Pple changes so do their meaning of life...some things i m really v tired....tired of explaining, tired of listening, tired of observing...i hv lost my smile...it is time to get it back....i dun belong there...i will do sthing...this i promise

I do not expect anything anymore already, don't make it worse. It is sad that i see things so clearly...if i dont understand, perhaps i can pyscho myself w tons of reasoning to explain things which happen this way...

why are adults so complicated...why is there a tendency to point fingers when things go wrong...i think adults need to do more reflection than kids!

I think i need a break...a break to reprioritise my life and to do more impt stuff than this...

i look upon the moon and stars at Thursday, April 07, 2011
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

Someone just reminded me yesterday that it has been quite a long while since i updated my blog....yup i guess i went mia for quite some time...of course it is partly coz of e nature of my wrk...hence it makes it inappropriate to discuss some of my thoughts freely since usually my thoughts r triggered by e incidents dat occurred during wrk....

anyway, yes i think i hv another new lease of life...thkfully to my frenz ard me...at one point of time, i really felt so down....guess it is something which really v unexpected....things that are uncertain really make me v uncomfortable....fortunately, i survive through it....of course bf is a strong pillar that enable me to tide through this ordeal...

this incident changed my mindset...it set clearly what i prioritise more in life and what i value more...im v glad dat now im able to meet my frenz, attend my lessons n live my life as per normal like the past...what has past is over....right now, i want to live my life to the fullest...i dunno what is gg to happen in future but i dun wan to leave any regrets behind...

i look upon the moon and stars at Saturday, September 04, 2010
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

It has been some time since I set aside some time for myself. 2 more mths and it will 1 yr since I left. Many times I do wonder how r my ex-colleagues and how r e teammates who got e clients that I had before I left.

10mths passed by just like that. I do wonder aloud at times about what would have happen if I stayed on. One of my colleagues asked me 2 days back, " So how, do u like working here?". I kept quiet for a while before smiling to him and say " Hard to compare, different nature".

However, deep down I know I really miss my ex-colleagues a lot. E closeness and teambonding that we had was something I do treasure and appreciate a lot. I can't help but always compare this way. Not that my current colleagues r nt nice but e feeling is just different.

Can I ever get this kind of feeling here? Will I stay for long here? Will I go back to there? Will I go to similar nature but not there? Am I happy here? Will I be happy if I stay here? Seriously, I am not too sure but these are questions I have been asking myself throughout these 10 months.

Hopefully no one ask me this question again as it will set me thinking again. Maybe deep down I hv an answer which I refuse to admit. Maybe maybe maybe....

Perhaps what keegan sd that time is right. Thou shall nt repeat what he said again. Thou shall not wait and do nothing. It is time for me to check out CFA.....

i look upon the moon and stars at Wednesday, July 14, 2010
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

After reading a friend's blog, I must say I do have her kind of feelings at times. And yes, sometimes I do feel that it is kind of hard to find someone who u can talk. I used to have a pretty close friend who whenever I want to talk to someone, he will be e one that I will turn to. Sadly, we are not as close as before and somehow I dont think I have his contact anymore since after my sec sch days. He is a good choice to talk to as he does not take what I say too seriously. Actually this means that he pretty understand how I work, coz at that point of time, I just want to talk but that does not mean that I do not know what I should be doing. Also sometimes he will offer another sight of view as he is older than me and more mature than I am.

To most people, I am a happy go lucky person. But person being person, there are times that a person who takes things easier get angry and irritated over nitty gritty stuffs. I think that is only right as humans r still humans in the first place. Maybe that's y I am more patient when pple start ranting to me as I am also at some point of time in the same situation as them.

i look upon the moon and stars at Saturday, May 29, 2010
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

Saw this on Urban Straits Times. V nice. Wonder how much does it cost...if only i studied designing!!!

i look upon the moon and stars at Saturday, May 29, 2010
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

Does someone really understand another person's situation? Empathise or sympathise? Perhaps it is a blur line. I never think i could relate totally to another person unless i m in it. Thus I can only empathise.

Is it wrong being a realist? I dont think so. Just that sometimes people might want to so call escape from the reality. Hence e message shld be brought across at perhaps e right time, using the right phrase, body language etc. A realist is good at keeping one in check but at e same time, it can demoralise one. Good or bad? I think it totally depends on e situation. Perhaps a balancing point would be good.

I think i hv changed. Nothing good or bad, but rather to be kinder to myself. Perhaps in my life, i m used to hectic, fast paced life and i admit i could not adapt at first when i switched from my first to e current job. It was too different, in terms of job scope, colleagues etc. Somehow pple needs some triggering pt to make them realise something. To someone who hates to leave e office w pending workload, her body need to force her to rest. This does not means that this person will be irresponsible or less competent. But rather to be more prioritised and focused in tasks. To analyse e situation before reacting.

I believe everything happens for a reason. This one shall be no exception as well. To my friends who r concerned, i am fine. Just that i need a breather and more personal space now =)

i look upon the moon and stars at Saturday, April 10, 2010
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon

These days, people had been posing me the BIG question especially after attending friends' BIG day.

As usual, I would just shrug it off and say it is still too early. Think it is age catching up w me!!! More and more people r posing me this question. I think this yr will be more of such questions, esp after cousin shini got married and also e fact that he has already started working....

Yest, an ex-colleague asked if i m gg back...frankly i was quite shocked...i mean i did miss e teamwrk and pple there and sometimes i did wonder if i made e wrong move...but then again, i dun think i will wanna subject my body to such torture again...e life of inadequate slp!!! it is sooo unhealthy...maybe some pple may think that one shld work harder when he/she is young...however, i think i wanna treasure my life more...i can wrk hard--do OT but not to e extend dat i feel like a robot...i can wrk e whole day w/o talking, however not to dat limit dat i can only slp 4-5hrs a day...even machines need rest and downtime...

So i posed a strong NO to his jokingly question...well, still glad to hv met up w so many of e ex-colleagues yest...it has been so long since we last met....glad they r still doing well and hope they will survive through well this peak....

audit had really see me through my limits...i can if i want but i dun see e worth...yes, i might earn a lot in future but will i really be happy? this is nt saying dat my current one is e one dat i m looking for but well, i wanna made full use of e more balanced lifestyle and dat is to study for my CFA....

my ex-colleague also intend to study for it, maybe we can enroll together....who knows? maybe we will be colleagues again in future....i think life is juz full of uncertainties and miracles!!!

i look upon the moon and stars at Monday, February 01, 2010
1 stars were shining bright even without the moon

what do i want ... ?
Something to call my own
Something to hold

deep blue memories