~ Ephemeral Visage ~

A long time since such motivation to dress up and attend an event. Any event at all actually.  PetsAsia 2013, not bad for a trial project by Dog Groomer's Association. Some successful areas:- 1) Venue accessible. Spacious. Ease of transport (easy to get taxi and carpark links behind exhibition halls) 2)Website clean, clear and informative. 3)incorporated event with Aquarama, draw in substantial crowd. Interaction between aqua and furry interest groups. Chances of exposure to new interest groups. 4)create awareness of responsible pet ownership and adoption drive by having at least Spca, cat welfare and rabbit association's presence. 5)Agility and Obedience competition are by invite only. Neat organization and present the pretty and professional side of such competitions. Allow spore market to be exposed; Allow for future opportunities of organizing such competitions locally. 6)sponsors are generous with prizes and decoration. Tickets are affordable. Tied in with discount bundles...

I have.... So many things to tell u tonight... So much feelings wound up tightly I can feel my body swelling, My hands trembling My back aching My heart panting My brain racing My eyes drooping My head hurting My lips bitter.... My sanity slipping. Trouble breathing. Miah... I'm sorry I hurt u in the past. I'm thankful u r still willing to talk to me after all these years.... Maybe time really does wonders. I dunno why I dreamt of u... I spent today wishing u wld remember the special bond we shared, n feel that it is as precious. If its anyone... I feel now... I can still trust to really love and dote on me... Would be u. I'm just a little girl, standing in front of a little boy, asking him to love me. I hope this wont be just another pretty little daydream... I choose to believe u will give me a chance to make it up to u, rather than gloat as satisfying revenge flows through u... I can't promise how much I have left in this shell to give to u... But...

I dunno whether I love u more, or I need ur love more.

I think I have it easier...dear... At least when I am upset I have clonazepam... Drift by upon taking it... Maybe 15mins of pain before it works. But u have to go tru it all until something takes ur attention away from it.... Sayang. But I'm sorry I can't stop hurting u.

I got this for myself dear... It keeps me at ease. You know how losing your contact tripped up my life? This makes me calmer. Today I watched ah boys to men. I wondered if u watched it. They featured urban ops. U told me Abt it at ur reservist and I tot its really fun. And I also wondered how dear dear felt on nights u all spend outdoors. I like to hear ppl's army stories. I imagine pp with his tooth missing. Heartache sayang. Goodnight dear. I pray the wind will bring my voice to u. I love u.

I used to berate....'why me?' But deep down... You know, don't you? I was born different and I have always known it. I only dreamt I was normal. After being with the normal people I managed to convince myself my gut feeling could be a misconception from the result of loneliness and pride. Now... I think I can get used to it. Somebody has to take the bottom to let the pit top out. I just happen to be that shit. :)