation when comes with HAVING. It's addictive. I can understand that now. Now that the numbness is starting to wear off, it hurts even more. I don't regret hooking up with Midori of course. Midori's cool and she was a good choice. But everything's just starting to register. And now that Jemalelinh has enlightened me as to exactly what's up with me, I can say... She's right. And I hate myself for feeling like this. I hate being sad. Hate being angry; being upset and I hate feeling hurt. But why the hell should I feel hurt in the first place? Do I even have that right, I wonder.

I'm starting to wonder if I owe you an apology. I'm starting to wonder if I overreacted and just used you as an excuse to vent my frustrations. I don't know if I'm feeling hurt because you can't understand it or because I can't even understand it myself. I really don't know why. That present is still in my cupboard. I don't know if I'll really just give it away but I know that it may never see the light of day again.

I'm being a git aren't I? OH PLEASE!! Just get over yourself Su Mei. ARGH!! I'm a git.

B'day Parties, Project Presentations and Retail Therapy

Horrible project presentation today. Absolutely horrible. The first two speakers from my group took so bloody long that there was practically no time to do the other 3/4 of the presentation. In the end the tutor cut us off and refused to let us continue. And he did it halfway through my already very very short segment too! I had barely spoken for 2 min... To make it more irritating, during the 2 minutes that I was talking (and I was already going at hyper-speed to make up for lost time and skipping a lot of good info) one of the initial speakers who took so long for her part kept poking me in the side to make me hurry up and kept skipping over my only 4 slides (with minimal points some more.. as compared to theirs... Bah.). So our last guy didn't even get a chance to do his part. Sad. Horrible. Argh.

On slightly brighter notes... It was Mel-Flipflat's 21st Birthday party yesterday!!! Wheeeeee!!! Was quite fun... Hung out with the Fwocers and gossiped and had very very nice catered food and very very nice homemade satay courtesy of Mel's mum! Then we also played some silly card/forfeit games that had damn farnee results and took some farnee pictures too. Hehehehe... A lot of gossip and bitching by the poolside. *evil laugh* Mel looked super super SUPER sweet in her pink dress and her new hairstyle. Combine that with the uber-pink handbag and organizer/wallet the Fwocers gave her and she was just SuperTai-Tai Mel. Whahaha...! Congrats Mel, you're on your way to becoming a full-fledged Tai-Tai! Heee!! The cake looked very pretty too!! It was a white key with... fluffy trimmings... Haha.. Dunno how it tasted though coz I had to go home to prepare for that horrible presentation. Ah well... Can do without the calories.. Keke...

OHHHH! And BEFORE the party (going in reverse chronological order here.. hmm)... Hehehehehehehehe...............

I have a "girlfriend" now. Her name's Midori and we've just embarked on a wonderful journey together. We met in Mango while I was shopping with Mel Fann after our project meeting in Millenia Walk. If I had a digital camera I'd take her photo and post it here. She's really beautiful and so warm. Brought her along to TaiTai Mel's party but she didn't socialise much. Met Felie and Mun and some of the guys but she was shy so she hid by the cupboards most of the time. I can't believe my good fortune. I've been so upset these two weeks and yesterday I was just really really down after falling out with certain people. Then Midori came along. What are the odds? Midori means green in Japanese! My fave colour and my fave culture!! *swoon* It's fate I tell you.

My blissful mood almost got flushed away when certain people suddenly showed up at the party despite saying they might not go. Was desperately avoiding contact at all costs and was starting to feel upset again. But then my darling Midori came and put her comforting arms on me. And all was right with the world again. *look of content* Introduced her to my parents just now and my mum really likes her. Yay!! People, I can tell you for sure - This is the one true relationship that I've been looking for. This one's for keeps. *floats away on a cloud*

Please Go...

Get out of my life. Just go. I don't know why I get so angry or upset at you but I don't think I can handle it. It's just annoying and very upsetting and distracting. Just leave me alone and go away. If you like, just see this as a favour to me. After all I guess it is partly my own fault. So I'm very very sorry. Really. But... Please, just go.

Worldwide Insomnia - Eason Chan

全世界失眠 - 陈奕迅
曲:陈伟 词:林夕

想起我不完美
你会不会
逃离我生命的范围

想着你的滋味
我会不会
把这个枕头变得甜美

想起白天的约会
忘了晚上的咖啡
只怕感情如潮水
远离我梦中的堡垒

一个人失眠
全世界失眠
无辜的街灯
守候明天

幸福的失眠
只是因为害怕闭上眼
如何想你想到六点
如何爱你爱到终点

想起我的时候
你会不会
好像我一样不能睡

想像你的暧昧
我会不会
数不到绵羊一双一对

如何爱你爱到终点

Translation:

Remembering how imperfect I am,
Would you run from the boundaries of my life?

Thinking of the way you smell,
Would this pillow become precious to me?

When I think of our date today,
I forget to drink my nightly coffee.
I’m just afraid my emotions will overflow
And break the fortress of my dreams.

I can’t sleep.
The whole world can’t sleep.
Unknowing streetlights await tomorrow.

Blissful insomnia.
I’m afraid to close my eyes,
’Cause then how can I think of you ’til 6am?
How can I love you ’til the end?

When you think of me,
Are you also unable to sleep?

Thinking of your ambiguity,
Does it make me unable to count sheep in pairs?

How do I love you ’til the end?

[12.18am Edit: I'm not too sure abt the counting sheep part... Any better translators? Shuhui?]

Overreaction?

Went for Jemalelinh's TS grad play last night at Black Box. "Twilight of the Golds". It was pretty good. The script was a great choice although a difficult one to do. But they managed to pull it off. Was most impressed by the guy who played the gay son (turns out he's really gay. hmm...) and Yin Mei who played the overreacting mother. The only thing I couldn't stand (besides not being able to hear one of the actors due his mumbling) was the sounds that carried over from the Fort Canning Green, where the annual ScreamFest was screening "The Eye2" and "Ginger Snaps". It was just irritating. At the most pregnant pauses in the play... "EEEEEEEEKKKK" Suddenly this scream will come out of nowhere... Spoilt the whole atmosphere...

But speaking of overreacting females... I'm wondering whether or not I'm one of them. I think - I'm still trying to decide - that I may have overreacted tonight. While I don't think I said anything cruel, I may have said some... Unnecessary things... But at the same time, isn't it customary and plain polite to first ask "Are you free on watever-day" before you ask someone to go out with you? Instead of just saying something like "I'll see you on watever-day"? Or maybe this person just... thinks differently; Or just has a different (strange) way of doing things. It wouldn't be surprising if it were so, considering... I dunno. Sigh. It just sounds so... assuming. Presumptuous even. Or maybe I really am overreacting. Sucks.

Why am I always doing this? Falling out with people at strange timings. I did it to Jemalelinh once (Remember?) and that turned out to be one of the times I most needed my friends around me. Now's not really one of those times but once again my sense of timing is just screwed. So now that "thing" is just going to sit in my cupboard and rot. I can already Jemalelinh rolling her eyes at me and semi-scolding "So you bought it for NOTHING?". Huh... Maybe I did. Maybe I'll just sell it off the next time MGS has a bazaar or if KR ever comes along doing garangguni. Nuts. I'm mad. I'm absolutely raving.

Jemalelinh, why don't I just give it to you? I'm sure D needs it more. *slouches off to a corner*

The Killing Thirst

This bites...

Here I am in the NUS Central Library and I find myself dying of thirst and with NO water bottle. Of all days I decide not to bring one because I'm lugging my laptop along to do work and there's practically no space in the teeny-weeny bag I brought instead of my usual shoulder bags. And as far as I know, everyone I know is either having class now or would be quite quite unwilling to come out of their rooms (or wherever they are) just so that they can bring me a bottle of water. Dammit. I don't really relish the thought of leaving my laptop here just so I can go down to the canteen or the Co-Op to buy myself a nice bottle of "Fresh Alpine!" (or so they claim) water. But I'm thirsty!! THIRSTY!!! *dry coughing*

*weak rasps* wa...wat..ter............ *wheeze*

Waaaah... vs. WAH!!!

Waaaahh...

Went back to KR tonight to watch Culture Night, and it was really good!! And I saw super super a lot of people whom I haven't seen for super super long and managed to have good long conversations with most of them instead of the usual "Hi! Long time no see, how are you? Ok Bye!" Am super super happy now!!! Weeeeeee!!!!! I'm so glad I decided to go back to visit!!! Lalala...! At least I don't feel overwhelmingly sad when I go back now. It feels more like... Class reunion.. Family reunion... That kind of thing. Hee hee!! Happy happy happy!! (^_^)

Now the "WAH!!!"...
My project group for Japanese Marketing has just realized that our presentation is on Monday (report due the week after) so we're having an emergency meeting tomorrow. Later today rather, seeing how it's technically Friday already. 1pm we're meeting. And I have absolutely NOTHING to contribute.... DIE. I will just go to this meeting and be shot dead by all my group members. (x_x)

I want to sleep... *sob*

YOU by Kazami

YOU
Samurai Champloo OST song
Lyrics by Lori Fine[COLDFEET]
Music by tsutchie
Featuring Kazami

Oh, you know
You know what to say
Say "I love you"
Oh, I think you've got to know right away
"Maybe me too"

You
You are a nice, cool breeze in me
I feel you blowing in
I can feel the sunlight all around me
You're shining

I feel beautiful when I'm around you
I'm safe and comfortable
'Cause you are wonderful
It feels natural to be around you
You've made it possible
You're wonderful

Oh, can I
Can I tell you why
Why I need you
Oh, my life
You made it a cloudless sky I can fly through

You
You are a deep, strong wind in me
I feel you - Come on in
Can you see the sunlight all around me
You're smiling

I feel beautiful when I'm around you
I'm safe and comfortable
'Cause you are wonderful
It feels natural to be around you
You've made it possible
You're wonderful

Ok.... Aside from the lousy - and very weird - English and horrible diction (a-lound vs around...) this is a very very very nice song from Samurai Champloo ep 17. If only my blog could sing. Damn I need to STUDY !! STUDY!!! STUDY!!!

Avoid Avoid

I'm avoiding XXX (something? someone? wldn't you like to know...)... I know why I started avoiding XXX. But sometimes I feel myself weakening and I start to question if I really have a reason to avoid XXX. It should be for the better, and that's the only reason why I persist in my avoidance (if there's even such a word). Arrgh... I need a shrink.

Why Melancholy??

I seriously don't know what's wrong with me these few days. Everyday when I wake up, I feel this slight twang of sadness. I wash it off in the shower and go through my day as always. But then I come home, I switch on my computer and again, that same feeling of sadness will hit me. And I find myself stuck listening to sad or soppy Chinese love songs! And they're the same ones over and over again!! And I'm not sure exactly what's bothering me... Cripes, I need a shrink.

At the moment my song-obsession is this new Japanese song by Rie Fu called "Life is Like a Boat". It's half in English and half in Japanese. Ever since I heard it, I've been playing it on my computer. I tried to look for a translation but all I could find was a transription of the song. In romaji no less so I couldn't really tell what the actual words were. But I've set out to translate it myself and it's not easy working on just romaji. It's got a really nice meaning. If I could I'd write it out here in what I think is the accurate kana but the last time I tried to put Japanese characters here, they turned into funny symbols. So again, there's no point in putting only the romaji version here and I'm definitely not done translating it. It's kinda sad, but kinda hopeful as well. I love it. I guess I could type out the English parts of the song, but I'll only do that if people really wanna know what this song is about. Else I think I'll only post it here when.. IF I actually finish translating it.

Lousy Weekend

Aside being ultra-unproductive, this weekend was just lousy because right now, my chest feels like its got a hard ball of lead inside instead of a heart.

A couple of stupid things happened and even more stupid words were said. The worse part is that I let myself get too affected by all of it. In truth they were probably just... Stupid specks of dust on the horizon. But I let those stupid specks become big blobs that blocked out the sun. Excuse the lousy analogies.

I can't help but wonder - Is it more self-centered to think that you can identify with another person's feelings? That what you feel from your own experiences equals that other person's; Or to insist that what you're feeling or going through is just different from other people, no matter how similar it might seem? Or is it really just a point of view? Or maybe we just say these things to comfort the other or ourselves, depending on whose crisis it is. Do I make sense?

I'm sorry I didn't say this to you over MSN, but I didn't know how to say or explain it. I really believe that what you're going through is different from what I'm going through. I can't explain it. I didn't choose to be that person's safety net, wittingly OR unwittingly. But I want out. I'm not sure I can take the mental/emotional assault anymore. Yet at the same time I'm not sure I'm strong enough to break away. I know that you'll probably argue... Try to rationalize, rather, that you're going through the same thing and you're feeling exactly the way I feel. I'm not going to argue with you. Simply because I can't argue with you. And I don't want to. How do you argue with someone who makes arguments for a living? You can't. So I won't. It's just different. I'm sorry, but it just is.

It just is.

Of Safety Nets and Failsafe Devices

It sucks being a safety net. Is it written somewhere on my forehead that I'm the emergency airbag that will break your fall each time you decide to crash and burn? I'm tired of being taken for granted. I'm sick of being that failsafe constant in your life. See me truely. Either acknowledge my existance as a separate identity from your own, or let me go.

Just let me go.

Can Siew Mais Be Oversteamed?

It.
Is.
Damn.
Freaking.
HOT!!!!

I'm going mad in this heat. Maybe that's why I'm off doing crazy things. Jemalelinh can testify. Bleah. Some more going to give up "The Visit of The Tai Tai" just to go back to KR to watch Culture Nite. But I DID promise Raymond. And like I told Jemalelinh, between Raymond and *cough* SOMEONE... I'd choose Raymond. Lalala. I'm biased. Hehehehe!!

Found out just how immature some people can be today when I accompanied Mel Fann to Concourse to get things for her play. We were on the topic of the personalities of certain people and she told me how a particular someone -- I'll call him Beast. Some of you will know who I'm talking about. -- was apparently pissed at me for revealing at a dinner gathering, AFTER he revealed it himself, that I'd known beforehand about his breakup and that I heard the girl's side of the story before his. His reasoning being that being in the same working committee for so long I was s'posed to be closer to him instead of the girl. And so he's pissed that I found out her story before his.

What the hell??

Ok. So I did let out to everyone at the dinner that I knew about the breakup, but I INSIST that I only did so after - AFTER - Beast announced it himself. And for the record, my 'revealing' wasn't an 'announcement'. It was just a normal, "Yeah. *nod*" And the rest were like, "Huh?!? You knew already? Why you never say??" Beast was like.. Shocked that I knew...

Furthermore, it wasn't as if I went all out to find out what happened. Please... I'm not that boliao and I wasn't even close to that girl during that point of time. I found out by accident coz she just happened to be in the room of a friend I went over to visit, who happens to be this girl's best friend. They were talking about it when I popped into the room and I just got pulled into the whole conversation. In any case, what's the logic of I'm supposed to be closer to him therefore I should've found out his side of the story first?? Where's the logic in that???? And you're PISSED at me for knowing beforehand that you broke up?? I'm not about to take sides just because you're my friend you know. Well.. Supposedly my friend anyhow. OMG. This just brings guys and immaturity to whole new levels. Is it any wonder why I can't bring myself to fully trust men? For Pete's sake!! Grow a BRAIN!!

ARGH! MEN!! *pui*

Sucker!!

Damn... I'm such a sucker for subtle romances... And when it's a tragic romance, you've got me good.

Why do I always fall for the anime character who's walking on the edge of good vs. evil?? I need help.

Cinema Cinema Cinema

Sometime ago I posted a Movie Wishlist... Never actually got to watch any of the movies on that list although Shuhui and I ended up going to watch 2 other movies (13 Going On 30 and Seeing Other People) after that anyway. Heheh. But anyhow here's my latest Movie Wishlist. Hopefully I'll get to watch at least one before the exams.

Movie Wishlist:
1) 2046 ***** (TOP PRIORITY!! Wahaha!! Tony Leung and Kimura Takuya!! *drool*)
2) Sky Captain ****
3)....

Actually the rest don't matter. I just REALLY wanna watch those two movies. *crosses fingers* Die die must watch 2046.

Oooh! Added a couple of things on the Wishing Icicle. Bored people can go have a look. Wahaha...

What Possessed Me...?

I can't believe I did what I just did. I can't believe it.

Slap me, Mars!

New Section

I've added a new section on my sidebar called "The Wishing Icicle". Basically my wishlist. Was going to call it "Christmas Desires" initially but felt that it didn't really work with the theme of my whole blog. If anyone has a better suggestion, do tell me... I'll treat you to an ice milo or something.. Heheh..

Just felt like adding it to my blog. Don't really expect anyone to buy me any of the mentioned wishes, although I suppose I don't mind if you do. Hahaha! But more than anything it's just a little extra ranting that reveals the workings of my strange little mind... I think. Oh well. Take a look, have a laugh or just keel over from the absurdity of it. Heh.

Satisfaction

I got a B for my AS3213 mid-term!! This despite not finishing writing and not really studying except for the night before. *Big smile*

It's looking goooood... :D

Return of The Sleepless Nights

Tasks for Monday 11 Oct:
1) Finish AS3213 proposal [DONE]
2) Prepare for AS3213 presentation [Semi-done]
3) Prepare for JS2227 presentation
4) Prepare for JS2225 tutorial
5) Prep for JLPT 4 revision class

Well now... One down... Four to go. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

[Edit note: It just occured to me that in the previous entry "Party Deja Vu"... That's the first time I've actually mentioned Guowei's name in my blog... Ever. Oh well. Now everybody knows. :p]

Saint Siew Mai

I am feeling absolutely justified.

I went to the gym today and I ran on the threadmill!! Only for about 10minutes lah but WAH!! It's been so long since I ran. Think the last time I ran was before I went Japan. After that well... One thing after another. But TODAY!! Ok so my ankle staged a rather big protest after that but I felt WONDERFUL! So I finally went back to my usual 30min cardio before weights training. Woo hoo!!!

Bring on the killer cakes! I'm not afraid of you!! Wahahahahahahaha!!!!

I feel so saintly now. *look of smug content*

Party Deja Vu...

Went to Mel Fann's 21st B'day party last night. Said a lot of crazy things and did a lot of crazy things and er... *ahem* did a couple of kinky things... Ok perverts not THAT kinky!! Jeez... Hahaha.. Anyhow it was fun. And the cake was GOOOOD!! Regent Hotel cake wor... Dun play play... Heh.

'Twas a good break from school stuff. Though there were a couple of unexpected (but by no means unpleasant) surprises...

1) Saw Jasmine again after too long!! I'd kinda forgotten that she and Mel were friends. The last time we met up was the Marche outing that we had when Debz was back for the hols. I suppose being in different faculties which are like miles away from each other plays a big big factor but MY GOODNESS!!! Is it really so hard for a bunch of old pals to meet up for lunch or something? Come to think of it I haven't exactly seen Pukey since before the mid-term break and I haven't seen Sharon for a while either. EEK.. Must start planning regular lunch/dinner/study dates again. Else I don't think I'll ever get to see these people until Sharon's engagement party. Gah.

2) Second thing wasn't exactly a surprise I guess. It was more of "woah... deja vu..". Met a fellow there who reminded me so much of two people. The first person... Won't mention his name for various reasons. :p But this person, call him X, kinda set the standard in some way. He's not someone I ever had feelings for. We were just always good friends but he's just become one of the more important guys in my life. And I think if I ever fell for someone he'd be something like X. Which brings me to the second person that I was reminded of.

Guowei.
***Warning: Stop reading now if you wanna be spared a lot of whining and nonsense and mush. Yes. Mush.

I know I know. Aren't I supposed to be over him by now? Yes, I am. But hey! I'm entitled to some nostalgia! Anyhow. Party Boy reminded me of Guowei as well. Not a bad thing but not necessarily a good thing as well. Guowei was the first guy I actually thought I could have a serious relationship with, which is saying a lot. I mean yeah I've had serious crushes before but he was different. You know how with the normal crush guy you just kinda get excited or flustered when he's around, and your heart's beating like crazy? Well. I didn't get excited with Guowei around me. I felt calmer. I felt glad. I felt... The world's ok. Coz how could it not be? And my heart didn't beat like crazy. It beat just fine. Ok well, there was crazy beating when people asked me about it but never with him. He wasn't exactly like X but they had some very similar traits.

And now imagine: Party Boy's like BOTH of them. My mind (and stomach) was just reeling. I wouldn't say I was like fatally attracted or anything but I did want find out what this guy was all about. Yet at the same time I wanted him to just disappear. I wanted nothing to do with him. It was kinda confusing. Still is actually. I still can't help thinking about what kind of person he actually is. Haven't stopped thinking actually. I hope I never have to see him again.