The Brinjal's

Thursday, July 31, 2008 4:19 AM
And i think to myself, what a wonderful world.

I just realised how long i havent taken a stroll, all by myself.
i just realised how long i havent worn my slippers as i stuffed my small feet into those white straps.
i just realised how blue the skies looked.
i just realised how long i havent make myself a huge pot of tea.
i just realised how long i havent have a proper meal.
i just realised how long i havent taken an hour bath, switch on the air conditioner, snuggle under my cosy duvet, and sleep with all my teddies around me.

I did all that today.

" Are you sure there'll always be the silver lining in all the clouds? "

Monday, July 28, 2008 7:16 AM
Lean on me, when you're not strong.

Im not breaking away from this mess,
im breaking down.
Honestly, i cant keep up with these facades, they're tiring me out.
I really cant pretend to smile and act jovial anymore.
Im losing grip, im losing my sanity, and im gonna lose all my hair if i continue tugging at them due to stress to the power of infinity.

I cant hold up too long already.
I wish to be transcended to some other places where i no longer feel the tremendous stress, where i no longer have to carry on with monotonous mugging, and where i dont need facades.

Where i dont have to stumble through life, literally and figuratively, where i dont trip, and where i dont find myself sobbing like some emotional wreck.

ohmyfuckinggod.

But yes, i promised piano yx to stay strong, and we'll fight this cyclone together. My dear girl, we're all in this together.

I wish i can continue to run to you crying like what happened after that previous sad relationship.

But i guess, you dont really care about me anymore.

Sunday, July 27, 2008 9:41 AM
You'll always be a part of me.

28/07/08.
Happy birthday my dearest brother, a year older,
please be more matured alright? and dont let your sisters here worry and yell at you and all those.

(: ONE YEAR OLDER EUGENE!

Family day today, went out together with family to eat, shop, eat.
I still feel feverish, but then im trying to do my EOM, to no avail.
I give up.
Totally.
Sick.

Naw, im not the sporty kind.

& forever, & forever.
We look alike huhs!?

I wanna be up there.

Happy birthday dearest brother!

Hmm, sick. Hope to go to bed, but this bugging feeling of not giving up on my EOM keeps me here.

Now im at a loss, figuratively.
I dont know anything anymore.

Friday, July 25, 2008 11:10 PM
the dandelion's promise.

Fever for three days already. Fell ill on thursday, left school at 11 plus on friday. missed literature and chinese. didnt even bother to get results slip. 54 rank points only. Sucky, i know. Slept from 1 plus yesterday, woke up at 9 plus, had some food, went back to sleep till 6 plus, prepared and left for OSLE meeting.

Just wanna say this after the OSLE meeting.
Please dont say things just because people want to hear them. Say it because you honestly feel this way. Please be true to yourself, and to others too.

Thanks to msters for being there for me, appreciated.

So tired, i wish i can sleep forever...

Thursday, July 24, 2008 2:39 AM
If your heart's always searching, can it ever find a home?

I dont need a new pair of spectacles, i just need a new watch.
Because now, im beginning to see stuffs that has always been there, there for me. However, im too late...

Starved in school today, and had gastric. Had difficulty even walking. I didnt bring much cash out with me, i had only a packet of biscuits..
Daniel asked me why im so "emo"
Lee Chia asked me why im sad.

I drew a japanese girl today. Everyone told me she looks sad.

I just wish, the particular person, that he will not ignore me anymore. And that he will continue to care for me and be there for me again. Maybe im too selfish. Please dont say you dont need me anymore. Because i'll always be there for you...

Some people like Gavin and my sister knows who he is. And if you're thinking that the guy is Ip Yin Cheong, then you so dont know me at all.

Sunday, July 20, 2008 7:47 AM
You can count on me for life.

This is gonna be a short post on how i totally feel after that heartwarming dinner my uncle gave at Roxy Square, and after a fun filled time at the Arcade with my beloved cousins. Thank you, everyone, for making my life so special. The adults drank beer as us kids went to parkway parade to walk around. gavin got himself some frappe at starbucks, and we went playing at the arcade. Even my smallest cousin, Karyn! She climbed onto those machines and threw the balls in, though she never even got any in. My mom had a drop too many, she was drunk. She giggled for no reason, and everyone's just so happy. We laughed, everyone of us, we had so much fun tonight. I wish we can stay like this forever. We piled into Daddy's car after this whole eventful night, and zoomed home. I was listening to Aslyn - Thats when i love you. Tonight was no doubt, the best night i ever had in weeks. And as i thought about how life just might be colourful afterall, i found a tear roll down my cheek. In spite of that, my lips curled into a smile.

I love my family members, every single one of them

Yours truly,
EILEEN LOO YI ZHEN.

Saturday, July 19, 2008 9:20 PM
Get the game on, go, play.

I am currently in the library, listening to songs on the laptop, and also trying to do the tutorial on method of difference. Hmm, there are 8 questions, and i have done 5 already. Well, it is also thanks to Xueyuan. We are now in the library, except that, he's now gone for lunch, and so, im allowed to use his outlet for my laptop. haha. Uhhh, i finished the book, Babble queen, really nice book. And well, i wont be reading any more books already, i'll just try to complete my assignments on time.

I dont know what to post actually, but i just want to post something in reply to the tags. Well, yeahs, nobody's born to be a fighter nor a hero. Well, they train hard and tada, they get their results. As in, they become real good and all. However, i really aint cut out to train. I mean, i tried, but i really feel so.. im just not a strong person. And ellene also told me about how stressed she is, because she is now the QM, and she cant do loadsa stuffs like stretching and all. Hey girl, we're all in this together.

Because im a tad worse than you. Sighs, i dont wanna continue saying how bad i am and all, because i'll really start to feel real useless all over again.

However, i did try to think of many other ways to recruit new members. I was asking gavin, just yesterday, if we can probably try to recruit people by distributing flyers? And im hoping Xueyuan can join too, since he told me he wanna quit his CCA, and i am now trying to get him to join.

And just now, he told me he might come down for training tomorrow. I feel a little happy that i at least, tried.

I like method of difference, but my maths suck. My chem sucks. My biology sucks. My chinese sucks. And my literature sucks.

I dont know what im doing here in a JC.

Labels: Dont wanna mug. dont wanna do no tutorials.

5:41 AM
Thats when i love you, (:

Team Spartans. Thats our OSLE team name. I dont have no qualms about it. Im cool.
However, i cant help but gets this bugging feeling of Spartans being a really comical name, like the image portrayed when i watched the stupid epic - meet the spartans. Im listening to It ends tonight- All american rejects. Im feeling unwell now.

There was this OSLE meeting today, and i was supposed to take the 905 a.m bus. However, i woke up at 850, and shit, i was so scared i'd be terribly late that i contemplated not going. However, eventually, i dragged my lehtargic body out of my real cosy bed, and brushed my teeth reluctantly. We discussed many things and it was a really fruitful trip there especially when i stay so far from school. I didnt join them for lunch, i was too tired.

I am currently reading babble queen by meg cabot - one of my favourite authors, since she wrote that nice book - the boy next door. I even read the book on the bus, it was a good thing i didnt miss my stop.

I was asleep for the entire day till 8 plus. Felt damn groggy. For some reason, im listening to this sad song - suppose. Zzzz.

On a totally different note, i reflected on my own behavior in the meeting. I feel totally dishonest. I didnt say what i wanted to say, i didnt do anything. Worse of all, i allowed the seniors to continue with their assumptions that everything's okay. I assured weimin that Pugilistic will never close down, but really, who am i to say? i feel like shit now. Ellene and i talked alot over the doing of the noticeboard yesterday. I confided in her, told her how useless i feel when im in this CCA. Sure i can run quite okay-ly, not exactly that good, i can stretch okay-ly as well, but i really do not have the strength and all, i mean, in short, i am weak. To weak that i cant even do th simplest thing, even lifting the lion.

SIGHS.

And i also think that, with ellene, you know, we were thinking, your heart is already not there, you are thinking of joining other CCA ( not us, someone else) , then whats the point of you staying, and pretending that you're so interested in the CCA infront of the seniors, whle with us, you tell us of you wanting to join other CCAs?

And then i asked ellene, " why did you join pugi in the first place?"
She told me it was because i saw the drum and i put my name down, so she put hers too, together with Gavin.
Im so sorry, i just feel that i've dragged us all down together in something that i only saw and felt the interest in that small thing. Maybe you all just wanna accompany me, and now, how far have we gone?

And Eileen joined the CCA because she was so captivated by the drum. When she doesnt even know how to play it. Sure, you people say i can always learn it. But you know, i am a really slow learner. I cant do so many things.

I want to scream out every single thing, confessions of an idiot. An idiot who hasnt even know what she has done, why is she doing what she is doing, and how she actually got herself into all these.

No, i dont feel sad that im here. in the CCA. I do enjoy going to CCAs because of encouragement from dear seniors. However, i just feel inadequate. Useless. Weak.

Stop and stare,
you start to wonder why you're here not there.

i think im moving but i go nowhere,
yeah i know that everyone gets scared..

Labels: Beloved CCA, dearest pugi

Friday, July 18, 2008 9:19 AM
Shush, but you do put a smile on my face ; sugar.

Eileen woke up at 4plus a.m in the morning today because Daniel called to wake her up to do her summations. She was darn happy that she was able to wake up, but whats most depressing was, she fell asleep at 5, waking up to her own stupid alarm at 540, and she's supposed to take the 6 a.m. bus. she rushed like a super mad lady, and made it to the bus stop, taking the 607 a.m bus. she reached the school at 650, and thought she was late because she was supposed to meet her friend, smurfs, at 645. Smurfs hat not arrived, even when it was 7. she arrived at 710. So, eileen did her summations, no, she rushed through her summations with Alex. He is a nice guy.

Today, she didnt have any mood to do anything. she kept quiet throughout GP, and she did her own work. She tried not to doze off during Chemistry lecture, but it was inevitable, even though her eyes were forced open. Eileen also feels that Mr Chee is the nicest maths tutor in the school of NYJC. He is the nicest, kind-est, most jovial, most helpful, and cutest maths tutor ever! He is also very patient and is not sarcastic. (:

Eileen went to Mcdonalds with her friends, and they joked alot. Hmm,s she did laugh along, it was really fun there for her. And she thinks sherlyn draws darn well too (:

She did the Pugilistic noticeboard together with ellene, and gavin. However, Gavin left at 730 to visit the doctor. She did it with ellene, and it was a very fun experience. Ellene and eileen worked darn hard, they didnt want the seniors to feel disappointed with the 30th batch pugilistic. They did till 1050, and went home. Ellene sent Eileen home in her dad's car, sort of. EILEEN IS SO THANKFUL! well, she's so tired.

And she did something that made her damn happy today.
Today, she shredded two of the ugliest pugilistic photos into a thousand pieces, and cut away certain parts that still can be kept and shown on the board. Useless things, below to the bin- thats what she told gavin.

And as she toss those shredded pieces into the bin, she felt this surge of courage and freedom. And she is thankful to TERRYPUPPY. Thanks for those nice advice and all, and thanks for your messages. you are such a nice Ex- VP.

HOHOHO.
Eileen is yours truly.
And she's so tired, she's going to sleep.
No doubt, with a smile on her face.
(:

Thursday, July 17, 2008 6:33 AM
Time cannot erase a feeling this strong,

We took loadsa photos two days back, with vish and Piano's camera. and i edited some of them, cant edit anymore, am not feeling well, thus im going to sleep. Screw summations.

A new island has been found - ah Ger island, lets sing the ah-ger-julah.

the laughter, the jokes, the funny people.

The closest MSTER, the closest buddy in NY, the best friend i want forever.
Thanks piano yuanshin (:

The smurfy us! vishalini and eileen (:

Please do not mumble (:

Byebye people. I love all my friends.

5:11 AM
My world, has twice as many stars in the sky.

I wasn't angry at the meeting today, seriously, i was just quiet. I didnt talk much, in fact, i only spoke thrice.
The first thing i said was , " perform"
The second thing i said was, " Just get Mdm Tan here and we'll talk."
The third thing i said was, " bye."

Thats all. Im gonna train doubly hard, serious. If there's anything, Pugilistic does not need any help from That Thing.

Beast Bastard whatever, however.
That Thing,
only tong pei will know.

_________________________________

Happy Birthday to Mr Neo.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:11 AM
Walk the world round

Pugilistic is flying effed up. Seriously, i really rather spend more time on OSLE than my CCA. And what will the reason be? the reason is that firstly, Pugilistic has got too many people who shirk responsibilties, and that they are entieely not commited. Im not saying that im an angel, but hey, at least when there was supposed to have CCA yesterday, i intended to stay and i only learnt from Ellene that we dont have to go because there are like, the only two of us? Tell me. How is CCA gonna continue with two peeps.

No clue? Eureka.

And P.S. If you're offended, it doesnt matter, because that'll mean, you, yourself, is guilty of your own effing actions.

Im disappointed, and kinda peeved. Peeved because the seniors always always think that im the most slack in the entire CCA when i have never ever skipped CCA except for yesterday. HELLO? I may be looking tired and all, but come on, im not some fit ass who can stretch like no turdcake's business, and do those strenous exercises with bright happy smiles when all i could do was to concentrate on lifting my arms and legs at the correct positions. I am not a slacker.

If i were a slacker, i wouldnt have passed all my subjects for MYE.
If i were a slacker, i'd have joined some slack ass CCA like... what, chess?
If i were a slacker, i'd have gotten an MC for every single thing i dont wanna attend.
If i were a slacker, i'd have quit pugi the moment i joined, which still confounded me, because i do not know why i joined.

Shit. Got myself knee- high in a puddle of trubble. Seriously, i am guilty, on behalf of the entire CCA. This is because i felt bad for Jiaolian. He cant earn his due wages just because there's nobody he can teach for training. I feel like giving up you know, like really washing my hands off the CCA. But i wont, because i promised i wont.

Promises are NOT meant to be broken, in case you havent realised.

And P.S. talk about what the excos have learnt from LTC- well, two peeps only. And all they care about was time urgency. I agreed time is important, and being punctual is a virtue. But then again, come on come on. Execute punishment like pumpings and all - sorry, blatantly, they dont work on me.

You may think i have serious Attitude Problm, but yeah, those dumb punishments will never have no great impacts on me, truthfully, because, what are those pumpings and extra rounds supposed to make me think?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Today was a tiring day. I was late again, 2 times consecutively, i must make an effort to reach school on time. Promise promise.

Today, i had my first GP tuition after school together with Piano, sher, Vish and Jiaxin, at Sher's huse. Her house is so neat and prettyy, and seems really cosy. The GP lesson was alright, that one man's teaching paper 2. and i think he is good (: Im looking forward to more lessons!

Daddy came and fetched me home, we had dinner together, and he sent me home, before going to my uncle's house. I fell asleep in the car, so im so tired, im going off now,

Oh , BTW,'
You may be a total ass,
a stuck up idiot,
and a filthy loaded monkey,
and although you deserve a kick in the groin, a punch on the nose, and all,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU YEMIN!
its tomorrow, 160708.
He's gonna be a 20 years old baby.

hahas. goodnight.

Monday, July 14, 2008 3:50 AM
Pictures of you , pictures of me, hung upon the wall, for the world to see

HAPPINESS. ME.
Thanks to all my friends who have been there for me always.

Anyways, i was late for school today, Hunni and i reached school at 855, and we missed the morning assembly. Had lessons, and Vish seemed angry today. I dont blame her, because we always joke about her being a black cat and blah blah, but i hope she doesnt takes it to heart, and that we dont mean it Smurfs! Cheeer up! and you can be a best friend again!

I almost fell asleep during Chemistry, and i slept throughout Chinese. I am not a delinquent. I am just really tired. The camp totally exhaust me out. and now im still very tired. Am running a slight fever too, but thats okay. It'll be better soon!

I am now doing my research for OSLE team name. Am thinking of the Greek gods for some reason. And there's OSLE lunch on wednesday! YAYNESS! I love those friends!

There is also GP tuition tomorrow, first lesson, i hope it goes well.
i didnt go for Pugi today, because out of 5 peeps in the CCA, 3 wasnt going. And theres only me and ellene. So, what for? What can we do with 2 people. So ellene called mdm tan, and she said we were allowed to go! YAY! If i had gone for Pugi, i'd have been dead by now.
SOOOO HAPPPPPY TOGETHER.

From left to right : eileen, yuanshin, and Sher!
The masking tapes are just stuck there randomly!

Do Re Mi. eileen , sher, yuanshin.

Hope piano gets well soon!

Oooooh darling cuz you'll always be my baby.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 12:53 AM
All good things come to an end,

HOLA PEOPLE! I AM BACK!

Question that is going round my mind, } Should the OSLE team to Yunnan be called, SPARTANS? Denial suggested this name because the Spartans are a small group of people, and yes, although they are little in number, they still proved themselves efficient by standing up for their rights, which, ahem, includes, killing everyone. I thought it was a kinda great name, until Miss Darrell said that, well, she'll address us as Spartans if we choose that, and can you actually imagine that? For instance, in the canteen, she'll g " Spartans!" and then we'll all flee from embarrassment because Spartans seems so... I cant exactly put my finger to what it is that is embarrassing, maybe Xinyi is right, it is embarrassing because of that epic movie " meet the spartans"

Besides that, lets blog about the camp. Initially, my honest opinion was that, i planned to not go, because i forgot to bring along a sleeping bag, my jacket, and a number of other stuffs. I felt so deprived of clothing and all, i wanted so badly to go home, because i felt so tired after lessons ended at 5 plus. But then, i dont know what held me back, i didnt go home, instead i decided to stay for it. And im glad i did, because it really is a meaningful camp, and it was fun because there was Sher and Piano too. And actually, it was also because everyone in the camp is nice, really nice and friendly, and there's this sort of teamwork and jokes and all that gives this really familiar and warm feeling that was lost when i came to NYJC, and was eventually founded, back, byt the MSTERS.

The first day, when we arrived, it was already 6, so we met, wrote our names on masking tape, and stuck it on our left hand side. we got our whistles ( Piano, sher and i took the green ones). We interacted on our own accord, talking to different people, introducing ourselves, and eventually, we had a presentation by Mr Ng i think, about China. You might think it is boring, but i didnt think it is. I paid attention throughout the whole presentation, and i copied down almost every slides. I gained a very deep insight of China, and its ethnic races, as well as many controversies in it. The talk was good.

We had chicken rice for dinner, and we really wasnt antio social! Sher, piano, and i were sitting together with Mr Mark and Ms seah for dinner. We realised that although they seemed pretty harsh to us during the interview, they are really nice and caring teachers. I appreciate what they have done for us, together with Miss Darrell. Oh, which reminds me, Miss Darrell walked past, and she thought we were anti social, so she said, " mingle" ( with this funny hand gesture ) , and the three of us laughed and laughed so much, piano almost choked.

We played this game after that, some bang bang thingy. That was to know the names of one another. The game is really funny, because of the reactions of the people. I survived till there were only 3 people left, me included. and the game couldnt continue because you have to call out a person's name and that named person must squat down while the two persons beside that named person must gun each other- thus, with three people, the game obviously cannot continue. After that, we played another game which i dont like, some blow wind blow thing, and we had a talk about goals, expectations and all that. We also set the groud rules for ourselves, as a team, and if we dont abide by them, we are to carry out our own punishments that we have set.

Then we went to wash up, and we slept. I didnt sleep. I was thinking of stuffs we did in day one because i was feeling very cold. I didnt have any jacket or sleeping bag, but kind piano and sher opened up their sleeping bags and i slept in between them. I had only a cushion from the lit class, and the girls wanted their fans to be at number 5. So i was cold, and i was bitten by god knows what, mosquitoes, or are they bitten by the ants? Piano and Sher slept, not after we joked about Xinyi talking to her mickey and minnie. I couldnt sleep, man, i was wishing so badly i could have the comfort of my bed. I dont know if i can even survive in China.

Okay, lets talk about china. We'll go to Kunming- where there is a walmart and a carrefour, to stock up our supplies, and we'll then go to Lijiang, if im not wrong. Lijiang has got those really pugilistic world kinda houses, that look like temples, and i feel really lucky that we're going there, even if its only 2 days, well, this is because the living conditions in Lijiang is not that bad as Dali. I shall not drink too much water or eat too much in dali, lol. I think thats what most people will do. Daniel and Rachael shared with us, a presentation, of their recce trip there, and well, they told us of the toilet experience. There are no doors for the toilet. And there are no cubicles. It's just, okay, imagine, you walk in, and there's this long canal, a deep long stretch of hole, and then you just squat, teeter on the edge of the canal, and you do your business. Okay, and the thing is, people come in and out, and you just expose your butt and all to them.

I am freaked out, because i am a really, hygenic, and clean person. I cannot stand that the sanitary facilities there are... I dread the toilets. And i heard we'll be staying in those Army Barracks, triple storeyed- the army barracks has the same kinda canal-ish toilet. Shit. not literally.

2 weeks in dali, im so gonna faint. Plus, we are gonna build biogas tanks for the villagers, for them to be able to encrypt methane for their daily uses. I shall give it my all, do my best.

Second day? we had physical training, the usual warm up, and running 2 rounds, and after that we played basketball. Jiarong, Denial, Emo kid aka Mr Chee aka Yi jie ( i think) , youyu ( the taiwan guy) , Eunice, and a few others are really good basketballers - Luzhi ( gravy) included too. For day 2's activity, we went to chinatown, after a talk/presentation by Miss Darrell on Service- learning ( which was funnily interrupted by the testing of the PA system, and the sudden playing of Apologize over the PA system! (; ) There was also a service learning that we did. We were tasked to buy a bottle of mineral water,and go up to someone in chinatown who is in need of water, and he must take it. My entire group, consisting of Jiarong, Lu zhi, Xinyi, Yi jia, Nabihah, Eunice, as well as i, we all did it.

I felt traumatized, disturbed, and was on the verge of tearing, when i saw this silver- haired old lady sitting on the floor, so frail, trying to reach out for discarded pieces of cardboard to eke a living. She smiled with so much appreciation when Xinyi handed her that bottle of water. I felt like crying, a woman as old as her, struggling to support herself, seriously, i am not melodramatic, and she didnt doubt us, didnt ask if we poison the water or what, but accept the water with all her heart. This made me guily, and i felt that, hey! a bottle of water could make someone so happy, and me? i have so much water at home, a comfortable home, a bed and everything, and i really think i dont deserve it. I will cherish all that i have from today onwards. I swear.

We walked around chinatown, saw many landmarked areas, and that trip really opened my eyes to the beauty of the conservation of the chinese culture. It's as though i was viewing Chinatown in another person's eyes. It was enriching, i went to places i have been to, but never really seen them from a backpacker's point of view, but there to casually window shop.

We went to a tea house - tea chapter, after that. Miss darrell treated us to it. We occupied 4 tables, and our group discussed on our feelings, the reflectons of our trip to Chinatown. We were shown the ways to serve, smell and drink the tea. It was definitely an eye opener, i was really amazed that there's such a thing. The waitress showed us how to serve the tea, and i translated what she said to Nabihah , because she was the only malay. After she finished showing us, Jiarong served us tea. He's so funny when serving, because he couldnt balance the teapot, and you have to pour the water into the pot in a clockwise direction as part of the chinese culture. we all laughed heartiily, and talked so much, i was having so much fun. the tea was fragrant, and smelled sweet, however, it tasted bitter! Nabihah had to swish the tea down with water, hahas.

Went to maxwell food centre to eat, then went back to school. I saw Karen, and Jiaxin! We bathed, then had a talk on the recce trip again, shared reflections then we went to sleep. We talked so much nonsense, and piano kept camwhoring herself, taking really spastic photos, and we laughed at the photos she took. I wanted to wait till 2 to see if Sher's rash is better, but she fell asleep at 1 plus, and i slept a little later than her, with the earphone in my right ear, as i was sharing my mp3 with piano. Thanks sher and piano! thank you all for your sleeping bags, and the warmth!

We were supposed to go to the Kranji Mudflat today, but the tide was too high. So we had PT in the morning, breakfast, and then ice breakers. The ice breaking games were really fresh ideas, and i thoroughly enjoyed having fun with my group! They rock! they are really humorous people! We had a debrief and we went home.

It was, a really fun camp, i enjoyed it. And i also made many new friends. thanks people!

I will start to cherish every single thing i have right this moment.

Im laughing at something with my sister right now. Ip Yin Cheong Instant messaged me at MSN. He asked me if i have any problem. So i said, no thanks for asking. Then he asked me if i have any unhappiness with him right now, and i should voice it out. I was like huh? And he said , many people wanna know blah blah. So i was like, he didnt wanna tell me who are the people who wanna know, and he didnt wanna say anything. I was already getting pissed at him for disturbing me when i was blogging. So i said, " hahas. my only problem is - fuck off. " He said, " thx you slut." I said welcome.

People like him, i dont bother. Its a waste of time. All good things come to an end, especially sad for the OSLE camp. but you know something, the relationshipwith him- im glad it came to an end.

Goodnight people, im going to sleep now. It is 1708 now.

the centipede game, i am so short! bleah!

From left to right : Eileen, Eunice, Nabihah, Yi Jia, Xin yi, Lu Zhi and Jiarong. (:

thanks to Daniel and rachael, Miss darrell, Ms Seah, and Mr goh for the camp, it was hell loadsa fun. (:

Thursday, July 10, 2008 7:19 AM
I slapped my hand before i reached out for a chocolate bar

To yuanshinnnn: And i am staring at my bag, lost in my own thoughts, i really dont know how to begin packing! HAHA. and P.S. after the camp, you'll still see me hovering over those unpacked stuffs, wondering how i can pack the bag!

Yeahs, im trying to pack my bag right now. but then again, i want to bring many things along with me. My sister just came home and she tempt me with her wasabe seaweed. I love seaweed, they taste so yummy! A simple aquatic plant, and yet, they can taste so yummy.

So, i was saying, i want to bring many other redundant things like my tatty bear, my eeyores, the old tattered foam filled bear that daddy bought for me, and okay, practically my entire bed. Thats impossible, i know, i guess i'll secretly sneak an eeyore into my bag.

During the camp, we'll be going to places like Chinatown and the Kranji mudflat. I hope the mud wont destroy my already tattered shoes because i do love those shoes. The stuffs that im gonna bring are strewn all over the floor as well as the sofa. I dont know how to pack, and i dont feel like beginning. Call me lazy, i admit im a bag of lazybones. Bleah.

I just confirmed some stuffs with Daniel over MSN. Hehs, i think he likes this girl in o8o3, no worries, i wont tell anyone. Bleah.

Im going off now, eileen! you should really start packing! Dont be so lazy, but first, you ought to get yourself some dinner. goodbye!

See you all on sunday!

2:35 AM
Of all the things that we could do

" love is never boastful , nor angry . . ."

Above is a phrase from the movie, a walk to remember, i think it goes like that. I thought of it suddenly and found myself smling at that phrase. I agree, when you love someone, neither party should, boast to one another.

A blog is like a journal, sorry, error, a blog is a journal. I have been thinking of making my blog a private one. However, this other voice in my mind told me not to. I realised that, when i read strangers' blogs, like really random people that i dont know, i find myself learning things, and sometimes, laughing at what they write, sometimes, feeling a little sad at things that happen to them. I guess, what im saying is that, i dont wanna make my blog private. Probably, it could be, you know, because, i think that maybe, just maybe, someone else at the other end of the globe, may read my blog, and may be, uhh, cheered up, or i dont know. Just a thought that someone, like zacky, will read it, and share my joys and sorrow? Okay, enough rambling uh huh.

Nowadays, after i finish my blog post, i dont read them anymore. i just publish them, so probably, there are many many spelling errors, hehhehs sorry. Yesterday, i chatted with the team leader for OSLE, daniel. He's a funny guy thats so into star wars. When i asked him whats so interesting about people fighting with lightsticks, he said " what lightsticks! they are LIGHTSABERS!"

Okay. sorry then, i dont have interest in star wars, harry potter reign on a much higher rung of the ladder compared to star wars. Speaking of star wars, my mind's imagining honeystars, i dont know why though.

Today was a really fun day with the MSTERS. we rushed to potong pasir during the common lunch break, and went to finalise the tee. After which, we rushed back, and were 20 minutes late for GP lesson, and we still had to finish an essay! I couldnt think of anything, but i tried my best. Probably it'll be out of point, bleah. After that, i walked with Yuanshin mster to Serangoon station, and we parted ways there. She's such a funny girl, and she bought such a huge curry puff today! Oh, i think she is very happy too, since she managed to get back her water bottle from Patrick Star! I teamed up with her too, for PE today, and we did tennis. It was kinda alright, just that, my forearm and fingers hurt after that since i held the racket very tightly. It was fun and we keep hitting the ball the wrong way. Thanks piano, it was fun! (:

Did i mention that there's the OSLE camp tomorrow? Yeah, it will be from friday to sunday. Initially, i dont feel like going, but oh well, there isn't any choice, so i have to go. And there's the horrible PT ): Im not gonna do any studying or revision today, i feel so tired, and besides, i havent packed my bag.

Just wanna thank terrypuppy too, for saying he'll help me with maths, and the msters for making me laugh always, as well, as rasina! Girl, you are missed! ):

Good day.

JIAYOU ONE NEEDLE! YOU CAN DO IT

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 1:04 AM
There is no such word as emo

I need help pronto. My left hand hurts mega time. I sploshed scalding hot water over the portion between my left thumb and index finger, now it really hurts. It's just a raw red patch there and it is really very painful. And i dont know what to do! I was making a cup of tea, when i spilled the hot water onto my left hand. There's only my grandmother and graddaddy at home, and i cant tell me, because they'll worry unnecessarily. Grrr, any advice?

I didnt blog yesterday, which was kinda weird, because i had time to blog, and yet i didnt. I wanted to, seriously, because the MSTERS were so funny yesterday, we had so much fun. All the Msters blogged, except me. I felt as though i have disappoint them. Thanks for making me laugh always, people. (:

Anyway, we were, most of the MSTERS were, quite angry with yemin yesterday. I was so pissed that i kept quiet throughout, and didnt talk to him today. He thinks just because he has got some filthy 400 thousand in his bank account, he can like, you know, insult us as money suckers? WTF.

Uhhhh, i got back my biology today. i got the highest in class, with a 23 upon 70 for paper 2. I am not disappointed, neither am i happy. Im just, neutral. We got a new biology teacher, her name is Ms Pay? It sounds like that, but i dont know the spelling for her surname. She seems nice though. I, again, am neutral towards her, just that, i kinda like Mr neo too. After that we slacked in class, and then came Chemistry tutorial. I was actve during today's chemistry tutorial, and jun- okay, aaron, looked at me as though i was crazy. Maybe i am.

I slept through 15 minutes of GP lecture, i really was darn tired. Oh, did i mention that wu lao shi had already left for Beijing? She'll be back in 6 weeks time, and dang, chinese lessons with her were so much fun i miss her so. This new chinese teacher, is an old uncle that looks like a pervert. He laughs and smiles to himself so much that i had trouble completing the reading of the paragraph because i couldnt stop giggling.

I went back to Damai today, it was a nostalgic trip. Mrs Eileen Lee treated us to eclairs and it was really yummy. We walked around, talked to some teachers and then we left. The main purpose of our visit was to collect out thermometers because there'll be temperature taking on friday. And we couldnt find ours, sighs, i guess they are all lost.

Im addicted to David Cook's Always be my baby. It is a really sentimental and sweet song.

My hand still hurts, dang.

Thanks to Yuanshin, who gave me a pat on the back today. recently, i laugh, yet talk too little that im feeling kinda, not me. I believe this is wont last, and i'll be having my OSLE camp this friday i think.

I hope tong pei will cheer up, and not be too sad over his results.

Monday, July 7, 2008 7:04 AM
The lions sleep tonight

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lions sleep tonight.

Hahas, anyway, Yuan shin asked me if i wanna join her for GP tuition, its like 2 hours a session, and i think there are 4 sessions a month, plus, it is a home tuition, besides, if there're 5 people, each person will only have to fork out 24 bucks. i think it is kinda a good deal, so please, if you are interested, tell us yeah? but there are only 2, or probably one vacancy left.

I talked to brother loo just now, not my real brother, the other surnamed loo guy in my class, Junxian. Okay, i shall call him Aaron. There is a secret i cannot say, but then again, he is not a bad guy okay! He is a rather nice guy, one of the best capital R's in my class! Okay, he is not one of the best, he is the best.

He never boasts, act clever or what. He lends a ear when i talk to him. thanks man. doubt he'll even read this but then again, it doesnt matter. i just wanna blog. Cousin gavin is back from LTC, and i think he had fun. thats great though! And which brings me to another thing, pugi training resumes this wednesday.

That is quite sad, i tried doing the Ma bu just now, but then i got tired after 2 minutes. shame on me, but then again, i am not really good at that to begin with. tried doing bridge, and i did it! Then i did some stretching lazily, and after that i cant be bothered.

My sister says i type too long, those posts, but then i love to just ramble on and on and not stop. If you get bored of reading, then dont read, nobody's forcing you to with a gun to your head, right?

I am a really happy girl today. Jo Po sister said that i am a " kai xin guo" ( happy fruit ) , really? Hmm, probably, but whatever it is, i am a really happy person today. I feel like writing a poem now. But i write such crappy poems i laugh when i read them.

There used to be times
where you didnt make my day
But memories of our happy lives
Kept my doubts at bay.

now that i am free
of endless hurtful pain,
toss them high above the trees
and with that, happiness i could gain

I guess what im saying
is that you were not the only happiness
that i had been having,
in fact you were more of a pitiful sadness.

So now i release my fingers
on the sands of time i had clung desperately to
certain that my life will be better
and i walk away, faith my only tool.

YAY! i wrote it myself. i hope it is nice, anyway, i am off now. have fun people.
school resumes tomorrow, and for the first time in the history of NYJC,
i look forward to school to meet my friends.
Goodnight!

Sunday, July 6, 2008 10:55 PM
But you'll never fly with someone elses' wings

Just a short post to scream out how i feel right now. I always pride myself on being good at analogies, and drawing great parallels between analogies and reality. But i really failed miserably. I couldnt even draw a simple parallel between Haniffa's analogy of " dont cry over spilt milk" and my own life.

im okay already. i tell people that i am, and they believed me. I am not putting on fronts anymore, or am i? I dont know also. i feel myself stuttering right now, stumbling upon words, i dont know even, how i can pen them down.

Words from unparted lips
when life takes a huge dip
plunging down into abyss
a fragment of me.

There is no pot of gold
over that so called rainbow
as we frantically try to hold
onto fruits of seeds we sow

How long more, we question
are we able to live, this captivation
by life's beautiful temptations
as we put on our best ostentations.

Humans are not fake
they are just not brave enough to see
how many miracles one can make
beyond those deep blue seas.

Ughhhh. Crappy poem i wrote, seriously, my poetry skills are bad. If you can figure out what im trying to say, good for you then.

Take your sweeet sweet time,
I'll be here when you change your mind.

9:45 AM
you took everything, while i was staring at the sun

Yeahs, im currently addicted to this song by the roosters ( i think so) , " staring at the sun". I have come to blog. Only to realise that i dont really know what to blog about. Oh, just something. I think my family is wacky, or peculiar. It's like, us kids eat the strangest things at night, like how im eating mentos now while typing this, and about half an hour or so, back, all three of us were chewing on chocolate bars.

And i remember, a few of us 0802-ians went to Mac during one of the days of the PW intensive week, and most of them were having the breakfast meals, while i had ice cream. they looked at me as though i was mad, and Haniffa was like, " nobody eats those in the morning, eileen."

My reply was, " who determines the night and the day?" Which i really think is true. To me, night is when i sleep. And i dont see why its inappropriate to eat ice cream just because its morning. call me weird if you want, i cant be bothered.

Today had ben a rather happy day. a family day. A typical sunday i guess, nevertheless, it was a really well spent day with the family, and i watched Spiderman 2 just now. I can watch it over and over again, like a million times over, and i'll never get bored of spiderman! tobby Mcguire is like, one of my favourite guy celebrities! Afterwhich, i watched pushing daisies. Seriously, i like that show. It's hilarious, i mean, well, at least, the narrator is, and their actions are kinda exaggerated at times! (:

It's coming to 1 now, and i just had my bath like half an hour ago. I feel so refreshed now.

I’m running away from this messed up place
I’m breaking free, yeah yeah

I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of high coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I was staring at the sun...

I know its time to run..

Saturday, July 5, 2008 9:09 AM
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest

I realised, i havent blogged for several days already. This is not a usual thing for me, since i blog every single day, whenever i can. Piano asked me why i didnt blog. Tong pei asked me why i didnt blog. Smurfs also told me to blog. So, why didnt i blog earlier? seriously, i dont know why, but i've got this feeling that, i dont wanna blog for the time being, dont feel like saying what i feel. but then, i felt like blogging a few moments ago, so yeah, here it is. On friday, Msters went to potong pasir and we went to check out the information on the tee and all. It was a funny day, many things happened, even when we were leaving the school. Mster saw something, they all saw, only i didnt. And i dont know why, but i wont say what it is that i saw which made me go to seven eleven to grab a bar of chocolate, despite the stupid sorethroat that has yet to recover.

Yeahs, checked tee, then went home. Haniffa and i took the train to Serangoon MRT, and from there we proceeded to take 22 home. Piano left her water bottle at Patrick's office! And i called patrick to ask him to help us keep it for the time being. Just praying that he wont like, you know, disfigure the bottle, or whatnot. haha. I went home, and helped to pack the mountain of clothing that totally burst my wardrobe. It took a hell load of time, and i didnt really go online, so i just flicked some channels, watched some TV, and slept. I slept damn well, and woke up only to mom's alarmed voices over the phone. apparently, my grandmommy went all by herself to the airport to look for, or in other words, spy, on my grandpappa. she suspected him of bringing another old granny to Jakarta with him, so she wanted to spy on him. However, my dad did tell her to go with my mom, and when my mom was up, she was already gone. So, we kinda panicked, calling my aunts and uncles, and they went to the markets and all to look for her. Afterwhich, i couldnt follow along because i had to go to the MOE excel fest with piano, and also because it wouldnt be nice if the others went and i didnt go since im the NE rep- so they went to the airport, and fortunately, she was there, sitting on the benches! Woah, at least she's fine. I was so worried! Well, my grandmother has walking difficulties because she suffered from a stroke before.

The MOE excel fest was, hell, it was darn boring. Piano and i went in there, walked around and got out in less than 10 minutes. We saw NYJC's booth manned by a few 0803 people, one of them being daniel. But we didnt talk to him, so we left. We walked around the huge mall, and Piano got herself a hotdawg ( lol) bun. I had to leave Piano to her shopping and meet up with hui ting because we have got two free tickets to the NDP preview. Pei yan gave them to use because TPJC ( some students) are cheerleading, so they got the tickets, and yayness! we went and we got the goodie bags too! We saw Jake after he finished his cheerleading, but we didnt manage to sit with him! Kinda missed him too! It was kinda interesting, an eye opener, since this was the first time i've been to Marina bay for NDP. anyway, i cant find any words to describe how it's like, well, just let the pictures do the talking then i guess.