i met someone special. i say "special" because this is not someone i would normally hang out with, and vice versa. i think really, everything happens for a reason. sometimes when all your friends leave you (those going on exchange, different streams, etc.), you start opening up to new people and making new friends. the things you lose, you will gain back in some other forms. but meeting new people and making new relationships require a lot of tiring effort. personally, i'm not such a good friend-maker, but we'll see how it goes.

but why is my new friend so moody? like quiet and sulky in the morning and gets high and noisy and positively crazy as the day progresses. i'm not used to a friendship that requires warming up lol.

anyway. isnt this live version of 'Bridge over Troubled Water' simply awesome?

confusionism.

yesterday we had a studio session that felt like forever. after an eternity, i looked at my watch and it was only 5 pm! loads of work coming up cos interim crit is next week and we've barely done anything.

happy hari raya to all. yesterday we watched parts of 'Islam: the Empire of Faith' in my Islam and Malay Society class. it was quite a compelling documentary and i learned some new stuff about how Islam began.the music was abit exaggerated and too orientalist though, it's irritating. but well it's a western documentary so what can i expect.

the reason i like dogs so much is because i'm a mossed up rock. to me, the feeling of seeing a dog is quite distinct from, say, seeing a cat or chicken. it's kind of similar to seeing a frog, but each draws a different response from me. a frog makes you shut up, stay still and stare. a dog makes you squeal "so cute!" and reach out. i'm not an animal lover. i dislike cockroaches and some other insects, feel slightly positive towards almost any other animal, and i love dogs, frogs and lizards.

there's no telling what i can or cannot do. we proved it today by smelling greatly of insect repellent and walking in the drain and eating good food and admiring huge dogs all at the same time. and the kuehs were awesome, i must say. i'm not a fan of kuehs but the 3 in 1 kueh platter at poison ivy was great.. now i have to scrub my shoes.

why i stare at the same thing day and night i don't know. it's really a waste of time. but the vision is just so compelling, like it speaks to me. despite all the impossibilities. it's kind of similar to how i kept staring at the blue mountains on my screen - the longing to be there and break through all the impossibilities. i think it's partly this similar appeal. so i stare at this combination of danger and harmlessness and try to figure it out.

i hate this feeling of right vs not-rightness. probability vs impossibility. (impossibility = 不可能性?)
life presents me with a crater and i fall right in. damned stupid.

nothing is more sad and pathetic than today's consumerist society, and capitalism is the heart of the problem. this is something that we should all be able to feel. it's something that we should strongly react against. and it's something that we should be able to react against, in our own ways.