"nothing in this big bad world is gonna take you away"

Oh yes I think I'll go to Boston, think that I was tired, think I need a new town to leave this all behind; think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of sunsets.

You don't know me, and you don't even care....


Oops sorry I was just belting out lyrics to the songs by augustana.

Recently, life has been pretty unsettling. I don't know where I am headed now, what I'm gonna do in the future, my life.

I realized university is more than just a passing phase in your life, it really demands you to dig for answers buried deep within you, and when you realized that the answers you have are contradicting what you're doing now in university, it scares you so so much, makes me wanna throw everything I have right now aside, pick up a bag pack and then go around walking the world away. But that'd be irresponsible, and I won't be able to put things aside as easily as I say.

Watch it burn, let it die, cuz we are finally free tonight. Answers that we'll never find, they don't mean a thing tonight.

Actually, I'm on the bus right now, on the way to meeting Peiyan for a swim. I hope I'll swim really well today, it has been ages since I last swam. The plus point about swimming is that you can swim as slow as you want, and whilst you're deep under those waters, you get to think so much, sometimes you may cry, but the tears shed will be washed away so immediately you find it silly to cry anyway.

I don't think I want to do tcm anymore. I'm not cut out for it anyway. I really hate to hang on any much longer, it hurts to realize that I was wrong all along, but it hurts much more to compel myself to do whatever I know will kill me whilst I do it, every second, every minute, every day.

Right now, the only good thing about me, my life, is you. Thank you for being there for me when I'm all caught up in shit. Thank you for seeing all the moments when I'm at my worst even though I wish you'd see more moments of me when I'm at my not so worse state.

A smiling you just appeared in my thoughts, like lightning flashing across those skies. Hope you're sleeping well.

Thank you all, for all.