Dear Kaitlyn, Aidan, Corbin and any other kids I have or will be blessed with,
This past weekend was General Conference, and as I watched it I was reminded of just how blessed we are to have the true church in our lives. I use this blog to keep a journal type record of your childhood, and I wanted to let you know what I know to be true so when you doubt or are being tested you can read what I knew to be true. I don't want you to ever doubt that I had a testimony.
I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me personally. I am thankful for my brother and Savior Jesus Christ who died for me that I might live again with my family forever. I am thankful that I know why I was sent to this earth. I am thankful for a prophet who can lead us and give us counsel to help us to be the happiest we can be in this life. I know I am not perfect but Heavenly Father doesn't ask for us to be perfect...he only asks for us to try to be perfect. We only have to try our best and he will make up the rest. I have had a hard time in my life trying not to compare myself to other people. I use other people's accomplishments to rate how successful I am. I am trying to change this but it is a work in progress. I came across a quote that truly touched me. It said..
"Let me cite a hypothetical example of a dear sister in any ward, the one who has perfect children who never cause a disturbance in church. She is the one working on her 20th generation in her family history, keeps an immaculate home, has memorized the book of Mark, and makes wool sweaters for the orphaned children in Romania. No disrespect, of course, intended for any of these worthy goals. Now, when you get tempted to throw your hands in the air and give up because of this dear sister, please remember you’re not competing with her any more than I’m competing with the members of the Quorum of the Twelve in winning a 50-yard dash.
“The only thing you need to worry about is striving to be the best you can be. And how do you do that? You keep your eye on the goals that matter most in life, and you move towards them step by step.” Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “One Step after Another,” Ensign, Nov. 2001, 26.
When I feel overwhelmed and get caught up in all that I am expected to do as a mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter, church calling, etc. I reflect back on this quote. As long as I am striving to be all that I can be....that is all that matters. It also helps me remind me that I need to do it a step at a time. If I try to do it a fast pace...I am going to get tired and fatigued and I will probably eventually give up.
To me this life isn't about how fast you move or about how much you get "done". It is about how much you love, help, and thought of others. Sometimes I forget this though, but I hope people remember me by how much I loved and cared and not by how much I "did".
I also testify that Heavenly Father knows us each perfectly and individually. He knows all that is lovable and beautiful in us. The world teaches us to think we are unattractive, unacceptable, and unworthy of love if we don’t meet the arbitrary standards it sets for us. Sometimes it’s hard to turn away from such loud and convincing lies, but our Father in Heaven will always be there to remind us of our worth and of the value He sees in us. His standard, not the world’s, is the true measure of our worth. The more we believe and accept the Lord’s love, the more we will love Him and trust in Him.
When I do start to doubt and give into Satan's thoughts I try to remember this quote.
Opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened. It can happen when you are trying to get an education. It can hit you after your first month in your new mission field. It certainly happens in matters of love and marriage. … There are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. … Face your doubts. Master your fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence.’ Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.”Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence,” Brigham Young University devotional address, March 2, 1999.
This quote helps remind me that Satan is real. He is as real as you and me. He does not want us to be happy. He wants us to be as miserable like him. He never gives up and he never takes a day off. He will try in whatever way possible to bring you and I unhappiness and we have to try to always be aware of his snares so we don't fall into them.
Even though, Satan tries to bring us down....there is someone who is there to bring us up....Jesus Christ. We are supposed to be happy and joyful in this life and as we follow Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ we will be that happiest have the most joy possible.
I love my children and have tried to do and be the best mother I know how to be. I hope they will see through my faults and know just how much I truly love them. They are my life and my world. They are my happiness and bring me the most joy. I love you so much!!!!
Love Mommy