The Brinjal's

Monday, June 30, 2008 12:57 AM
Leavin' } jesse mccartney

yups, im hooked onto this song, its so catchy and so upbeat, it automatically gets me into the lets-sing-aloud mood. anyways, i chanced upon this song in a friend's cellphone, and i got addicted to it! Today had been a boring day. I went to school bright and early only for a pathetic 35 minutes listening, plus, some shit talk about project work.

PW. You super suck big time. Dont get me wrong, i do like my group members, they are funny, comical and jovial people. I know sometimes, i mean, deep down everyone has got this tinge of unhappiness or personal affairs that get them all weepy and emotional, but, yeahs, we just put on a brave front, go out ahead, and be jovial. And thats something in Anna that i appreciate, and admire.

Be strong girl! (: POPPINS' AHOY! You are a pretty tough nut already, so keep going! Thanks! XD

And well, ramblings. I talked to haniffa, so much today. We talked about many many things, but, of course, the first thing on our list was NYJC.
this effed up school.

Am i regretting that i am in NYJC?
Im not sure. To me, i go to school, for the sake of my friends. I do not have any preferences for any other schools, though i'll love to join Rasina in her academic journey. that is something sad i've always wallowed myself in the despair and self pity when i studied without her with me, egging me on, and studying together.

Without her, i cant seem to make it. BIGTIME. I just heard that biology is like so super dead. nobody got above 30 upon 70 for the section B in the level? Besides that, my chemistry is so screwed. no comments for the other subjects. Haniffa consoled me just now, and told me we shouldnt cry over spilt milk.

Yeahs, i've given up. here's the white flag.
I admit, im a weakling, i hate it when i've mugged, and mugging does not pay off.
Sadly, this is the kinda treatment you get in JC.
there is no remedy.

I left the school at 1 together with haniffa, walking out of the school grousing and grumbling, and screaming a last phrase of " F-king school," before heaving a huge sigh. Seriously, i dont get the school's system. Why should there be an intensive PW week?

Can i ever try to remind the principal, that im so not into PW? I have no qualms in getting a C you know, i just dont wanna drag my other teammates down. Sighs. And oh, i collected my testimonial today in my seconday school.

Strangely, i do not have any nostalgic pangs when i entered the school, and saw so many damaians, sadly, values degraded as generations passed by, them looking like retarded delinquents hogging the bus stops and whatnot.

Everybody deserves a chance in life. It's because of a chance that i met my friends, and come to which, i remembered something. I met this guy while going to school on the day of level camp.

It was the second day of level camp, and i was contemplating if i should even go, when i thought, heck, just go for it. And i went, took 22, i was late, and there wasnt any other NYJCians in sight, until this guy boarded and i was staring at him, wondering if he's a JC1 going to the camp too. Well, i was late, and i was pretty scared since it's barely been a week and i was already late. So, when we alighted, i went to him and tapped him on the shoulder, and asked him if we're late. He said yes, but he didnt make any efforts to walk faster, so i walked alongside him and talked to him. He must be pretty shocked i guess, since well, i stared at him in the bus, that must had made him feel paranoid, haha. He must be thinking why i stared at him, or rather, how he looked, maybe his zippers aint up or something? ^__^
He introduced himself as Arnold.

Why do i remember this? I dont know why too, for some reason, my brain seems to register the weirdest of every single thing. hold on, lemme get this lappie off my laps before i get my ovaries fried. Oh, i think i remember because his name is special, i have heard of this name, in American movies and all, but never really had known of Singaporeans being named Arnold. Yeahs, i guess thats why. I bet he couldnt even remember my name, thats predictable of guys though,

Okays, and my heart totally melted today. As in, i was so touched today.
I was at the benches outside LT4, when someone called out my name! It's Jieyang the broom, and weimin! they specially said "Hi!" to me, and they smiled, nono, they grinned!
So sweet man, i totally appreciated that! It was kinda touching too (:

THANKS GUYS.

i shall go off now, to slack, roll, jump about, skip, hop, and probably even sleep. There's the same PW intensive thing tomorrow again, till5, i dont feel like going.

NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT.
but tomorrow is sherlyn's birthday, hmmms?

Sunday, June 29, 2008 7:07 AM
of wacky parents, a happy dinner, and home sweet home

yeahs, this post will be all about that.
And just now, while mom and dad were quarreling after mom came back from wandering along the streets, the pitiful kids got stuck in between. They kept dragging us in, asking us who's right and who's wrong.
We refuse to take sides, so we just shook out heads and said " dont know" each time they asked us something. But in the end, sister spoke up, and then i followed suit, which made dad, a little reproachful of himself, on what he said, thus he spoke to mom gently. Initially, mom's still very unwilling to patch up, however, after more gentle words from dad, she relented, and they officially became wacky parents of the year. They joked, and acted like immature kids, but well, at least everything's good.

And all of us are feeling so happy. after a sumptuous meal of chilli, and black pepper crabs, nice nice sotongs, and barbecued stingray, im totally saturated. Damn happy for words. and oh, i watched incredible tales too, and the plot is seriously, lame.

And now, im watching pushing daises, and i really think the show is cute. Such a sweeet show.

and thanks to piano who said she'll help me print the PW notes! (: THANKS!

Early in the afternoon, i went out with smurfs to get sherlyn's present, and we talked, ate and laughed so much. it was a fun day, thanks girl. after which, i met up with sister, and we got some vegetables from our aunt in lavender, and then we went back home.

It was a fun day. Today is the 29th, i went to city hall today.
1 month and 1 day ago, on the 28th, i went to city hall too.
Sighs, memories.

Goodnight people.

4:00 AM
What about a happy family?

I dont mean to be twitty or what, but i just wanna put this short post up.
I've got alot i wanna post, but i really havent got any mood to do so now.

Yes, im very very troubled, very very sad.
My whole family is like, going insane this very minute.

A minute ago, we were like one happy family, we were going for dinner.
the next minute, my parents had a mega huge fight.
my mom said she wanna stand in the middle of the road, and get knocked down by a car.
My dad, by all means, he said, go ahead. One less member to feed anyway.
He went to sleep.
Mom's missing.

the three of us are in our room now, my sister on the laptop,
me on the desktop, brother's cutting chinese articles for his homework.
We all dont know what to do.
this is a really scary thing, no more a happy family.
What happened?

My sister and i agreed on something,
we dont wanna get married man.
We hate fights, and fights seem to be inevitable in a marriage.
No, we dont wanna lead a life of fighting.

I hate this feeling. I guess, marriage is just a stupid contract that puts two together, and does not have any guarantees of everlasting love. Whatever happened to the purity, the simplicity, the bliss of being in love, and getting marriage?

My impression of love is tarnished.

And yes, words exchanged are so harsh,
words hurt as much as any goddamn guns.

Saturday, June 28, 2008 3:16 AM
hahaha

Im at my cousin's house right now, and the cousins are so cute. I feel really bad just now, because i was so angry at my brother, i threw a stool at him, and almost hit him had he not dodge the chair in time. And my sister was like, yelling at me, asking me why i did that. anyways, i took down that previous post with the poem, because i felt bad, im sorry to those who i have not credited. anyways, woah, the second anyway already, i cant keep using anyway, god, my english seems to be really limited huhs.

I knew something yesterday, which made me part glad, part, confused. Karen said it once, nopes, she asked me," why do guys lie?" " is it just their nature or what?"

Im not sure too, i guess, well, i dont know man. I guess there are good lies and bad lies, and well, everybody lies. Sighs, i dont know how to continue typing also. Sometimes, i feel like, im not being true to myself if i dont put down how i feel, truthfully.

But the thing is, suddenly i just dont wanna let people know how i feel. Seriously man. Maybe its the period. God, forget it.

Hmmms, anyways, third anyway already! Sighs, maybe i should just write down my feelings back in that pink book, blogging seems redundant already,

Current song : leave out all the rest.

Oh yeahs, sorry, was supposed to meet the clique at 230 like that, but i missed the meeting, i woke up at 215. sorry people. sleeping takes away all inhibitions hmms? because when you sleep, you dream...

Goodbye, wont be blogging anymore already, depending on the mood?
Or maybe the blog can go private, hmms?

Friday, June 27, 2008 2:44 AM
old old old pictures

I havent been putting up photos for quite some time. these are pretty old photos, but thats alright. just put them up here i guess. ha ha. let the series of thousand words begin.

There's a day when i was locked out of the house, and yuan xin kept me company, and then i was so bored, i played with my fingers. This shows a man climbing up the huge steps! (:

Thanks mommy! tatty and i!
tatty seems like it needs a pair of specs! ^^

the tree of love, *smiles*

hahas, the shoes that got me 14 minutes 48 seconds for 2.4 km ;DD

She's my mother

zilch resemblence?

my hands were supposed to form a twist thingy,
i always like to do those, but mom's photography is -.-

During daddy's day, sister and i - our shadows

bugis street 1

bugis street 2

encouragement

the hen and the eggs

mom's marshmallows

Raw

Twist! my favoruite sign!

in the dark

He's O2 jaming.

I shall blog later, today's cousin gina's birthday, have to go for the celebration now, see you all soon! (:

Returned home from the celebration, it was overall, a really fun meeting, because cousins always rock. they are very fun people, and we joke a tad too much. we are not those sensitive people, so we just use sarcasm on each other, and well, the younger ones are really cute too, especially karyn! she's a lovely toddler.

And im really too kiddish? Thats what yuan shin ( hehhehs) told me. Hey! Im a JC1 already, not a K1 piano!

But i easily passed off as a primary six during just now's buffet. Its alright, my gain, their loss.

Piano 1 and i both have telepathy, we got our periods at the same time, and yeahs! i promise i wont let periods affect my mood, i wont pms!

Anyways, i feel pretty disappointed at myself for not eating loads during the buffet, thats so, nevermind. i feel that, im wasting my uncle's money.

Oh, and chinese a level oral today! it was kinda crappy. There were like 8 to 9 chinese words i dont know how to read, so dead man. Screwed up, but i think my conversation should be alright.

Sherlyn's birthday is coming soon! and yay! the mugging days are over , for now.

But i do not want to get any papers back. lol, nopes, i prefer to not know my results forever.

Thats better than knowing and feeling sad.

Im going off now people, to slack, watch videos, watch tv, roll about, and have a high life.

Well, not exactly.

Goodnight.

Thursday, June 26, 2008 5:41 AM
No one, no one, no one,

can get in the way of what i feel for you.
Thats from Alicia Keys, i was listening to it.
But i shouldnt be, i should be mugging my head off for chinese.
Sighs, i procrastinated.
From just now, till now, and what have i been doing in the meantime?
I was online, listening to music, doodling, drawing, rolling about, bathing, singing, colouring.

It's not that im relaxed, its just, i dont want dont want dont want to study for chinese.
But yuan xin kept telling me to study, so i will.

I wish to say i'll breeze through tomorrow, because i've got your support.
But somehow, it doesnt seem appropriate.
Who am i already, i dont know.

Now, im reading aloud the text , my mother. And im only at paragraph 2, there are just too many words i dont know. I wish i dont have to take chinese.

I wish for many things, which reminds me, i've got to set a new wish for the month soon.

The wish for this month, i guess, lets just void it.

I wish for impossble things, far away from material wants, im so unrealistic, please, just smack me back to reality.

My mood has not changed since the previous post, but im not gonna show it anyway.
And thanks to rasina for saying that to me on the clique's blog.
Thanks girl, i miss you.

12:11 AM
Chinese is your mother's tongue.

Chinese, chinese chinese. Chinese tomorrow, i am so dead. Aaron ( the guy who got the same surname as me, and who said he thought i was a malay so he didnt speak to me in chinese) told me to speak more chinese and that he'll try to talk to me in english everytime he sees me, Tong pei told me to speak more chinese, and read my chinese stuffs, and sister keeps telling me to go and study my textbook. This is all getting too boring. Chinese simply sucks. I tried taking the easy way out, i was listening to jay chou's songs, and i ended up listening to piano pieces of his songs, which is totally not helping.

Sighs, Chinese is very boring, really really really. If i can pass this time's chinese, i'll be really grateful! Yeahs, im a chinese, my family talks to me in chinese, but most of the time, my sister talks to me in english, and my mom and brother talks to me in english too. Except my dad, and obviously my grandparents. In primary school, i used to ace my chinese you know! Then i dont know what happened, ever since secondary 1, my chinese seemed to drop and drop, and oh no, now JC chinese is like so difficult. hehs, now im listening to jay chou's chinese songs again - tian tian de. Gavin and the rest are having econs exams now i think.

I think im stressed. I woke up at around 6 plus today, and i was like, shit im late for chinese exams! Then i realised, chinese is tomorrow. I think im not really stressed, im just, afraid of taking chinese. Chinese must really depends on my mood kinda thing, when i try very best to concentrate, then i will have the mood to do. If not, i can read the same line over and over again, and there goes my pass.

lalalalalalalalalalalala~

( im actually singing.)

Sherlyn's birthday is on the 1st of july, and piano keeps emphasizing that it's the day when the GST rose to 7 percent. LOL. I promise i will study chinese later! I realised that Jay chou's tian tian de, its actually not a very difficult song to understand, compared to his others' . this song is so sweet, i love it loads. It used to have loads of meaning, im not saying it doesnt have any meaning now, its just, just , another song to me. Im now listening to his dandelion's promise. I've watched the video, its so sad.

I remember when i had the first chinese test in JC - the mister TY. I was reading it at home till i fell asleep! Then i didnt study, and i went to school, trying to read as much as i can, only to find myself using 30 minutes for two paragraphs. And the text is like - 15 paragraphs?

SIGHS.
" eileen! be strong! you can do it! just.. read chinese! "

My throat is officially pronounced dead today, 260608.
Hopefully water will revive it, just like how a person is revived by love.

Okay, i shall go and read the stupid textbook.
EILEEN SHALL NOT SLACK.

T____________T
I start listening to piano pieces again - cai hong.
this shall not do.
Im bored, but i wont slack, no more.
GOING TO MUG FOR chinese ):

And i will not drink vitagen , because it is negative spelled backwards ):

gnorts eb lliw I.

JIAYOU everyone.
i shall blog again later.

Eileen is feeling beyond sad right now.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 5:23 AM
Now my heart's in two

Yeah, it definitely is, my heart. Torn into two. Crushed into a thousand pieces, scattered all about the floor. There are many ways that can tear you apart, one is love, and the other, to me , is my studies. suffered both, no wonder my heart's torn. Seriously, i really wonder what im doing in a JC already. I mug like crazy, and i have no life. And the sad thing? MUGGING DOES NOT PAY OFF.

Really, trust me. I screwed up my chemistry paper today. I didnt really expect myself to do well anyway because chemistry is so not my forte, but you know, i mugged so hard, just so i can pass. Passing will suffice, and it can even make me gyrate in neon colours of euphoria okay. But nay, i wont be able to do it, i know it already. It's when you are doing the paper, and you go, shit, i dont know how to do, but just anyhow do, so at least can get some marks. Yeahs, thats the kind of feeling, and you walk out of the exam hall, feeling uber destroyed. And knowing that GH will scold you with sarcasm till you cringe, roll over, and die. It used to happen to me last time, for her assignments and tutorials, and someone will tell me something and i'll feel encouraged. Nevermind BOO, im talking nonsense.

Chocolate rush. My throat is dying. It's on its brink of death, and its yelling out to me, to stop consuming chocolates. Seriously, i need to eat chocolates. Take it that its a form of pamper, i have one more paper left to go, and its Mother tongue, and i just found out, that my A levels mother tongue oral is on this coming friday.

Shit shit shit. my chinese is so bad, the highest i ever got in JC had been 60. Oh no. And i cant pronounce so many things! And i remember that time we had a trial oral, and Wu lao shi told me that i need to expand my vocabulary, because the number of wrong words i had read was like, seriously, too many. Shit, really. Why is there no english oral in the JC education system of cosmopolitan singapore?

SIGHS. still feeling sad over my chemistry, but i guess, i wont mull over it. move on.

I dont have any papers tomorrow, so yay! i dont have to go to school. oh yeahs. just now haniffa and i went to toa payoh NTUC to meet our friends who worked with us last time at Paya Lebar NTUC online. They are still the same crappy people, and we hung around and joked and laughed. I think, i'll never ever live by an hour without laughing. Nisha is still as crazy, and well, you can say, sambal chicken-ish and boob-y. * winks*

It had been fun, and i just reached home not too long ago. I realised, every wrong that i did, every mistake, i should not look at it on the bad side. I need to make mistakes, just to learn who i am, i dont wanna be protected from anything harsh, because, if i am, the one who'll lose out in the end, is me.

So, we just need to stagger back up, and plant your feet on the ground even when we fall. Times like this, its better to stay strong and not do stupid things like cry.
CRYING IS A WASTE OF TIME.

Anyway, i wanna go now, to watch some funny videos haniffa introduced to me, and well, probably sleep early tonight or something. Goodnight people.
And i guess, the person i mentioned in my previous post, who i've been distancing, i guess, he saw my previous post. Im sorry, i hope i hadnt hurt anyone.
Encouragement-ed?
" You'll breeze through tomorrow because you've got my support...."
Sighs.

Monday, June 23, 2008 9:50 PM
holding on to something that just slipped your grasp

I love myself! I love my curly wirly hair, i love my stupid smiles, and i love just being me!
No, im not feeling any sense of euphoria over anything right now, in fact, im far from happy. I just feel that, my curly hair now, seems to give me a very comical and bubbly appearance that i like. And i think i laugh alot nowadays. Even though, there are moments i feel this wave of sadness coming over me because of a particular reason, i try to shrug it off. I CANNOT THINK ABOUT IT.

And i realised one thing, im very true to my blog, and when i type, i dont simply pause and think about what i wanna type, everything that i think in my mind, suddenly, just seem to roll down from my unparted lips and fit themselves into a blogpost. Many people tell me , that im very truthful about my feelings in my blog, i feel so too, but sometimes, there are sad parts that i just dont wanna blog about, that does not make me a hypocritical person, its just, i dont want all of my blogposts to be filled with sorrow, someday when i read through all these, i dont want to know of myself as having a very sad past, i dont know, thats just what i think.

I feel very sad today, of course. Tremendously. And its not because of how difficult the Biology paper is. Although i completed it 5 minutes before the end of the paper, and i had time to check, i still think i made alot of careless mistakes. But its over, no use mulling over it.
And yeahs, back to why i am sad?

He sat beside me today.

See, im being very frank, seriously, i dont know why. It wasnt that bad a feeling i felt yesterday, because, yesterday wasnt that bad, as in, yesterday, he was one seat diagonal of me, and i, well, i dont know.. today, its like really worse. But i told myself, i have to concentrate on biology! So, i forced myself to think and think, and yeahs, i did the paper, finished everything. And when Mr neo said to check if we have our collarpins, i was quite shocked that i was actually still wearing the one with words written behind it. I didnt turn around to look in his direction, somehow, i didnt have the guts, i was so afraid that i'll meet his eyes if i ever do look. But i heard hm cough, wonder if he's okay?

I feel like a great big loser.
Piano 1 says im a very strong girl, you know, im beginning to think that im not, not at all. Im just someone who tries to be cheerful in school, make jokes and laugh, pushing away all those sad thoughts out of my mind, and, i wonder, just how long, will this continue to go on? I laugh, genuinely at jokes my friends make, but when the jokes stop, and im bad to the normal -not laughing-maniac-person, i become really emotional. And i just keep quiet.

SIGHS. Dont be stupid, eileen.
And i feel really bad, i realise, that im trying to distance myself from the guy who likes me. Seriously, i dont wanna give anyone false hopes. I dont wanna drag both of us down into any undeserving hurt, maybe, lets just be hi -bye friends when we see each other in school?
hmms.

I SHALL STOP THINKING, I MUST CONCENTRATE ON CHEMISTRY. I MUST JIAYOU, DO NOT THINK, DO NOT THINK...

It's actually the missing of something , or someone, that you know , will never comes back, that tears you apart.

And i still listen to tian tian de, that song seems to put a smile on my lips, the sweet song, emphasized again, by its name. Sighs. stop stop stop stop stop thinking.

He got a nice hair cut. .

Im going insane.

Saturday, June 21, 2008 6:54 AM
2 more days

Yeahs, 2 more days to the much mugged for MYE. Im feeling the fear now, the urgency, the rush and all. And i dont know why. Because i've been mugging this holiday, but yet, i still feel that i havent done enough, i dont know anything already. Im still left with the 8 pages of biology, and my literature. And thats it, im done. Tomorrow, i'll read up on literature, and well, i guess thats that. I finished my mathematics revision today, though no one can really finish practising for maths. Its just, i've read through the notes and did the tutorials. There's only the transformation and APGP tutorials that i did not do.

Thanks to Xue Yuan and Rasina, i finally completed my maths revision. Xy is a really nice and funny guy. Rasina and i had alot of fun while mugging with him (: And thanks to him, he gladly gave me his APGP notes to mug, and he didnt mind me taking it home! THANKS! (:
Im not confident for my maths, but well, at least i tried my best!

Biology? I REALLY DID STUDY FOR BIOLOGY, IN FACT, I MEMORISED ALMOST EVERY SINGLE THING, but ALAS! I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING I'VE STUDIED NOW!

Im like super depressed ! I memorised so much, and now its so difficult to even like, you know, if you even ask me something now, i bet i cant give you the sort of full marks - answer! Well, i shall try and recap as much as i can tomorrow!

Chemistry, is very bad, haha. No, actually, i also studied for chemistry! i studied for my chemistry like, the first week of the holidays! And now, its definitely becoming very difficult to remember, but well, i have some time before the day of the paper to mug a little bit more!

WOAH - this post is like, mostly on Mid Years. Seriously, i dont wanna screw up my mid years. I opted for this kinda life where i have to mug my ruptured head ( only rasina will understand this ) off, and you must think im regretting it huhs? In fact, i dont really know too. I have difficulty coping, but, well, we cant always take the easy way out in life, right?

My eyes are definitely closing as i type this, it'll be a huge miracle if there are no spelling mistakes ZZZ. Im so so tired. Rasina and i mugged till 745 then we left the library and then we went to fairprice to get my campbelle, and her cadbury hot chocolate, and we took the bus home.

In the bus, we were talking about how some people simply thing its a chore to laugh, and i was telling her that i'll always be this childish and lame eileen. im not a serious person, never. I laugh at the slightest thing, and sometimes, thinking back on funny things get me laughing too. Yeahs, i laugh alot. But that doesnt indicate how cheery i am. Nahs, it'll be hypocritical to say that i am always happy, because obviously, i have my sad times too. We just gotta leanr how to deal with it, learn from mistakes, and move on. Doesnt really seem that difficult, right?

Anyways, im so tired, i have to go to sleep. Decided to mug for biology tomorrow morning.
Just now, i saw daddy eating a red bean ice cream, and i could not help but smile. It really made me happy, because it had been a very long time ever since i saw daddy eating an ice cream, because Dad's got really sensitive teeth that cannot stand the feeling of the cold ice cream against his teeth. Hmms, he is so cute! Though i can see streaks of white neatly hidden by the black strands, however, i know he's getting old. thanks daddy! for always doing your best for the family!
And thanks for today's birdnest! (: You're the best!

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE!

Friday, June 20, 2008 4:48 AM
Today , i took a moment . . .

Yeahs, today, i took a moment to look at the sun just before it slowly made its way behind the hills. The red ball of warmth, it gives me a really fuzzy feeling, besides, everything else, it is so beautiful, im just simply so astounded by its beauty...

Moving on, i went to the library to mug again today, with Rasina, and i saw Zul and Cherie! woah woah woah. hahas, anyways, i dont know if they're together already or what, but well, yeahs, there's also Xue Yuan, and huiting came a little later after lunch, and we just studied together. I did maths - Graphing techniques 1, and a little of two? Im gonna continue and finish graphing techniques by today! Im really happy, thank you to those who taught me loadsa things today, it was helluva fun with you guys!

And Rasina and i created loads of jokes again, and we laughed and laughed so much!

I dug up some pictures in my sister's phone yesterday, i was so shocked she didnt delete them! Anyways, looking at those pictures made me laugh, and i could vividly recall every single thing that happened at the time i took those photos! Hmmm, memories , ahhhh.

And here, i'll like to say, i am not a serious person, as in, i dont behave seriously. Im the impulsive kind, agreeing to do things not by how they'll affect my image, in fact, sometimes, i think i do things without even thinking about how they'll make people look upon me as the kind of really mad girl. I do things because i think they seem like fun, and i dont regret to doing them after that. I feel, happy sometimes, that im not the sort who cares that much about my image and all, because doing that seems stressful, i've seen loadsa people, not do things they think , seem like fun, but they dont do it, because they look around them and see people whom they're afraid will think of them as Freaks.

Be a freak, being cool is over rated.

Anyways, i've got those pictures in the blog now. I'll be going off now, i wanna complete my graphing techniques by today, and then sleeeeeeep. im so deprived of sleep, i want sleep!
RAWRRRRR!

Okay, shall go before i really becomes bonkers and not stop typing. hokays. goodbye people,
a few more days to the exams, i think two more. god god god, im so scared!

And i think i forgot all those i studied for biology already!

Hmmms, my sister took this, trying out her frames in her phone at that time.
Miss the long brown hair...

I didnt mean to point that middle finger, sister made me do it! Lol, my brother was being mischievious so i pointed that for fun, if it'd ruined the image i have on you, well, alright then, i cant care much about how people think of me anyway. Though, you can call me whatever you want, because to you, im whatever you call me. yes, im that sweet (:

Remember to support me, and buy my album! (:

Thats just for fun, i mean, i was supposed to pose for my sister's camera, and she told me to act like a really hungry fat pig, so i did as i was told?

King kong's gonna take me to a faraway place, let that be paradise, i dont mind living with a monkey, if that place is paradise . . .

GOODBYE PEOPLE.
Good luck for exams, all dearests!
JIAYOUS, AND DONT SLACK!!! (:

Thursday, June 19, 2008 4:08 AM
An update - one step at a time

Hmmmmmms. I am feeling really sleepy and hungry right now. I slept really late last night. Erm, i was like so surprised yesterday, around 2 plus. Uhhh, i received this message from a very good friend, saying he likes me. I wont say who he is, however, i just want to thank him for being there for me when i had been sad, and we'll always be good friends! I wont want to get into another Relationship , nahs, too much of a hassle. I am really sorry.
So, i slept at around 3 plus last night, and woke up at around 6 plus, i dont know what made me wake up, but i went to pee, yeahs i think i needed to pee, and then i went to get myself a cup of carbonated drink. Pepsi. early in the morning at close to 7. What the hell had i been thinking? Probably, its just the thirst, or probably, its due to the story - a love novel i read last night, till close to 2. Something Karen introduced me to read - Second Hand soda. haha, that girl, too, drank a can of cola in the morning too.

I still dont see much link, i think im just going really bonkers! Well, im hungry, because i havent had my lunch. Usually, when i go to the library to mug, i dont do lunches, thats because i hate to drag my lazy bum out of the seat and walk out to grab a bite. haha, anyways, i went mugging today, at the library, i was supposed to meet Rasina at 10, punctually outside the library,
Uhm, yeahs, you could have guessed. I woke up late - at around 945, and that i was like, shit.

I rushed like mad, and appeared in the library at around 1030, and when i first reached, Rasina and Edmund were there! They reserved a seat for me , and when they saw me, they pointed to my earphones immediately. I was like huh? and then i pulled out a side of the earphones, and rasina mouthed the words to me " too loud ". lol, i felt quite bad, i didnt know my earphones are that loud.

We had a fun time in the library, it was just like during those o levels days, where you'd see a whole bunch of damaians at bedok library, mugging really seriously, sharing snacks and then asking each other problems. there were me, rasina, edmund and xue yuan. Kailin, Raymond and Ellene were mugging at BK because there wasnt any more seats, sadly.
I did maths today, finally, there's an end to Partial Fractions, Binomial Therorem, and Linear Inequalties! YAY!

okays, shall meet rasina and huiting and xue yuan at the library again tomorrow! Will mug hard!
JIAYOU EVERYONE!
Good day, and well, Rasina said something funny to me just now!
She said " remind me, later go buy bananas and online."
So, i was like, " huh buy bananas online?"
Then she started laughing really loudly, and said, " no, they are two separate issues!"
Okays, no link. nevermind, im off now, im really hungry...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008 8:02 AM
Im doing this post on the new laptop.

although i think laptops are kinda difficult to use sometimes, i think this laptop that daddy bought for us is really nice (: i love it man! YAY! Anyways, im left with one last chapter of biology - Respiration. I studied about 9 pages of it, now im at page 10, which means i have around 7 to 8 more pages to go. UGHHHHHHH - i dont know why, but recently, whenever i listen to my mp3, or handphone, and put them on the shuffle mode, they always automatically, play those piano pieces that were recorded, and sent to me.

Nahs, i didnt delete them. i think those piano pieces are kinda nice to listen to, quite soothing, though i've thrown most of the stuffs away, like the red droplet of blood, the pink blood band, and the 'rainbow' that was given to me, also known as the Fox's sweets. They are now, nothing but trash, and they belong to where they belong now - the trashbin.

I like the colour resolution and the fonts on this laptop, its very bright and all, and looking at it makes me happy. I didnt have anything that i especially like to put as the desktop picture, even though at my other computer, i put tatty's picture as the desktop background, (: So, for this laptop, my desktop background is a picture of joel and i during prom, and my account name is piano two. hahhas, i love it.

Im watching tv, and listening to songs as well as blogging. hehhehs, anyway i'll stop doing biology these few days, shall continue with my maths! MATHS! my maths is bad, but i wont give up. Tong pei says, there's always a pot of gold at the end of everyone's rainbow, so i'll work hard to get the pot of gold! You too tong pei! Dont give up! (:

Im done with my blogpost. Karen seems to be really sad nowadays, and she doesnt knows the reason why! Well, people get sad, now and then. I dont deny that im included in the 'people' aforementioned, but hey, we cant always be sad. life is like too short, really. Im living my every single day as happy as i can, and i think, my life seems to get better, i mean, well, im happier! (:

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE! I wanna watch 'get smart' , it seems funny. Anyways, KF panda is lame, but i think its quite funny, well, it got me laughing at least!

ABUGA AND BAGAGUG - sighs, those were the days mans.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008 10:36 PM
No need to complicate - our time is short

this is our fate ; im yours.

muahahahas. im so hooked! tong pei says this song is damn country - and yeahs it is, but i like it (: so i drew a new face and laughed.

Anyways, the above paragraph is of no link, hmms, i just finished homeostasis! YAY! finally, im such a lazy pig. Im left with respiration- look into your heart and you'll find love love love.

It's your godforsaken right to be love love love loved love.
Come and dance with me.

Hokays, i chatted with someone new yesterday, its not someone i just know, because i knew her since i came to Nanyang, its just, i got to talk to her properly only yesterday. And she's kinda funny, not really what someone used to describe her as.

Im now checking my tongue in the mirror, nahs, joking. hmm, im now taking a break. im so happy today, i woke up, and nopes, im not alone at home. today, sister is at home, because she's not going out for work or projects, and brother's home too. so funny, today around 9 plus, in the morning, he came home while i was still sleeping, and he was like " im home! your didi is home!"

then my sister scolded him and told him to shut up.

Haha, dad has already gone off to work, mommy's going off to work now too.

I shall try to read up on respiration as much as i can today. I wanna see Rasina tomorrow, so we can laugh and laugh and laugh together.
And bring me back to those days while i told her ," life is full of sorrow and pain, and you should follow the eightfold path.."

HAHA. Okays, im going to have lunch now, at the right time! and i dont think i'll be having it alone today (:

Oh yeahs, the laptop, we dont really know how to configure, so we're waiting for sister's boyfriend to come and help us with it. Mio makes everything very complicated.

I think i need some divine help to give me a miracle - i wanna pass my mid years!

Good day folks, see you!

I wont hesitate no more, im gonna do things i like, regardless if anyone likes it or not. this is me. i dont give a damn to whether you think im fit for the society. i dont wanna be another robot of this world where feelings are manifested by the orderly way in which people act. the world will be such a cold and lonely place if everyone thinks like you. (:

6:50 AM
Dang - wasted a day for mugging

Yeahs, i am so unhappy with myself man. Yesterday, i was the last one to sleep in the house. I slept at around 3, because i spent so much time playing, i thought i should mug a teeny weeny bit. so i mugged a little till i was so scared of something i decided to go to bed. yeah, you're right, its the leaky faucet. It just kept dripping, and then i got scared so i went to sleep. not exactly, initially i couldnt sleep, then i was waiting for tong pei's message, until i got too bored i fell asleep. and then i told myself, okay girl, you have to wake up at 9 tomorrow and study.

Nahs, i didnt make it. i woke up at around 2. and then i got so panicky, because i remember today i had to go to my aunt's house. It's my grandmother's parent's death anniversary , and we had to go down and pray. so, i went to return the books i borrowed together with karen, and i went down to lavender. It was so boring there, i mugged a little bit of biology, and i just couldnt concentrate. In the end, i ended up playing the PSP - Patapon, was so hooked. and then i got tired, and then i fell asleep while listening to Im yours. i think im so addicted to that song man.

" i wont hesitate no more no more.. it cannot wait..im sure..."

haha, anyway, i woke up, and called sister, went down with mom to Bugis there to meet sister and her boyfriend. then we went to collect our laptop. I didnt feel that much of any excitement because, well, i dont really need a laptop, and my sister's like damn happy. Oh yeah, mom treated me to ice cream, yummy yummy yummy ice cream.

Then we went back to my aunt's house, and Karyn's there too, so we had fun playing with her. Karyn's the small baby - toddler. She's damn cute, and she told me she's a pitiful soul because her butt hurts. Because she ate too much tidbits.

Speaking of which, i just remembered something. It's my other aunt. I think she;s really brave. she's gonna have a divorce with her husband. that guy is a jerk. I dont know what really happened, i just know, she must be hurt. Dang. anyway, she should stay strong! although my relationship with her is not that strong, but afterall, she's family, i'll be there for her, just like i'll be there for any of my family members, if she needs anyone. Stay strong! (:

After hearing about her divorce, i feel that my stupid hooha is nothing compared to hers. if she can stay as strong, of course, i can too. definitely.

Im a big girl. and i've grown up. nopes, not any taller. but definitely, i've seen a bit more of the evil side of life - the rotten parts. and my thinking isnt that naive anymore. Broadening of minds? Dunnnno.

Miss loads of people. the msters, bagagug aka joel, rasina, berlisa,joseph, loads of secondary school mates. hope to see them sooon!

Will be meeting rasina in the library on thursday, friday and saturday. i'll be teaching her literature, and she'll be teaching me maths! thanks girl!

Nights, people. Life seems to be moving on a fast paced track, i feel sooo teleported into the future, grrr.

Monday, June 16, 2008 9:16 AM
Im yours - jason mraz

LALALALALALALALA~

Crazy over this song now. lol, i kept playing it non stop, i think sister will get frustrated soon! anyways, it is 0015 now, and mom told me not to sleep late! uhh, i slept so much today, i dont know if i can sleep, Well, if i cant then i shall.. ughh, yeahs try to mug. i know of plenty of night owls who accompany me while i mug at night. thanks, tong pei. and piano one! (:

And hey, sure, memories are great! But nahs, we dont live on memories, we dont live in the past. we move on, and occasionally, we'll think back of those memories and have nostalgic pangs, but nopes, not every single moment. We just, you know, we each have our lives to lead too.

I told my sister:

"And some twenty thirty years down the road, i'll read this blog together with my husband, and then i'll say , thank goodness for all the wrong guys i've met, so that i was able to catch you! "

That will be so sweeet (:

I have been sneezing non stop recently, hehhehs, my mom says, sneezing loads actually means that someone's thinking of you! So, lets not think of that as a cold, lets look on the positive side, someone's thinking of me! ^_____^

And dang. i havent got much to blog about already, but short posts are kinda twitty, so how about the lyrics to Im yours by Jason Mraz?

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
And now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family.
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
I like one big family (2nd time: I like happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours.

It's a really really really cute song, and the beat's good. and hey, i've got the song! (:
If you want it, IM me on MSN! i'll send it to you !

And so good night people, i wont be sleeping yet, haha.

And ben in jam aka benjamin is so nice. Pugi seniors really rock, they care so much for me! Thanks guys * winks * im not lynn!

thank you, its pretty

me, and joel! miss you bagagug! haha.

2:40 AM
Huddle and Snuggle !

Heya! Uncle Alvin called just now and asked me if Incredible hulk's nice. It's been so long since i last hard from him or see him! and he says he's going to take Gina ( his daughter) to the cinemas and watch it too. I think it's nice though, the movie, its better than in Part 1, the hulk, because while watching Part 1, i didnt really have any interest, they kepy showing the Gamma parts, and it got kinda boring. This one's good, haha. To each his own, whats nice for me may not be nice to you? Hmmms.

Anyway, Brother went to camp today! I woke up at the time he got into his NCC suit, he looks really cute in his suit man. He looks like a young soldier. I said bye to him, and told him to take care then staggered back to bed, catching a final glimpse of him in his green suit, and huge black boots. And then i went back to sleep, the sleep was so nice! I couldnt wake up, i slept till 1, going 2. and i didnt have my lunch , mom didnt cook! so, the whole of today, i was snuggled up under my cosy duvet, trying to memorise biology! Im left with the two parts of biology that i so dislike - respiration, and the homeostatic - the nervous impulses. Grrr, im still at the action potential , so slow.. But i kinda slacked again today! Waking up so late, i still couldnt get off my bed, stretching, rolling, playing with stuffed animals, and even accidentally falling asleep!

Ugh, Eileen! dont be so lazy! and now i can hear my grandmother watching the fishball drama, sometimes i watch it with her, but sometimes, she rather watch it with tatty. lol, because if i do watch it with her, i'll be carrying my biology notes, and memorising while watching, disturbing her!

Grandmother loves tatty. i remember, a couple of days ago, i was bringing tatty around by its hand, and my grandmother's like, " later the bear cry." then i was like, huh? I jokingly told her that tatty's hungry, and said it wanna eat the bread im eating. then my grandmother told me ," no, the bear likes honey , if you give it honey, it'll eat it!"

LOL, i love it man, when i joke and crap with my grandmother, and she jokes back!

and i think, im not that lazy afterall, i mean, i climbed out of bed to blog! hahas. I am hungry, but i dont wanna eat the rice i cook. It's gonna taste really nasty, i dont know why but i think it wont be nice, hehhehs, eileen, you really gotta learn how to cook!

and yesterday i slept late, was joking via SMS-es with piano 1. She told me she's practicing Taiji! And she told me some other stuffs, and she said she'll teach me cycling after exams! YAY! you rock piano!

And right now, i shall climb back to bed, and try to read up on more biology? or i think i can just go and sleep for a teeny weeny while, wont hurt if im able to wake up, right?

AND!!! Rasina! i didnt watch the chocolate factory yesterday, but im okay with him, i really love the book by roald dahl. While reading the book, i imagined many things, like how the chocolate river's like, and how Violet balloon-ed into a huge blueberry. But the movie, really, is not that good.

especially the Oompa loompa or something - eew, in the movie - they're such a turn off. however, when reading, i imagined them to b e really cute elves like people. Ugh. So yeahs, but i dont deny that Johnny Depp is really nice *winks*

Okays, i shall go now, brother will be back soon! sort of miss having him around, snatching the computer with me, and watching one piece, naruto, and playing frozen throne and rakion blahs blahs.

Goodbye people!

P.S. I feel like, i cant wait for school to start, for the exams to be over, and finally, be able to hang out with the msters, and my friends too! Bleah!

Sister and i! i look as kiddish as ever, bahs.

I wanna have brown hair again!

Listening to Im yours by Jason mraz - its a reallllly cute song man!
hahas, soothingggggg. and piano,

YOU AND MSTERS ROCK. LETS GRAB AN OAR AND TASTE THE WAVES!

Sunday, June 15, 2008 9:03 AM
DDDDDDADDDDDY!

i love you man you funny man! Daddy's day is over already, we just had a very happy meal together. thanks man for making today a great day. First day of the rest days of our lives , and i dont miss you at all. Whoa. anyways, im here to blog, not alot to blog about. there's just this one thing on my mind. I dont know why, i kept thinking of hueiminn. And i feel, a little scared. i dont want anymore girls to, like, sort of, be cheated by him in a sense.

I wish her, happiness and bliss. Because, right now, at this very moment, im surrounded by love from my friends and family! So, i am feeling saturated, happy, so hueiminn! you will, and you should! I feel this really huge rock leaving my chest, a burden has just been released. It's not because i hate yin cheong or what so i write this down. its really just, its nice to see happy couples around, and im sure if he stays with her for as long as they can, they can be just as happy and blissful too. Epiphany - cherish everything you have right now! Time and tide waits for no man... okays, shall not talk so much nonsense.

Just now, i celebrated daddy's day with my family. We went to suntec to meet sister, and daddy bought for my sister and i, a fugitsu laptop! YAY! I dont really need a laptop, but well, since daddy said its shared between us, i just, thought i'll be able to use it too. anyways, dont worry sister, i dont need a laptop, not at all, so i wont snatch it from you when you need to use it because i know you got loadsa projects!

Then we went and ate seafood! While in the car, we passed by geylang, and see those girls with old uncles - their hammy hands groping the girls' butt, and i wonder, are they actually of age? I felt kinda sad seeing them like this, why cant they love themselves too? So, i listened to my mp3 in the car, and we passed by burlington square! The place where i used to work for burger king! and i remember that one rainy night when i had to work till 11, and joseph came to fetch me! It was raining like damn heavily, and he didnt bring an umbrella, he just brought a book with him. And when i first came out and met him, his first words were , omg, can you help me keep this book?" haha, then i remember inviting him inside for a hot drink, and some paper towels. Seems like it happened yesterday! haha, and yeahs, life was very fun when i was young and could have somuch time to play. Now its all mugging, but it doesnt mean life cant be great too! (:

I know i have got great friends, thank you to piano 1, really, and joseph, and karen, and wei ling, and rasina, and all those who sort of protected me in my tagboard. thank you for caring for me. I appreciate everything.

And right now, life still goes on, so just live it, and live it to the fullest! everlasting bliss and happiness to all couples on earth! remember, stay faithful, and nothing goes wrong! =)
GOODNIGHT.
P.S. Brother will be going to camp tomorrow, NCC, first day in pulau ubin too, im kinda worried for him. and i will miss him, especially when he's the one who stays at home with me in afternoons when sister, mommy, and daddy are not at home. But whatever it is, have fun, brother! and train hard! You will have abs soon! love ya!

Saturday, June 14, 2008 8:15 PM
Hello dickhead.

ooops, lets change that above title to asshole. haha, anyways, i told you yesterday that, nopes, this morning at 4 plus that i came to know of something, which made me feel easier, to give up everything. actually, there really isnt anything much in the first place, i couldnt believe i fell for those stupid lovey dovey words. when i came to know of it, my first reaction, it wasnt sadness. When i knew about it, i didnt even feel shocked, as though i kinda expected it.

lol, although my first reaction was stupidity, and how dumb i actually was. or had been. But a fool for a moment is better than a fool forever(: thank you to all those who cares about me, i should not, and i cannot name you, except, karen! thank you for supporting my decision, and keeping me sane, as well as listening to me! Singles unite! We shall live a high life together. many loves to the power of infinity too.

And thank you master piano mster! aka yuanxin, for saying you'll be there for me always. And you asked me why he's like that? lol, i dont even know. Yeahs, like you say, black heart guy ( literal translation from chinese? ) hahas. i have got really caring friends.

I slept at 7 plus last night ( or morning), was talking on the phone. thanks to that someone who kept me company, and i will remember the promise i made. actually, thanks to you, i really got very composed, and very much, settled. and omg! i woke up at 10 plus! what the hell is wrong with me? but i know why i couldnt sleep. i had to blog, and do something important which i should have done a long time ago. Gotta thank sister too, for giving me all the support!

This is my blog, so everything i blog here is what i wanna blog about, nothing hidden.
I WANT A BREAK UP. BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

anyways, phew, yeahs man, got that out. i sent you a message, and it goes like this,
" lets break up. you're with hueiminn now anyways, so have fun. thank you for all the lies."
And i actually feel this sense of, hey eileen's back kinda feeling.

I feel good.

And you know, whenever in msn conversations, i'll not talk about joseph, and you're the one who constantly brings him up? Saying how much i hugged tatty, and how much i talked about him. the fact is, yes, i do hug tatty alot, but i have never even brought up anything of joseph.

And its not that he's not good enough. At least, he doesnt lies, he may not " be a graduate of YFC" , he may not play piano, but he's got his own talents too. and thats for the others to judge too. Im not taking sides, you mention about yueli alot. Dont even get me started, like how beautiful she is and stuffs. what a pity she has got Body Odour then. ha ha.

Oops, eileen, what comes around goes around, dont do onto others what you dont want them to do on you. and similarly, this applies to you too. dont lie or deceive people, one day, it definitely will happen to you. Karma, believe in it.

Its just sad, how you dont mention, or give due attention to hueiminn instead of that skank, nopes eileen, no obscenities! yups, blogging this, i actually feel kinda tired. should i go back to sleep? anyways, you told me over msn, that many guys revolve around me, but your pettiness made you such a narrow guy, they are my friends, and dont be jealous i've got such great friends, you'd have too, at least, i believe everyone will have, if they dont cheat or lie that much. and you said , 12 months = 12 guys, a guy for a month. you know, i put that as my msn personal message, that im not a whore? well, and you said i should have put my number right there too so that people can start calling me , for services? well, why did i remember this? because i know im not that low class. like your ex ex. I was insulted, and let me tell you this again, i dont live my life a courtesan, in nicer words. whores are meant to be used to describe the likes of her. i dont need to, and i dont have to. and i wont. i love myself enough to cherish me.

And oh yeahs, im not distracted from my studies (: i promise daddy and mommy that i'll work hard, so yeahs, i shall. and even if this mid year, i dont do well, i know i tried my best. Im not gonna retain in JC, i'll pass, and then i'll go to a U, and from there, life continues.

Nono, from here, life continues. (:

Because if you think im the eileen you know, then you know im not someone who gives up because of a setbacks. And the reason why i choose to take this path, is because i simply, cannot CANNOT, be with someone who lies. who cheats. god, that is totally absurd, incredulous even. I'll never be able to constantly wonder if what you're saying is true or false, it'll make life very difficult!

And talk about being hypocritical, the one who puts " why are you so full of lies?" in his msn personal msg, i guess he can leave that line for himself. and i doubt he can even find an answer.

I know alot of people care for me, promises to make me better with stars and all and planes, muahaha, i'll be alright people. This time, it is not a facade, everything seems to feel so easy, i am okay. Eileen loo yi zhen is back !

Studies progress?

Maths - practiced up till graphing techniques - kinda scared cuz maths is one of my weakest subject, but i'll be meeting up with Rasina and she'll teach me! thanks girl! and no, i wont eat chocolates, throat's bad !

Chemistry- i finished revising for chemistry in the first week of june holidays, but i'll recap everything on the day before the exam, hopefully, i dont like screw up, cuz chemistry is something i hate too! haha.

Biology- Hmm, i love biology, but its like so much to memorise man! im left with homeostatic mechanism part 2, and respiration! i can do it! (:

Literature- i dont know, seriously, to me, literature depends on luck. if i can understand the poems, then i'll be able to write! i havent studied, will study lit together with rasina in the library (:

Chinese - god, dont get me started on chinese. i havent started, but thats alright. i think a day before the exams leave me enough time to mug!

Anything else? i guess that shall be about everything. i shall go and mug now.
Like what ... told me - turn negative energy into positive energy! and dont be distracted! bleahs!

Again, good morning people, i just spent 40 minutes of my life, doing the stuff i should have done, a long long time ago. hahas.

Continued : you replied.
you said you werent back with her, ha, Right, with a capital R. and i didnt assume. And your reason for your behavior this days was? i didnt value and treasure you much. since thats so, then whats the problem? end it then. And your second reply: yeah, you two agreed to be together. lol, it really seems contradictory. stop spinning another web of lies. Im not a kid anymore. so grow up boy, to think you're even a year older and you lack such immaturity.

Lol, joseph, at a time like this, i cant believe i actually laughed when i saw what you typed in Msn. good day folks.

P.S. thank you weiying, who dedicated that paragraph to me. Thank you. I appreciate it..