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salaam Friday people.

i'm gonna blog bout my insecurities for today. strong headed. kepla batu giler. loudmouth. straightforward as i am.. i'm only human.

so blog community.. LAYAN WA ouhkay hari nie..

i'm waaay bout talking bout my past lurve. which has reached a negative grand finale like somehow 4 years ago. and 4 years ahead, i've been singular.

and suddenly i kinda forgot how to fall in lurve.

was it the fuzzy feeling?

was it the sheepish smiles?

was it the warmth when you sit beside each other?

dangs! i forgot arrh.

but i think i'm feeling all those i've written above and a whole lot more..

i dunno. i dun even trust myself now in lurve..

yeah. i've dated extensively. but i've yet to find solace in a relationship, until recently.

no. not any one of my nearest fwens know bout this chap.

cos after a couple of disastrous dates.. i've kept things on a low. yeah.. L.O.W.


he's not gorgeous. not michael scofield-ish. but he's just him. shy. coy.

but he's got a gorgeous smile. a lil dimple when he smiles.

and so. meanwhile i'll just attempt to work things out with him. slowly. and perhaps surely. insyaALLAH.

so people. what should i do? opening the forum for this glorious friday.

can someone hand me this book...

~FALLING IN LURVE FOR DUMMIES~






~senyuman manis. memikat kalbu~

i'll hold ya hand tight...

salaam all.

today, in the morning i was greeted my a piece of not too good news.

his father passed on. his mentor. his pillar of his success in life. his educator. his imam.

"awak. ayah dah meninggal" that was the text that was received this morning. i picked up the courage to give him a call. cos momentarily.. my mind flashed back to an event of my past.. when momma went.. one subuh..

my heart wrenched. i was very much affected. cos i could feel how he's feeling rite then. i felt that loss before.

only yesterday, i advised him on 'preparing for the worst'. i felt heavy to put dwn the phone with him ysterday. the line snapped off, unknowingly.

thinking that his batt died on him.. i just texted him goodnite.

i woke up at about 2am in the morning, having a heavy heart.. and so i woke up, went to khidmat diri and prayed. i did my hajat prayers for him. for his well being. and for his dad's speedy recovery too.

i texted him, "I woke up a few mins ago.. Done up my wudhu' and solat sunnah. I logged on to see if you've read my msgs. Tuff luck. I'm worried laarh awak.. Awak kat mana :'("

i didnt had a good nite.. i woke up for subuh. even with a heavier heart.. he didnt texted me. no notes for me. no missed calls. nothing.

i prepared for work. logged on to work system. while i was drafting an email..

i got that fateful text. i said my prayers for the demise of his ayah.

His voice was jaded when i got thru his mobile. Obviously lost. Almost definitely.

One of my text to him.. "You love ayah rite? Then have him as a pillar for ya success in da future. He has paved da way for you.. U have to continue his journey. Da only diff is only he's not here physically"

Heads up, lurved one.

Ayah went, leaving his legacy to you. You're a grown up man. Execute it like a man. For you're worthy of that.

Pls be strong. I'll be beside you. I'll hold your hand.

Alfatihah untuk ayah anda..

somehow or rather.. i need to feature this sweet chap...

he aint heavy, he's ma bro

he posted this on my friendster profile

Posted 16/08/2007 09:56
Bismillahirrahmannirahim...

What can I say abt my dear sister?Hmm..

Got to know her for almost 7 months...and for one second..I've never regretted knowing her...

A darlinq sister...although not related by blood...I've regarded her as my own sister...always there to support her sisters and brothers...

A caring confidante...she never fails to lend a listening ear and hear my quandary...always there for me in terms of bad and good times...

Kakak...for all these 7 months I've got to know you, my life has definitely changed for the better..U've made me realise certain things that I've been keeping to myself all these while...

Kak Aishah..u've been a blessing to all of us...especially me...and for that I thank you..

Get well soon k kakak...(okay this one cos i was helluva coughing after we came back from kl)

what can i say? i'm humbled...

i lurve you too adik afiq.. ekhs. dia tak cakap he lurves me ekkhs? tapi apa2pun i love him laarh

salaam all.

i'm sick. reported sick for high fever and flu.. yet again. i never recovered..

aniwae, i'm now under medication. whilst waiting for the medication to kick in make me rest.. i'm lying on my bed, lazily to do this post.

came back from kuala lumpur with the genq.. featuring shai and shikin..

so i dun really have much to say.. but if you look at the pixes and discover the facial expressions.. it shows all.. we're happy to be around each other..

like wat i've always shared. kita kawan nangis dan tawa..






okay laarh people. i think the medicine's kicking in already.. my head noneng2 already.

see you when i get betta yeah? insyaALLAH.

can someone. or just anyone..

BRING BACK THE SINGAPOREAN IN ME?

i feel like a tourist in the streets of orchard road.

i am travelling out of my country just as when my nation is celebrating its 42nd bday.

can you feel me.. i'm feeling rotten for not even knowing the 'national day' song as much as we memorised those old ones.

i am not looking forward for the fireworks as much as my heart was pumping with pride during the years of adoloscence.

do you feel the same?

does it bore you down?

oh gosh. i dun like the feeling. but like i've said. CAN SOMEONE JUST KNOCK me OFF?