I love swimming. I think i've forgotten how to swim since a long time ago. I remember in primary school, i used to take swimming lessons, and i remember that i had a bronze for the survival thing. But right now, it's like i've become all rusty, i can't seem to synchronize my legs and my arms, and i can't breathe and swim well at the same time. But i'm gonna learn once again, and peiyan's teaching me all that she learnt in her swimming lessons! (:
So, i'm doing something constructive with my holidays. Who knows right, if i can't make it in what im studying, i can become a lifeguard in the future! Teehee.
So, swimming, next on, i've been working at this box office, selling movie tickets. It's not like the job is bad. I remember that i've taken quite a number of odd jobs before, even burger king. I love taking on jobs that i've never tried before! It feels rather exciting to know about the secrets behind every expertise, it feels like im gathering secrets of the world and storing them inside my own jars labelled "experience."
So yup, box office. And a little bit of concession, like popcorn, nachos and combos. It's actually, really, kinda fun. I still haven't figure out why people stand infront of the screen in agony for 5 minutes deciding on the best seats that they can take, and i am still fazed by the number of people who buys mineral water from us at $2.40. Seriously, i understand that living is really cool, it never fails to amaze you.
And i think i'm alright with mathematics and cashiering, since i've never ever, (not even once!) had a shortage of cash! I remember my first day of work there, and i had a 100 dollars excess!
Teehee, i still don't know why either!
So jobs, swimming, what else is there going on in my life?
Oh! Keith says he has tickets for the ndp rehearsal this year! I'm so excited, i think! It's been like a few years since i've last seen an ndp live, and i really think i'd like to see my fellow friends marching around. It really is a pity that i haven't really appreciated those marching things of late. Growing up changes many things. I still haven't fulfilled my wish of seeing my best friends in their smart 4 ):
I still have to wait for like 3 years, or maybe more, to see my brother in that. And by that time, i'm already an old wrinkled prune ):
Sighs.
Thats all for life of late, i think so.
Realization: When you've made up your mind to live strong, you've already taken the first step. All that's left is realizing that determination.
^_____________________^
HOHOHO
Labels: the only thing i should be drinking is an ice cool beer
I felt better after a swim yesterday. It has been ages since i last swam!
Though it wouldn't have qualified as much of a lap swim, i thought i tried my best, and i felt pretty satisfied as i woke up with muscle aches today.
I'm going to work soon! I need to find more jobs to pass my time easily!
Just an afterthought, i think the previous post was a tad too wimpy. I should stop being so pathetic soon.
Ciao.
Labels: the crunch of a leaf.
It was like the entire stretch of road ahead was empty. Litter on the floor, and the leaves on the trees looked ready to fall to the ground with satisfaction. Work was over for the day, and it was the same ol same ol, nothing much, rather, it was monotonous and there was nothing that could make it any more special than yesterday, or the day that would come. I walked along the once busy street, and felt the surge of loneliness creeping up on me, weighing it all down on my shoulders. The huge gust of wind granted the leaves their wishes, and they fell to the ground with glee, only to meet with the unfortunate fate of my sneakers, the sound of their fates turned to nothing but a tiny crunch. The wind blew cold, and i shuddered. I could remember many things then, as i stood there in a blank. I didnt think of walking, i stopped, and thought of the many things that had kept me away from the cold before. I could remember steady arms that held me, strong hands that sheltered me from the cold, from the rain, and above all, kept me away from the burden of sorrow. I could remember no loneliness before, and that could be why the amount of loneliness felt today was multiplied by a million folds, the weight of it all almost crumbled me. I stared at the sky, and i wondered, had the sky ever been so dark before? Like this black vortex, a bottomless abyss. I could remember once again, the smiley face that had brought me to the clouds, and now the mere thought of that smile can only bring me to my knees and make me cry.
I saw my bus in a distance, and i thought to myself ; there wouldn't have been any meaning standing here and waiting. Wait, was i even waiting? and if so, what was i waiting for? What was this hesitation all about? The bus lurched forward, and i decided to run. There was no point staying, but what were these tears about? I couldnt remember a single thing then, there was no answer in my head, and everything felt like a blur.
The bus was empty. I climbed onto a seat, and looked at the empty space all around. And i burst out crying as much as i want, the empty space my only companion.
I want my smile back again, and i'm not gonna want to crumble anymore. I decided that i won't wanna fall anymore, i won't wanna hurt again.
If nobody's gonna hug me, i'll just hug myself even more.
If nobody's gonna hold my hands and give me warmth, i'm gonna hold my own hands.
I was able to do it before, and i will be able to, today.
Labels: Inbox with ink.
Will you ever give up something just because you're afraid of pain?
I guess so right? I mean humans are weak willed after all. We claim that we can do this if we try our best, if we're determined enough, but afterall, these are but words that will never live. We give up a tad too easily most times, don't we?
I feel like a fool most times. I ask for help, ask for solace, ask for comfort. I try to seek help from others, even though i realise that the only one who can help me, is myself. If i refuse to step beyond this line, if i continue to stand still even as time keeps rolling on, then no one can ever pull me to my feet ever again if i don't begin trying climbing up myself.
I say i'll become more determined. I say that if i wanna live, i will live strong. but really, im all just full of words. How do you even get stronger?
Sometimes, i think i ponder over such stuffs too much, much more than the others. I should quit it.
But i can't.
I need to find more work to tire myself out so that i get to sleep easier at night.
. . . . .
Labels: old new old new
Yesterday was one of my happiest days in months. I didnt imagine that cycling can make me so happy, even when i dont know how to cycle at all. Thank you for doing the double bike with me, though it is highly unlikely that you're even gonna read this! It was the first time i've cycled so far, almost the entire east coast park, and it was the first time i didnt think about anything at all. It was like we're just talking, joking, playing and being happy. I felt really bad for making you take the first seat since the energy cost is pretty high haha (:
I ended up with a slight bruise on my knee, and the next day ; with an aching pain at the butt and thigh area. I don't know if im ever gonna try cycling, or at least, i dont know if im ever gonna learn at all. But, i needed to write it down here, that yesterday was one of the best days of my life so far.
Not like i'm ever gonna forget if i don't blog about it, but ..
oh wells, nevermind!
Good day!
And im really afraid of the clubbing thingy, i really think i can't do it HAHA
Labels: Sugarcane
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE...
this feeling all over again.
It hurts so much.
Please just let everything be alright again.
Please dont take away people i love again.
It feels so.. painful.
Labels: love is pain