1221 essay finally done. it's sunday. which means.. the term break is over and i haven't rested! wth!! amfufu.

amanda will be back in singapore?? in a few hours' time? see you soon.

halimaw = monster. lol.

man.. this is tough. lol. when again? someday. Alles zu seiner Zeit. and even then, what now? time changes people. people change people. "The only constant is change." who said that? (checked online, i think that's by Heraclitus). i've come to the end. there's nothing to regret, there wasn't anything i would change. it wasn't my decision alone.

it's like your body. as a baby there was a first you. and then there will never be the same you again. you learn to stand, and fall. learn to bike, you fall. try to be funny and you get knocked on the head. the world changes you. the same with your life.

i don't forget. it may not matter, but still i hope you know.

i was a very happy person. lol. ya hor..

i guess this is one thing i enjoy doing: giving tuition to fabian. though sometimes it causes terrible headaches. exam in just a week plus' time.

i've registered for b2.5 exam preparation course, which means i'll be taking the b2 Pruefung this december. so exciting! i need a goal :D

okay tonight must really really finish the AR 1221 essay.

borrowed my brother's bag and came across this:


man.. how long has that bag not been cleaned? lol. but anyway, this is cool artifact! from november 2006. i think that's why everyone needs a sibling. that ticket was pretty. i miss those days. rather miss being in tjchoir. the constantly high feeling. (not true. but i remember only the good bits. there weren't many bads.)

we rocked.

managed to extract the german songs that andrew burned like two years ago, now that i have a dvd drive lol. some are pretty cool.

i lost my sense of identity. lol.

that's how i felt. so i took a pair of scissors from my brother's room, steeled myself and went to stand before the bathroom mirror, and cropped my hair. that makes me sound positively unstable, but i assure you i am more or less sane. i just have this impulse to cut my hair when i feel restless or upset. this is not the first time, so i know what i'm doing.

i'm sorry callista, i saw your NO only after i did it. i may have postponed it or something if i had seen it earlier.

this is what i think: man lives and dies alone.

these days i don't know whom to trust. your friend suddenly becomes enemy and you realise you've been thinking with your, what, nails? stupid prejudice and some of your "friends" are no friend. happened once, twice, thrice, and that's it. chances GONE. lol. of course i'm exaggerating it. that's why i write it. lol. but anyway it doesn't only happen to me..

i thank some people who have been really nice. i wish the world was like that.

i forced myself to turn on the computer so i can rip my cds into the library. desperately need songs. this com is technically empty. anyone with songs to share are welcome to send me some :D

leaving some cds unripped though. there's something about playing cds in your discman, forcing yourself to sit (or stand) through the ones you don't like, and having to repeat twelve, thirteen songs three, four times a day. the sacrifice you have to go through to access the good bits.

break is halfway over and still doing work. lol.

i love this photo.


must save money so i can go back there and visit my "Land of Wonder". very pleasant memories indeed. to me it was like a dream. like i hadn't seen enough and suddenly i was overwhelmed by wonder. everything was awesome. and then the people i met were great. and it was different from like a holiday, because i was living there like a normal life, cooking, washing, watching football, doing grocery, walking around the park.

oh man...

anw this is funny: "The New Facebook is now the only Facebook." lol.

i've decided i'm going to write a book someday. when i'm really free. in this lifetime, yeah. it's going to be a fiction. and it's going to be a cool one like the Catcher in the Rye or Othello or something. it's not going to be categorisable other than under 'Classics' or 'Cool' probably. LOL. and it's going to be a bit funny (ok fine fine i'm seeing rolling eyes here).

crazy over Aerosmith's 'Crazy'.
"what can i do, i feel like the colour blue."

totally different context, though. lol. i dunno why. i wish i weren't such an emo person. man.. scheisse. i think i'll bring Danke to studio. she's going to talk to me, and make funny pleasant noises. and i'll buy a flower. no amount of triggerhappytv can put me back to track.

the thing i like about blogging is.. i can be (relatively) self-absorbed without being self-absorbed, really. at least i'm not imposing it, i mean, only people who want to read will read. ah but this is bad so i should just write elsewhere private, really.

busy week. busy relaxing and playing. lol. oh man.. term break is here! good.

anyway some impactful parting words from fong:
"it will love you back. ... People will disappoint you at some point, but that which you have created will always be yours."

i think it's true. anyway. i want a pet. or a flower. maybe another Lobelia? ok i've decided, i'll buy a pot of flower one of these days. i need to talk to somebody.

i don't know you. i don't know anyone. i fear the unknown.

disillusionment.

again. i've been wondering.. is it possible to be disillusioned over and over again? not sure. but i feel like i don't know anyone. in short, i feel quite upset with the fact that i'm in this world. but nvr mind. i don't want to emo lah..

i've been flipping through my phone folders and found these random lines i used to write when i had nothing to do. they are so lame. like:

Someone with pride will not fall into general stupidity, but in avoiding this, excess pride may lead him to greater stupidity.

The fate of a child is such that he is indebted, but he does not remember that he chose to be hired.

The world has 6 billion human beings, while you only have one world.

There is just so much malice in the world - mosquitoes need to feed, but they do not have to cause itch.

i'll save the rest for when i don't have anything to write.

First I came up with this line:

Life is governed by tensions and compressions, impulses and inertias.

Screw my impulses and inertias, because the latter caused me to stay in bed thinking and talking to myself for approximately half an hour, and the former made me go to my com and type this this moment. It is 4.53 am on my com’s clock. And of all nights it has to happen the night before the 9am PF lecture.

Anyway, this was how it started. I woke up at about four and came up with that line. After coming up with that line I had to find an example to follow through. the example was when you feel like you need a haircut and yet you tend to postpone. ok what kind of pathetic person will come up with such an example??

anyway.. i deleted the rest of the post that i wrote this morning, nvr mind.

so yesterday went to kampong glam for the frank ching workshop and did two sketches. the area is quite pleasant. i've never been there before this so i was quite happy with the bit of sense of adventure that gave. it was also first time sketching outdoors so it was FUN with capital letters. except that i feel like some AA person sitting by the pavement.

try Pokka's Milk Tea when you get the chance to. it's nice. not too sweet.

damn, i feel uncomfortable bordering on THREATENED. lol.

came across this line while researching on Secession style in Wien:
"To every age its art and to art its freedom."

"Der Zeit ihre Kunst, der Kunst ihre Freiheit."

that line is amazing. it was, according to wikipedia, carved above the entrance of the Secesssion building. this line honestly sounds better in english. lol. but anyway the german version is cool cos it so happens all the nouns in this line are feminine!! wow. die Zeit, die Kunst, die Freiheit. anyhow, i realise i missed out many buildings while i was on my trip. like in wien, i did go to the karlsplatz station (to change train!!) but i was only underground! can't believe myself. tsk. but anyway didn't see much of wien lah.. it was only one short (rainy) day.

i wasn't talking about myself, btw.

thanks to the frank ching workshop, i am having (possibly) the slackest week ever. \ and yesterday fabian did his homework! and we managed to revise elimination and cover substitution and some statistics. so i was in very good mood. yeah. i hope he keeps it up.

just got home. finished structures submission part 1. history essay looming ahead, due in two weeks' time.

fawesome.

sunday. and i went to school. man.. well of course that wasn't part of the plan. the plan was always to finish by saturday. lol but hm.. at least i was done pretty early. the worst part of having to go to school on weekends is that... only mcdonald's is open!! so we have to eat that. real pathetic.

of course people change. it's not an important question at all, so long as the change is not for the worse. who defines "worse"? certainly not yourself. that would've been too convenient. i think, hm.. i think, it should be the people who matter most to you. screw the rest of the world.

i think something's wrong with the blog.. not the blog per se, but ya the blog.

anyhow, i don't care. lol. hm, today accidentally met zhongshan at the sde/engin bus stop. which was really a big coincidence. btw i forgot to take photos of my book before handing in.. so ya, no pic! stupid me. i liked my work a lot man.. so i hope they'll return them after grading.

next week i'm (well we all are) going to meet prof Frank Ching. it's like meeting one of the architecture gods. lol. so it's a big deal in the department.

been reading some german blogs of 14, 15 yr olds. content quite lame especially cos i don't even know the people (so i feel like some kaypoh person), but entertaining nonetheless, and besides, oh man just because they're writing in german the posts sound so poetic! okok yes i'm biased. lol.

the best line i've come up with in months:
Life Kills.

lol. well anyhow, happy teachers' day to all. there's nothing much to update other than on work. so it will get boring. after some time you'll realise that i'm having no life. so i can have nothing to blog about other than how pathetic my no-life-situation is. (which is really not that bad, actually.. it's just, yea, no life). well, the extent to which this is affecting me is evident in my vocabulary. it's getting quite shitty. lol.

the only module i'm (quite) getting is History and Theory of Modern Architecture. yap. the rest .. hm i just go through them hoping something good comes out of it. Had fun doing a Spatial and Visual Communication assignment. it was totally relaxing (almost as if i was pursuing a hobby or something). will upload a photo of this fun thing when i have time. the best part is.. i was actually "doing work"!! this is the ideal thing, man..

my biggest worries are piano and deutsch. they're.. let's say.. rolling down a freakily steep slope. i can only hope that typing on keyboard is actually some kind of finger agility exercise (fat hope). and well.. i've started a wortschatz book,but dunno how long i'll stick to it.