I dont know why i've been neglecting my blog.
I miss my friends.
Time tells who real friends are, i guess.
And from today onwards, working without haniffa will kill me.
i'll miss his crappy dances * all the single ladies* , and his lip singingggggggggg

goddd.
i heard alevels' results will be out on friday, not exactly loking forward to it, rather, i feel so much like escaping from it.
it dont matter that i wont know of how i'll fare.
it doesnt matter. i dont care.

sigh.
fragmented thoughts.

i feel like kagome. Caught between feudal era and reality.

Labels: Yesterday once more.

this is a blog post after so long, after so long of exhaustion, i realise i must blog, not because i wanna fill up the empty spaces that i've built up after days and weeks of non-blogging, rather, this is a blog post i must post, because it is out to the ones i miss. so dear.

These few months, after leaving college, have made me think so much about the people, who gradually, slowly, retreat from my life, people who start pulling themselves away from the tangles of me, my life. I don't blame them, because afterall, they don't even know themselves, the very fact that they're leaving away, away from me.

It makes me sad, when we can't find time to meet up, when we simply cannot see each other. It makes me feel so afraid that i'm really gonna lose them now. I dont want to lose them. They don't know how important they are to me, maybe it is due to the fact that i don't express it to them how vital they are, because of my failure, my lack of courage to tell, dear friends, you are important so.

I still remember the days before A levels, the most crucial period, who i've studied with. The spotters, sunday crew, TPJC-ians. Thinking back, you guys make studying so much easier, so much more distracting and of course, so much of a gamble, especially so for the spotters.

I miss the spotters most.
Because i've been with them the longest out of all, the fun times we've been through.
Even though i'm the only girl in the club, they don't mind, because to them, i'm like so guy.
I still remember the time we got lost in kallang, walking round and round just to return to the same place where we've started. I still remember my tofu and rice with Keith.
Doing maths with the spotters, where yihao could easily solve an integration problem and leave us staring in disbelief. And the lazy jingchun, his long breaks from studying just to sneak off and play tennis. Together with encouragement from that luzhi, that mischievous dude. Of course, Hairui's constant self-praising, and big Bear's infatuation with By2 slowly diffusing into the group.

I miss you guys. I haven't seen all of them for so long.
Keith, Luzhi, Yihao, Jingchun, Weijie, Hairui, Lionel.
Time is tearing us apart uh.
Distance is growing, from inches to miles.
But no matter how far, i want to let you all know,

I wanna always be your friend.


Happy Chinese New Year.

Labels: even if the sky is falling down

i feel like i'm missing out on something, i cant quite put my finger to what i'm missing out on, this feels so strange, it makes me feel so, left out or something like such.

These few weeks have been hectic, i officially declare myself tired. Luzhi seems to be right, i guess im really working my ass off, feverishly, like a stupid ant. rushing two places in a day is kinda tiring. i'm beginning to feel so much like giving up on either one of the jobs.

Eileen jiayou.
one day without your smiles is deadly.

Labels: how could this happen to me