It's been so long since i last blogged.
It's just so long long ago, i can't even begin typing what i feel like typing that had made me come here to blog. So many things swirling around in my mind, like champagne in a glass, minus the sweet cherry decoration. Sorry for digressing.

I'm so tired. Yes, i know. How many times have you all heard me say im tired. i'm really sorry, i'm always saying how tired i am, i must not have lived my life the way i want it, to the fullest.
I feel like i want courage, i want to be brave, to pursue something else other than academic success. i dont wanna do this anymore. right, eileen. how many times have you said you don't wanna do this anymore. Liar. Coward.

I just dont have the guts to do something other than studying. I'm such a loser.

I felt super disappointed today. Disappointed in you, sad, angered.
I felt like i needed you. yet you're just not there.
you chose not to be here.
Of all the people i can lie and smile and pretend there's nothing wrong, i have always wished, at the back of my mind, that you'll always be able to see through me.

I thought you could.
Guess i was wrong.
As usual.


Goodnight. My first post in months, and it feels like such a sad weepy post im not sure if i should put it up

Well i think, forget it. ahh, i dont kn