Family Mission Statement

Jeff and I wrote a Family Mission Statement. We used a variety of resources to put this together. We are going to work on memorizing it in 2016. I hope that this can be a tool to help all of us stay on track. We are so busy and I want to make sure that what we spend our time doing, thinking and becoming is in line with what we really believe.

The Murray Family

Motto: We Stick Together

Mission Statement

Our home is a school; here we will learn about the gospel, life skills, hard work, and respect. With utmost diligence, we will strive to live in accordance with our faith and beliefs. We will draw strength and light from these principles:

• Choices have a direct bearing on happiness, the well-being of family and friends, and those within your sphere of influence.
• The authority of the Holy Priesthood has sealed us together as a family. Make every effort to keep your covenants.
• Fight feelings of entitlement.
• Seek for truth. Strive for knowledge about your Heavenly Parents, Savior Jesus Christ, family, other cultures, and the Earth.
• We have a responsibility to the Earth. We are accountable to God as stewards of His creations. Your actions affect the quality of life for future generations.
• Be a traveler not a tourist.
• Building a testimony takes time; keeping one takes continual effort.
• Respect is imperative.
• Serve, teach, and love by the direction of the Spirit.
• We worship a fourth-watch God. We will not assume that He is not there, or He is not listening, or He doesn’t care, or we are not worthy. We will assume that we may not yet have reached the fourth watch.
• Our ship is tight like a dish. It will not sink.
• Take ownership of your mistakes. Don’t be ashamed of an apology or too proud to offer one.
• The answers are always in the scriptures.
• Hard work will never leave you with regret.
• Focus on the doctrine and principles of the gospel. Endeavor to keep your heart and mind centered upon Jesus Christ. He is the exemplar.
• Living with more kindness, more integrity, more laughter, more creativity, and more fresh air will always make you feel better.
• Material blessings carry with them the responsibility to work and serve.
• Our legacy is that we loved each other well.

Family Camp 2015

Years ago, my friend gave me the book, "What You Know First." It's a children's story about a girl who's family is going to have to move because of the Great Depression. She is heartbroken because she loves her home, but as she reflects upon her life she realizes that she can take a lot of it with her. This is my favorite part of the book:

"What you know first stays with you, my Papa says.
But just in case I forget
I will take a twig of the cottonwood tree
I will take a little bag of prairie dirt
I cannot take the sky.
And I'll try hard to remember the songs,
And the sound of the rooster at dawn,
And how soft the cows' ears are
When you touch them,
So the baby will know
What he knew first
And so I can remember, too."

Our family has arrived at a time and place where we are beginning to lay the foundational memories for their life. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what they will know first, what they will remember, and how these primary elements will shape their lives.

Lachlan turns ten in September.

This past spring I felt strongly that we needed to have a summer camp experience which focused upon family and the gospel. I had the impression that without strong family support my children wouldn't be able to meet the challenges in the world AND that they needed to know it wasn't just "mom and dad" teaching and living gospel principles. I've also been thinking about how important the LDS Girls Camp experience is, but I don't want my kids' first "really spiritual" experience to be at a church camp. I want their most memorable spiritual experiences to be with family. The people they are going to turn to for answers, comfort, and strength. I wanted them to see us open and vulnerable about our testimonies and to know it's okay to feel those feelings with us.

We love Family Camp.

We asked our dear friends, the Stauffers, to join us in Family Camp. Interestingly enough, we had several tragedies happen early in the summer which brought us together so closely--it was a confirmation to me that we were meant to do this together.

Emily and Eric have access to a cabin in Logan Canyon. Emily and I went up on Thursday night to hang up banners, fill the fridge with food, and make final preparations for the camp. The kids were so excited. Jack and Lachlan kept asking when it was time to go and Louisa screamed and danced when it was finally time to get in the car.

The kids fighting to stay on Big Stauffy's lap.

Here is a basic rundown of what we did at camp. I'd encourage everyone to think about how to make this an annual event with your family. We (the adults) met at 10:30PM on Saturday night [after getting home and putting the kids to bed] for a meeting to discuss how it went and what we can do better next year. The thing I will never forget is how tender all of our feelings were about what an incredibly spiritual experience it was for everyone. Emily said that there are so many times we do things "for the kids," but this turned out to be a complete recharge for her testimony as well. I would agree, 1000%! I almost can't reflect without tears. This has been one of the great moments of my life and an incredible blessing.

Our theme this year was: We Walk by Faith, Not by Sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

Friday afternoon: Departure
We arrived at the cabin and told the kids to find their rooms and help get them set up. There were no phones, TV, movies, or toys. The kids had a small zip line, stream, and tree swing outside. For the first hour they just kept saying there wasn't anything to do...they didn't want to play outside or really with each other.

I had printed a full camp agenda for the front door. There was also a job chart. Each child had responsibilities to fulfill at each meal. Lachlan and Paul had to help cook the Dutch Oven dinner. They were so excited. It was so fun to see them working together. Jenny and Jack set the table and helped get the little kids ready. Louisa blessed the food. We made it a point to all eat at the table together. Sam and Louisa are only four, but they helped clean up.

After dinner we held our Kickoff Program. Emily and I made sashes and badges. Each child got a sash with their name on it. I explained that at camp they would have an opportunity to earn nine different badges (service, hike, nature exploration, CPR, self-worth, building others, cooking, prayer, memorize scripture). The kids were so excited. We explained that camp was a time to learn new things, strengthen testimonies, and love each other.

Then we passed out their personal scripture journals. I had cut their names in vinyl and placed them on basic journals. Eric instructed them on the principle that if you are feeling the Spirit then truth is being taught. He explained that when this happens they should write it down so that they could reflect on it and learn even more. Lydia is only seven and we peeked at her journal later on--even at her age she had written some incredible things to remember.

Eric explained our theme, we read it out loud from the scriptures and encouraged the kids to memorize it so they could earn their scripture badge. He gave a great example of Indiana Jones (which Lachlan loved) walking onto the bridge--he couldn't see it and he had to have faith.

We learned both verses to the "Faith" song. The older kids helped the younger kids by keeping the tune going and then Jeff individually led the kids through a faith/trust walk. He blindfolded them outside and had them listen to their mother's voice as she spoke directions to them on a really basic obstacle course. At the end of the course, the kids climbed (still blindfolded) up on top of a picnic table. The dad's were very quietly standing behind the kids and the moms asked the kids to fall backwards--without the child knowing that the dad was standing behind them.

I'm not sure if this part was spiritual or hilarious. The Stauffer kids have some major trust issues, which we are still laughing about now [see video]. The kids loved it, my kids hadn't ever done anything like it before and both Jack and Lachlan said it was scary to fall back, but they were glad to know that dad was there to catch them. Louisa just wants any kind of attention. The end.

Paul listening to Emily guide him through the course.

Jack on the trust fall.

Lydia is not sure if she can do it. Sorry for the zip-line through the picture--oops.

After the program, we got the fire going for Woof-ems (oh, how I hate that name--so, so, bad) and marshmallows. Jenny offered a family prayer and I'd love to tell you that we sat around and told stories into the night...but it was more of a marshmallows on fire, on the ground, in the hair, with a raging hot fire with 4-year-olds trying not to critically burn their limbs kind of an event. Oh, and there were some pretty serious spider and large snake episodes in the mix as well. We got through the treats without killing anyone. We put the kids to bed and listened to a great rain storm.

We started Saturday early with a huge pancake, egg, sausage, and bacon breakfast. Again, the kids were doing the cooking and helping with the preparation. Emily and I set the table with their camp shirts and a large bag of snacks (each kid got their own bag). We put the snacks in the bag and told the kids that it contained all of their snacks for the whole day--there wouldn't be any more and they could eat them whenever, but when they were gone that was it. In hindsight, we should have waited until after breakfast because Sam ate two packages of fruit snacks and a Capri Sun instead of pancakes. There were some pretty classic episodes of fake crying from that kid that will seriously make me laugh for a long time.

Waiting for breakfast to be served.

After breakfast cleanup, we had a morning devotional. The kids brought their scriptures and journals; we sang our camp song, recited our theme, and had the kids open it with prayer. Each of the adults shared an experience of faith from one of their ancestors. Eric shared a story about his ancestor, James G. Willie (of Willie Handcart Co. fame), Jeff told about Gottlieb Berger, his mom's grandfather, who was a watchmaker in Switzerland and came to Providence to be a farmer and be with the Saints. I shared a story about being taught by my dad (Papa Billy) and Emily told about one of her ancestors who sacrificed much and died coming home from one of his missions. It was a huge hit with the kids. Paul wrote in his journal, "Hamburger was a watchmaker." So awesome. We also discovered that my great, great uncle was one of the Willie Handcart rescuers! To which Paul wrote, "The Murrays saved us." There were a few tears as we talked about how cool it might be for our ancestors to look down from heaven and see us sitting around as friends talking about how we were connected. Jack, Lachlan, and Jenny were bummed that they couldn't share a story, so next year we are going to give them more opportunities to share experiences and teach each other.

The next agenda item was the hike. Jeff and Eric gave the kids a quick review of hiking safety. Jeff had lanyards with a rescue whistle for each of the kids. There was a lot of reviewing the information regarding the whistle "is for emergencies only"--two of the Stauffer kids eventually "got lost" for the sole purpose of using it--"I was looking at the snails and all of a sudden I was all alone." Pretty funny. The kids also had small plant identification kits that I had made so they could earn their nature badge. The hike was only a mile but everyone had a great time, even Lydia (who hates hiking) said it was "super fun!"

After the hike, the kids played around the camp and we supervised our camp craft. I love this little quote. It was a simple project where they used modge podge to glue it to an 8x10 canvas.

We also had a bunch of puzzles for the kids to work on--one really hard one that Jeff and I tackled for most of the afternoon. We never really had an official lunch, we made sandwiches and had them out on the counter for the kids to grab as they ran and played. They were so bonded and into being outside with each other at this point that nobody wanted to sit down for a meal. The free choice snack bags also helped them keep their own pace.

Early in the afternoon we started our certifications:

• Eric had the kids with their scriptures. He taught them to "de-code" the scriptures and create if/then statements to search, find, and understand principles of the gospel. It seems really advanced, but the kids were understanding it so well! We have decided to incorporate this very simple technique into our morning scripture study. Even Louisa can understand what is happening when we state it as an "if we do/don't do this, then this will happen" format.

De-coding the scriptures

I love these dads!

• I rented (for $2) a CPR actar from the hospital. Each of the kids (not Sam and Louisa they were napping), went through a basic scenario where we pretended that they called 911 and started CPR. The hospital even threw in little wallet cards for the kids. It was so cool. Lydia was so proud that she could do it---even asked her mom if she would buy her one to practice at home. I was proud of Lachlan. I can tell that she is growing up and wants to learn grown up things. We told the kids that "if you are prepared, you will not fear."

Lachlan working on 30 chest compressions

• Jeff taught the kids some basic wilderness survival skills. The kids memorized the "Rule of Three" and then built a debris shelter. Holy crap. That shelter might forever be a permanent structure at the cabin. They were rooting through the forest dragging huge logs. Once the shelter was built they begged to sleep in it--although, pretty sure in the dark that thing would be terrifying. It was so fun because later that night Lydia was able to fully recite the rule! They really took their preparations to heart.

Jenny trying out the debris shelter.

• Emily did an awesome hand-washing activity. She sprayed each of the kids' hands with cooking spray and then sprinkled cinnamon sugar all over them. She taught them that germs are like cinnamon sugar on your hands and that dirt and grease keeps the germs from being able to be rinsed off quickly with cold water. She had the kids dip their hands in a bucket of cold water and try to get the "germs" off. They had to compare it with how well it worked in a bucket of hot soapy water. We talked about how important it is to keep our hands washed during the school year, especially before eating lunch.

Applying the germs.

Good-bye germs

Following certification, the kids had an hour of free time. They played. Louisa woke up from her nap and had a couple of stints in time out because she wants to make me old and crazy. The kids were begging to "earn their badges" so we sat them down and had an impromptu awards presentation. Each of the kids had to tell what they did/learned to earn their badge. They were so excited and danced around with their sashes. I thought they might think the badges were okay--I had NO idea that it would be such a highlight of their day. All of them kept asking what kind of badges they were going to earn next year--how cool is that that they were thinking ahead to next year's certifications.

Earning their badges.

Jeff made us a big Korean dinner with Bulgogi, lettuce wraps, dumplings, rice and fortune cookies. Paul and Jack helped cook all of the dumplings and the others helped get the table set for the meal. Everyone had chopsticks and it was so fun to do something different. We took the time to do high/low while we were all there together. It was an incredible (and slightly emotional) experience to listen to them talk about the best parts of their day. I told the kids that one of my favorite parts of the day was watching them love and play together. Emily and Eric are some of our best friends, but we don't always have our kids with us--what a blessing to see us really come together as a family. The Spirit was felt as we talked about the day.

After dinner, Emily and I cleaned the cabin. We decided to head for home late Saturday instead of waiting until Sunday morning. We really wanted the kids to leave camp with a wonderful Spirit in their hearts and minds and we worried that it would be lost in the hustle to get out and get to church. Jeff and Eric played with the kids until it was too dark to take any more pictures. It's just a little bit of heaven to see everyone getting along and loving every minute together.

For our final program, Eric told his Dub Reed story. It's a personal experience about when he knew that the Lord had kept his promise to him because he obeyed the commandments. I've heard bits and pieces before through the years, but it is a completely different experience to listen to him bear testimony that kindness matters and that small and simple acts of kindness can literally change your life. The image of Jack listening with tears in his eyes will be something that I treasure for the rest of my life. Emily followed Eric by giving a message about going back to school and working hard. She encouraged the kids to remember that they have overwhelming privilege and they are expected to learn as much as they can so they can bless other people all over the world. Jack and Lachlan shared the story of Malala Yousefzia which has become so important to them.

My part of the program was reminding everyone of my favorite Tyson Budge quote of all time, "There aren't any losers in the gospel, but there are some quitters." We talked about what it means to "lose and win" and how "losing is different than quitting." ...and then I pretty much didn't stop crying for two days because seriously, this has been a highlight of my YEAR. I tried to stop the tears, but then Jeff finished off the program with a story about how he strengthened his testimony on his mission and was, frankly, really emotional...and he is never emotional. I thought that Jack was going to melt into a puddle of tears, he's got a lot of Judd in him. Following Jeff, each of the kids shared what they learned at camp. It was an unofficial testimony meeting because we didn't want the kids to get stressed out about "bearing their testimony"--but it was real and unscripted, wonderful and so, so important. There were so many high fives and hugs and tears. I loved it.

I wanted to record how Jeff, Eric, and Emily felt about the experience too, so I asked them to write down a short reflection:

Emily:

I wasn't sure what to expect out of family camp. It sounded like a great idea when you presented it to us, but I jsut didn't know how it would all go, when push came to shove.
It was incredible. Unplugging and reconnecting as a family, right before school started was vital. The lessons taught were age appropriate, and the kids really got it--you could see it when it clicked with them. That last night, when big Stauffy was pushing the kids on the swing, everything was perfect in that moment. The light, the laughter, the feeling of togetherness. It was a piece of heaven on earth for me. Then, our closing devotional, so saturated in the spirit & feelings of kindness, and being taught what really matters in this life. It was perfect, a really sacred thing for me, and for our kids.
Heavenly Father really blessed our family camp, and I can't help but get so excited for all of the family camps on the horizon and the learning and fun they will create for our families. I can't imagine any other summer vacation topping family camp. It will be the highlight of many summers to come.

Eric: 

[Family camp] was an honor to be a part of. It was wholeheartedly taking the initiative in gospel parenting, and not waiting around for someone or some program to do it for us. Will they remember everything that was said? Probably not. Will they remember how they felt? I believe so. Simply because we have a springboard of learning going forward. If we are true to the growth and learning that happened there, perhaps down the road they will be able to respond in the affirmative to Alma's inquiry of "can ye feel so now?" when our children have children of their own.

Jeff:

I loved that I had fun, learned new things and felt my testimony grow just like I wanted for the kids. Our family came together and friendships were strengthened because of this shared experience. It's hard to believe a day and a half of family camp could make such a big impact but it did.

School Begins

Jack: Second Grade with Ms. Coulombe
Lachlan: Third Grade with Ms. Stewart

 We love Principal Johnson!

 Going upstairs with the big kids!

 It will take Lachlan all year to remember these kids' names. We are working on making eye contact and building relationships this year.

 Jack's class has an "under the sea" theme for the year. Mrs. C is the Captain of the ship. Jack's goal is to be the best reader in the class.

Crater Lake, Oregon

I'm hoping that if I do this right, I'll be able to publish our summer vacation in the correct order. Here's to hoping. We traveled with the Sargents this year--we both wanted to check out some new sites. We drove through Bend and down to Crater Lake, Oregon. It was so fun for the kids to go together on this trip.

Crater Lake is huge and the hiking is outstanding. There are so many different types of landscapes to observe, from solid lava fields to wooded forests to deep, suicidal gorges. It was even more interesting than I anticipated.

 Family portrait in front of Wizard Island. It's not a "normal" island. This is actually a new cone to the volcano that surfaced after the initial implosion. This is also the point when the kids finally believed me that they were going to need their sweatshirts on this trip.

Sara and I breathing in the fresh air. The kids were screaming in the background about a mouse living near the base of a tree. They were running around trying to catch it/not catch it. You also can't see that Shane is out moving around. He had a mangled ankle and was sans boot for the first time in weeks. He managed to hobble up the steep to check out the view from this point of the lake.

 100% overcast and still pretty amazing. The lake has no outlet. It was filled completely by snow melt and rain accumulation. The depths are incredible hundreds of feet deep. There are some fish and salamanders, but no boats are allowed on the lake. It has to be because it is a wicked hike down to the water.

 A closer look at Wizard Island. The cone.

Our main goal was to wear the kids out at every chance--it wasn't really hard because they just wanted to run, run, run. There are so many large trees to climb on, it's easy to forget that trees aren't just for landscaping.
 One of our shorter hikes took us through a large meadow. The hikes were perfectly shaded. We couldn't have asked for better weather. Tyler helped Louisa on most of the hikes. He was so good to make sure that she could get through the slippery rocks and see the flowers on the guide book.

 Exploring with dad.

 We never really knew where the hikes were going to go, or what we would see on them. This was an incredible view of a massive gorge. You could hear water at the bottom, but we never dared get close enough to the edge to see it. The gorge appeared to go on for miles.

 Sara and Shane.

 Jack practicing his balance on something he shouldn't be standing on.

Jack with the Phantom Ship in the background. A large rock formation that juts out of the lake. After we left Crater Lake we headed down to a motel outside of Medford, Oregon.