.ofThatLostAmbition.

When I was younger, I thought I could be everything. I wanted both - that kick-ass CEO position (a true corporate whore) and a little family (only a husband tbh, for as long as I could remember kids were never part of the plan). I had that ambition, I had that killer drive. I was gonna bitch it out all the way to the top.

I lost it. I'm tired. I just want a good, stable life. Screw the title, the glory, and what not. I'm fine being just another girl with an RBF; existing.

.ofBeingOkay.

What if you could go back? What would you tell your old self?
That you, and your heart, would never be the same again but you will be okay.
It will never go back to how it was but you will learn to live with it.
You will be a better version of yourself and you will be okay.
That you will always find a way to make things right for yourself, no matter how hard you have to struggle, even when you think you can't anymore. Happiness is what you make of it.
You will be okay.

.ofCrumbling.

You put up a front when you're around people. You want to show that strength. It's when you're alone, in bed - you crumble to pieces. All that anger, the sadness, the steady stream of tears.

. f e a r .

You hesitate to share a lot of your feelings. You sometimes abruptly stop yourself mid-thoughts when the realization that you're ranting jolts you. All because of one fear.

The fear that he will then, once again, thinks you whine too much. That he will seek the cooler girl to "escape". That he will tell her - She goes on and on. She whines too much. She talks a lot.

THAT fear. Of being put in a bad light. By that one person. Hurts as fuck.

. t h e L i t t l e T h i n g s .

The little things matter. It's more important than anything else. It may seem trivial but don't underestimate the impact it has.
While it's easier, perhaps to some, better, to be the practical person, there's no harm in letting your guards down once in a while. Be romantic in your relationship. Don't let the passion dies down and leave it to practicality.
Tell the girl she's beautiful. Tell the guy he's so handsome he makes you go weak in the knees. It may seem silly but hey, what have you got to lose? If you don't do it then believe me, someone else will. How confident are you that it's not already happening?
Let's be realistic. Trust alone isn't enough in this world we now live in. One needs something to look forward to in an otherwise mundane life.
A few years down the line, she's not going to look back and reflect on the time you changed her car tire. She's going to look back and smile at the memory of you filling the room with pink balloons and flower petals.
Flattery, appreciation, acknowledgement, spontaneity, and every little thing in between. It comes a long way. People often forget that. It's human nature to take things for granted until it is gone.
While you may argue that these things can't build a relationship to last, remember that passion & excitement will keep it afloat. When you let all that fade away, do you think your pragmatic ways will be enough? Yeah, maybe, if something monotonous is alright with you.
Reflect a little. What have you got to lose? Go big or go home right?

. s n i f f .

I wanna sniff you like a curious kitten.

.ofSkypeDate.

Love is having that 5 minutes Skype date before calling it a night because you're both too busy with work to have a proper date night.

:)

Oh, hello!

I've missed you :)

.of.whatever.it.takes.

I miss you.
Like you wouldn't believe.
I do.
But just like everything else, I'm pushing it aside.
I can't say it's working in my favor.
I can only say that it helps me to keep on walking.
The occasional stumbles are inevitable, no?