Monday, June 29, 2009
dead but breathing
well, it finally had to end this bitter way we had no more left to give no matter what we say
you love me so, but its over, just let me go, we're going nowhere, i feel like im dead but breathing i know because my heart is beating, just let me go cause its over
i think my happiness had just been murdered.i was quite happy about my crim pro marks & i was so excited to tell you. i even told you, nothing anyone say today is gonna bring me down. & what did you tell me? "oh really?"
little did i know, that you'll be the person who will literally bring me down on my knees. tsk. are you happy now, man?
in anycase, MLOCT was very draining just now. we had to use what mr andrew chia called a clone system, the LEAP system. (go google bizibody) since its clone, the real one must be about the same & the system gives me headache. i hope CT Ho doesn't use that, i'll just die. i need to get use to it, i guess.
i can't hold your hands through this again, we keep lying to ourselves, pretending to be something else
im sorry that i couldnt stay to fill your empty space, it's alright you'll be fine i know you'll be better off in a different place, it's alright you'll be fine
-Lesley Roy
(this is one of the few songs that can actually make me cry... wah emo!)
i made a move at 10:53 PM
Sunday, June 28, 2009
packing up
Happy Birthday, Syimir! =)) he look so embarrassed when syirah & i attacked him at midnight in his bedroom to wish him.
he's going to have his surgery in two days time =)) i can't wait. i'm going to visit him & take his picture. his first experience in a hospital.
my uncle and cousins came over & we played badminton. match after match. awesome cause there wasn't any wind blowing.
& my mother played one game. i find it very funny. haha
sometimes, she just stand at her spot waiting for the shuttlecock to come to her. i think she's too heavy to run. HAHAHAHA.
i finally wrote in my new journal. i've been procrastinating cause i dont look forward to writing down about my falling out. but, i finally did. & i cleared out his stuffs & they're now in a plastic bag sitting on top of my cupboard.
there's still some stuffs that i can't just put away. like my corkboard cause my parents will ask too many questions & i dont feel like casting some bad light in his directions yet or ever for that matter. & my Zachary Glazer Burne. i can't put him away cause i will be iPodless. i gave Ferhan my other iPod, you see.
i have running nose. im very tired. i have been running after my nose for one whole day. it's like a dam. you know? you know my pain? its okay.
i know you i can't believe, i could just leave it wrong & you can't make it right im going to take off tonight, into the night
somewhere far along this road he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. (actually, it should have been she lost her soul to a man so heartless...)
-Heartless
i made a move at 9:28 PM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
we're always walking on eggshells... ...
remember remember the 5th of November? no.. remember the last time i said im craving for buffalo wings with butter rice? i finally got it! =))
i spend like 1 hour plus of my Saturday getting lost. i think it's very enriching. i fought through traffic, climbed stairs, got chase away by the police, threatened to cry when i was told to take a short cut through a field of grass (very very long grass. how come they never cut?), worried about getting rape in broad daylight & nicoll highway collapsing beneath my feet. i'm a very paranoid person.
i watched Transformers! im going to watch it again with Syimir & Insyirah Burne soon =))) i must be the only idiot who sang to Green Day's 21 Guns when it was playing in the movie. the song damn shiok you also must you know feeling feeling the moment a bit. (what kind of sentence is this?!)
li ying likes predicting what im going to do. "she's going to fold her sweater now, open her zip, put it inside, zip it back & then say okay im done lets go.." you think you fortune teller now is it?
i enjoy my day today. =)) in a way, im glad i say yes to accompanying you to watch Transformers.
wonder why is it that you don't see what you've change since we first met & how much that is killing me i know that i will always miss the butterflies of our first kiss & how you used to smile so easily...
- Hoobastank
i made a move at 10:44 PM
Friday, June 26, 2009
8 mile
& in the end, i didnt go for CPA lecture. i woke up at 6.50 thinking, 'God, this is so early. so diabolical.." & immediately went back to sleep. i woke up at 8 cause li ying & ferhan sms me at the same time, "MJ is dead." i tell you, very nice way to start the morning by having news of death. awesome.
& in the end, i didn't get back my Crim Pro individual project results back either. my day in school is so wasted. i went to spend half an hour in a 2 hour class going through 3 questions. good, no?
badminton with liying is awesome! i perspire a lot. (can have more cheesecake now) liying's badminton racket flew off! it freaking flew off a couple of steps away from her. so, she decided the next best course of action was to roll around on the floor clutching her stomach laughing, instead of actually going over to pick her racket up. she roll & roll with her long hair flying around & she looks so very weird all i could do was stare at her.
i went to the library to watch Flags of Our Father. the first time i watch it, it was a-okay. the second time is better. & ryan phillipe is hot. =))
im watching 8 Mile. im very proud of my 8 Mile dvd. i bought an r21 movie when i was 15! awesome shit. aww maggot, you screwing a G with a HIV (eminem rock socks, okay!)
you never alter, you're always you.everything's breaking.
we can't be honest, we call it off we got the choice if it all goes wrong
-the ting tings
i made a move at 10:26 PM
Thursday, June 25, 2009
i'll leave when the wind blows
i had three different kinds of cheesecakes over three different days this week. i've got cottage cheesecake, oreo cheesecake & new york cheesecake.
we sat at Bakerzin & ordered 7 plates of cheesecakes(no, there weren't 7 of us). you should have seen the look on the waitress face. i like the classic idiotic look. & when the bill came it was more than what we paid for lunch at BBQ Chicken. Haha.
CPA & Civ Pro results are in. in general, i did okay.
i also got some counseling by my CPA tutor. i don't know why but she expects to see me in lecture every Friday. as such, i will drag my lazy feet to lecture tomorrow at NINE. & to start my tutorial. very very leceh.
i'm going to get my Crim Pro individual project tomorrow. this is scaring me. because of company law. because of company law. i'd rather not history repeats itself. thanks, save me the pain.
i feel a jolt, like a bullet just pierce through my heart every damn time i open my facebook homepage and see the notification at the side bar. (actually, if jolt double confirm triple guarantee cannot be bullet piercing already what. okay la, taser gun. you don't make sense you know or not, aidah?!)
i feel sad la you know. you don't know nevermind. i dont expect you to know.
talking about bullets, syirah made me watch the video of Neda, the girl shot dead during the protest. (so much for my ignorance is bliss la. you know, i refuse to read or watch the news for the past one month because i wanted to be trouble free. but now, i even know the birth month of ahmadinejad; he share MY birth month.)
it's very sad, you know. im beyond depressed. i got break up to handle then watch an innocent girl dying on the street just added to the sadness. very sad, indeed. i hope, you know, God bless your soul & maybe place you in Heaven. i want to go Heaven, too.
the blood pouring out of her mouth and nose and her eyes rolling back as she nazak on the street. ohmygod. it's heart wrenching. & her dad was there, its not fair. parents should never ever witness their children's death. what is the magnitude of my problems compared to theirs?
my forefathers fought for freedom. (i just watch the video for apel class) & then now, people all macam macam they want from the government. say LKY rule with iron grip all. aiyah, we just live peacefully cannot is it? too much to ask for?
you want opposition all also for what? for what! not say the opposition also confirm can give you this kind of lifestyle now. make singapore prosper or what. (ehh, where's my cabinet of ministers? li ying? excuse me minster for home affairs... calling 1 2 3)
sorry, im not coherent. gotta get that right. bye.
is it fair to say you played me for a fool? is it fair to say you've used me, that's the truth? you've been lying all the time & now i'm mad.
-pyscho bitch
i made a move at 8:41 PM
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
let it go
i think that is very hot. like melting my heart kind of hot.
i think my Plaintiff's & Defendant's file looks horribly tarnished. good god. not cool.
i want to watch Transformers eh. & we planned to go this Friday but my sister has ignored me and proceeded to go to sleep when i told her that we've got to book the tickets already. i think people enjoy ignoring me.
it's time people take me seriously. like my nightmare, for example. wahh, how can they laugh at people's nightmare. li ying, you go have a nightmare tonight! GO I TELL YOU! then you tell me about it tmr! i want to laugh and clap my hands.
anyway, today is our third week wedding anniversary. awww, so sweet right. i shall accept your congratulations tmr. be sure to congratulate us. (this one obvious what im delirious already. don't be gay la you all)
you know when you feel so low, you don't feel nothing at all? that must have been me yesterday. today, well today i could laugh and make jokes & i think it haven't sink in yet. i'll think about it now and again and miss all those things that was once mine. & learn how to let go of the dreams i once had and the dreams i shared with him.
but, i think life is full of promises. i'll just wait for it... one day, it'll play out for me.
i made a move at 10:40 PM
Monday, June 22, 2009
i wish you never looked at me that way...
you'll make it through the pain, another hurricane...
i wore my Senses Fail band shirt to school today & i go through my day in a daze. i think my senses really did fail. i nearly took the wrong toothbrush, use the wrong shampoo (good thing i never wear someone else's bra...) stood at the bus stop trying to think what's the bus number im supposed to actually take. safe to say, im very disoriented.
i got submission to do today. like file my defence, the F&BP & of course MLOCT. i go to school very unprepared.
i sat in class trying hard to learn about Discovery of documents. i realized i don't need to know about this discovery. i already know all i need to know about discovery. it sucks to discover the ground you've been standing on all these while is just an illusion.
i spend 3 hours of lab at Yahoo Answer trying to dispel this depression by reading about other people's depression. so what if i find some sort of comfort and joy at other people's misery? does that make me horrible? in any case, a 16 year old don't know what to do when she heard her parents having sex and asked for help from yahoo-ians. a 15 year old wants to have sex with his girlfriend and ask for the best place to do it. go get a driving license first, boy.
my civ pro tutor is very attentive apparently. he asked if im okay cause i don't look happy & i don't know what to answer, so Aishah went "it's monday." haha, awesome answer.
i had a good time at coffee bean . i think the cottage cheesecake is very nice. it has this cool spicy (orangey) aftertaste.
& i don't feel anything. i just feel betrayed. i feel numb. i don't feel sad. i don't even feel the anger that is supposed to be there. i think im in a horrible state of shock (yes like the band!) that i just shut down (okay so now, im like a computer. next, my hard drive ie my mind is gonna crash).
my limewire has been giving me problems. so, now you also want to act hot & cold with me? limewire, that's not very nice.
you know, i don't deserve all this. i really don't. i don't know what you were thinking. maybe you weren't at all. to think i was actually feeling sympathetic when you told me whatever 'she' did to you... what was i thinking? oh maybe i wasn't, yes.
i feel stupid. i feel beyond idiotic. (HEY! i haven't use any vulgarities yet! wee.) you say im smart, i think you're smarter. you're a true master at the art of deception, right? you had no idea how your words and your actions and your lies could actually affect someone?(AHA! finally the anger is here! i do feel after all!)
i dont miss him, i miss the person i thought he was. & i wish you all the best on your way.
i think this has been one very long unorganized post. till i can actually gather my thoughts, i'll bid you all goodnight.
i made a move at 9:01 PM
Sunday, June 21, 2009
you were the best i ever had
happy 16th birthday =))) have an awesome awesome ass kicking o level exams! (its the greatest exam in your life)
moving on, my photos are here!!
i really like getting a post addressed to me as Aidah Burne =))) im gonna do it more often now. bytheway, syirah had an awesome time deleting information for the photo & i only realised she has changed Pasir Ris to Paris. very appropriate indeed. because a normal pasirian will always refer to our hometown as Paris.
where are you? Paris interchange.
where should i meet you? Paris Mrt.
i met baidura for breakfast yesterday. she drove me around pasir ris for a bit today =)) she's still having holiday next week. & i have to go back to school. (weee! *insert sea lion hand clapping act*)
it's a very very weird day with ferhan yesterday. because we can talk about the issue and i can make a joke (i cannot stand very serious situation, it kills me) and one hour later he can ask me what we are now and i make another joke and we talk and we laugh at something and i become serious and then i cannot stand the fact that im serious so i make another joke.
as such, it's safe to deduce my life is a joke. yes, now, laugh, or i'll kill you.
im going to write a note. bye.
bytheway, my mother made me take a diabetes test using my grandmother's kit & of course, i screamed and screamed (i dont like sharp objects so please refrain from carelessly holding a knife when you're in my presence) & my glucose level is normal. awesome. more coke more cheesecake more sweets.
i made a move at 1:10 PM
Friday, June 19, 2009
theory of a deadman
thanks for the scars. & oh of course, for the fresh wound.
we're just broken. broken little souls. we'll never be okay, you should have believed me when i said so just now. you should believe me now, we'll never be okay.
so much for the here and now, it's all the same now i wish everything would change you can't believe a word he says, you can't believe
it's not enough. & it's never gonna be
maybe, next time, you'll learn to put your money where your mouth is. i don't want to stay and be miserable. i don't want to be victimised anymore.
& i've had enough. i told myself i'll never cry over a guy & i won't. but i will cry for myself, for being so stupid, for falling for everything that you said, for allowing myself to get hurt over and over again.
i hope your scars run deep. thanks for the memories.
i made a move at 10:25 PM
Thursday, June 18, 2009
you're going to be with me?
i can imagine 'izzul like that. i find it very amusing when i ask him about his latest girl conquest. =))
yesterday, after many months of not actually touching my tv remote, i switch to MTV & watched Wilber Pan feat Akon; Be With You. somehow, i find him attractive in a very metrosexual way. (you know, metrosexual guys have this aura about them, like Zachary Quinto for example)
Going back to my source of all things Chinese, Henderik has informed me that he's american born taiwanese. okay so, he's not chinese, my bad. they all look alike in a way. i think wilber pan looks like Dennis from Suci (or maybe it's just my imagination -.-). inanycase, lets not forget that the girl in that music video is very pretty, whoever she may be. in fact, quite hot.
i like the original and this asia version of be with you. i like all things Akon, bet you didnt' know that.
& lets not forget my awesome Silverstein who has never fail to soothe and calm me down with their Discovering The Waterfront whenever Ferhan annoys me.
You asked for my heart, you know that i'm down, but not the way you lie to me & tear it all apart & beg for me to stay
i've sailed off to sea, im not coming back
because i will live forever we don't belong together i know i'll feel better, one day when i can make it through
i've sailed off to sea, im not coming back... ... ...
i made a move at 7:55 PM
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Accident & Emergency
the public don't dwell on my transmission cause it wasnt televised
i have been watching movies over the past few days. i've watched Perfect Strangers (2007) starring Halle Berry & Bruce Willis. the plot has credit but it's very slow and draggy with the only action appearing towards the last 10 minutes of the movie.
then today i watched State of Play(2009) with Russel Crowe, Ben Affleck, Rachel Adams & Helen Mirren. Again, the plot is good with this pretty good twist at the end but the movie is draggy with too much dialogue going on and too little action. well, i think this is justifiable since well its a political thriller. i just didn't expect Ben Affleck to be the bad guy, kind of shocking.
i thought, that'll be about what i could expect from my day but when i woke up at 7pm, i caught my grandmother tending to my mother who was obviously in pain. we made our way to the doctor and then to Changi Hospital A&E.
syirah & i had to wait outside cause there can only be one person accompanying the sick. we had qi ji for dinner (if you call eating at 10 having dinner) where this malaysian man started hitting on my sister and i by singing Geylang si Paku Geyland and Di Tanjong Katong song. why little man, you want to go geylang?
my mother has hemorrhoids. if you want to know what that is, please go google it, i don't want to tell you the layman's term. cause the layman's term sounds so damn weird.
that should sum up my day. pretty brilliant, if i may say so.
i'm going to watch Taking of Pelham 123 tomorrow =)) like finally.
i don't like people who gives hope to others and then so easily dash it. false hope don't give people comfort & you're very brilliant at shredding people's hope right?
& then all you can say is you're sorry. do you really mean it, im beginning to wonder? or has it all turned into a routine for you? at the sign of an impending disaster, you said sorry. "im sorry, im sorry. please forgive me."
yes sure, i'll forgive. because, guess what? it's just routine.
be proactive, before i get in-your-face-active.
this has been one long post. goodnight
i made a move at 10:39 PM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
evil angel
(i miss Don Flack!)
those to who evil is done, do evil in return
yesterday was good. =)) we had crim pro meeting which was veryy cool with a lot of out of topic discussion going on.
li ying, hend and i went to qiji for dinner before going to coffee bean where they bought raspberry cheesecake to share with me! =)) & you know how jubilant i feel when i get cheesecake? we tried doing the practice test questions from Liying's S.A.T book which was quite fun.
& i was very confident saying area of a circle is 1/3 x length x breadth x height. very nice, aidah. i kind of miss doing maths. i was supposed to be giggling one whole day cause liying wants me to, but, giggling is such hard work and honestly, i cannot stand hearing myself giggling like a hyena. most of the time, i burst out laughing like some person with mental breakdown.
i met Ferhan afterwards. =)) i didnt't really expect him to since i thought he'll be happier staying in camp. he got takoyaki for us & im craving for it again now. must ask my mother to bazaar, already.
& today. today is another boring day. very boring that i am very tempted to play my Call of Duty 4 from the first level again. need to go buy sims 3. my wallet now only got 20 cents. how to buy?
im actually streaming Drag Me To Hell and i still haven't make up my mind whether or not i want to watch. the last time i want to watch (which was at 11pm) Ferhan went, "no, don't watch later at night you cannot sleep, you scared to go toilet then you cry." he thinks im seven.
weee, i can't wait for Friday =))
oh, i just received a new message from Apple. confirm talking about getting Father's Day gift or telling me about the new iPhone.
i made a move at 1:38 PM
Sunday, June 14, 2009
starvation strikes back
to the best of my knowledge as long as i'm hungry i'm a national hazard.i think i might even lashed out at my Minister (who is going on a holiday! hello sir, i want to join!)
there are many things today that i'm very displease about. like the fact that everytime i sms something, Ferhan will reply with a "hahahah ;)" i'm not exactly sure how i'm supposed to respond to someone who replies me with a haha and a smiley face. am i supposed to like laugh back? cause when will that end exactly?
& now that i have informed him exactly what i typed, he has either ignored my msg, gone missing or too busy.i think sometimes, life is wonderful like that. i will also go missing tonight. watch me.
& i need a lecturer to help me inform my mother that one still have to return to school for projects during a holiday. i thought after nearly close to 3 years, she would understand. apparently, some things just escapes her. therein lies the essence of evil.
there's nothing remotely edible in my house. well there is. something worth two days old, i suppose. i'm going to die of hunger, be consumed by my horrible bad mood and will set forth to murder someone just because.
i have also just successfully waste 5 minutes of your teenage life reading this post. awesome. that's the risk of bloghopping. i assure you, i can be very cynical when i want to.
have a wonderful day. or what remains of it.
i made a move at 6:56 PM
Saturday, June 13, 2009
jerk chicken
'your lies won't hide your flaws'
well, i have been spending my time with my family for the past two days. =)) i think its nice since i'm always not available when its the school time.
anyway, mama brought us to BBQ Chicken today for a very advance birthday celebration of sorts for Syirah & Syimir & Father's Day. i swear, honest to God, i didnt know it was father's day & still don't know when exactly is this father's day thing.
i've been telling my family members how much i wanted to eat buffalo wings with butter rice. & my dad actually went, 'ehh, buffalo is kerbau. buffalo where got wings, ain?!" hahaha.
this is by far the cutest most overwhelming birthday party invitation card i've ever received from my cousin. wait, from anyone for that matter.
i went to meet Ferhan after dinner with my family. & told him that Hannah Montana the movie is like HSM just to make him watch it. Haha.
Hoong Li Ying is scaring me. She's acting like some kind of mad psychologist trying to explain my state of mind when i told her that i dont watch porn. so she went, "you watch a movie with nudity and sex" & a little more of stuffs which i can't share. scary, li ying, scary.
Cruel Intentions FTW =)) hahah.
i want to watch The Taking of Pelham 123.
the power of relationship lies with whoever who cares less. (i like =))) But power isn't happiness & i think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less
-Ghost of Girlfriend's Past.
i made a move at 10:27 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
no one believes us
when i hear your voice, it's drowning in the whispers
i have been thinking a lot lately. about so many different things, particularly about what i did a week ago.
somehow, i just can't put my mind to rest, you know. it's very distracting. & i tried so hard to believe you but i just can't help but worry.
i think i'm just going to live in the moment & whatever happens in the future, it'll happen. there's nothing i can do about it, anyway. if i can rectify it, i'll do it to the best of my ability. if i have to make amends, i'll do it if its necessary. if i have to let go, then i'll let it go.
it is perfectly normal to be cynical and psychotic in this current world we're living. trust me.
anyway, Zachary Quinto's birthday was like 9 days ago on June 2. & i forgot. i think im an awesome fan. haha.
i spend my day doing my MLOCT orientation booklet which requires a little too much work one which i secretly enjoy doing. i think it's kind of fun. i'm still not done yet. then tomorrow, i'll start on crim pro research. honestly, truth be told, i don't know what's going on. i mean, i'm not quite sure how to start the research. so, hello, law people, a little help won't go amiss in the long run ;)
my mother unloaded the burden of doing this MOM Labour Force survey on me today. now, instead of on government service it should be on sarina's service. it's a laborious task. it's the ultimate lecehness, this survey. i hope you get what you need, MOM. you wasted one hour of my life. don't worry, i don't take offense. we're cool.
& i like what i see at msn =)) Kelly Brook has the world's sexiest celebrity body, according to a poll of 1,500 British men. The curvy UK actress beat Hollywood beauty Megan Fox into second place. Awesome =)) as hot as Megan Fox is, i still like Kelly Brook
goodday. i hope you enjoy your day & i hope you have an awesome day tmr. cause tmr seems to be another adventureless day for me.
i made a move at 8:01 PM
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Love Ryan Maximillian Burne
this is getting a bit out of hand.
my list of 'Things for Aidah Burne's Personal Pleasure", wrong as it may sound is growing ever so large im freaking myself out. in addition to a camera i so desperately want, i have now added an iPhone 3GS to that list.
please. need a job. want an iPhone. i still think the camera function needs a little more salvation. i mean from a 2 to 3 mp its quite ermmm redundant. now, that aside, this i really must say.
my legs died. let me just tell you my little adventure today.
i walked from Suntec cross Singapore River to Raffles Place Mrt to find an exit F to Prudential Tower then walked past AIA Building to get to TPI Building (i found my firm & i see dian's & sham's firm across the street! hello people! we're less than 3 mins walk away from each other!) & then we walked to Tanjong Pagar Mrt searching for Lee & Lee. i wanted to commit suicide.
im beginning to wonder why the shifted cause had they stayed at Capital Tower our life's misery would not have existed. we ended up at Starbucks at Prince Edward then continue our little adventure and ended up at MAS (Monetary Authority of Singapore). then henderik & li ying felt like we're lost.
with the help of my awesome Ryan Maximillian Burne (my phone! -.-) and location id with awesome GPS tracker i manage to find the correct direction. me, AIDAH BURNE, found the correct place!
im so proud of myself my phone. i like how the little dot representing me moves when i move!
O-HOHOHO! i feel like im in some movie with 'turn left' while looking at myself on the map. then from UIC Building where Lee & Lee is situated we went in search of a busstop when i saw "ehh, isnt that Lau Pa Sat?!". Holy smokes, we went one big round, got lost only to realise that we could have cut through Lau Pa Sat from my law firm to get to Li Ying's law firm! journey to Lee & Lee from raffles: one hour
journey back to raffles: 15 minutes then we went to search for UOB Building (Hend's firm) which turns out to be the one at Boat Quay -.- in the end, we sat there by Singapore River with me telling them about my pretty sad relationship problems and watching people do yoga. i have an awesome one week wedding celebration.
what about you? how was your tuesday? =)) you know what?
i get hungry typing this so im going to eat my grandmother's wonderful nasi minyak (oil rice! hahaha) & have my cheesecake.
enjoy your nocturnal activities! =))
i made a move at 9:45 PM
Monday, June 08, 2009
all for love!
i kind of like those times when we bought ice cream and milkshakes and talk nonsense.
or, like the picture, sit at the stairs talking nonsense. this is the life.
contrary to popular belief, i haven't plan my future.
i suffer from severe depression at the thought that NUS & SMU are not very aidah-friendly.
i get the jitters when i hear people talking about SAT exams. i might just go take the free online SAT practice test but say, i fail it, i might even fall into an ever deeper pit of depression.
I'm not very sure where i fit in God's grand scheme of events.
won't you please tell me, dear God?
i think i'll just go get married. be a wonderful housewife, sit at home dutifully and whipped up wonderful meals for my husband. don't need to worry about my future. Hey Fashanu, you want to marry me? I'll make cereals for breakfast, fried eggs for lunch, toast bread for dinner. everyday.
i don't know the difference between an omelette and scramble eggs.
i really should just plunge head first into the valley of the dumb.
what more, i'm not even sure what is up with MLOCT.
i have been desperately trying to draft my employment letter for one Joey Too for the past 2 hours & i came up with "Congratulations! You've been offered the job!". if i had it MY way, i might even insert a smiley face or two. to make myself feel better, not to make Joey Too feel all sweet and smiling inside.
i even find such unspeakable sense of relish in updating my blog everyday. this is such a stark contrast to Ferhan's 'i have other things to do then update my blog.' you see now, such callous remarks thrown in my face.
you know what, my father thought me and ferhan added meat in our cheesecake when he bit into undissolve gelatine and got all panicky cause he thought gelatine is not halal. & i find such joy telling him gelatine is made from pig's fat. HAHAH. he knows im joking. ;)
& you know what! i've been listening to sappy old love songs.
& its making me all melodramatic. & missing people.
this is unbecoming of me.
i'll be the wall that protects you.
from the wind and the rain.
from the hurt & the pain
let the one you hold be the one you want, the one you need
YOU SEE!!!
end of the world.
i made a move at 11:24 PM
Sunday, June 07, 2009
here we are; in the best days of our lives
the weekend has been great.
syirah & i owed my mother many family outings due to our very busy schedule.
well, me mostly. so today, we went Changi Beach.
i encountered a few very disturbing scenes.
Like one, there was this two men, im pretty sure came from China. they were swimming around and all seem normal until, one of them stood up and waded out in his boxers. like boxersbriefs (i know cause my boyfriend educated me on the different kind of undergarments for guys) & i can see his erection. & all i could do was look at my mother while my mother stared back at me in exasperation. nightmare number 1
the toilet at Changi Beach is in serious need of upgrading & cleaning.
two out of five of its cubicle has used panty liners on the floor. with like blood stain.
& when im disturbed i become vulgar. i went "what the fucking hell is this? this is fucking disgusting! oh, fuck." & the makcik tudung all stare at me. HAHAH. nightmare number 2
nevermind. that aside, i had a splendid day.
& that's the cheesecake Ferhan & i made =))
i went to meet him just now at night.
& i got creme brulee =)) saya happy.
we were talking about cameras & he wants me to get a 450D when i say i want to get a camera.
okayy, if i can save enough ;)
i'm going to spend my day tomorrow writing a manifesto.
okay, not a manifesto. im just going to write a story of my awesome D-Day conquest.
yes. =)) then maybe, if i feel like it, i'll squeeze some school work inside.
Now i'm jumping up & down, she's he's the only one around
& she he means every little thing to me
i've got your picture in my wallet
& your phone number to call it
& i miss you more whenever i think about you
& in a few more days, we'll hook up forever & ever.
- FM Static
WILL MEET MY INFAMOUS HUSBAND ON TUESDAY!
=)))
i made a move at 11:37 PM
Saturday, June 06, 2009
D-Day
remembering is the new form of suffering
today is 6 June.
today the Allied landed at Normandy Beach. & the fate of the world changed.
today marks the 65th Anniversary of D-Day.
i am not pro-nazi, Ferhan.
you of all people should know that.
today, i had my own personal D-Day.
the good & the bad. today, on a full moon.
today, we made oreo cheesecake. =))
which turns out good. i dont have the picture. the camera is with Ferhan.
& today, Ferhan is off for some trip for Misteri Jam 12 till 3 in the morning.
my parents actually allow me to go. im surprised. haha. but, with this ever persisting condition, they advised me not to. so, well here i am. i hope Ferhan sees his first supernatural. i really really hope he sees one. then it'll be awesome. but, i dont think he will, still, take care, boy.
ohmygod, this is a boring entry.
im so tired, i cant even laugh at my own entry.
im going off now.
goodday. happy D-Day =))
i made a move at 9:54 PM
Friday, June 05, 2009
chase the light
"its not the goal of Science to create weapons"
i like my life now.
i like how everything just slows down. no more mad rush to submit assignments.
i like how i can just get comfortable infront of Jimmy Machaidas with Restaurant City running at the background, a bag of Syimir's Potato Chips (must restock now that he's back), watching Hannah Montana & awesome documentaries online. i like this life very much.
yes, Syimir is back =))
but he's cycling now at 10.45 pm (-.-) so i guess i have to wait a little longer for his stories. he said his team won first =)) & 'izzul being 'izzul just got this new scar across his cheek. (refer to picture). actually that one i was just testing Ferhan's monochrome function hahaha
Ferhan managed to squeeze himself into my morning schedule when he so obviously doesn't fit in there. at 10.45 he can message me asking me to wake up cause he's on the way home. & i have to tell him that i have plans to meet Li Ying. you see, it's very difficult having dual relationship ;)
i managed to do my defence with Li Li Ying! Li Li Ying! Li Ying! (its my new cheer. i even have this awesome cheer for one of the lawyers at the firm im going for internship. ask & i might just tell you). save for the fact that i am cool, i deny li ying's status. will be meeting her & dian & maybe sham for mloct. god! mloct! god!
i went off to airport to meet Ifah, Bai & Farz for dinner.
me & bai had this little adventure where we try & manage to capture this little cockroach at our table at Popeyes. away with you, pest! we went Starbucks after that.
& i dont get people who WALKS when they're on the travelator.
what is the purpose of the travelator if you're gonna walk on it? i just find it tak masuk akal.
that'll be all for now, kids. im going to go watch porn... no, i mean, cruel intentions.
i made a move at 10:36 PM
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
countless lovers under the cover of the street
this week was definitely better as compared to the previous one.
i had an awesome time on monday & tuesday. 010609
the first day of the new month started off with CPA test which was do-able but very tricky. Ferhan took off that day so me, him, dian & sham went to Iluma to catch Monster vs Aliens. the movie is awesome. it's very very hilarious. we plead guilty for being the noisiest patrons in the cinema. i mean, why hold back your laughter right? just have fun, laugh out loud.   oh, we made ferhan pose like PCK's wife behind! Haha!
having said that, term 1 of senior year just ended. =))) i never wanted a holiday this much but the workload is killing me. i welcome this holiday with open arms.
020609
you probably could have guessed where we went from the first photo or just by paying a visit down at facebook where you could have seen our massive 260 photos.
it was a great awesome hot day. i had lotsa fun.
from our little grocecry shopping, to me & dian 'collapsing' on the train platform from exhaustion & couldn't care less if we look like minahs doing that, being stared at cause we had this huge homemade plastic mat, taking multiple jumpshot photos, lazing around, getting wet at the fountain, looking for coffeebean then settling at mc cafe.  
 
it's awesome.
i really want to do this again.
we end of our day at Orchard.
& i took 5 home and worried myself sick thinking im lost cause im at this highway & i dont know where i am. so i decided to go to sleep & wake up to wherever, i thought if im really lost, it'll be quite cool then it'll be own personal adventure at 10 pm at Godknowswhere.
taking 5 is like taking a bus to Johor Bahru. not cool.
i remembered thinking the same thing when Ferhan brought me to GWC for my birthday.
but atleast, i had Ferhan and his iPhone to occupy my time, yesterday, i had the night view and exhaustion for company.
li ying wants a long post from me.
so, i should include that, li ying & ferhan proposed to me in the same manner different days. a few days ago & a few months ago, respectively. you're awesome. although the 'ring' is of different sizes, i still like it. forever & always, people =))
i think li ying's dp is hot.
can someone please tell her that, cause she refused to believe me.
i love Seraphine. i really do love her.
she's great. she's awesome. she's everything nice.
i'm getting more intimate with her & i like how things are going on between the two of us.
although, she dont belong to me, it seems like we should be together, right Ferhan? HAHAH.
it's only just, like that.
i have darkness.
i have a ghost.
i have a terrorist.
i have a husband.
& we made an awesome picnic buddies.
i look forward to friday.
im going to meet baidura.
syimir will be home from camp. ( hello, i miss you! i didnt get to say goodbye & enjoy your camp!)
ferhan will be home from camp. (hi, i know im very influential in your life, but honestly, starhub sucks & im quite sorry you listened to me & got your line cut off so, i miss you cause i havent heard from you.)
i dont like camps.
they take away my life in all forms and shapes.
i made a move at 4:40 PM
Monday, June 01, 2009
just for the sake
NOOO! before you all panic! i didnt break my leg again.
in fact, two days ago, on May 30, it marks the first year anniversary of my fall in TP. =))
the time where i hated God so much. uh-huh. i will never ever forget May 30 2008 & February 25 2006 as much as i wont forget 31 August 2007. never ever. today was awesome.
i'm going to update about today, tomorrow. cause tomorrow seems to be like another promising day.
with photos, i hope. till then, i'm off to enjoy my bloody holiday!!!
i have never wanted a holiday as badly as this one! chill out, yo.
stop, relax, enjoy, party.
i made a move at 11:30 PM
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