The Brinjal's

Sunday, September 23, 2012 4:55 PM
Either way, I'll stay with you

我们可不可以不勇敢
当伤太重心太酸无力承担
就算现在女人很流行释然
好像什么困境都知道该怎么办
我们可不可以不勇敢
当爱太累梦太乱没有答案
难道不能坦白地放声哭喊
要从心底拿走一个人很痛很难

Sigh. I don't wanna go for Monday interns with the oncology physician. I dislike hearing his bullshit about how tcm can cure cancer. It can't. If it can, aunt wouldn't have died. I don't like him. I don't like Monday's interns. Most of all, being reminded of aunt hurts in every little way.

I'm so tired recently. Not a new thing. It's normal. I hope I can be healthy because I wanna go to Europe with you in the future!

^_^

Friday, September 14, 2012 11:34 PM
I'm on my way to believing

I didn't cry to sleep as I thought. I was depressed and I broke down. But I managed to confide in someone. Confided in a girl who seems to be somewhat like me; she just listened to me and told me not to cry. I felt comforted, and I'm really thankful nellis was there for me.

:')
I'm will count all my blessings. And keep these touched moments safe in my heart. When I was depressed and a smiling you crossed my mind I felt like i was reminded that I do have a place I belong, and that the place is right beside you. So it's okay I'm okay.

I'm gonna be so much stronger than yesterday. I can do it myself.

I still miss you so.

8:35 AM
And I'm so worn out and so left out

Yet again. I'm always so insignificant. It's like whatever I do, you just don't see the good in me. And yet I try so hard.
He says " don't think you study very big then take the stress out on people"

I didn't. I really didn't.
I feel damn depressed right now and I have no one to talk to. I don't wanna disturb you especially when you finally get to destress with your friends.

My pillow is wet from all the tears. I'm ready to give up. I don't see why I work so hard anymore.

I wish you're here beside me and all

I think I've really broke down. I can't stop the tears. Think I'll cry myself to sleep

Wednesday, September 12, 2012 11:01 AM
Tired and uninspired

The morning started miserable, and the night seemed never ending.

I sit alone here, and wondered if it was stupid to get upset. Maybe i cared too much.

I understand that you're busy, and i tried my best to be there to provide material and moral encouragement. Maybe it wasn't enough,

today you hung up on me while i said "i love you"

i didn't even get a chance to tell you that I'm down with a fever again.

I'm tired, but i cant sleep. i need to sleep soon. its 2am in the morning and Ive got school later on.

And Ive been pushed around by people who i didn't want in my life. People who judged and assumed they knew everything about me, but in fact they got no knowledge of me at all. I wish i can just snap.

And i snapped at Nellis today. I wondered if i really really wanted to snap at her, or i was just frustrated and upset that people don't try to do something which they can do. The road in front is obvious, don't tell me you don't know. You know, you're just pretending not to know.

I guess I'm not of help anymore. I cant even save myself, how to save others?

Labels: but im still the same as yesterday, You're a million miles away

Tuesday, September 11, 2012 5:24 PM
Nothing you say today is gonna bring me down

Hey blog. It's been a long time since I've last blogged. Abstained from blogging for quite some time for I realised that Everytime I blogged, I'll spend a great deal of time wallowing in melodrama. Anyway, it's been close to 3 weeks since aunt passed away, time really flies. I guess she won't feel the passage of time anymore, the ones living are the ones who feel the time go tick tock without her.

Life has been busy, at least I've been keeping myself really busy to prevent myself from thinking about all these life and death thing which really really scares me.

My CA for acupuncture ended. I studied so goddamn hard for it but I think I won't make the cut, it was horribly difficult the paper killed me. I died inside when I left the exam venue, there was a pang of regret, of studying so hard and forgoing my health for something that's totally not worth it at all. My health has been deteriorating of late, all those lack of sleep and the devils of taking so much coffee are all coming back to haunt me, my legs feel so numb I think it's due to poor blood circulation lol. And there was this time I totally forgot to take my meals for that particular day and I had such a bad gastric attack I thought I was gonna double over and spend all my weekends immobilize in bed.

I have also began to give tuition. It is hard to juggle, but I felt so happy when the girl who wasn't able to pass for math and science actually got pass grades for both subjects after I taught her. I just felt so happy, happy is an understatement, I just don't know what better words I can use to describe this feeling. Plus I'm blogging as I'm in bus 179 to school. Usually at this time, dear will be up and will be texting me as he laze in bed whilst I'm in bus for school. Yet today, he pulled an all nighter yesterday and is still doing his assignments :/ I miss you.

Turn off the lights and let you sleep,
Just close your eyes relax and dream.
Keep your heart in mine, even in the hardest times.

When you're feeling lost, don't give up because it's alright, when you close your eyes, I'm by your side.

This song has been on replay mode...

I guess I'll have to start studying again soon this week, another 3 weeks to acupuncture finals.

Eileen! You can do it! Don't let the Chinese scares you!! (:

4 more days to 4 ; 爱。
(>'.')><('.'<)