its been a week odd since i came back from downunder. the past 2 months has been like a dream. an escape from reality for me. i wanna go back. :(

its been a real good experience &im glad i chose to do it in the end. the initial stages were tough, but it has also given me some of the best moments in my life. it made me see a lot, think a lot, realise a lot. i now realise what it means to finally "have time to myself". of course, it helped a lot that i finally had the opportunity to step into my dreamland. (: &i can finally understand why jesse was so supermighty attached to the place.

how did i manage to grow to love a place so much in just 2 months? i have a million &one reasons. but to name just a few but definitely some of the most important reasons:-

1. i got to spend quality time with motheryeong, to finally open up one of the many doors in my life to her. (:
2. im so glad i had ayeeba there with me. &most definitely happy for her that she has the opportunity to go there to study too. in fact, this post should be an "I FELL IN LOVE WITH NURAISYAHSIMANI ALL OVER AGAIN IN SYDNEY!" post. (: i spent some of my best moments there with her &even though im back, i know she'll be experiencing &seeing so much more for the both of us. i'll be counting down the months days mins secs till you're back! i miss you. :(
3. i finally met up with my psychotic girlfriend harshinimudaliar after 6 years! omgosh. the craziness is unbeatable. from doing stupid things on the streets, to our hunting sessions for cheapo cocktails &window shopping (cos evth was so freakin ex), i find it hard to believe we havent contacted each other for 6 years. thanks bro! you certainly brought us back together. hah! ;p
4. work culture there's definitely a whole lot different as compared to back home. what cld make a girl happier than getting off at 4.30 SHARP every day? oh oops, i made a mistake. it doesnt happen every weekday. bcos i get off at 4 every fridays! (: &of course! getting the day off bcos they ran out of things for you to do, &having someone tell you "you gotta learn to stop working so bl***y fast!" is definitely a moral booster. (:
5. i was blessed with 2 crazycuckooboys who definitely helped in maintaining my sanity when things got a little too overbearing at the place that brought us together. this is when brother D'll shout "ITS NOT A ROOM! ITS A FREAKIN JAIL CELL!"
6. i lost 2 kg since i went there. need i say more? ;p

closure..i dont like to be left hanging..

it was also the first time that i spent my bday in a foreign country w/o the family. but it was a lovely bday WEEK nonetheless! (: i received the best bday present a girl could ever receive from the one &only lovely ayeeba. loveeesss it! from the contents to the exterior, i love every single bit of it. (EVEN THE LAOPOK BLUE PLASTIC BAG! haha ;p ) harshini, vijay &anan spending the day with me &our crazy frenzy with the lovely cupcakes, &to end it off, a treat comprising of dinner &drinks with brother D, my brother from another mother. ((: why did i say bday WEEK? thats becos i had a lovely celebration all planned by the lovely ayeeba on my last day in aussieland! (: we went cafe hopping! deliciously sinful, but oh so fantastic on the taste buds. this lovely girl made sure we got to fulfill the promise we made before of visiting certain places before i left! &so we ended the day with superhappytummies.

ayeeba: "i think we ate enough calories today to last me through fasting month!"
me: "i agree! except.. I DONT HAVE FASTING MONTH!"

&yes im suffering back here now. :( only dee&abu realised this &said "its so obvious that you're definitely a lot happier over there"..somewhere along these lines. dont get me wrong. im happy to be back. to be closer to the pple i love. but being there..its a dream i didnt really wanna wake up from. or rather, i woke up a little too soon. :(

photos when im less lazy.

i will learn to be happier.. i will..
HeavenlyFather.. please help me find my way back to You.
have Faith..

you know its love when..

you're going through one of the lowest moments in your life, cried your heart out &unintentionally said hurtful things to someone; but wake up the next morning to see a msg saying:-

"you are the most impt to me, &all i want to do is to make you happy once again."

ilu <3

**

i miss my monkey&tree.. :'(

im back! i keep poofing from here. yes i finally got to go to sydney in the end! been here for 3 weeks now. with all the mad settling of the visa; almost died. got the approval thurs aftn, collected my passport on fri.. &left on sat morning!

thankyou smurfs &CCChing for coming to see me on fri! it was a crazy day.. dont wanna mention it anymore but thankyou for all the love tt was showered upon me. (: haha especially ching! for seeing me so often tt wk, such tt my mommy thought i was gg away for 2 years instead of 2 months! haha. &paullipop! for coming out to dinner! WE LOVE THE LETTER C! though sadly my name has no C in it. ;p

thankyoou jessiepoopoo for waking up so mighty early in the morning &coming over at 4am in the morning to send me off. yes i kid you not. 4 am in the morning. this is how much she loves me. &im blessed to have a friend in her. iloveyoou! -bighugs- wish you were here too. :(

&b too.. who only had 2 hrs of slp e night b4 cos you waited up till i finally went to bed &still made it at 4am to send me off.. &after that heading to work. ilu <3 we'll celebrate b&b's bdays together when im back k. cant wait! (:

sdny's a beautiful place. no wonder so many pple wanna migrate here. the lifestyle's a lot slower in pace here. &till now i find it so hard to believe tt it turns pitch dark by 5.30-6. :( then poof! all the shops close. even eateries are hard to find. rrrah. but yes work's been happy so far. (: finally settled into a budget accom cos its so hard to find cheap accom for only 2 months. met a few lovely pple here too.

except for one stupid old man who's freaking me out. :( thankfully i have derrek (a new friend i made here who's from the USofA) looking out for me. this man, who's old enough to be my dad.. or even a young grandpa.. has been insisting on making soup for me to have dinner with him; &wanted me to go out with him. watch movies &stuff. AND sneaks up behind me quietly in the common room at where im staying. normally i wldnt be so freaked out but somehow he gives me this strange vibe. :( even derrek doesnt like him much. in case anyone's wondering.. he's normal. like a normal person. not the kind that's weird cos he's ill or anything. hmph.

&im becoming a dried prune cos of the weather! but despite the coldness.. i actually like the weather here. i love it actually. dont know how im gonna take the heat &humidity when im back. hee ;p went to see a doc tdy cos my stupid nose has been bleeding for more than a wk. got referred to see a specialist in a few wks.

its nice being on my own. gives me time to think. to find myself. to take a break from evth. though it was harder than i thought cos it only hit me when my mommy finally went back home. im loving my mommy more. we got a tad bit closer after our 2 &a half wks here. God really works in mysterious ways.. &answers prayers in His time. (:

i will not give up so easily.. (:

cant wait to meet up with ayeeba soon! &maybe make a trip to melbn* to see my couzie. hopefully she can come here instead. haha. ;p

gdnite peeps! (:

to b*:
thankyou for being being the one sole person keeping me happy &preserving my sanity. thankyou for taking each step of the way with me &being the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. ilu. i thank God every night for blessing me with you. (:

this is for you. <3

Angel:

I feel it, you feel it
That this was meant to be.
I know it, you know it
That you were made for me.
We can't deny this any longer
Day by day we're getting stronger.
I want it, you want it
It's what the people want to see.

We're like Romeo and Juliet
Families can't divide us.
Like the tallest mountain on the widest sea
Nothing's big enough to hide us.
When we make love its overwhelming
I just touch the heavens
You're an angel, you're an angel

I said this world, this world.
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep
'cause you are like a dream
For every night I say a prayer,
And I swear you are the answer
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

So we take it each moment our love grows
I see it, you see it,
What we have is made of gold
We're so filled with meaning,
Nothing can make us shallow.
So I hold it, and you hold it
The promise of tomorrow.
When we make love its overwhelming
I just touch the heavens.
You're an angel, you're an angel

And I said this world, this world
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep
'cause you are like a dream
For every night I say a prayer,
And I swear you are the answer
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

I don't need three wishes
Oh I just need one
For us to never be finished
For us to never be numb
When they say it's over
We'll just say I love you
And when they say it's finished
We'll just keep on building.

And I said this world, this world
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep
'cause you are like a dream
For every night I say a prayer,
And I swear you are the answer [x2]

You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

Yes you are. You're an angel.

if it is the will of my HeavenlyFather.. i'll be able to go.
im trying my hardest already. i am. i think i am.

think muddie:
"Everything will be ok in the end. Even if its not, its not the end."


have faith.

&im back from vtnm*! (:

loves it loves it loves it! it aint' boring like what everyone said. went to HCM city.
this was what happened:
(monday) dad (calls): do you wanna go vtnm?
me: ok! when?
dad: this thurs.
me: ?!?!?!?! um hahaha okay. up to you.
dad: ok i'll see how &let you know again.

(tues) dad: okay! its confirmed!

(wed) dad: did you tell abu?
me: noo.. i thought you told her?
dad: i didnt even see her!
(abu comes home) dad: abu! we're going vtnm tmr night!
abu: WHAT?!?!?!!?!?

haha &yes i didnt realise which part of vtnm we were gg to till the night before.

the flight there's only an hr &a half long! so abu &i cldnt finish watching stepup2. :( 1st impressions werent so great cos we were greeted with many frowns on the way out of the airport. if there was an award called the "land of frowns", they'll win it hands down. but we had a smiley cabbie so it made things a lil better. the traffic's crazy! according to the cabby driver, there's like 10 over million pple in vtnm, &out of this 10 million, 7 million of them own motorbikes! made me wanna own a vespar of some sort. ;p will post pics up once i've got them uploaded. &yes traffic rules certainly do not exist at all over there. zebra crossings certainly do not benefit pedestrians in the same was as it does back here. the vehicles hardly ever stop &when one has embarked on the treacherous task of crossing the rd, one shld nv stop to avoid traffic cos the traffic swerves arnd to avoid you instead. =x

was mighty tired so i actually fell aslp at the hotel lobby while waiting for an hr for the room to be ready. but the min we got our room, we were all set to start exploring! (: the day seemed never ending. time was crawling. which was gd. haha. we started the mad exploring of shops &the various streets with all the lovely shops &what not. had lunch at this vtnmese restaurant &the food was amazing! as with all the other meals i had subsequently. not once did we not enjoy our meals there! haha &yes of course, dad fell in love with the beefpho. or at least, he said it was better than expected. (: dad had a lovely friend who came to meet us &showed us arnd for a bit. introduced more lovely shops! haha we became shopping king, queen &princesses! (: was pretty shagged out at night so we turned in really early for once aft calling for room service.

the hotel breakfast that had the loveliest hash browns on earth. to me that is. haha. food wasnt exactly totally vtnmese though. but it was lovely still. they had the cutest yakt* bottles! they're even smaller than the ones we have here! haha though i still prefer vtgn*, abu was certainly one mighty happy monkey. (: dad's friend lent us the company driver &we started out on a 1 &a half hr drive out into the country side to visit some place called the cu chi tunnel. they were tunnels created as a strategy used during the war. we got to go through all the various tunnels. but my gdness gracious me. their traps are the scariest things. they made traps in the ground &the spikeys were just simply lethal. no way cld anyone escape the trap alive. =x

at some pt, we went to visit the museum there too. i agreed with abu when she said it seemed more like a collection of old items. &there were FOUR couples having their wedding photos taken there that morning. guess its a popular place for wedding photos to be taken. though i dont really understand why. =x indeed, it was a museum. all musky &dusty &all. but it was kinda interesting to see all the old stuff they used back then. the place gave my mommy the chills though. &it made her stomach all queasy. haha.

oh yes &did i mention that i super love the weather there? it was just nice! not all humid like back home. =x we can walk arnd all day long &not sweat one bit. the breeze was just lovely. (: though i hated the dustiness of it. probably dued to the underdevelopment of the place. &of course, what with the millions of motorbikes all arnd. it rained once when we were there. &the rain was absolute madness. it was like a storm! the heavy downpours back home were alr unbearable when one is outdoors. but over there, its a heavy storm coupled with a great mighty gust of wind! thankfully it didnt last for too long. (:

did more shopping &we found this amazing tailoring shop! they make all the tailors &seamstresses back here look terribly inefficient. they tailor stuff at a FLAT RATE. meaning.. even if you request for an extra elastic band, a button here&there, or a zip. they do all this with NO EXTRA CHARGE! all alterations are FREE! &best of all..they even do FREE DELIVERING! woohoo! ;p made friends with the pple there &you know they're genuine &sincere when they refused extra tips. im a happy girl. (:

one of our meals was at some chinese/hk restaurant. dad's friends (2 sisters) brought us there for dinner one night. was kinda disappointed initially cos it didnt seem to make much sense in having cheena food there. but the minute i sank my teeth into the 1st dish, i immediately understood why they brought us there. every dish was so amazingly delish! i was in food heaven. the most amazing seafood i've ever had. my tummy was mighty happy after that. even abu, who's usually real picky &aint such a great fan of things like lobsters.. she touched a proper portion of each dish that night! yes as one can tell, i cant stop raving abt it. (; ohyes not forgetting the famous chobenthanh market. ((: our hotel was near it &the night market was definitely a biiig plus! hahaha yes the cheapomamamonster in me came out, given my great love for PSMLs.

i lovelovelovessssss it! :D ahh i love exploring new places. (:
-fingers crossed- for my visa approval now.

whoohoo im back! ((:

exams ended abt a wk ago. finally. twas so mighty long. wasnt exactly very fantastic but ohwells no matter its over! i'll just leave evth to the God to decide my fate. (:

and And AND(!) my visa application in aussie is finally approved! though i dont know whether to be happy or not. but either ways, its pretty exciting! now hopefully the application here aint gonna take as long. -cross fingers- if all goes well, i'll be gone end of this month!

&im heading to vtnm* on thurs morning! kinda strange cos it was such a last min decision made by daddy-o. have never been there before so whoopee! i love travelling &seeing new places. :D

despite all this, i know im going to miss you* like crazy. :( thankyou* for being my happy pill every time i go into my psychotic moods. i dont know what i'll do without you. thankyou for being so patient with me &going through everything with me. for teaching me to believe &have faith &trust in you; in us. i thank our HeavenlyFather for you each &every day. ilu* (:

jess &yan are back! whee! ((: dinner with my triple A girls tmr! im a happy kid. *beams*

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO SMURFIE cinDEEshir, INGANN &GORDON! (:


byebye my 3month old baby. :( i told myself to take good care of you after my previous baby got kidnapped. but alas, you poofed from me &after a wk, i still do not know what exactly happened &how i managed to lose you. i will always remember you &keep you dearly in my heart. i hope your new owner looks after you well too. :'(

this sucks. it really does. i dont know why it has to happen to me twice in the same year. &half a year hasnt even passed. have never cried so badly over the loss of something as material as this. but it was one mighty painful experience &for as long as i could contain my emotions, the tears spilt either ways. :( thankyou b* for letting me be stupid &childish that night.

either ways, im just thankful for lovely pple like cind, shar, mudd &jing. ian too. for all the love&support i received that day. i know im blessed cos i have pple like them. even dumdum evil lionel too. who happily rubbed salt into my wound. &stupid concubine who thinks my phone was ugly so it didnt matter that it was gone. bah. but yes i know it was done with an aim to "console" me so.. i forgive you evil boys! ;p

*bighugs to smurfie* dont give up okay! you can do it! you know what im talking about. *winks*

exams exams. boo. :( i want it to end. i need a miracle.

thankyou* for teaching me so many things. for teaching me &showing me how love should be. for not giving up on me. we have a lot of obstacles to face in time to come. but i know we'll brave them together hand in hand. i will learn to "have faith" and trust us more. ilu <3

though i still dont get stupid stupid Ferocious Rhinocerous, &i still miss my last 2 babies, i will go to sleep a happyhappy girl tonight.

*bliss (: