its you and me... against the world of the unruly!

if only momma was around..

(Saturday, September 06, 2008/2:15 PM)

salaam people.

this post's dedicated to my mom.

if she's around, she'ld be 51 years old.

if you need to know. everyone says that i look like her. but believe me. i'm ~~NOTHING~~ like her.

i dun have her patience.

i wont have her grace.

and i definitely will never be her.

but there's only one thing that i'm proud of.. she's my mom.

mom, if you're there looking out on us..

i would wanna say that i'ld miss you. so much. very very much indeed.

Al Fatihah to Allahyarmah Latifah Binte Taib.

posted by yournamehere. murder me? | 0 murdered me.

Current Mode : Remininscing the 'Ol Times

(Friday, September 05, 2008/10:54 AM)

salaam people.

I have been an ~~unproductive skiver~~ this Ramadhan, so far. Gosh.

I started with not feeling too well with the inflammed tonsils and all. Dangs.

Tarawihs was done @ home. Own time. Own target. Own pace. Own grace except one drive to Ba'Alwie Mosque with Mr Loverboy and friends. Alhamdullilah.

Currently typing this post @ my workstation, skiving. Pls laarh. Friday ley. and plus. its rainin outside. Just a pretty good weather to continue being under the sheets.. but i chose not to keng 'physically'... Note : Physically only hor.. Mentally still under my sheets @ home.

So i decided to do some random things.

I've been remininscing. Good ol times. Nak cakap miss, i dun really miss. tapi wheneva i think of things, i get myself dissapointed.

I'm not someone who 'cut' ties off with people i once claimed i care for, share my life, weal and woes with.. until they decide to punk out of the good ol friendships.

Its not the first time I've been 'striked' off from a friendship. Yeah, its never a great feeling. But life's to move on laarh kan. Kalau nak doq merungut, merenung and meratap, biler mau game?

Haha. I've read the other time. I see, you're pretty pissed with me eyy for just writing off how i feel for wat you've done or written? But i respect that piece of your writing, lil one. Why? Cos if it was me, i'll feel the same way too.. and perhaps I would have taken that way of writing you out of my life too!

Since i'm confirmed, chopped, signed.. sealed with hatred.. I'll take it the way as it is.. the way i was shoo-ed away by you. Really. It was becoming of things aint it? I asked for it kan? Okay laarh, i'll have to take the consequences..

But what you said was true.. Remininscence. We think of the things we shared, we did, we thought as part of the genq. I can help myself but think of that too...

But where were we when we parted? Why? On wat basis?

Was it really Allah trying to tell us something or was it plain pure co-incidentally wrong or misinterpreted?

I so would wanna believe that Allah gave us a test to the friendship of which you failed. i failed. we failed. FAILED.

Why? We failed to understand the whole situation. You wanted to feel that we're leaving you out.

Did we? Were we leaving you out when we just gave you way to spend time, the way you wanted to spend it, with your loved one?

Why were we penalised just because one of us did not go out with you on that fateful day?

Yes, you could have bought tixes for that show. So? So wat? Did anyone of us know? Were we informed? So you had your side of the story. and yes, you saw us there, all of us in fact. So? Was it really wrong for us to go together?

For Allah's part. Lets deduce that he wanted all of us to learn a lesson. Do not take each other for granted.

C'mon lil one, we've been in and out of situations together. Whadda EFF happened to the spirit?

What do those teary hugs that we shared during my bro's bday @ 3 Monkeys Cafe mean to you? Did we do it for fun? Did we really mean what we say when we said we'll be there for each other when we need each other?

Was i not there for you, at any times when you needed me last time? Where was that? Where's all that?

Okay, now everyone would wanna say that I'm being calculative. I want things reciprocated the way that I want. You can say what you want. I dun say things for fun, although you might want to take it that I say things for the higher beings. Just what do you mean by that?

If you need a reasoning for the things that i've written... I just write because i'm totally disappointed with you. IF THE WORD DISAPPOINTED IS NOT TOO STRONG OR FOR THE HIGHER BEINGS.. YES. UTTERLY DISSAPOINTED.

But if you want truth from me now.. I MISSED ALL OF US AS ONE.

Yes, perhaps i can only continue reminininscing. just like wat you did..

To you. If you need clarification of the truth. i'm open for discussion as always.

To the rest, its between me and him now.. its now or never. Cos i've not given up on this matter although my filthy gap has always sprewed disappointment over this matter, to the zillions of times. It has always been a longing prayer to get everyone as one again. Emnity shall not be part of us. We're just better off than that.. ~pulls collar up~

posted by yournamehere. murder me? | 0 murdered me.