ich pendle.
in sec 3/4 i wanted to go against norms in society. in jc i theorised that there's no such thing as a society, and similarly there are no individuals; there is no real self and therefore no hypocrisy. now.. ya i'm back to the notion of individuals and society. in the past i wanted to defy norms where i felt they were not appropriate. not just defying norms for the sake of doing so. now i feel not only i must rebel with discretion, i must have an aim. and my aim is to bring stereotypes down.

ok. anyhow. climate exam was ... dots. so now japanese left! i like studying japanese. haha.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

They asked me how I knew my true love was true,
I of course replied, something here inside cannot be denied.
They said someday you'll find all who love are blind,
When your heart's on fire, you must realize,
Smoke gets in your eyes.

So I chaffed and then I gaily laughed,
To think that they could doubt my love,
Yet today, my love has flown away,
I am without my love.
Now laughing friends deride tears I cannot hide,
So I smile and say when a lovely flame dies,
Smoke gets in your eyes.

i have finally found out how to use the german keyboard on windows! haha. ok now finally can type properly.

today's the first day i'm being rather productive. haha. maybe i should always study in library.

i'm happy. for the wrong reasons. i think i'm really deprived. lol.

die la.. i know i'm not supposed to be here.. haha. haven't really studied how?? friday was burnt for portfolio submission (by that i mean doing nothing and sitting around for 2 hours after submission) and then went to samuel's place for tuition. and then had dinner for some time. and then homeward and went to bed. damn.

didn't go as badly as i thought it would. but ya nvm.

poor bus 10. i was mumbling curses and swearwords all the way (until i fell asleep, that is).

study week is not going too well. i've just been lazy. it's not usual of me to be unmotivated in the face of exams.. but ya i am. don't feel like studying, certainly don't feel like doing the bloody portfolio. i only want to rest... was supposed to study today. ended up like window shopping and swimming and sitting down and chatting with callista awhile. which are good per se. except, this is not the time!! lol. i'd 10 times rather read history than climate. this is sickeningly boring.

i keep playing 周杰倫's 愛情懸崖

 妳說我像一個小孩　總愛讓妳猜
　我說妳才像個小孩　總要我說才明白
　有些事太快　失去了等待　障礙　沒了期待
　我們的愛　怎麼才自然　每次溝通不來
　就要離開　就說不要愛

　我掉進愛情懸崖　跌太深爬不出來
　下降的速度太快　來不及踏上未來
　妳的愛反覆徘徊　打亂我的呼吸節拍
　該怎麼逃開　我控制不來

　我掉進愛情懸崖　回想起妳的可愛
　傻傻的還在等待　以為妳還會回來
　妳的臉慢慢離開　時間快將我掩埋
　消失的太快　我負荷不來

anh's right. suffering from archi burnout. symptoms: "lethargic, uninspired and downright lazy. this is serious."
well expressed!

took this quiz on facebook on psychological disorder. and i'm told i have this thing called the 'avoidant' disorder. which means that i care too much about what people think, and this makes me very anxious. sounds quite true to me. haha. man.. got to change.

haiz. archi con panel still not done yet. looks okay to me so far. but still only about 60% done.

wise guys is cool! anyway. i'm excited about many things. about reading week, about going home, about the trip, about hall and ya basically the end of semester. that was fast..

draft or freehand?? can't decide.

the mp3 player has brought this unpleasant culture of what i consider exaggerated impatience. here are some of my objections:

1. it stores many songs. unlike its predecessors like cds and tape recorders, you have a collection of songs from different artists and different albums in a player. i feel like it lacks the diligence in appreciating one album or one artist. this comment comes from my personal experience. after my discman broke down and i was forced to use the mp3 for an extended period of time, other than the fact that it's lighter and smaller, i found myself browsing through the songs. am kind of bothered by this habit. have yet to rectify it, but i feel like it's nearly impossible with an mp3 player.

2. it has a shuffle mode. which i suppose is to do with trying to cope with a fixed sequence that is considered boring. or worse, to aid people who can't decide what to listen to that day (myself included).

3. there are implications on the marketing strategies of producers [negative implications (to me lah..)]. the way people listen to songs on mp3 player means that there is almost no need to orchestrate an entire album anymore. i mean, previously, when an artist did a record, it was always important to consider the number of songs, the length of each song, the sequence of songs etc. but now that people listen to fragments of an album, these things no longer matter in the same way. i haven't done like research on it la. so can't really prove it. but as i was sitting on the bus, i felt like i've found the cause of the downturn in the music industry. the artists are no longer hard pressed to produce a certain number of quality songs before they launch an album. they just keep churning out albums with some hits.

of course they're all not just a one-way thing... ya our lifestyle has changed, which in turn demands these features, but by accommodating our fickle wishes, we have exaggerated our impatience. we have imposed this impatience on the next generation, who hasn't experienced the composure of not having any choice but sit through a tape recorder. of course the tape recorder was better. you can't even skip a bloody song unless you keep pressing the forward button. but something without a forward button would have been better. haha. and maybe that's why my love for old songs last longer. those hits don't bore you. you have to listen to the entire tape to get back to the same song. and then you discover the other nice songs in the album that don't become hits. you become truly a fan.

(join me in the fight against exaggerated impatience).
haha ok that line's just a joke.

yesterday's tuition with samuel went really well. and since he wasn't sleepy or bored i thought i'd stay a while longer. but then his mom came and asked if it wasn't time to round up. so i kind of rushed a bit. but yea. finishing metals is such a relief. i hate chemistry.. wonder why i took this up.

superman. that was funny. lol.
the toilet idea was scraped. but maybe i can still do the cavity. great we have another chance. got to make it work this time.

maybe it's time to close this bloody blog. the only reason i'm keeping it is because i don't really wish to delete it. but ya that's rubbish reasoning.

other than that. i am making some progress! i'm on pg 42. though that's still really far away from 89. haha.

damn. crit session tmr. no idea what to say.
well... yeah. no worries. everything comes to those who wait. like in the old boyzone song. haha. 'heaven knows' that song's cool man.. just to prove my point, i'll post it here. lol.

Heaven Knows - Boyzone

the archicon model went well. the panels didn't quite work out. lol. anyway, i thought i could get my sleep after that. but no, ended up rushing for the one-week sketch submission again. haha.