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2011 has been the most amazing year so far. even more amazing than 2010 was. the last years showed me the person i want to be and the path i wish to follow. now. the forecast for 2012, this is going to be an amazing year, and it's going to be a lot of work, and hard work, and some jumping in cold waters and swimming through it will be necessary, and keeping focused. i would like this new years focus to be more. more self work more determination more independence more studying more satisfying work more self assertion more discoveries moments of happiness and fulfillment more yoga flexibility of body ,mind more clarity more reading books watching movies and music and dancing and sound of silence and song and forest walks and talks more real time with real people in real places and more learning more observing more understanding compassion more connecting more going away, away always closer to my heart. love and light, vasvoe xx

the desert and the oasis

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved the Desert and she travelled to faraway places to have the pleasure to meet it and be alone with it.One day she met another girl who had been to the Desert alone a lot as well. They recognised each other immediately the moment they took off their sunglasses to shake hands. They went to the park and danced all night. Later they decided to go back to the Desert together and after they had walked a long while they sat down across each other only to see their Desert had been an Oasis all along. Once upon a time there was a girl she loved the Desert much she travelled to faraway places to have the pleasure to meet it and be alone with it. One day she met another girl she loved the Desert as well They recognised each other the moment they took off their sunglasses to shake hands. They went to the park the danced all night in the moonlight. they decided to go back to the Desert together they walked a while under (the) stars sat across each other and saw their Desert had been an Oasis in all time

thank you, Teachers...

early this year i started my training as a shiatsu therapist. as with all the important things in life... it was a pure coincidence. i had gotten one of those discount coupons for a shiatsu session with a certain therapist named mario. i didn't know what shiatsu was. i had never had a shiatsu treatment. but curious as i am, i had to try it. i ordered the coupon. i looked up the therapist's website. so he was a teacher at a shiatsu school. and they even had an intro night, which he was giving the following week. i went. i walked out knowing i had found the exact thing i didnt know i was looking for. signed up the same night. fast forward ten months later. thanksgiving. evening class. me. three other advanced students. mario. wonderful class. at the end of the class, another of my favourite Teachers, ursula, came by to prepare the room for her morning class. i stood at the entrance watching my two Teachers rearranging the mats. ursula notice me and came to me, as i was wearing my hat. she said how are you my dear, while she was straightening my turtleneck. i said i am very happy. oh good, glad to hear that. and now i m going to straighten your hat so you can be even happier, and she straightened my hat, so lovingly, and said, be happy, be in the moment, and then at the same time we both said "cuz we never know how long it's going to last". and i said right now i am very happy for you are my Teacher, and she kinda didnt expect that, and i looked straight into her big steel blue eyes and i said THANK YOU and then mario came to say goodnight and i said "you know i wouldnt have become involved in shiatsu if it weren't for you, right?" and now mario is a bit of a shy guy and he looked away so charmingly as he does and when he looked back i looked straight into his big glacier blue eyes and i said THANK YOU i've been blessed with so many wonderful Teachers in this life...

is that what you greek people do?

a darling friend informed me yesterday morning that she was ill and staying home from work until end of the week. i asked her to recount the medicine the doctor had given her, ordered a eucalyptus bath and bedrest or i'd spank her, and said i was going to be over at her house that night or the next morning. this morning i was over. i didn't stay much - just long enough to make her some tea, tidy the kitchen, make her eat some fruit with her medicine, cook some soup for lunch, make her some more tea and see that she sips it while entertaining her with descriptions my latest sex dreams, tuck her snuggly on the sofa with books and more tea... when it was time to go i got up, hugged her and kissed her forehead, not without ordering another eucalyptus bath before bed. she stopped me halfway to the door. -so, is that the greek thing to do when people are sick? -what like, bust into their house at 9 in the morning and make them drink tea until it squirts out their ears? -no, you know, come to their house and take care of them? is that what greek people do? i really did have to think about this for a moment. was i trespassing cultural limits here? was i intruding? it didnt even cross my mind to ask whether it was ok to go by. i just stated it as a fact. was this too much? i mean, although she did catch a lung infection, she wasn't exactly dying. -i'm not sure as to which upbringing is responsible for it - i think that's what friends do. oh, i'll get the trash on my way out.

titles... pfff!!! by tra, (http://tra.shoe.org/) so i was telling a friend today i feel like after 30 years of being int he total darkness, in the last couple years it's like "enlightenment" has been accelerating. which is really weird cuz i saw that docu the other day saying a similar thing... so at least i m in company with my weirdness. that's what counts eh. i ll try to put it in a image. say i was in a dark room, without any light. and now, as if the blinds have been ever so lightly loosened, and a couple faint rays come in inbetween the holes. maybe i still can't really see the picture, but compared to the absolute darkness of the first 30 years, there is something to see, even if it's just shadows. i was telling this to my friend and wondering, will another couple rays have sneaked in through the shutters in another 30 years, maybe i can see more than shadows, maybe then i can even see some form... like, how cool would that be... what a revelation.... it's nothing compared to what is really there but it's everything compared to nothing and double as many faint rays of light before... remember you must compare it to the absolute darkness... whether there is such a thing as absolute darkness or absolute anything, that's kinda another discussion... it always begins with curiosity... maybe curiosity is the seed of light in the "absolute" darkness... the "possibility" of light... say you been paddling along like one of those underground mice whatever they called, just fretting around really, never taking a breaths break to think about what you re doing or why or where to or anything, you re just running digging sniffling... and then, you stop. and ask yourself, hey, what's up? and this questioning, turning the attention to yourself opens the world to you. (never mind about actually getting answers eventually) today was a day so intense, cant remember when i had one like this last. i went to my yoga class in the morning... to say goodbye to my beloved yoga teacher. omg she was sniffing tears every other exercise. she has the handkerchief usually to wipe sweat and today she was wiping tears. i had to be really strong and not cry. i didnt completely manage. my one eye was crying the whole time. but only one. the other stayed brave. she gave us a three hour class, she dried us out like sponges (please someone remind me the better verb... wrigle?)... all my organs are super detoxing right now. i kept thinking, ahhh this is haaard!!!! "oooh, it's hard hard hard ay ay ay ayyyyy shhhh!!!!" a couple months ago, the various thoughts crossing my mind were "fuck it, that's too hard!" "i cant do this!" "this class is too difficult for me!" "boohoo, i m too fat to be here!!" today: "ahhh it's so hard!!! ay!" "come on knee cap, pull up my arch!" or "i know you re a really stubborn trapezius but i m not gonna give up till you do!" talking to my various body parts and organs has become a totally normal daily thing. just like talking to my pets or my plants. Sometimes, Teachers have to leave. We are sad for a while. Then we throw our shoulders back stick our heart out and wear them with pride. With every teacher we carry, we become Lighter. Do we really carry them or do they carry us? So after that, I had to run to my practice where i had arranged with a friend to give her shiatsu... i had a lovely practice experimenting with something and gaining knowledge... she is going to have a week from hell and she will have to work hard but i m rather positive about the outcome... i convinced her to go to the river afterwards and it was an absolutely fabulous swim... the water was hardly cooling, there was no current, i almost had to swim to move along... then we installed ourselves at the "women only deck" gazing at pretty female views around us and the people floating in the river underneath i had left my stuff at the practice and only went to the river with my bathsuit, skirt and tshirt over... after the swim i didnt want to wear the wet bathsuit on my skin so i went back to the practice with clothes on but no underwear lol... luckily it's only like 20 mins walk.... but i had to walk through the red light district with clearly not wearing a bra hahaaa after i had put on some underwear on i had to run to my date... yes well i wasnt gonna go to a date without underwear!!! she is lovely by the way and there i was going into the water again with her, this time in the lake, it was getting dark and we floated out in the lake, that was simply amazing, nothing but looking at a cloudy sky and hearing to my own breaths volumized through the water... like time had stopped, like nothing existed beyond this one breath and this one sky... and she, somewhere behind me, next to me, was i must say a nice addition talking of hearing.... i have gotten my hearing gradually back... a few days back i randomly realised i could hear the cicades.... i was flabbergasted... i never knew there were cicades in switzerland... and an uhu bird outside my practice in the freaking middle of the city.... and one afternoon i could hear the breeze through leaves at home... and my cat is snoring incessantly man and he prefers to sleep right next to my pillow! omg a world coming back alive.... i was told with scarred eardrums and what not... and the recurring ear infections... bla bla... not wet the ears... bla bla... no more swimming for you... bla bla... take these good antibiotics, they're gonna kick the infections' ass, ah yes, hopefully before my immune system's?! pfff!!! ok i think that's it with my rant... haven't written in a while so just making up for it boooh aaa hahaaa

what my life looks like

my life is really blessed.

for starters, i am healthy. i am healthy physically, psychologically and emotionally. there's nothing wrong with me! except for the occasional cold and such. my support and movement apparatus shows no impairement, my organs are doing their job, my senses are functioning, my brain processes impulses in a satisfactory manner and my mind is not playing tricks on me.

I do not have things from my past weighing on me either - i've worked them out in long processes of understanding forgiveness and self love.

i am financially healthy, too, my living expenses are covered adequately and i have no debt while I am training in the profession I chose to follow for my future.

i have a handful of really close friends - their presence even from a distance is invaluable. although i live abroad, i have family close to me in the person of my flatmate who is also my ex husband. together we have four beautiful cats that show me their love and acceptance day in and day out. I have three of the most loving and supportive siblings anyone could wish for and a mother so crazy and out of touch with reality that she is charming in her own right. and how could I forget my spiritual family who are my rocks when it comes to living faith love and compassion. I also have a bunch of interesting, fun, witty, people in my life to hang around with.

aside from my personal relationships, I have met wonderful teachers who've given me a push on my way. my shiatsu teachers, my yoga teachers and all my past "teachers" who include a much wider category of individuals than education professionals.

I get to wake up from a restful warm sleep in the morning, be greeted by one or two furry tails and velvety wet noses, i stretch and yawn without any pain and climb down my high bed effortlessly...

that is already the blessing I start my days with.