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Fat Hope && Skinny Love
the blogger


EILEEN LOO YI ZHEN;

others'
  • joel
  • jake
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  • yi chen
  • eugene
  • mark
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  • clique
  • anna
  • tongpei
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  • jodi
  • daniel
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  • yihao
  • jingchun

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    thanks!
    Designer: !♥feelthatlov-e.
    Resources: x x x


    Saturday, May 31, 2008 10:01 PM
    Im bored & tired , & sick.

    Which is why i like to while my time away on the computer.
    Stupid cold, periods, blocked nose, and scratchy sorethroats.
    Seriously, i think i'll die without the internet.
    It's really something that keeps me occupied when i aint have nothing to do.
    Currently, having some thoughts in my mind, hmms, probably blog them down now.
    Today , my dad's going to his friend's housewarming party, i dont feel like going, so i'll be staying at home with brother.

    Oh, before i forgot, something popped into my mind.
    Yesterday, i watched some episodes of stairway to heaven with my sister.
    It's the korean drama, and seriously, i've never like those korean dramas, but i havent got anything to do! lol, so i watched it with her - im a kind sister since i accompanied her after her boyfriend left.

    So, we went to bed, and i was tossing and turning around, when i suddenly said,

    me: hey sister, i love you.
    sister: uh okays, i love you too!

    Pause - after 5 seconds,

    sister: you're random emo shit.

    okays fine. haha, i know my sister loves me. ^ ^

    Im left with enthalpy, gaseous and solids for chemistry. Jiayou eileen!
    But i've got quite some stuffs i dont quite understand, but its okays, i know someone will teach me!

    current thoughts:
    1) I feel like eating paper , especially flyers ; hmmms.
    2) Now very crazy over simple plan songs - i dont know why.
    3) cooking up msters tee designs and another tee's design in my mind - to no avail.
    4) loves belting out , VERY loudly, to jordin sparks' tattoo.
    5) been replaying loadsa piano pieces in my phone.
    6) Hydrogen bonding all over my mind, and some polar and non polar shit, zzz
    7) East coast park.
    8) Guns, smurfs, tien yi ( heaven's will) , macs, pianos, haha, msters - 9k bridge

    There're still alot more! and i have to go out for lunch soon! =O
    Mom's pestering me to go out shopping with her today, lol, brother's not keen to go out, he wants to hog the computer, which is not likely since mom's at home, haha, and me? i just thought today i should like, you know, study, since i didnt do much mugging yesterday, and im not torn between going and not going, since mom'll be pretty bored at home -__-

    hmmm, i dont know, well, lets make a decision based on last minute impulses, thats just, what eileen will normally do, hmmms (:



    4:30 AM
    Just for you.

    A picture speaks a thousand words;




    Specially for, you. Uhh, decode it.

    VG86IElQIFlJTiBDSEVPTkcuCgpIZXksIHRob3VnaHQgb2YgdHlwaW5nIHlvdSBhbiBlbWFpbCwg
    YnV0IHdlbGwsIGkgZ3Vlc3MsIGknbGwganVzdCBwdXQgaXQgb24gbXkgYmxvZywgYW5kIHllYWhz
    LCBhbmQgaSdsbCBlbmNvZGUgaXQsIGFuZCBsZXQgeW91IGRlY29kZSBpdCB5b3Vyc2VsZi4gVGhp
    cyB3ZWVrLCBoYXZlbnQgc2VlbiB5b3UgbXVjaCBldmVyIHNpbmNlIHRoZSAyOHRoLiBIbW0sIHdl
    J3ZlIGJlZW4gdG9nZXRoZXIgZm9yIGEgbW9udGggYWxyZWFkeSBodWhzISBIb3cgdGltZSBmbGll
    cywgaSBzdGlsbCByZW1lbWJlciB0aG9zZSBidXMgcmlkZXMsIHRob3NlIHdoaWNoIHlvdSdsbCBs
    ZW5kIG1lIHRoZSBzaG91bGRlciwgYW5kIGEgcmVhbGx5IHNwZWNpYWwgb25lLCB3aGVyZWJ5IHdl
    IGxpc3RlbmVkIHRvIG11c2ljLCBhbmQgdHJhdmVsbGVkIGZyb20gR3VpbGluIG1vdW50YWluIHRo
    ZXJlIHRvIEJ0IG1lcmFoLCBhbmQgd2Ugd3JvdGUgY2hpbmVzZSB3b3JkcyBvbiBmb29sc2NhcCBw
    YXBlcnMsIGFuZCBhbHNvIHdyb3RlIHRvIGVhY2ggb3RoZXIgaW5zdGVhZCBvZiB0YWxraW5nLiBB
    bmQgdGhvc2UgdGltZXMgd2hlbiBpIHRyaWVkIHRvIGVhdCB0aGUgZmx5ZXJzIHRoZSBwZW9wbGUg
    ZGlzdHJpYnV0ZWQsIGFuZCB5b3Ugd2VyZSBldmVuIG1hZCBlbm91Z2ggdG8gd2FudCB0byBlYXQg
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    bmcgYXBhcnQ/IElmIHlvdSwgc29tZWhvdywgZG8gbm90IGZlZWwgYW55dGhpbmcgZm9yIG1lIGFs
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    b2xsZXliYWxsLCBhbmQgeW91IGNhbnQgY2hldyBwcm9wZXJseS4gSSBzYXkgaSdsbCBiZSB0aGVy
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    a25vdyBvZiBhbnl0aGluZyBpIGNhbiBkbyB0byBtYWtlIHlvdSBmZWVsIGJldHRlci4gSSBmZWVs
    IHNvIGxvdXN5LCBhbmQgcmVhbGx5IHVzZWxlc3MsIGRvbnQgeW91IHRoaW5rIHNvPyBBbmQgdGhh
    dHMgd2h5LCBpbSB0aGUgd29yc3QgZ2lybGZyaWVuZCBvbmUgY2FuIGV2ZXIgd2FudCB0byBoYXZl
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    bSB1cHNldCwgYW5kIG5vdyB0aGF0IHlvdSdyZSBub3QgZmVlbGluZyBnb29kLCBpIGRvbnQga25v
    dyB3aGF0IGkgY2FuIGRvLCBpIHRyaWVkIG15IGJlc3QgdG8gbWFrZSB5b3UgaGFwcGllciwgYnV0
    IGl0IGRvZXNudCBzZWVtIHRvIGJlIHdvcmtpbmcuIGhvbmVzdGx5LCBpIGtlZXAgdGhpbmtpbmcg
    b2Ygd2hhdCBod2VpbW5uIHdvdWxkIGRvIGluIG15IHBsYWNlIGlmIHNoZSB3ZXJlIG1lLiBJbSBz
    b3JyeSwgaSBob3BlIHRoaXMgb25lIG1vbnRoIHdhcyBlbmpveWFibGUgd2l0aCBtZSwgYW5kIG5v
    dyB0aGF0IHdlJ3ZlIG1vdmVkIG9uIHRodXMgZmFyLCBhcmUgeW91IHN0aWxsIHdpbGxpbmcgdG8g
    aG9sZCBteSBoYW5kPwoKU29ycnkgZm9yIGFueSB0cm91YmxlcyBhbmQgaW5jb252ZW5pZW5jZXMg
    aSBoYXZlIGNhdXNlZCB0byB5b3UuIGRvbnQgZXZlbiBrbm93IGlmIGl0cyBhcHByb3ByaWF0ZSB0
    byBzYXkgdGhpcywgYnV0Li4gaSBsb3ZlIHlvdS4geWVhaCwgaSBkby4gaGF2ZSBhIG5pY2UgZGF5
    LCBhbmQgaG9wZSB5b3UnbGwgZmVlbCBiZXR0ZXIgc29vbiwKCkxvdHMgb2YgbG92ZSwKCkVJTEVF
    Tg==


    ******


    the sky's so pretty this evening. I watched it alone.





    goodbye, i gave up on mugging today, perhaps, tomorrow.



    Friday, May 30, 2008 9:26 PM
    I've failed badly , as a tuition teacher.

    Yeahs, i really have. I mean, the girl couldnt pass her subjects!
    Whats a tuition teacher for?
    A tuition teacher is hired only when the parents want their children to improve on their grades, and maybe, even excel in their studies.
    I admit, im really happy about the fact that Tasauffi ( the boy) did really well.
    Everytime i go for tuition with the kids, he'll always tell me the good grades he got, and it really made me really really really happy.

    Im really happy for him, and i hope that, even if i really do quit as a tuition teacher, he will hop a level up to Express Maths. Seriously, if he really has got any problems, i can still help him.

    Tutoring, really, its not all about money.

    It's the satisfaction a tuition teacher gets when the kids she's tutoring score well. Thats the best reward for her efforts,

    Knowing that she's able to make a difference, an improvement in their results.

    I couldnt do it, seriously, i really think i shouldnt impose on them any longer.
    Since i cant help Azimah ( the girl ) in passing, i really should just go.

    I spent the whole night thinking about it, the truth is, i really am very disappointed in myself and really very sad about it. I thought i was able to do it, you know, teach and they'll understand. there're never these kinda problems with my cousins whenever i teach them, and i thought this step in tutoring will be my stepping stone towards being a full fledged teacher.

    Now, i really dont know.

    So yeahs, i quit.

    Sorry, you all can still come and look me up if you all need help, and thats if, you all feel that im worth your time anyway.

    Good day, im not feeling so well, blocked nose, and i've been sneezing like a machine gun.
    Sighs.

    Kids, do your best in everything, and dont give up. i'll be there, if you need me.
    I shall continue blogging later.


    okays, im back here again, oh my god, i feel so tired, dont feel like studying today, EILEEN DONT SLACK!!
    okay okay, i got that, will study later.
    Planning to finish mugging for chemistry, latest by monday, hopefully i can do it.
    Terrypuppy called just now, well, we can meet in school before the pugi chalet so that he can teach me chemistry.
    Funnily, he called me 5 minutes just after he put down the phone, and asked me why i didnt ask Yc.
    Well, i dont know, truthfully, i just dont think i can ask him about studies, because, actually, i tried asking him once.
    I remember we met in the classroom early in the morning, and i was doing my last minute enthalpy tutorial when i really didnt know how to do all of them. then i asked him, and he was like, " like this one ma, its done like this. this one put over here can already."

    I was like, oh okay, but in my heart, it was like, uh, what the hell just happened? Why is it like this?

    No offense, seriously. But thanks for offering me help, i appreciate it (:

    My tummy hurts, the usual cramps. Backaches also, its times like this when i just feel like curling into a heap on the bed and listen to music and while the entire time away.

    BUT NO SLACKING EILEEN!!!

    TIRED, seriously beat.
    Actually, i wonder now, even, how do people actually cope with all these shit?
    Dont they realise that life doesnt revolve around studying and studying?

    Well, maybe their lives are all about mugging.
    Sad man, my head hurts, my tummy hurts, my eyes feel like shutting, and my nose's blocked.

    Thanks man. I feel fab.

    i think i should go off, get myself some apple juice and probably that'll help.
    Reminder, Pugi chalet 3rd to 5th, dont know if i even wanna go now.
    Holidays is just too short to play, studying is important.
    Right , ha ha ha. so not funny.

    Nevermind, off i go now.
    Probably be back later to blog about the rest of the day.

    Yerps, im not some loner who sticks to blogging the entire day, its just, blogging is my life.
    Being able to write down how you feel actually gives me some comfort.
    Good day peeps.



    7:20 AM
    It's a day of heavy clouds and shivery colds

    Yeahs, like the title says, Seriously.
    I cant use the computer for long because my sister has got a project to complete,
    and for some reason, i cant seem to go to the PW group's bloggie! how how how?

    Dont know if anna's posted anything there that i must do, but really, i cant even go to that website!

    Well, today was a really boring and tiring day.
    I am sick, ill.
    I've got the bug, and the worse thing?
    I got the time of the month today! Oh my god!

    I was in the library when it happened, fortunately, i brought those cotton lifesavers.

    Anyways, was kinda touched and happy to see my secondary school bestie today!
    She came specially to the library to visit me! I was feeling so bored whilst doing studying chemistry and wow! She didnt change, haha, still the same old wei ling.

    Rasina came too, she wanted me to teach her chemical bonding, and i needed someone to teach me Redox. Terrypuppy said he can teach me, no offence to uhh you. Nervemind, i shant continue on that.
    So yeah, rasina bought me a bun, because i didnt leave the library ever since i found a seat at 11, and i started mugging. I was starving because i didnt have my lunch and all, but its okay, dont really have the appetite anyway.

    Well, i mugged for Chemistry just now, uhm i read up on atoms, stoichiometry, Volumetric analysis, Atomic structure, Entropy, and actually, i read redox as well, but i couldnt get that part about half equations and all, so i gave up. Felt kinda good i mugged so much despite being unwell.

    LOL RV is SERIOUSLY FUNNY> the movie i mean.
    TERRIFICALLY FUNNY.HILARIOUS!!!

    okays, that aside.

    I think im gonna give up tutoring.
    The boy i tutored, he's in Normal Academic Stream, but now, he's able to go for Express Mathematics, isn't that great?

    But i dont think i'll continue teaching, and he's kinda sad, because i've been tutoring them for quite some time already. omfg, RV is seriously making me laugh, really really laugh out loud. yeahs, so tutoring, and well, he said he wont go for express maths if i stop tutoring, but well, i really dont know..

    That girl im tutoring, she's still the same as before, flunking all her grades, except, she pass her English this time. dont know if i should even feel good about this..

    SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHS.

    You know the skies love you when they turn grey because you're down.

    Goodnight people.

    I feel so ignored now, Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
    Nevermind, must be really something i did?
    I dont know, what did i do?

    And just think about it, life is really never easy, i wish i can escape somewhere now, mugging really is boring.
    MONOTONOUS.

    My life wasn't planned for me to mug my life away,
    But it's known isn't it?
    Life doesnt go according to plans.

    Neither do love.



    Thursday, May 29, 2008 4:25 AM
    MUGGING

    Sudden epiphany to mug,
    think its time to really get down to serious mugging,

    henceforth, i'll be going to Bedok Library near the interchange tomorrow to mug,
    Well, feel free to join me, though im a really serious person when i study (:

    Which is good, i guess.
    I'll be there as soon as the library opens at 10, and i'll be doing chemistry,
    No plans on how much i wanna finish, as much as possible i guess.

    Super happy cuz rasina says she'll join me after he lessons at 4 plus tomorrow!
    YAY!

    Which means from 10 to 4, i'll be in bedok library mugging
    and mugging
    and mugging.


    Chemistry - here i come!


    JIAYOU EILEEN!
    you can do it! dont let all those sad things bring you down!

    counting down: excluding today, it'll be 4 more days to the return of gavin and my gramps!

    Hope they're having fun! ^ ^

    See you all soon! good day!



    3:20 AM
    Appearance VS Reality.

    I dont show what i feel.
    I dont show what i do.
    I dont go around telling people about the great things i have,
    the great things im made of,
    the great things i've done.

    Seriously, who am i to think of what i've been doing as great, altruistic even?
    And who are you to judge me on whether the things i've done, whether they're altruistic or not?

    Ultimately, we're born not to judge, nor are we born to be judged.
    People are as they are, and you can judge all you want if you can define the meaning of 'you',
    And i dont mean any fking crap.


    Okay, fine.
    I AM SUPER MOODY.
    Its times like this, like when im feeling so helpless and locked out of the house because i forgot my keys that i actually wish for someone to be there for me. And i really mean it.
    Was really really, deep down, very depressed that you didnt even bother to msg me,

    I know you're sick.
    Your braces are giving you the problems,
    Blood in ears, yeahs, those sorts.
    But, is a reply really gonna kill you, or what?
    I even tried calling, but i gave up.
    Whats the point? forget it man.

    Whats a special you if the person cant be there for you, and i dont confine that to physically, to share your weals, your woes? Seriously, now tell me whats love between a guy and a girl? I just dont get it. Maybe im just plain stupid. Whatever.

    Well, Thanks piano! you accompanied me throughout the entire time while i was waiting for my brother to come home, and open the door for me, thanks, seriously, i really appreciate you replying to my messages! I shall not let Msters down! I'll design a nice tee for us, multi colours! And yeahs, you , visha and i seriously have got some kinda telepathy! We cut our hair at the same time! and Yups, i wanna let my hair curl again. reckon it'll save a hell load of time, and at the same time, i'll feel light-headed, literally.

    And thanks brother eugene! You saved me by rushing back home from the library with your friends and opening the door for me! that was really noble! thanks thanks! Appreciated.

    Sure, i may be uber moody, well, lets call it sad.
    But its small little things that people do which reminds me that im not alone in this world.
    the world, is afterall, not that cold a place.
    Small little things like :

    when i go to the fridge to get a cup of chin chow and saw mom's note on the fridge, saying " Welcome home with sweet memories, love, mum! "
    when i saw Piano's funny messages and encouragement telling me that tomorrow will be a better day.
    When i see tatty face down on my bed because i've woken up so hurriedly this morning that i displaced it off its usual resting place above my pillow.

    All these small little things make me smile.

    Im grateful, for all the small things(:

    Oh yeahs, Msters outing shifted! hahas, most of us couldnt make it this month so we're going next month! YAY! I really like this bunch of friends.

    And, oh, really wanna talk about something here.

    Anna, Marven, yemin and i were waiting at the mac near NYJC for Z-win to come, because we needed a laptop to do our PW. We sort of, had a bonding session, talking and eating, and it was a really, first first time that our PW group met up, and it was also the first first time that we talked so heartily! It wasnt the laugh-alot-talk like i usually had with the Msters, it was those kinda first time talking talks, and i was quite surprised by something Burmese aka Yemin said. He told us that his mom passed away when he was in primary 6. and at that time, he wasnt in Burma with her, he was in singapore, taking his PSLE.His mom was dying,and his family members didnt even tell him about it since they didnt wanna distract him from his examinations, ( kinda like something from the chinese textbook) And his mom suffered from Stomach cancer, he knew her condition was kinda critical, and he rushed home upon the end of PSLE. But when he reached home, it was too late. she had already passed away. Initially, he couldnt register that into his mind, and he didnt cry. However, he told us that upon seeing the video and the photos of the funeral, he bawled. But he didnt really stay that emotional, and i was thinking, wow, thats heartless!
    But he told me that, he's been away from his mom most of the time, away from his entire country, as he's in singapore with his sister and the rest of the family's in Burma. And he said that he's not that emotionally dependent on his mom, not like me, because i've been with my family all my life.

    I can understand that, and i really dont blame him.
    but his story, thats really a sad one, i felt myself pitying him, i dont know why.
    rest in peace, yemin's mom.

    Which is why, i say, many things in life, the small things, they really open my eyes to things i've really been oblivious to, and make me appreciate what i have.

    Thank you family.
    Thank you friends.
    thank you everyone.

    You make the world a better place, for me.

    Eileen should start to appreciate more, and not take any more things for granted.

    Seriously, i think, im really growing up,.

    Probably, matured ;



    Wednesday, May 28, 2008 4:27 AM
    Happy OMA

    HAPPY ONE MONTH (:
    280508

    you add col
    ours to my life.
    *********

    So, yeahs, i woke up kinda late today, around 11 plus, was super tired, and i was having a cold, not that i aint now, well, i still have a cold. Anyways, i rushed to city hall to meet him and we went walking around the CBD area. It was a very cold day, and it was raining so heavily i was almost killed by the puppies and kittens that fell from the heavens. and hey! you didnt give me the green beans! ): i wasn't joking when we talked about it last time, i was dead serious, since there isnt gonna be sunflowers, lol, i figured green beans would do since you suggested them! ): and you didnt give them to me today!!! The arts in the Esplanade, they are all so nice. I wanna watch this sort of musical, some sort of cabaret thingy, its called the devil and the something sea, i think its deep blue sea or something. But the ticket fee is like, 25 bucks per student, kinda expensive! And i doubt i'll get to sleep peacefully if i really do watch it since its such a hmmms, its a creepy show about two sisters and the rise of the gingerbreadmen against the bakers, okay well, forget it. Pretend i never mention it since i've sort of forgotten the plot of the play. but it should be quite interesting considering the fact that eileen never, well, almost never loves plays.

    Well, I just heard from ellene that the Pugi chalet will be from the 3rd to 5th, lol, sorry about the previous mistake, my bad. I think i'll go, but im kinda afraid that my period will fall on any of those days since i think it should be coming. I dont know why im talking about my periods here, i think i must be really disorientated, considering the fact that im still suffering from a bad cold. Okay, really no link here, eileen. but uh huh, i dont count the dates of the start and beginning of my periods, so i cant tell when they'll come. Not very good i know since i've got to be prepared for it as it'll be terrible if i suddenly have it, ugh, crossing my fingers, hope that'l never happen to me. And Nanyang's Skirt is like peach in colour, it'll be really terrible, horrendous, if i really stain it.


    Okay, end of those stupid period thing,i dont even know why im even blogging about such a thing. Hmmms, Tomorrow!!!! and gavin, and my grandparents will be home from bangkok! So looking forward!

    I am kinda happy nowadays. I used to not like nanyang because im always so far from my closest friends, but now, i reckon im not that, i mean, i guess i dont hate it anymore. I cant hate the school if i have good friends around me in that same school that cheers me up, right? and im not saying that i dont miss my secondary school friends, i do, but i cant harp on, forever to those memories of us in the past. Those memories will be kept in my heart, and i shouldnt keep hanging on to them, rather, i think its time to create new memories, of new friends. Isn't life better this way?

    Of course, everybody misses their secondary school friends, and they feel that, hey! why do my new friends not give a damn to me when im down or what? Thats not true. If you want someone to be there to console you when you're down, then in the first place, you shouldnt just keep everything to yourself and not tell your new friends. Of course they dont cheer you up, i mean, how can they, when they dont even know that you're upset?

    Come on, get a life. Friends you had in secondary school, of course, they'll continue to be your friends, but hey, it doesnt mean that you can only make friends once in a lifetime, right? I think you should just start living today.

    Why am i saying this?
    I believe that our class is not as bonded like the other classes, because everyone miss their friends.
    they think their new class sucks, as its not like their previous secondary classes.
    Of course it sucks, i mean, nobody actually really get deep down and try to know their fellow new classmates, how can a class like that bond?

    I used to be like that, not mingling with the new class because i really miss the secondary school class. But well, i attained Nirvana several months ago, but this kinda things really take two hands to clap, I, alone cannot bond the class.

    I do love the Msters, in the class.
    they always make me laugh with really ridiculous jokes that are founded instantly!
    Piano1, smurf, dafeizhudonkeydoo, burmese, sherlyn, leechia, OMG, these people rocks.
    Hehs, im piano 2 ^___^

    We're a nonsensical bunch, seriously, we laugh at the stupidest things!
    and yay! we'll be going to the 9km bridge in singapore on sunday!

    Stupid visha , keep calling me to watch the rhythm of life, the 9 o clock drama on channel 8.


    Oh no, my grandparents just called!
    they said they'll be back on monday instead!
    Super sad, that'll mean, gavin wont be going with us to collect the pugi tee?!?!

    Ugh, dont really feel like going anymore.

    Anyways, it was a really nice day today, i enjoyed myself.

    I shall start studying soon , hopefully, i'll stop being indolent.


    Good day.

    And hey baby! hope your teeth will get better!

    HEHS, your
    green braces rocks! (:

    I love it, and of course,
    i love the person with it ^ ^




    Sunday, May 25, 2008 8:01 AM
    Goodbye grandpoppies! see you all soon!

    Today was the day my grandparents and Gavin's family left for Bangkok. It was a very rare opportunity that they got to see us sending them off since we rarely send them off when they go overseas. Gavin and i talked alot, and it really made me miss him loads, and hell, i really mean LOADS. well, i couldnt bear to see them go, and i didnt cry, i dont cry nowadays, which is good i guess. They'll be back soon, thursday, I MISS YOU ALL! Hope they have a fun time there. anyways, gavin and i were walking across to some snack joint when he suddenly pointed to the ground and said ," Ohmygod..." So, i was looking at the ground and observing where he was pointing, then he bent down, and picked up a dollar shilling. So, i was like, Waaaaaa. So lucky, hahas, and then a few taxi drivers who were on their way to the joint saw it, and sort of chided him for taking things that dont belong to him. We countered back, and well, it really was exactly what we are - you know, i think, we really are, the best cousins at home. SERIOUSLY. We've been in the same school since what, primary school? through thick and thin, sharing weal and woes, in the nitty gritty parts and parcels of my life.

    So, i'll say this here, and you should know i mean it,
    " GAVIN !!! THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME ALWAYS, and you know, your jokes aint funny, but at least i laugh because they are not funny and you laugh at them! "

    Im so gonna miss them, pray thursday comes soon?

    Anyways, i also heard from Gavin that the chalet will be held from 2nd june to 4th june? Hmm, think i can make it (: Hopefully, it'll be dang fun.

    Well, there's still school tomorrow, and im so tired, so im going off now!

    Oh hang on, before this, i'll like to write this here lest i forgot that i had actually pondered about it before.

    Well, im not from a rich family background, and my parents always grumble at the lack off funds at home, haha, and you know! I was just thinking, isnt it better to not have money at home? Look at those rich people, throughout their entire life, they'll never know how it feels like to feel poor, or be poor. At least we get a chance to! Because living is not all about having the perfect house, or a huge perfect car, and wads of money to be used as a duvet, its about experiences, and all. So well, thats just what i thought. A pity my parents dont think like i do, and they even chided me for being nonsensical! LOL, nevermind, im going to sleep, photos!


    My grandpa , the backview


    my grandma- the backview


    Granny seldom takes photos! Im so honoured to have a photo with her! (:


    I can tell you, i seriously love this photo! the background is nice and all!
    We were at the airport!
    COUSINS FOREVER!



    Gavin's sister,
    ZOMG, she's way taller than me,
    im such a shortie, hahas.


    ^___^
    Goodnights!



    Saturday, May 24, 2008 8:51 AM
    Hmms

    HOLA HOLA!!!!






































    Emptiness is suspense? hahas.
    Well, i'll stop joking around, because im kinda tired. I was supposed to study two chapters of chemistry today, and it was an impossible target since eileen is usually very very lazy on Saturdays, but then, well, i finished chemical bonding today! and i started on a few pages of intermolecular forces , up till, i think hydrogen bonding! WOOTS!

    Well, of course, what caused eileen to mug so hard?
    I was so bored online that i messaged this person, and we agreed to meet, and then voila! we studied, and fooled around together!
    We had so much fun in AMK library!
    I reached there at 4, sorry im late! and then we walked to popular to get my Chemistry TYS, but unfortunately, they dont have the edition that i need, so we walked to AMK library in the end.

    We were talking as though we havent seen each other for years, and the guy beside us was quite fierce, so we had to tone down, and hahas, we even accidentally blasted music while sending some music files to each other! We got out of the library around 2025. Afterwhich, we went to get something for my beloved, and yups, thats all about it!

    Lol, something funny happened just now.
    We were like talking and walking out of the library to AMK interchange when suddenly, there was the sound of wheels behind us, as though a huge vehicle was charging at us. This person then screamed so loudly, she grabbed my hand and made me scream as well! then i turned around to the astonished face of a malay guy, who was on his bicycle. lol, i felt so embarrassed and stunned, and then we both ended up laughing. Hahas, i dont know why that person screamed, and really, i had a really fun day with you!

    That person is none other than Karen Ho Xian Xi
    Thank you so much for mugging with me today!

    And for once in my life, i see the damn nonsensical side of you, i swear, i could have laughed till my sides ache.

    Hey! I love what i bought for you!

    Bon voyage to my grandparents, and to gavin's family, as they'll be leaving for Bangkok tomorrow!

    Goodnight, fellow friends (:





    Eileen loves sunflowers, but since you can only grow green beans, i'll love them too.



    Friday, May 23, 2008 10:22 PM
    Poor throat!

    Today, i was supposed to sleep till the late afternoon, i wanted myself to,
    you know, a sort of welcomed respite from the daily monotonous routine of waking up early and feeling so groggy and tired.

    Alas! I was rudely awaken by my throat, not that it knows that its disturbing me, lol, but anyways, i started coughing like mad, and i felt myself getting out of breath. So, i woke up, and felt this huge lump of phlegm stuck in my throat. I went to spit it out, and ZOMG! its red, and obviously, it cant be tomato paste. It kinda seems like i was vomiting blood, but well, its just merely me spitting out bloody phlegm. So, i was freaked out, and i couldnt get back to sleep. It was around 1235 so i decided to wake up and brush my teeth. I couldnt bring myself to study chemistry. It's just too... boring.

    Anyway, any one with a decent mind will not eat slices of chocolate cakes after seeing their phlegm covered with blood.

    Well, apparently, that goes to show that i aint got brains.

    I guess my brain is replaced with tauhu ( beancurd)

    Good day folks, blog again later!


    OH!!!!
    P.S. My beloved Jay Chou sang the 2008 Olympic theme song!
    千山万水
    the song is so touching! INSPIRATION STARTS FROM HIM!


    Anyways, go read nancy pio, aka piano aka yuanxin 's blog, and you'll nkow that she really is mad, considering the fact that she brought her house's cordless phone to school for GP MYE. LOL, when i read it, i was like, laughing my ass off, rolling on the floor.

    We will go to the 9k bridge soon, and we'll have Msters tee! bleahs! (:



    8:48 AM
    HO HO HO

    HOLA PEOPLE!
    Hmm, my GP MYE is over. and i cant say much about it. I cant say i didnt study for it, which is patently untrue, since i really did mug for it. And well, i did the question on music, the questions were kinda tough, but well, its over, so no use crying over spilt milk. After the GP, we went to AMK hub to celebrate o8o5 Khoon beng's birthday, and the people in the class, they are mega great! i mean, i didnt go with the entire class, but well, the people there, they're just nice, a whole load nicer than those in my class (: so, i had a great time, and after that, i went to meet him and i went home. Reached home kinda late, and sister taught me some skills on photo editing! so fun! (: Well, image heavy, hahas.


    GAVIN - you are just defamed for not knowing how to eat subway properly without having mayonnaise all over your lips! Muahahahas.


    loves.


    this is what i call ; dumb...


    and dumber, hahas,
    5 years and still counting..




    ♥ its all about you.



    A collage of random pictures, (:


    Haniffa's burger palace!

    *******
    Presenting to you,


    here, i end my post, goodnight people.
    Sweeet dreams,


    YAWNS



    Thursday, May 22, 2008 6:44 PM

    Can blind people see their dreams?
    Can deaf people listen to the rhythm of life?
    Can the mute speaks endearing words of love?
    Have the ignorance realise their past actions of folly?
    Have the dying knows what life is?


    Will those who've moved on remember their past?
    Will those stuck in the past try to progress?
    How long is the forever in love?
    Will everlasting friendship promise to survive?

    **************

    Well, anyway, that's just something melodramatic that i wrote after i chatted with Wei ling. Hmms, i feel quite sad for her, and maybe for myself too. Because the fact is, we all miss each other's presence in school, yet, we cant do anything about it, because she has her own schedules and i have mine. Her being in poly, and me in JC makes exacerbate the difficulty to meet. But im sure that we're still able to meet up somehow, albeit the schedules, afterall, she lives in Ubi, and i live in Bedok, lol. And we've been friends since primary school! I wont let thie friendship die, i assure you.

    AND DONT WORRY!
    i havent forgotten you my dear girl!

    Thanks for wishing me good luck for GP! I need all the luck i can get, seriously.
    I think i've tried my best, and im resigned to fate.
    I just hope, that i can at least pass.

    You know, i went to catch a nap yesterday at 1900, and i told my brother to wake me up at 2000. What happened was, he did wake me up , but i wasnt able to. I woke up only when he called me! So, i was like, surprised, because it was already 2245. I was so tired, i went bacl to sleep, and woke up today, at 8.
    Nothing much left to do, basically, probably i'll read through the lecture notes, and well, all the best to myself.

    JIAYOU JIAYOU EILEEN!

    you can do it, you can do it.

    yes im self assuring myself, but really, thats the best i can do for myself.


    Like sugar cubes that encounter steamy mugs, i dissolve in you.



    Wednesday, May 21, 2008 7:18 AM
    Update

    The moon is so beautiful today, its orange, and i stood along the corridor leading to my doorstep, watching the ball of orange shrouded by fluffy clouds. It's a beautiful, and i wonder, if you're also watching the same thing as i am. but i guess, even if you really were, it'd be from a different angle, and probably, you couldnt even see the moon from somewhere as far as bukit panjang. So far away from me, my humble abode, located in the east of singapore, bedok. i think you live somewhere in the west, or southwest? im not sure too.


    I got back my biology test. I got 24/40, and im kinda disappointed with myself, because i feel that i can do better. but well, since i didnt compare point to point for the last 10 mark essay question, i got a 6. Initially, i got a 9, but since marks had to be deducted for those who didnt compare, i've got 3 marks snitched away.

    Wasn't feeling that happy in the morning, but well, i seem to feel so much, especially in the afternoon, where i got to meet my most beloved and missed girlfriend! hahas, we shared GP notes, and talked about many things like school tests and gossips and stuffs, and yeah girl, we're gonna meet up in the june holidays to mug together!

    ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG..
    So scared. My GP sucks! and my GP MYE is in two days time!
    SO SO FREAKED OUT.
    I wish i can just pass, you know,
    i really wont mind if i can get, even, in the very least, a 20/50.
    I know 20 is not a pass, but i cant do anything,
    i dont know why, but im just weak in GP.

    I cant seem to be able to analyse the questions, and i always lack content. I guess my language's alrighty, but not my content. My essays lack depth, but i really havent got anything i can think of that can substantiate! Starlight Starbright, let me have the wish i wish tonight, lol, i'd resort to anything, even the stars, if i can get at least a 20 for GP.


    Im gonna give the NE rep talk a miss, though i cant, since its compulsory. But i really dont wanna waste my time in school, since there's no chinese tomorrow, i'd be released at 1030, and i gotta wait two whole hours just for the talk to begin during common lunch break. So, forget it, scrape that. Im definitely gonna give it a pass. no doubts there.

    I just found out that you eat those satayed-sticks stuffs in the same way i eat mine! you'll pull out the satay stick and then eat the food, like me! When i do that, my friends will say that im nuts, but seriously, its really easier to eat like that, and safer too! Give it a try, buy a stick of Old Chang Kee and pull out the stick then eat the food using the plastic bag, it's nicer, hahas.

    Im tired, but im waiting for you to come online! So hurry hurry!
    I wanna sleep - my eyes are closing as i type this!

    Oh another thing. I do not enjoy Pugilistic nowadays. I mean like, yeah, though im not in the exco, but can you people keep me updated of all the news thats happening, and if i need to attend? Because its freaking irritating to have to receive last minute messages to call me to go for pugi and stuffs, I DO NOT LIKE THAT. God, i hope you all can get it so i wont have to repeat that to your faces again.

    Thats all, good day.

    Goodnight.
    Crossing my fingers, pray i make it for GP.


    Sidenote:
    ))):

    IM FEELING SO SAD FOR THE PEOPLE THAT'D DIED DURING THE CHINA EARTHQUAKE.
    Im feeling so fed up, why is this happening?
    Some believed we angered the gods, and they're doing this in a fit of rage,

    So, i just wanna say this:
    Please be appeased, god.
    Those people do not deserve to die.
    Im praying very sincerely that there'll be no more innocents with their lives taken away from them.


    I guess, thats the best i can do, nothing more,
    I know its useless, but i dont know how else to help.
    People, stay strong, because there are people here praying that you're safe,
    believe that we're here to give you support!


    Buddha, tua pek kong , guanyin, allah, jesus, please help, come out, come out and help, wherever you are.
    Thank you.

    Yours sincerely,
    Eileen Loo Yi Zhen



    Monday, May 19, 2008 5:54 AM
    Ramblings



    RAMBLE-RAMBLE-RAMBLE

    Ramblings:

    Studies:
    Okays, so i've did some tutorials today, and i felt pretty good about myself, through i also feel kinda dumb because i was unable to do questions on Enthalpy. I finished my functions tutorial, i tried to do chemistry, Gaseous, which the structured, i couldnt do, and the enthalpy, which i can only tried up till question 3 because i completely dont get the topic. I know Mrs huang's gonna be real mad since she'd the one who conducted the lectures on enthalpy, but i cant do anything about it, because i really suck in that topic. I do hope people who're good at it can teach me if not, i'll lag behind. anyway, after giving up on Enthalpy, i did entropy, and seriously, i enjoyed every bit of it. ITS THE FIRST TIME! lol, yeahs, its the first time i did chemistry tutorial with so much fun, and i didnt leave any blanks! Im so proud of myself, woohoo. I also did my chinese, though i left out a small bit since i didnt really read the text. It's a boring text, of like what, 5 pages? ZOMG, i dont read chinese unless someone reads those words to me. Oh, yeahs, speaking of chinese, i did badly for my oral, i think. For the reading portion,i've got like, what, say 9 to 10 reading mistakes! But phew, kinda breezed through the conversation part since the topic was about stress and all. I think i've mentioned that i flunk my maths, so well, lets close that topic. Other areas? oh, GP exam is this coming friday! Im so scared, decided to meet up with Rasina to study for it together since im really weak at it. Im so scared im gonna flunk it, kinda developed a phobia for it since i flunk so many of the GP assignments! for literature, the poetry analysis, i got a 17 upon 25, and for the Othello part, HA-HA, i got 12 upon 25, but overall, there was a 'good' in her marking! (: Will be getting back my biology test on wednesday, please, dont let me fail it.

    So, end of ramblings for studies, lets move on.

    friends:
    hehhehs, i've got super great friends. I love alot of them, those really close to me, and talks to me. I miss my secondary school friends, they will, always, stay in my heart, well, since they used to rock my soul! Rasina, Zul, joel, berlisa, pei yan, Fazz!!! ZOMG, they are such nice people. I still remember the many things i've did with them, the foolish little teeny weeny bits of lame and ridiculous stuffs that got us all on the floor, rolling about laughing. God, i miss you people, real loads. I know a day in my June Holidays will be reserved, specially just to meet you all. We'll have truckloads of fun, promise! and not forgetting the new friends i've made in NYJC since February. You know, i've never believed that friends from OGs will actually still keep in touch after the OG is split. Gladly, that thinking was sorta eradicated from my mind! Karen and i are still going strong! (: We talk, and im sure i'll go out with her somewhere in the June holidays! Not just Karen, there chun Kiat and aaron! they always say hi, and this other girl whom i cannot remember the name..sorry. AND OF COURSE,THE M-STERS! Thank you all for being there for me always, and Yuanxin, you always make me laugh with your oar jokes, piano, and all those silly things! I hope that we'll be together for the China Trip! Friends rock my socks.

    Moving on to...

    Love:

    YOU''RE THE BEST!

    Best kept secret, and greatest joy.
    Im so saturated with happiness!
    ILYILYILYILYILYILYILY!!!
    Shhhhhhhhhh


    And well, lastly,

    oh wait, there isnt really anything else! Family, nahs, nothing to mention, everything is at it is, so yerps.
    Oh, except, i think grandpops and my other family members like gavin's family, and another buncha them are going to Bangkok next week, cant remember the date but yeahs, i know they're going.

    Im chewing on a gum as i type this, and i bit my lip! Sobs!
    T________________________T
    It hurts!

    Happy Vesak Day, kinda late but well, better late than never.
    I offered my prayers in the temple just now, and i did it really sincerely.
    I hope they'll come true,
    winks!

    Buhbye people of the internet, i wanna watch 'what happens in Vegas' now with my siblings!(:



    OH MY GOD, ME WITH BROWN HAIR!
    a long long time ago, sighs

    A really really nostalgic photo:


    GIRL I MISS YOU.



    Sunday, May 18, 2008 1:29 AM
    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmms

    Pictures from yesterday, taken by gavin's lousy camera.
    anyways, i just got home from giving the kids tuition, so here i am now, addicted to the computer.
    Seriously, i blame the temptations created by a mere existence of a machine called computers.
    They really wreck my life simply by drawing me to use them
    Okays, i should stop pushing the blame, and well, so those are the pictures.


    the third picture with Moses! lol, how many are we gonna take?!?!


    The two nicest cousins - i so love them.


    She's the most adorable, and the cutest! loves!

    anyways, i just heard from terrypuppy that someone said im together with Yc. well, they can keep guessing, my lips are sealed.

    Good day.



    Saturday, May 17, 2008 8:36 AM
    HAISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    SIGHS.

    Anyways, i just came back from the dinner, the sort of celebration with my cousins. It was quite fun, just kinda sad because sister didnt come, and he wasnt able to come! Kinda feeling depressed a little but well, i shouldnt, because well, at least we spent some time together before we went our own ways.

    We ate at Aston AGAIN.
    AGAIN ! Last week, i went there for mothers' day celebration, now i went back there again for another dinner.
    ZOMG.


    Well, thats all i have got to say. But cousins rock.
    I enjoy their kiddish presence, and the way they always make me smile with their adorable actions. I love babies, and i wanna have loads of them. then we'll live in a plana-van, and we'll fly across the world.


    not the time for imagination now, eileen.
    Someone's hurt, so you should just shut up and well, think about why he's hurt.
    But i dont know why.
    Sadly, maybe im insensitive? but im not!
    I care about people's feelings, including yours.
    But sometimes, maybe its juts, your insecurity, my insecurity?
    I dont know.
    We shouldnt be, at least, i dont think we should.

    Because i have full trust in you.

    Maybe you dont, it doesnt matter.
    I just cant believe it.


    And im still thinking of what she said to me,
    and how, well, how they seem to stay in my mind and make me think about it again and again and again.
    this is so not fair.
    I dont like to ponder about such sad stuffs.

    But thank you Karen, you really encouraged me and made me feel a whole tad better.
    Thank you so much!

    I cant do these anymore. All these are so tiring.
    so much backstabbing in JC, so much hypocritical actions,
    and how subtly the people around you put it across that they want benefits when they;re with you.
    What the hell man?
    If I've known that JC life would be like this, will i even want to attend it?

    I dont know,.
    I should really stop thinking,

    sometimes, i wish i can be as happy as Yuanxin aka my favourtie Piano. she's like such a hapyp person, i really wish i can be as worry-less as her. Her bubbly personality is like, i dont know,

    Why cant i be as happy as her?
    why cant i be just as smart?

    and now you're saying im playing games with you.
    Im not, literally, im blogging,
    and well figuratively, im not playing any games,
    im pouring my heart out.

    I dont want this anymore.
    All these thingy-s suck.
    I hate to think.

    Please, whatever you wanna say, just say it right to my face, i dont want any backstabbing, and hypocrisy, and i dont want myself to get upset too.

    I want to be happy just like anyone else.

    Worries and troubles and problems , please eff off.
    thanks.



    1:51 AM
    hahas

    A sleeping you.

    As i type this, someone's behind me snoring his head off! ( exaggerated)

    I've eaten 2 small tubs of yogurt already! Yummy, anyways, i didnt go to Lynn's belated birthday celebration today, well, its alright, i enjoyed myself at home as well, lol, kinda lazy to go out nowadays, so, im sorry to those whom i've rejected to join you all! Take care people of the internet,

    I love you, the person sleeping as i type this!


    Gotta go now, will cram in another post tonight,

    (: thank you for being here,



    Friday, May 16, 2008 4:51 AM
    Happy my ass.

    Happy Pugilistic Celebration:


    the beautiful cake


    The food


    the 29th batch


    taupok #1 !


    the 29th batch and Benjamin


    Tau Pok #2!


    Candled cake. pretty pretty. heartwarming.




    I dont wanna go to china. I dont want to, i dont want to, i dont want to.

    Call me irresponsible.

    Its not that i dont want to, its just, i will miss my family, my siblings. I'll miss my boy. 2 whole weeks. OMG. what if, something happens,
    like, i die in the SzeChuan earthquake?
    What if..he finds someone else?
    what if, something happens at home?

    I know these are ridiculous, since its like, another half a year more to go, but seriously, i've almost never been away from home.
    And now? well, 2 weeks. god,
    My dad said to me a few days back, the last i ever saw of him, he said, " dont overstressed , daddy's behind you! I know you can." And then i was feeling so encouraged, and now what?
    daddy, im sorry i flunk my maths.
    A 10 for maths, over a 30 marks.
    Sorry.
    I know Dad wont blame me, he's not gonna scold me, in fact, Dad's never scolded me over studies, because he thinks i can.

    I dont think i can. Sometimes, i just go through the motions without having any confidence. t's merely luck that got me through everything. And now, lady luck's abandoned me, daddy, me so sorry, couldnt meet your promise, end up failing.

    I hate failing. Pathetic failure that is maths,

    China, i dont want to go to you.

    What if, what if, what if.
    so many what ifs. So impossible to answer all of them.
    what if you have someone else?
    and when i come home after 2 weeks, nobody's there to receive me?

    why am i thinking of all these? its cuz, i was in the bus, and i fell asleep so accidentally, and dreamt of me going to china, and being all alone and that.
    God, those freakish nightmares.

    I'll miss you people:


    My beloved siblings,

    and i'll miss you. Real Loads.





    Thursday, May 15, 2008 4:23 AM
    Hmmms

    Sometimes, i wonder, that maybe i've been too contented with myself, of who i am.
    Im so ordinary, so simple. And maybe, i am just too contented. Sometimes, words that people say, that dont think they've mae an impact. Well, at least, not for them. But you know, those words may hurt someone, and those words will stay in their minds for as long as they are able to convince themselves that those words are not true.


    Sadly for me, no matter how much i try to convince myself, or you can say, deceiving myself, that its not true, i cant. What she said, the whole scenario, its like im watching the scenario of whats happening from afar, as the whole thing is being played in my mind. how i could just say it to her face that im not, but i cant. how much i wanted to shut her up with my confidence about this whole thing, about us, about me. But i didnt, i couldnt. All i did was some cowardly act of burying my head in my arms and listened to music as the assembly continued. I pretended i didnt give a damn about what she said. I joked, i laughed, i talked. I fooled around.

    It's like back in secondary schooldays, where i'd put on a facade, pretended sad things dont matter, and continue with joking and all. But i know, that last time, if i ever do put on a freaking happy mask, Rasina will know. she'll ask me whats wrong and all, and i'd not feel so damn alone, because i know, at least, someone can see through those smiles i put on, and being able to see through those plastered emotions, she is able to be there, lend a ready ear, and everything, a simple pat on the back, a hug, or even a smile.

    Naw. not in this school. I can pretend all i want, and nobody will know. I want to, and i wish to, erase those things she said from my mind, her accusations, her harsh tone, and her choice of words. But i couldnt. Because the fact is, i really dont know.

    Im so doubtful, not of you.
    Of myself.

    Im lousy and inferior. Im nothing, and im a nobody. Im not someone thats good enough, as in, im 16, and most girls this age will do normal things, like you know,

    They are capable of:
    Dressing up nicely, which i cant. My taste in fashion is horrendous.
    Wearing high heels, which i cant. I'll either break the heels, or my limbs.
    Wearing make up, whcih i cant, because i absolutely hate layers of those powder and glitter on my face,
    Wearing accesories, which i cant. because i hate the irritating feeling of those dangling things around my neck, hands or what not.

    And i dont have any talents.
    I dont play guzheng.
    I dont dance.
    I dont play the piano.
    Im weak.
    Im short.

    And you're the opposite of me,
    You are:
    Tall.
    Built
    from singapore youth flying club, which means you have a license in piloting
    skilled in taekwondo
    able to do splits
    able to play piano very well.

    See. Inferior me.

    Maybe, thats what i've been saying from the beginning that, well, im just too simple. Too easily contented with the life i have. Or maybe im ignorant. Her words still stuck in my head like glue, and there's nothing i can do to erase them. Promised you i'll not think about it. but right now, im so traumatized by it, im miserable.

    Misery seems like a stranger nowadays, seeing the fact that im always usually happy in school because of you. but now, its coming back. I wish to be able to do something to get my mind off whatever im thinking. My feelings, such inexplicable sadness, i feel so degraded in a sense. i degrade myself.

    God, i think im not gonna think.
    STOP STOP STOP.
    Im going insane.
    Im going to sleep.
    And maybe, i'll not think about anything else.
    Im coming back later to do my PW, so well, hopefully, i'll be a little bit more clear-headed and post about the happy Pugilistic celebration yesterday.

    Happy my foot, when throughout, i was still thinking about HER WORDS!
    OMFG.
    stop. im not gonna think.
    Shush. im gonna calm down.

    I'll go to sleep, and dream.
    of you taking me to the skies in a plane, and looking at clouds.
    I'll look forward to it,



    Tuesday, May 13, 2008 2:18 AM
    ):

    * Sniffs sniffs*

    Actually, i was going off, after i blogged the previous post,
    and then, what happened?
    I went to the clique's blog, and i saw Rasina's post,
    Awwww, yes rasina, i still remember!

    Those days, working for Manfield, picking up calls in that small little room,
    watching cartoon network, and that stupid channel 5 show called solitude.
    Going out of the room at 1 plus a.m for our breaks, went mcdonalds-ing,
    us going to the wrong terminal,
    us taking the sky trains like 3-4 times just for the fun of it,
    and trying to get back to our terminal before the skytrain stops operating at 2.30
    Us making funny faces in the skytrain, singing and listening to music,
    especially a whole new world.
    Ohmygod.
    Those were the halcyon days of my life.
    You'll always be the one nobody can replace,
    and im missing you so much!

    We'll meet up, okays?
    And we must try to do the skytrain thingy again and again

    AND AGAIN.
    AND AGAIN.

    Okays, i gotta stop hogging the computer, so off i go!