The Brinjal's

Sunday, March 30, 2008 7:42 AM
NY

Hmm, last time NY was great.

Now it sorta sucks.
Sucks sucks sucks sucks.

The teachers there - my teachers - they suck.
The school food - sucks.
The people there - sucks?

Aiyahs , i also dont know! Im like so fed up.
Sorry for the grousing.
Okay , maybe they dont really suck.
Maybe im just..irritated.

Frustrated.

I havent done my PI , which is due tomorrow , and its now , 11.
Im gonna have to burn the midnight oil again.
Im so so tired.
I just rushed through my tutorials , and tried to mug for biology.

I finished - i think.
But im miserable.
Because i cant remember the previous things they i've tried to remember.
I think im an idiot.

Well, im gonna stop.
Stop
Stop complaining.
Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Anyway , Pugilistic society- the CCA im joining,
It's gonna start tomorrow.
And im getting the jitters.
Im not sure why.
I think im scared because its so foreign, and maybe because im afraid that i'll be the only girl joining.

Besides, my ankle hurts.
Im wrong about walking on a sprained ankle.
Because its really painful.
But i have to recover soon.
there's gonna be hell loads of running-s to do!

My mother noticed that i wasn't up to myself yesterday.
I ate the dinner with less enthusiasm,
I didnt talk.
I just sat on the floor in my room,
playing old albums of jay Chou.
His songs are really really moving when it comes to moods like this.

All these is beginning to suck.
My fairytale story is crumbling apart.
My nice imagination - fantasy - of JC life is ruined.
Im beginning to feel the fear.

I dont think im able to make it.

This is all too much for me.
Im falling apart.

OH , have i ever mentioned?
Fairytales are fake!
FAKE!

There is no true love in fairytales.
The prince just meet this norm girl, and they fall in love.
Because the girl looks prety and the guy is dashing.
What the hell.
Stories like Cinderella , Snow White.
Bullcrap.

And those Korean dramas -
Dont people ever wake up , open their eyes and realise that all this thats happening in those dramas are never going to come true?
Dont people get sick of watching these kinda things - things that'll never happen to real life?
If so , why are they still indulging - or should i say wallowing - in something like drama's fake romances?

Okay , im just sour.
But , this really is true.
There's only this story - fairytale.
which i think , is worthy, and true.

that'll be beauty and the beast.
It's a touching tale.

Anyway , i think i'll start doing my PI.
I havent got a clue on how to begin ,
and what to choose.
Feel like doing journeys,
so i think im gonna give it a shot.

I'll try my best,.

bye, `boring people of the inernet.

Saturday, March 29, 2008 3:50 AM
Terribly sad. crushed

I was studying biology just now when i fell asleep.
And then i woke up 25 minutes later, feeling so lost.

I will be happy for you.
Because im the worse choice you will never make.
So yeah.

I'll stop believing.
Because the truth is right here ; right infront of me.
It's never possible,
and thats what i want to believe.

Because im the worse.

12:54 AM
Post

Im gonna cram in this blogpost before i embark on a long and monotonous journey - Mugging for biology. I went to the sports carnival today , and like i said, i took part in orienteering.
Originally, i thought of not going , because i was damn tired.
I could barely open my eyes, but i just went, because ...
Nevermind, anyway , my hard work paid off, and im feeling quite happy.

Hmm, so yeah. orienteering.
It was alright, just that there was alot of running to do, and we got 42 points.
We're ranked fourth in the J1 orienteering cohort , not too bad i guess.
Oh, our class didnt win anything too , but thats alright,
As long as we had fun.

Griffin- thats my house.
The tee is yellow.
And Griffin is the lousiest in the school.
I wish im in Dragon ( GREEN! )
But well, cant be helped.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, totally satisfied in the morning.
Well, actually so happy that i was motivated to be enthusiastic during orienteering.
Dont ask me why , i wont tell anyone.

Secret.

After the sports carnival , we were originally going to have lunch together, but then i was too tired, i backed out, and so did many of the rest, i took bus 66 from there and i went home.

I slept almost all the way.
It felt so damn good.

There are many things in life which we cant change.
So, things will stay that way, and if you diligently stand by your belief or hopes,
you'll have them come true..

Is it true?
or am i just deluding myself.
Maybe i really am, you know,
i just need some assurance !!!

Im kinda frustrated ! i want this and i want that , but it can hardly be fulfilled!

BLAHS BLAHS BLAHS.

Friday, March 28, 2008 7:14 AM
OF , well, almost everything.

I slacked today. I reached home at around 630 , went to bathe and then had my combined lunch and dinner.
Anyway, i promised myself that i would study the part on Mitochondria and Chloroplast today ,
but i didnt. I ended up drawing for my mom. lol , i drew for her, two pictures.

and she seemed quite happy with it,
though she told me my colouring sucks.
But well , whatever, i think its pretty neat ;D

I slept at 3 last night, because i realised that i had maths tutorial which i had yet to complete.
so, i rushed to do them and stopped halfway through when i was soooo tired.

In the end?

Mr Chee didnt even go through a single question on that!

T___________________T
*sobs*

Anyway, im happy for myself today.
this is because, im not that unfit afterall!
I can run okay-ly.
i can run in the same pace as my classmates for 5 rounds around the 400m track!
Ran together with Anna , she's a very nice girl.

Just that, when i read her blog,
its kinda sad. and the surprising thing is , like me, she doesnt show it in school.
She plasters on huge grins and make people smile.
Thats very altruistic.

I thought i wont have enough sleep today.
Indeed, i didnt. but i was an uber great girl.
I didnt sleep through lectures nor tutorials,
I kept myself wide awake by constantly pinching my face and washing my eyes.

The sports Carnival for NYJC will be held tomorrow, somewhere near the CCAB. Dont ask we where that is, seriously, i dont know. Im representing the class in orienteering, together with hunni, ye min, hui yi , jiaxin, and han quan. well, i didnt want to , but since everyone in the class has to take part in at least something, i chose the easy way out.

Though i really dont know how easy it can get.

I've got to go now people.
I promise i'll work hard tomorrow!

And PS , i saw someone's boxers today during PE lesson.
Trust me, i wasn't looking out for boxers,
i happened to chance upon it. And if my eyes didnt fail me.
the boxers is Pink/ Red in colour.
LMAO. I DIDNT DO IT ON PURPOSE.
Okay, to sidetrack, i ran today ,
despite my ankle hurting me.
but i think i've gotten used to twisted ankles.
Because when i run with a sprained ankle,
it doesnt hurt that much anymore.

Goodnight!

2 carrots for my mother, hohohos

First earthworm , " hug me , baby.."
Second earthworm ," sorry honey , no hands ..."

I thought of it myself.
Nice? ;DDDDD

Wednesday, March 26, 2008 7:18 AM
ugh

(>" ,)> " any free hugs ? "

************

i was feeling kinda moody today.
To tell you the truth , i dont know why, but for the past two days , i brought sandwiches to school. I dislike the school's variety of foods , so i thought a sandwich for breakfast is enough to kick start any lousy day i might be having.
I started eating the sandwiches the moment i boarded the bus.
And the surprising thing is , when i reached NYJC,
i realised that i was not even halfway through the sandwiches.
So , zomg , i had to stuff the whole sandwich into my mouth before the command for the flag raising thingy was given.
Then throughout the whole song , i get to chew the sandwich. thats the only nice part about stuffing it into my mouth.
But , its so weird! I mean like , i boarded the bus at Bedok , and when i reached Serangoon , i havent finished my bread?!
I know why i didnt finish it today, i think i sorta know. I took my sandwich out when i found a seat , and i started nibbling , or chewing whatever. Then i fell asleep on the bus, and when i woke up , it's like somewhere near hougang , and then i started to nibble at it again. So , i was kinda slowwww. Thats because i am so tired today. I slept at 11 plus last night and woke up at 3 , for some god-forsaken reason which i cant remember.
Maybe its because i need to pee or what , but after that , i couldnt sleep. so , i tossed and turned around until well , i just woke up. And did my own stuffs quietly so as not to disturb my siblings. So , the damn lethargic me in school was moody , and not just that , lol , i took it out on haniffa. He was , like the rest of the class, teasing me about Z-win and me being an item!
And hey! i dont know whats the deal between Z-win and i!
I mean like, i completely know not a notch about that guy and then there's a rumor going around to say that we're uhhmm, waaaaaa~

Okay, so he was teasing me,
and then i felt so fed up ,
i kicked the chair under the table,
creating such a loud bang that everyone turned around ,
and sorta glared and yelled at him, but other that that ,
i really cant be bothered. I felt bad , and a little better ,
for being able to take it out on someone ;
all my frustrations and whatnot ,
but at the same time , guilty because i've just scolded haniffa.

so , yeah , i'll like to extend my apology here , hope you really dont mind , hunni.

Yeah , i went running just now. Nono, hunni , me and gavin , we were supposed to be running. But what happened? i mean , i was doing fine at the beginning , until haniffa started singing and making me laugh until my sides hurt so much till i couldnt run. then we went to the park surrounding my house and then we sang and danced a little to the music blaring from my phone. It felt kinda nice. I sorta relaxed a little. We did a little more exercise , then we went home. I didnt really exercise that much today , but well , i sure had a huge gulp of pretty refreshing oxygen that was able to aid me through remembering the biology part on lysosomes and vesicles. And yeah , my ankle hurt. I climbed up onto the kitchen cabinet just now to get something , i cant remember what it was that i was trying to get. when it rolled outta my hand and i tried to catch it ( something like that ), and then i tumbled down from the cabinet , hitting me right at the ankle. It hurts a damn great deal. Oh, yeah , i remember what i wanted to get already , its the watermelon frost for ulcers! Yeah , and tomorrow is gonna be a boring day of mugging, mugging, and mugging! Grrrr, i missed so many people. ( in no order of importance) I miss wei ling. i hadnt talked to her for a long time already I miss Poi! My lovely girl , its been so so long. I miss Rasina, zomg , i cant seem to find the reason to laugh without you! I miss joel, his sarcasm and what not , and yes, i do appreciate his sarcasm. I miss jake, his blur blur face and reactions. I miss Joseph, his sometimes cold attitude towards me and the way he sorta makes me laugh. I miss my ex class - the noise level and all - seeing that my current class is like so quiet! I miss loads and LOADS of people! Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Im going to bed. Im soooo tired. Hopefully , i wont find myself waking up at 3, and not being able to finish a sandwich on the way to school. Goodnight!

Oh yeah , did i forget to mention?
I fucking pissed with my entire family.
They are freaking insensitive.
Im mugging my head off, and what happens?
they order me around.
for my grandma , its alright, since she cant move much, but for those who can WALK, why are they like this?

feel so much like discontinuing my mugging and play all day long.
I can do that you know, parents.
I can, im just doing my best to satisfy all of you..
do you proud?

Nahs , i dont really want to bother about that already , since you guys dont even wanna take a fucking off day to attend the speech day for which i'll be getting a prize for mugging my head off for the O's/

Nevermind.
Maybe some things are just not meant to be.
If they dont wanna care , i'll just do it for myself.
And i'll be happy for myself.

Im sure i will.
i hope i will.

Sweet Dreams

Tuesday, March 25, 2008 6:45 AM
zzz

Im like super sad.
WHYwhyWHY?!?!

Why so many people say i dont look like Chinese?
I am a full fledged chinese okay?

Before i dyed my hair back to black , many people asked me if im a Caucasian.
Now that my hair is black , they asked me if im a malay.

?!?!!? wth!!!

I am absolutely chinese, and i love myself that way.

Oh , by the way , i ate an ice cream today.
The uncle was like , ringing his bell to alert people that he's around the neighborhood.
I called home to ask if anyone wants an ice cream , and then what happened?

The man vrooomed away on his motorbike.
i had to chase him around the entire carpark before i got to buy all those ice creams.

Okay , i know im supposed to abstain from these kinda foods , sweet kinds like candies , ice creams , and stuffs.
Hellos! Im trying my best!
I hadn't eaten any chocolates for 2 days already.
And i didnt eat candy today.

Only an ice cream.
and hey , i ran around the carpark just to get an ice cream you know!

Besides , its a reward.

YES , A REWARD.

We were told to run 5 rounds of 400 m on the track just now.
The girls were given a timing of 13 minutes 30 seconds to fufill the criteria.
I thought i wasn't gonna make it..

But i did it!
Just on the dot , well , actually a second less.
but whatever, i did it! ((((:

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Smiles smiles **

I studied the part on golgi apparatus just now.
Im feeling uber tired.
I wanna sleep , but the witch from howl's moving castle ( according to Ye min , winks) , aka Gerda huang , my chemistry tutor , has assigned us some chemistry practicals thingy to complete by tomorrow.

Grrr, i dont wanna do it but well , no choice.

I have to go now.
Totally happy for myself today , however, i still dont feel like mingling that much with the class.
I isolated , again.
sat behind purposely, dont know why.

I wanna know why , serious.

maybe im just too tired..

Yeah , most probably.

Monday, March 24, 2008 3:50 AM
)))):

Okay , today i dragged my lazy self out of bed just so i can reach school ON TIME.
I think im seriously lazy , i mean , its such a chore for me to wake up at 7. Grrrr.
Anyway, today's lectures and tutorials - they were so boring! I practically dozed my way through PW lecture , and missed out a great chunk on the Preliminary Ideas thingy. And as for Biology and chemistry lectures, i didnt sleep ( much to your astonishment? ) , i paid attention but oh well, they taught some shit about some glucose fructose thingy which i completely cannot catch - i was like sitting down there and stoning because i just couldn't get it , and for chemistry , i tried to follow , but his voice has got this power to hypnotize me , so i started day-dreaming.

I didnt sleep. but day-dreaming is bad enough.
then came Chinese lesson.
And it's a nice lesson.
My chinese teacher gave us 7 minutes of power break to let us grab some buns or go to the toilets or whatnot , and what did i do while she blabber away to the burmese guy?

I slept. Slept through the entire 7 minutes.
See! I made full use of the time given to me !

After that , i staggered home, so tired that i fell asleep on the bus with jay's songs playing in my ears. It was so comfortable that i wish the ride wont end , but obviously it did.

If it didnt , i wont be here typing this post.

Yeah , and i felt so tired and all when i reached home.
In school , i'll never show the tired side of me because i dont wanna look lethargic and all.
I wanna appear as the cheery and happy person.
The one bursting with life.
But sometimes, i really feeel sooooo tireddddd.

And so, i decided to go for a run.
although i wasnt feeling happy. In fact , it was the direc opposite.
You'll know that if Eileen ever go for a run willingly , it'll be to take her mind off things.
running washes your brain and face with gushes of winds.
okays , no sense but whatever.
I was thinking of running around the reservoir once , ( 4.8 km) when i thought better of it.

I dont like going to the reservoir and run anymore.
I used to love it.
But the reservoir holds so much memories. They are too overwhelming , especially now, i dont want an emotional roller-coaster ride.
But , for some idiotic reason, i purposely took the route to the reservoir and strolled there thinking of Those Times.
Times when we met at night to sit down on the grass to cuddle , talk and star gaze. Times when i tried to catch up with you while you're running round the reservoir although im a very slow runner compared to you.

I dont want to run there anymore.
So , i ran 3 rounds around damai Secondary School.
My secondary school.
I ran the route we took while we were tested on our 2.4 last time.
It was exhausting.

And i felt happy and sad at the same time after the run.
the time i took is 16 minutes,
Yes, it is very slow compared to anyone on earth.
But , i am happy - happy because that was the timing i had while i was in secondary 4.
And sad because i didnt improve.

Maybe its because i ran on an empty stomach, lol , i forgot to take my lunch before i went running.

Or maybe because the time of the month left me with too little red blood cells to transport oxygen to my muscles cells.
Well, any link there? My biology is not that good , so im not sure.

But whatever it is , i really wanna train harder so that i can improve.
In NYJC , a bronze is considered a fail.
I dont wanna fail , but i know i definitely will because i'e attained bronze since primary school all the way till Sec 4.

SIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.

Gotta cut down on those unhealthy snacks like Chocolates ( all time fav ) , Candy ( its a must have for lectures! but i guess i have to give it a pass..), and what else ?

not sure.
'll leave it at that for the time being.
But know that im making an effort,
so the next time you see me ,
give me a pat on my back and give me your jiayou-s!!

Thanks thanks!

* patting myself on the back**

oh, and i know you all will laugh at the state of my face after i run.
it's like .. i look like a carrot okays?
stop.

tada! call me watermelon;

Goodnight people!

Sunday, March 23, 2008 6:37 AM
bluuuurrrps

Im happy today.
SOOOO HAPPPPPYYYYYY.

Okays , whats the occasion?

actually, there is no occasion, im just happy because i am.
See, im grinning.
GRIN GRIN GRIN GRIN.

I GOT NERDS.
my favourite flavour : watermelon and ( is it) cherry?
And i got myself some Yupi candy.
I just wanna snack on candies!

Actually i was kinda moody just now.
Aiya, blame it on the time of the month.
emotionally unstable, lol.
Listening to Jay Chou's songs got me into that mood too.
ahas, but i got over all that.
decided not to waste my time getting all nonsensically weepy.
So , Laugh Out Loud.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Okay , enough of fooling around.
thats a really stupid post.
Goodnight people!

Current song : jay chou's
hehhehs , naw , im not sad anymore.

'Sides, i've got candy!
;DDDDDDDDD

Saturday, March 22, 2008 7:40 AM
wo bu pei

One of my favourite.

5:51 AM
Maybesss

I felt that i just achieved something mega great,
Well, actually not really lahs.
Hmm, i finished 7 pages of biology today!
Woohoo! Mega achievement.

Or maybe not.
Maybe im just easily satisfied?
Maybe thats just who i am.
Too contented too easily.

Such little expectations of myself.
Maybe thats why people like me will never get far in life.
Destined to stay like this?
Maybe i should start to expect a little bit more for myself.

But changes take time.
And it takes real efforts to change yourself.
Im too lazy, but in the first place,
Why must i even change?
just because im not the way someone wants me to be doesnt mean that i have to change myself right?

Or maybe i just wanna satisfy that someone.
however, in the process of doing that , i may have lose what's really in me.
what i really am.
so, is it worth it?

Im feeling like this because of a particular reason.
and its a terribly long story.
Dont ask me, and im not going to tell anyone.
Some things are better kept unknown,

Some people are happy too easily.
they tend to be so contented, or satisfied so easily that people push them around.
im not one who'll keep quiet if people bullies me.
If you know me well enough , you'll know that i'll not take bullying lying down.
Obviously i'll retort.
Im not always a goody-two-shoes.

I have feelings.
Well, everyone has feelings.
It's just a matter of showing it.
Me not reacting to certain things does not imply that i totally dont care.
I just dont want to do anything about it , not that i dont feel for it.

So yeah.
end of this super angsty post.
goodbye, and yeah! Im better already.

" Im good at encouraging people, but i fail miserably at trying to do the same thing for myself."

Who said that?

(: Eileen Loo Yi Zhen.

Friday, March 21, 2008 10:40 PM
Update

An update for an extremely beautiful Saturday!
Excited?!?!

UGH
That sounds so wrong.
Today is not at all a beautiful day.
It's a day for sucky backaches and scratchy throats.

I guess my fever has subsided.
There's only left with the bugging coughing and the runny nose.

I didnt give those kids tuition today. I felt like i ain't up to it this time.
I seriously haven't got any mood to do it.
'Sides , i gotta catch up on my biology mugging.

I can only say this , im really uber slow.
There're like 40 pages of it , and im like , at page 15.
And there's only a week left.

Wooots~
You can start praying for me.

My family and i went to my mom's side , i mean my grandmother's house yesterday.
Im so scared that something may happen to my mother's mom aka my grandmere.
She's bald now.
this is due to the side effects of the medicine she takes.

So many pills.
It's scary how the usually robust old lady has turned so... fragile.
She's so thin, and its not that she looks sad to me.
She still laughs as heartily as before, just that..
I dont know how much longer..

Nahs , its okays. Im not gonna say it.
Not gonna think about it.
In 15 minutes time , im gonna continue on my biology.
I woke up so late today.
1245.
Thats because i reached home in the wee hours of the morning.
3 plus a.m.

Dont ask me what we do there.
half the time , i was either trying to read up on redox ( which i failed miserably) , or watching TV and trying to sleep at the same time.

Yeah , thats all.
m going off now to sleep for a little.
A power nap of 15 minutes, because im seriously damn tired.
So, okie dokies.
goodbye.

wish me luck for bio , im gonna need all the luck i can get..

Thursday, March 20, 2008 6:01 AM
long overdue

Pictures remind us of certain things. Memories. I've had many pictures of things i love. things that are worth remembering. Tatty , and more. so, here are a few pictures from which we took when we first went out together. this pictures are long overdue. but i thought i'll put them down for memory sake. Since my memory seems to be failing me nowadays. Well, here goes. 4000 words.

Eileen , Cassandra , jiaxin

Chiwei , eileen , Cassandra

Jiaxin and eileen

LOL, cassandra says i look as though im modelling.
I say thats shit lol cuz i aint no model with that Figure.

Im going off now. Flicking through the channels, relaxing myself on my bed.
i havent done that for a very long time already...

5:28 AM
Busy

My mother's terrified.
She's afraid that i'll get dengue. This is because the number of people getting dengue is increasing.
Besides, i had a fever yesterday. I vomited , and I've got quite a number of mosquitoes' bites.
So, yeah she's scared. she told me to go to the doctor if i want to.

But i think you people should know me well enough.
Eileen Loo hates going to the doctor.
So , period. Lets leave it at that.

Anyway, i think im better. Although i feel that my eyes seem strange. and i think i really got to be careful , since the most easy symptom of Dengue is that your eyes will be strange. I dont really know how to say but yeah i hope you get what i mean.

I felt very sad today. I dont really know why. I wasn't in the mood to joke in class. I isolated myself from Haniffa even though Hui yi told me not to change my seat. I went all the way to the back to sit down by myself while i drew. I fell asleep on the table for about a few minutes when i felt that something was behind me. I turned around and found z-win there.

Hiding behind my chair.
what the hell right? He's waiting for the bell to go so that he can make his escape first.
Today was an utterly sad day.

I admit, i lost to her.
Because i can never , in my entire life, be someone like her.
I give up really.
There is no point.

I ate 3 packets of chocolates just now. I didnt have my lunch. I wasn't hungry and i was absolutely feeling uber moody. Ate chocolates for lunch.
After school, i went to the Bishan Library with Karen. She wanted to teach her friends certain things. So i went there to read up a little on biology before i really couldn't concentrate and found myself reading the book - Misery by stephen king.

It's a really morbid book.
Im going to sleep real soon.
I guess im really really sick.

Oh yeah , i've been pondering. People usually say things like , " i wish this whole week of tests will pass by soon..blah blah." Why are they saying things like that?
Because just yesterday, i realised that im living every minute, and if i want something like a whole load of tests to pass quickly, so that i can get over it, then what i a looking forward to?

When you're young there can still be many things you can look forward to , say like, secondary school, JC , Poly or stuffs. Now that im in JC, i realise that, i dont really want my life to go quickly now. I want to enjoy this JC life. It may be very stressful, but this is a choice i made.

So we shouldn't be complaining. Yeah. We shouldnt.
Because once this entire JC life is over, i wont even know what i wanna do. I'll be at a loss. Because i have never planned for my future. So, i dont want everything to go so fast.
I wanna enjoy while i can.
As im typing this , my eyes are starting to droop, my entire body is aching due to the strenous PE, and my head feels as though its spinning with the neck as the pivot.

I believe im truly sick this time.
I'l go sleep...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 7:37 AM
Dear..

Dear Diary,
Im feeling so sick.
I walked in the rain today because i didnt have a brolly.
And it was raining puppies.
I have got many tutorials to catch up,
and a huge biology test to study for,
which is kinda 2 weeks away.
My family members are asking me to do so many things for them.
Im at their beck and call.
But i feel so tired...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 3:47 AM
I've never been to me

Today , during literature lessons, Mrs Teo let us listen to two songs. She say songs are actually poems , and i really think today's lesson was the most interesting and emotions-triggering lesson. The first song we listened to was I've never been to me by charlene , and the second song was breakaway. The first song had a very great impact on me , but well , the second song didnt really matter that much since i've heard it like a million times ( exaggerated ). Anyway, the powerpoint she showed us while the songs played was done by the students. Inside the powerpoint, they showed us the assonace , alliteration , paradox , irony and rhymes. We have to do something like that and we'll be graded based on that. I dont really know what song to choose, but i think the riddle by five for fighting actually seems like a good idea.

I've never been to me is a song about a whore. It's a sad song and i felt so touched when i listened to it. Im not gonna put the music code here since i rushing for dinner together with the family , so please find the song yourself in www.sogou.com.

I have to go now, and mugging for biology is really draining all the energy outta me lol.
Goodbye (:

Monday, March 17, 2008 7:12 AM
Sadd

Im quite unhappy today. No , actually, not throughout the day. Just , today has got it's ups and downs. Hmm, i'll start off with me going to school today. It started off pretty well. At first , i went to school as usual, then i saw Yin Cheong staring at me when i said Hi. So , i was like , wa , did i suddenly grow pretty overnight or what? And then i followed the path his eyes were staring at and i realised that its not that i had grown pretty ( pouts ) , its just that my hair is suddenly black. And its really so black , well, thats okay , i think i look younger with Black Hair. which is good , since im you know, still young and active!

Started off with Maths tutorial. Im not very good in maths , but i managed to do my Binomial And partial Fractions tutorial and i asked questions during the tutorials. It'll be my loss if i dont ask , especially when i didnt even attend the PAE. Mr Chee was very helpful , and he did clear quite a number of my doubts. Thank You!

Let's not ask me about the chemistry and PW tutorial , since i sorta dozed off here and there or accidentally broke through the boundary between lalaland and Reality. But , i do know that the A levels PW topics are Journeys and Modernisation. Seems pretty difficult to me, and up till no , i aint got no clue on which to decide on. But i dont think im gonna give a heck now since i havent even know who my group members are. So , yeah leave it like that.

Biology Lecture - Mr Neo is on reservist so another teacher, Mr Kwek ( dont know which kwek it is ) , took over and he taught pretty well too. I could catch up, and he did his best to prevent us from falling asleep. The myanmar guy sat beside me and asked me lotsa funny questions. But its okay , since he is known for his eccentricity. During the lecture, he suddenly asked me this funny question , " Hey, can you see the endoplasmic reticulum under my skin." he was pointing to his hand , and i was like. uhhh ? incredulous? wth right. So, i just gave him that uhh-can-you-not-ask-silly-questions-face and then he stopped asking (:

Biology tutorial - havent got anything to say since the teacher calls me Aileen. uuuuuuuuu

PE - took my height and weight. I grew taller by around 2 to 3 cm ! YAY!
Height : 153
Weight: 46.3 KG
Hmm, i think im alright with it. After that , Cassandra and i bused home together, since we take the same bus home. Chatted up on quite alot of stuffs, it was better than me going home with the headphones' company. Bathed, did some Biology reading and then tried to read up on the chinese textbook. Too bad, i dont understand the first 3 words and tada , i gave up. and im actually still feeling quite good about myself for attempting to read even though the interest's not even there.

Thats when the downs came. I dont really know how to put the downs across. Just know that it involves money and dad's frustration. But, im cool with it. He's frustrated about those monetary issues , and we all dont talk. It's alright, im not exactly the one to break the ice around things at home so i stay mum , like i always do , so its no biggie.

But, he's not as hostile now. He tried to talk to me and ask me about school. I'll say , a great attempt dad , glad you went to all that effort to give me those pep talks thingy. (:

Woah , i didnt expect such a long post for today! And its just the beginning of term 2. Hmm, sorry , im too long winded. It's 1030 now and i think im going to bed so goodnight people! (:

P.S. To Rasina : my condolences to your great grandmother. Dont be too sad , cheer up ! I'll be right there if you need someone!

And oh yes , i still miss having rasina around the school. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sunday, March 16, 2008 3:08 AM
Buhbye

Hmm, i'll say ,
" BYE-BYE BROWN HAIR ! "
Yeah you got it right , my mom helped me dye my hair black just now.
Ebony Black. I have to do it , i mean dye the hair.
If i dont , Mr Neo will be like , " why your hair like this?" ( and im not kidding , he can be quite fierce at times, especially in the area of hair , since he's like , well , uhmm bald. )
Anyway , besides that, i'll really miss Mr Gurrrrmit Singh 's nickname for me. He calls me 'Brownie' because of my hair. Now, i guess he'll stick to calling me watermelon.

Im just squeezing in this nonsensical post before i continue with the very last of my holiday homework - Im redoing my partial fractions. I tore the older one i did in a fit of rage when i realised so many careless mistakes in it.

After that did i realise that im insane , but well , its already torn so i guess i REALLY have to redo it.

So , tata people!
Goodbye to my brown hair and to the March holidays!

Friday, March 14, 2008 9:57 PM
Rich families

Before i go off to give the kiddies their tuition, i'll like to just make a quick post.
I'll like to talk about how people without wads of cash cant seem to be happy with each other.
Ever seen those couples ( not teenage ones) , oh well, Married Couples. Those who are rich will never ever have a single quarrel. I cant generalize , but i've got this friend who's filthy rich and he can come right out and tell me his parents have never ever quarreled.

Which is why those kids without rich parents kinda have to watch their parents quarrel about almost anything to do with those green notes.
I'll tell you why i hate money now. Which is a great big fat irony because obviously, one cant hate money. You'll totally need money to survive in this world as complicated and materialistic.

Yesterday was a cousins' gathering day. All the cousins went out together. We went dinner-ing , arcading and then shopping and then off to supper. My brother and i reached home at 1215 in time to see my dad sitting solemnly on the bed , my mom lying down, back facing my dad.
I could tell straightaway that she had been crying.
Dad told us something related to money, and im pretty sure money has got everything to do with my parents' quarrels. I went to bed at 3 , still thinking of other reasons except money that'll make them quarrel.

I have to go and give them tuition now. It's 1 and their tuition will start in an hour time.
Im tired, but i still have to go.
so, thats all i guess. Bye.

Quoted from my brother: " i love what money can do but i hate the problems caused by money."

Thursday, March 13, 2008 10:43 PM
Todayyyyyyyyy

For the title : i put it as " today. " ( a very lame title , i know)
I'll be staying at home today , for i've been going out for the past 4 days , and i guess i really need to stay at home. I WANT to stay at home. It's time-with-granny-day today. Only my brother, my granny and i are at home. The rest of the people are working, and in the case of my grandpoppy, he's out cruising. mm, due to the lack of time i spent at home, i didnt realise that many things are happening in the family,

Only after i heard the people opposite ( namely my godmama) , and Gavin's mom have a conflict that has yet to be resolved. It's still ongoing, and not just that, this conflict sorta implicates my grandparents, its hard to explain. I dont know how im gonna go about saying it.

It's something about the 1 room apartment my grandfather owns. He's going to rent it out to other people, and i think the people are arguing and ARGUING. It's so..i think the best word here will be " sian."

UuuuUUUHUTDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDFGHNDBHDGSDGaeriguffweuifbvgsdkgDFGTUTYKDSDTUJF
Forget about that previous line, it's just to vent.
Anyway , besides these conflicts. The area of studies is also bugging me loads.
Mainly because i didnt go for PAE ( actually i dont regret not going.)
Im just angry that the teachers are not going to teach most of the topics!
What the hell. I guess i have to do everything on my own already.
And i'll most probably need help.
Anyone out there willing to help?

Off to do some homework now , byebye.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 8:21 AM
Class Outing!

~~Ni hao~~ HELLOS

Today was supposed to be a day for class outing , but then, it turned out to be not a class outing. Lol, it was just four girls, walking around. Chatting , lunching, arcading, and then movie-ing. Though i didnt watch the movie because i had to go and meet Gavin, and pei yan. Truthfully, even though there were so little of us. It's alright , because it was so damn fun! I shared so many things i thought i'd never tell anyone. lol, and i learnt what evergreen , green , orange and red stands for! *winks* We went to Plaza Singapura, and i was late by 15 minutes! Luckily , the people didnt blame me, I love my class. The people in there are so outgoing, so nice and so amicable. Cheers! I went out to lavender there today , to try and get a pair of shoes , but i didnt really find one that i like, so we headed to tampines. And voila! there's a converse sale there, so i bought a pair of trainers. I bought it because its green! Got a pair of green and white slippers too(: My favourite colour! And P.S cassandra loves green too(: YAY! Im meeting Peiyan and Rasina tomorrow at the library at 10 , gotta catch up on stuffs that i missed out which were taught during PAE. Ugh , so much mugging to do! B-O-R-I-N-G ! Gotta go , i have to get a shower , towel my hair and then sleep. So tiredddddddd. Goodnight people!

From left to right : Cassandra , Eileen , Jiaxin , Chiwei.
*smiles*

OH! yeah , actually , there are still many other photos, but im too lazyyyyyyy.
lol , if you wanna see them , go to:
http://cassting.multiply.com
(: tatas`

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 6:04 AM
Fun

Hmm, i went out with Karen today and it was so fun! we went to queensway Shopping Centre to get her FBT shorts. I didnt get any because i already had a few, lol. Im too tired to blog about anything else, so yeah. Let the pictures talk! And oh, i have got a class outing tomorrow, i think i'll be going. I wont be a spoiler! (: goodnight people of the internet!

I thought i looked retarded, but someone said i look cute! ;D

lol, me at the fake " fireplace"

Karen is a hello kitty fanatic?! lol

We thought this huge ball of flowers looks cute so yeah,

Us , in the hmm, artificial garden?

Me!

Me in green , karen in peach.

Fierce?

Wow, so sweet hehs

Sorry , just had to do that(:

Gooodnight! (:
FUN FUN FUN

Monday, March 10, 2008 5:33 AM
Mixed feelings

Hmm, just some sort of mixed feelings i feel i should put down in case they disappear as fast as i've had them.

Feeling: Happy.
Reason: It's because of my beloved brother! He went out for his bbq, and i havent had my dinner. And that adorable boy called back and said he'd takeaway a fillet for me! It's so nice, that feeling. And he say he'll upsize everything for me too, lol. Uhmmm, im hungry hungry hungry.
So hungry that i can gobble 20 chocolates , 50 packets of fries, and 80 bottles of green tea.

Okay, maybe im exaggerating. Sorry lah, i got carried away.

Next Feeling: Shocked!
Reason: It's because my dad asked me to pour him a cup of beer when he was bathing. And when he came out, the beer became so less! And the funny thing is, he came and asked me , " Did you drink my beer? I know you're not in the best of moods, but dont drink okay?"
I was like , uhmm? what's he saying? but i just kept quiet. It's okay, lol.

The slimfit boob enhancement advertisement is on right now.
It made me remember something.
Last time, when my dad saw that commercial, he said he wanna give it a go, see how it's like.
LOL.
nevermind. i gotta go!
See you people! Goodbyes,

;D

2:30 AM
Meaningful story!

Hmm, i found a meaningful story on the net which i'll like to share. To me, i think it really is very nice and inspirational, so well, here it goes, hope you'll enjoy it! (:

PUT THE GLASS DOWN

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.

He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you
think this glass of water is?"

The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm. "It does not matter on
the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for
a minute, it is Ok.

If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold
it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it
becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be
able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier."

"What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before
holding it up again."

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed
and are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work
down. Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a
moment if you can.

Pick it up again later when you have rested.
***

So, end of that story.
Anyway, i felt so happy today.
I wanna thank my dearest aunt for allowing me to print 200 over pages of notes and tutorials using her computer and printer! Thank you so much! I really appreciate what you've done for me(:
And i met Joel today! It's been so long since i last saw him, and he looks about the same as before.
He didnt grow any fatter nor thinner, hmm, maybe he's a little bit darker compared to last time.
but anywho, you look great! XP

Im so tired today, was caught in the rain, drenched, and i have so many tutorials to catch up with.
The irony is, i dont really feel the urgency, which is bad.
Instead, i feel so lazy, lol.

Well, im gonna lie down and rest for awhile.
See you people of the internet! (:

Sunday, March 9, 2008 8:00 AM
Remembering

Hmmm, so i shall post what i have to say for today.
I dont know why, but i remembered something today.
I dont know how on earth it came to me,
but..nevermind i also dont know how to put it across.

I just wanna say.
Im no ass kicking babe.
Im no pretty face.
Im who i am on the inside,
and im glad,
i have you people by my side.

To all the friends who've walked me through thick and thin,
thank you very much.
Life is very short, and you never know ( or in the case of gavin and rasina), you never knows,
when you're going to die.
There are so many things i have yet to do which i want to do.

I want to watch the sunrise with my special someone one day.
I want to watch the sunset too, though i've seen it so many times.
I also wanna stargaze, lying on those lush green grasses.
I also wanna play basketball well, and grow taller.

And the list goes on.

I dont need to have pretty clothes, or branded goods.

Quality, not quantity.
So, yeah people.

Sorry for such a ..uhmm long..no its not exactly long.
Its just, maybe im just a litle teensy weeny bit on the emotionally unstable side.
I, too, dont know why.
Maybe its the find of a sudden bonding with new people.
Maybe its the missing of old friends.
But whatever it is,
i know that i have you, and you know you have me too.

Goodnight.

Our class - 0802 rocks!

Friday, March 7, 2008 7:50 PM
Pictures

I realised that i have actually quite a number of pictures in my phone, that is acculmulated over quite a long period of time. I feel like deleting them, but at the same time, i dont want them to like vanish completely, so yeah, i'll put them here.

Caution: Image heavy.

(:

Chi wei and cassandra hugging, so touching.

My sister and her boyfriend, awww so shweet.

My sister and i, haha. we look different.

My favourite froggie chocolates when i was young!

My sister and i, the setting is so plain but nice.

Strawverry smoothie and cookies and creme (:

Some of my coolest class peeps

And there you go, they posed! chibabom!

Im not feeling so good today. i have a sorethroat and my cold still hasn't gone away.
But dont worry, i'll live.

PADDLEPOP

Current song : True by Ryan Cabrera (:

8:03 AM

A meaningful song, love it.

Countless eyes are watching
in this our finest hour
it’s time to realise the dream
and who we really are

i’m gonna freeze this space and time
rise to meet the call
seize the moment, make it mine
and through it all

straight as the arrow flies
i’ll run toward the finish line
with all the strength i’ve found
my feet won’t touch the ground
i will scale the heights if i believe
your wings of faith will carry me
i’ll go the distance just to reach
the arms i’m running to
i’ll go the extra mile for you

i know it won’t be easy
to make you understand
i wanna take the glory
and put it in your hands

cos you’re the light that makes me shine
you’re the hero in my eyes
win or lose, do or die
i’m aimin’ high

straight as the arrow flies
i’ll run toward the finish line
with all the strength i’ve found
my feet won’t touch the ground
i will scale the heights if i believe
your wings of faith will carry me
i’ll go the distance just to reach
the arms i’m running to
i’ll go the extra mile for you

(go the extra mile) in the end
(go the extra mile) i wanna be able to say
i gave all of me for the world to see
and i would do it all again
i’d go the extra mile for you

straight as the arrow flies
i’ll run toward the finish line
with all the strength i’ve found
my feet won’t touch the ground

i will scale the heights if i believe
your wings of faith will carry me
i’ll go the distance just to reach
the arms i’m running to
i’ll go the extra mile for you

knowin’ it would be worthwhile
i would go the extra mile for you

BLISSFULLY DELIGHTED ^ 100000000000

7:12 AM

Hmm, yes, im going to blog about today's level camp. It was, to be truthful..
I didnt wanna go at first.
I woke up, and took my time in the house, walking slowly, and in the end, i reached school just when all the announcements were made, and i missed the national anthem and all those shit.
So, yeah, i didnt wanna go because of two reasons:
1) i was sick. I had a liniment coated ankle, a fever, and a stupid blocked nose.
2) I had a very bad attitude towards the PVC thingy, aka, the training.

Notice i used words in the past tense in the second point.
I hadn't want to participate myself because i dont wanna believe in anything the PVC people say. I dont know why, but i sorta thought that the training had been something that tore us apart. I guess maybe i am wrong. Maybe its just me alone. So, well.

We continued from what we left off yesterday this morning. With those people who haven't spoken, to go up on the table and share their goals. I dont know what happened next, but cassandra, our camp facilitator, aka, my classmate, started crying because she said we didnt care about the person talking, that we didnt even wanna share our time with our CT.

I'd be lying if i say i wasn't angry. Because, i can swear it on my life.
No matter how biased my thinking of the camp might be, no matter how lousy my attitude towards it is, i gave my 100 percent attention to my classmates.
I really want the class spirit.
The bond kinda thingy.
And im so glad to say, we achieved it! I feel so happy.
We played games like trustfall, and another which i'll mention later.
Trustfall ;
You know, standing on 6 stacked-up chairs with your back facing the people down there. on the count, you'll choose if you wanna fall, and the people below will catch you.
I had full faith in my classmates, i believe they'll catch me.
And they didnt disappoint me. I went third, and when it was time to fall, i topple over and i didnt hit the ground.
I felt this sense of security when i relaxed in their arms and waited for them to put me down(:
I feel so happy for hunni because he did the trustfall, even though we were given a choice not to do it. GOOD JOB THERE SUCKER!
Next game, we had to like sorta go through 3 squares made of strings, tied together to 4 chairs which act as a stand to hold the strings. You have to get your CT through without touching the strings, and if one person touches it, the whole CT will have to redo it again. It was so difficult.
We tried so many times, and finally , only, me, michelle, jiaxin and visha went through(:
We are the so-called tiny people in the CT aka Guinea pigs -.-
After that, we have to thank our facilitators, and they cried, Cassandra and Chiwei.
I feel so grateful to them. feel this class bonding and it really makes me feel so warm inside.
These will be the people i will work with for the next 2 or 3 years of my life, and i wanna make the best out of it(:

Then it was dinner, and alexander came. So all of us ate.
THE FOOD SUCKS.
Sorry africans! I wasted the food.
Anyway, Artemis won 2nd in the olympian! YAY!

After that, we had disco. We danced the mass dance, then started the disco. Those hip hop songs were played, like hollaback girl, pump it and all the small things. and there were many others, but i cant remember anymore. I danced like hell!
I know you cant visualise me dancing, because i always am the demure kinda girl and all that.
But hey! i really did it. Hunni and i were like mad people, dancing like we dont care about our faces, lol.
It was so fun, kinda reminds me of prom. But prom is the ending of something important,
while this is just the beginning.

I have changed, i think.
im no longer the quiet quiet girl in class.
I share, i act, and i go WILD(:

Cheers.
I've flown away.

P.S. Anna, Huiyi, jiaxin, michelle, visha, haniffa, marven, han quan, alexander, li chia, chiwei, cassandra,zi can, peiling, you people rocks!

GOODNIGHT.