This is a long post...I wrote it more for myself, as a reminder of some things I should never forget, but you're welcome to read it if you'd like.
This month (May 18, 2012) Karl hit 4 years as a bishop. What an experience it has been so far. How he has changed and grown. His ability to love, to care, to listen and be patient and calm has increased. He is often tired, spent, but I've seen the Lord sustain him in what he needs to do. Because of his position he is more aware of the fears, trials, temptations and even joys of those around him, not just those in his ward. There have been times of great stress and sadness, but also times of great joy and strength and even just plain fun.
I wish (yes I really do) I'd already known some of the things I've learned over the last 4 years at the beginning. It would have made some things so much easier. I guess right at this moment, I hope that I don't ever forget the things I've learned.
The last statement almost begs the question "So what have I learned?" Dare I share? It's not that there are any great revelations, more of a "I can't believe I didn't already know that!" Maybe I did already know some of these things, there was just lag time between knowing and being able to do.
The 1st year was tuff. We've always discussed just about everything with each other about work, family, church, etc. That first year (or more honestly the first couple of years) there was time spent on refiguring what we could and couldn't discuss. What could I ask, or not. Seeing that something was bothering Karl but knowing I couldn't ask specifics and I'd be the one frustrated. Many of his Bishop burdens can't be shared even in our marriage relationship. I've learned to say nothing, ask no questions, but hug instead. I've learned to say I'm sorry. I've learned to ask more general questions. I've learned to talk about something else. I've learned that Heavenly Father will support him and that he, that I, that we will get through the tuff stuff.
I've alway known it, but I've re-learned the Sunday School answers are truly important. You know the Sunday School answers to so many questions that are: pray always, pay a full tithe, read your scripture daily, regularly attend the temple, always attend your church meetings, fulfill your calling to the best of your ability, do your visiting teaching, take care in what you read, watch and listen to..... We are a normal couple that often struggles, we are so far from perfect and I have a wide rebellious streak in me. Sometimes I struggle mightily with some of these things. But I will testify that I know the difference in my life and my attitude when the gospel of Jesus Christ is being attended to and when even one or two of it's aspects are not. I've learned more about what needs to change in me, that I'm grateful for repentance and a merciful Heavenly Father.
I've learned more patience, with Karl, with myself, with others, with God. Karl's calling requires time. I have learned about waiting. The waiting is not all because of church responsibilities. There is also work, fire department and training for the big bike ride. All families must make sacrifices to support each other in all of those areas. There are some days and activities in our family that I protect fiercely and there have been some disagreements about what those might be, especially when there is an emergency (rarely do emergencies happen at convenient times). I have learned that even when I don't count something as an emergency I need to trust Karl and his judgement in the how and when of attending to those in his care, even his family. I have learned to wait patiently and with good will in my heart. It has taken time. I hope that this is something I never unlearn.
I've learned that I can forget things I don't need to know. It is a great blessing.
I have emptied my brain for the moment...perhaps later I'll remember more of what I've learned and I'll come back and add it. Until then....
