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designer: frozen.d}
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salaam all..

and so i came back from a one-day leave plus two-day medical ones..

i strained my ligament.. it swelled-large-nuff-and-blued-blacked-at my left-foot's-arch!

it was an ol rugby injury... i kinda ran too much on sand.. playing beach soccer with the rest of the geng.

i forgot the warning that my foot sent me.. o'well.. its done anyway!


and so monday was great.

we had three major things to do in the itinerary.

1) sentosa. this one addhoc, cos snowcity's closed on mondays. chets!
2) bowling @ chevrons.
3) ka-la-owww-kay session @ cash karaoke studio

jam-packed to the max punyer.. tapi it was a day well spent.. quality time spent with my loved ones that is..

actually the itinerary started in the wee hours of sat morning.. where we went to jb with afiq, piee, beshtie and myself.

we came back like about 3am, and then supposed to be meeting at 11am the next morning!

~as groggy as we are, we're ready, get set. GO!~

the trip to sentosa was like balik kampung.. yes. almost definitely.

the beach was not too great.. like those in the coastal areas of pahang or that region for the matter of fact laarh kan..

but i enjoyed the beach soccer lorh..


and nuff of the sweaty indulgence.. we poofed off for the bowling session.

i already was feeling not too good with that foot but still played on 3 games of bowling.. okay by then kaki-wa-da-cam-nak-tercabuts geng.. cam nak potong-kaki-and-ganti-kaki-dengan-spare.

after that bowling session, we poofed off for a good karaoke session.

that session was good larrh. but they didnt had kekasih gelapku in their listing. a song of which everyone of us wanted to sing and had a 'dark' explanation on why it was a group favourite..

it was all good lorh.

as the credits roll..

thank you afiq for the car. and the driving..
thank you assyafii for the allocated time for us laarh kan. we love you. and the driving too!
thank you ladies for the time.

thank you razak for the polaroid. still am at it.. so will return to you later hor, uncle!

with that. it was a good day, really..

but that time spent was with one element, a lil less.. otherwise it would have been complete..


but till all things come back to normal, i'm still hopeful..


and afiq. ehems. dating ekkhs? wa caya laarh lu brudder. ~taps-fingers-on-da-chin-with-the-classic-evilish-grin~

salaam all.

today i learnt something..

results wont come easy and good w/o usaha..

and usaha tidak akan berkat tanpa doa..

but doa has got to be inline with usaha too...


kalau suruh orang doa.. tanpa kita diri sendiri tidak usaha.. pun tak guna..

so, faham2 ajer laarh ekkhs.

to those who've been there, done that.. you know wat i meant.

of which it brought my memories of my past, academically speaking..

of which i always have duely reminded you to learn from my lesson..



aniwae, its not all over and done with.. you can always learn from this lesson and do better after a failure... because a failure is something you deal with before success!

prepare for your next move, plan it with care.. and execute it with gusto! but do not forget, pls put in good amount of doa too...



Life is the sum of all your choices. - Albert Camus

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret - Ambrose Bierce


Sometimes when we're angry we spout the most hurting and unpleasant things, you wouldnt even think you'ld do in your sanest mind.


Well, I think anger is something very very serious. People, at their most angry mode can kill, mind you!


Words. Words kill too!


I used to be someone who's very frank. very much so in my past, i hurt friends.. with just being truthful and frank.


but i learnt, alhamdullilah. i'm still firm. yet very composed. its been a while when i get totally pissed, unless duely provoked laarh kan. and i'll really make sure that i'll scream, the difference would be.. i'ld scream with tact.


currently, i'm very much into the silent treatment.


cos i always believe that w/o me speaking, i'ld hurt lesser. i will not turn into an irrationally egoistic and a person who acts on blind pride.


i'ld just me a more composed me. just smile and let the day passes by itself. as tommorow will bring a better day, insyaALLAH.


I wouldnt want to regret anything, of those words of which i spoke of that will hurt anyone, at any point of time.


I wont be like you, definitely.. who speaks the most harshest of words and thinks that everything would be okay, thereafter.


i'm sorry if my silence sounds deafeningly cold..


but i chose not to hurt you, even so after your words killed me..


but life moves on anyway. there's no chance to look back. its all done..


well done.. you've managed to act on anger.


but i wont be like you.


i'lll just bow down with a teary smile..


till we meet again like strangers.. perhaps.

it was mayhem @ Singgah Selalu Johore Bahru on Saturday nite!

Coincidentally, it was the Manchester United - Reading match telecasted live on ESPN over at Astro's network.

And so, it was a lil 'rivalry' between me and Afiq lorh..

Cristiano Ronaldo's the cutest laarh kan. that ever 'arrrh-how-come-i-am-not-able-to-score' kinda face... that sorry face where i would wanna just say... 'aaaaaaaaaaaaawwww' to!

Okay, they won~ wooohoo!


We had fun. Suppering and laughing at the usual stuffs. the Merepek-Kerepek stuffs.

Thank you hor adik and beshtie too!

salaam all.

i did something like 'bad' over the weekend... ~dear bro, pls forgive me hor..~

i chanced upon my bro's journal. well kept.. full of nice writings and raps. ~whass up~

aniwae, i really found out that my lil bro can write. ehems! cam kakak dia juga laarh kan..


My bro's a bit quiet @ home. of which i know he babbles a lot when he's at comfort with his friends. How i know is cause i know his friends too.. yeah laarh. then how else i know laarh kan!


Okay, lemme share this with all of you..

"Of Truth, Compassion, Reason and Love.." as written by my bro, Md Zulkarnain.

Life is always about a search.
A search for truth, compassion, reason, love and life itself..

The truth about love is..
the compassion that lies in our hearts.

The reason why we need love is..
It creates hope, devotion, faith and belief which sums up to life itself.

Love for family, friends and that special individual.
So, every single day, we are living for love, but never knew about it.

The next time when you want to say 'I Love You'...
Think about it..
Whether is there any meaning to it?
And when you finally speak of those three, wrongfully used words.. it is worth it?

Is it worthy of life itself?


I am really impressed by this one, in fact i teared when i read it.

I think his experience of being in and outta love has given him an added boost of maturity.

O'well, i am beginning to accept that different people have different levels of learning and different ways to 'challenge' themselves to something that they are able/not able to attend to in different levels of their lives. Lesser or never, they've never been brash in their words or actions..

My bros are 2 growing up men who lost their momma's love when they were young and only had their ol man, and this not-too-perfect sista of theirs for comfort.

In my findings, due to that.. they are forced to soak in more responsibilities when they are young.. as young as primary three.. They had to do their own beds, iron their own uniforms and help daddy at his stall to make ends meet.

And now, when they have come to a phase that they are experiencing what other young men are experiencing, it is those hardships that teaches them the calm and composed approach to life's ordeals.

I have not seen them fight, verbally or physically.. Both of them, if mad with each other would run back to me or my old man to 'complain'. I think thats something that teaches them about sensitivity to each other's heart.

They do not really talk.. but i know that at their deepest corner of their hearts.. they love each other. and respect each other's capabilities in life.

I used to bring them for movies and dinners, but have slacked since cos they're both busy with work and study schedules.


Thats my real bros for your reading pleasure..

I know i've not spoken too much about them.. but this blog i'm dedicating it solely to them both!

To you both, i love you to the max although I know I havent really told you so..

I'm proud of you both. as you've taken in your experiences in life as a learning journey and that you've managed to act with much credibility.

Thank you for being two men who never gave your old man and myself any uncalled stress of which i'ld bite lor!

Thank you for being two individuals with the ability to jaga diri, although i know that you both have your 'vices' laaarh kan.

All I eva want as a sista.. is for the both of you to continue learning and turn out to be two responsible people, who would love their wives and children unconditionally when you're legally in marital vows and that do not take any relationships into something of a need when you're so young and still wanting to experience life being a single man.

I certainly would always continue praying for your best in life, in every aspect of it. most definitely.

Jaga diri and then continue learning to be anak2 yang soleh okay?

To Md Zulkarnain Alias and Md Arshad Alias...

Kakak loves you deep2!

salaam all

yesterday was so damn slack laarh siols.

i headed off straight from the office cos i kinda stayed to clear up my 'professional' clutter at the office.

ingatkan ngantuk. balik.. khidmat diri.. terus nak trusss membuta.. tapi.. tak laarh jadi pun sedemikian.


as i walked home, i was thinking of the current issues that i have in the bin of my heart now.. and i was praying that all things will end well..

but i cant afford to dedicate too much pain into it and then destroy my myself in good riddance.. all i could ever do is seek solace for now.. from all.


so much so when i reached home. i lepak2 with old man. mandi. baca yassin and then.. when i proceeded to gosok my baju for today.. suddenly the phone rang..



it indicated "My Adik Afiq".

i picked up the phone and the first question asked was, "Ngah wat pe? Asal tadi adik tepon tak angkat?"

so i answered laarh kan, "Kakak ngah gosok baju. tak dengar hp bunyik arh"


Rasanyer dia tahu kot wats happening and wat i'm thinking rite about now..


so i just tried my luck and asked. "Adik, would you be free to drive me around for supper?"

he accepted the idea and drove right up to my void deck to pick me up for supper.



and we talked. talked off my quandaries away..


o'well, life's gotta move on aint it?


least i had words of comfort that momentarily cushioned the pain.


it didnt take the problem away, but at least it made me smile..






And we went on talking about his recent promotion to Assistant Group Leader in his team. I duely congratulated him for that and always prayed that he would be rising in the ranks by end of this year or perhaps early next.


If i could remember properly, i told him this.. see, promotion is something that is an 'ukurtara' or benchmark of a particular success in life.. of which your immediate mgmt recognises your importance in the team and put TRUST in you executing it..


I wish you all the best, lurve!


pssst. i loved the story of the mama mabok sedut inhalant! siol arrh. how i wished i had him as my punching bag lorh. wa join lu larh mamat.. kita pukul dia ekkhs? tapi korang violent aarh. remember the portion when his head is under the seat? whoa liao!


it was a long talk over a cup of nescafe and teh tarik.. thats for sure..


i think that was due. i kept watever i felt to myself till ysterday.


thank you for the time and effort to drive me around.



when i woke up for subuh just now.. i felt refreshed.. my conscience was cleared up.







i think it was the tears when i recited my yassin yesterday. Thanks Allah.. it has gotta be HIM, the Ever Knowledgeable and Ever Healing.



and to those who cared. i thank you for your constant lurve and support.


hey, its a Friday and the weekend's approaching in a while later.. Have a great weekend!


Adik Afiq.. JB? Amcam? ekekekeke..

salaam all.

got back to work after 3 days of 'not-so-nuff of sleep' to wake up early2 morning and then poof off to my buddies place to take up the wedding facilitatior role.

its an honour to be a chosen friend to be there when you are beside your girlfwen during the ijab kabul is recited and accepted. really!

yesterday when the kadi did up his khutbah nikah, i was deep in thoughts..

i think all my previous thoughts on marriage are dealt with and i have come to better understanding on it. he cited as marriage is a blessed union of souls.. not just a certificate or just an escape route oFF sins..

its a whole lotta commitments..


for the guys.. its a huge responsibility of giving your chosen one a roof over her head, the bread on the table and everything else. physical. emotional. spiritual and all.


for the ladies.. its your responsibility to safeguard your hubby's namesake, wealth and to foster the credibilities of being a good wife, mother and daughter in law to his family.


see, marriage is not about I LOVE YOUs. its much more about 'not-only-i-love-you..but-i-wanna-share-my-luv-for-you-and-grow-ol-with-you' kinda commitment.

some people can "feel" LOVE after only months of getting to know each other when i'm still searching for it all my life. i take my hats off them, really.

i've heard some saying its "real".. only after a couple of months.. even after saying that at the previous relationshp.. they forgot that they've said the same of love too! ~will the real love, pls stand up?~

and i'm really proud of my friends who've upkeep their love into matrimonial rites, of which i think its a whole lotta guts! bravo.

so shai and shikin. i love you both. to the max.

i hope you'll learn to accept each other's flaws even after marriage. to love each other with your might and to provide for each other and your kids in future.. insyaALLAH. my prayers for you, always.

takmo i lurve you. you lurve me skarang jer. and then say its a real?



niwae, enjoy the pixes in my slide show...

dear abg..

i love you like a brother. you're one of a handful that i've met from AM (of which i go through a thorough regime in turning online friends to personal friends)..

bukan eksyen arrh peh berbual.. but its a matter of choice..

and today you've told me something that i refuse to believe.

i will not make that happen, really. cos i am not the best choice of girlfwen material.. hahaha. with your charm.. pls.. you deserve better.

pls dun even utter the word of falling for me.

i dun wish for it to happen. not that i dun like you as a person or have anything against you.. but i just would love to keep this sista-bro relationship with you. FOR KEEPS.

if you need to know abg.. i love you. for whom you are.

i know you love me too..

by all the incessant naggings i get from you when i do something wrong.

for your prayers when i was down and pats on my backs wen i was going thru the worst in life.

abg. one request. pls sing kekasih gelapku for me. dedicated to me..

and pls bring me along during the finals. i wanna see you win.

i love you abg Tedny. i really do..

~pouts~