I've always been a runner.
I started my freshman year in high school.
The track coach practically begged me to join the team,
and then cross country started.
I couldn't help myself.
It's always been something that is just mine.
Something I could and did all on my own.
It's an addiction.
I ran the St. George Marathon in 2011 and fell in love with marathons.
The way you can watch the sun rise over those purple mountains.
It's beautiful.
It's almost spiritual.
To train for something for months and perform is amazing.
To push through every thought that tells you that you can't
and finish something that others will never do.
I'm running the St. George Marathon this year.
This is the first time I've thought of a marathon and been scared.
I have adult onset exercise induced asthma.
Running will never be the same.
It started to effect me last autumn and I thought it would pass,
but it didn't.
So I went to the doctor,
and they gave me an inhaler.
I used it and it was amazing to be able to breathe again,
to feel my muscles getting sore before my lungs,
and not feel as if I'm drowning after every tiny push.
My throat stayed open,
and dry,
and I saw a light of hope.
Then I had my first bad day, and had to use my inhaler to rescue me.
Maybe the pollen was bad, the air cooler than usual. . .
And I realized running will never be the same for me.
I think about the marathon and (I won't lie) it scares me to death.
I'll be running 26.2 miles without air.
I had to sit and cry a little before a realized:
I have two choices,
either I quit and let asthma kill my love of running,
or I give myself a break and realize I'm going to have good and bad days.
I could quit, or fight.
I'm not going to give up running, I can't.
It's part of me.
So I guess I will be pushing through.
Marathons never scared me until now,
but now I have something to fight for.
I'm going to be the best asthma runner I can be.