Keep Swimming, never give up!

Saturday, May 09, 2009 @11:29 AM

God made my past mistakes into something GOOD

It has really been a hard period of time figuring out what is causing me to be so miserable these days and why I get so affected by people around me. Now I see the reason why. It is the root of unforgiveness. It can really destroy you. I was drowning in it for the past feel weeks and God spoke to me a few times but I didn’t really get it till it got worst. It was then I choose to do what is right rather than what I feel is right by turning to God and resting in His presence. I need to fight it and decisions need to be made. I felt better after spending time with God.

I slept and as usual I always have dreams. In the dream, I went back to my secondary school (when it was still the old building) finding for someone there to take something. On the way up to the top level I saw my friend sister (as usual I bully her) and followed by my friend, sitting at the staircase outside her classroom with her friend studying Chinese(that is something I will not forget about her). It was pretty funny because I was wondering to myself, “I thought she is in poly? Why is she still in secondary school? And her sister still looks as if she is in sec 1 or 2.” I got quite puzzled.

When I woke up, I was wondering how come I dream of my friend. As I was thinking back, all the flashback of our past came to my mind. The good and bad times we had and how she had hurt me so much. It has been many years back when this had happened but it has engraved in my heart and mind so vividly. I could never forget it but the funny thing was that I have forgiven her for so many years already. I remembered how quick I was to forgive when she apologized and ask for forgiveness. It was hurtful but I made a decision to forgive as I loved her so dearly as my friend.

When I return to reality, I realized how I have changed and how unforgiving have grown to be due to many hurts in my life after the very first time I got hurt by this friend of mine. I start to not release love so easily, less merciful, etc. It was a way for me to protect myself but I learn through teachings that when I do that I am hurting people too. People around me get hurt. People whom I love get hurt too. I really need to unlearn unforgiveness and relearn forgiveness, not seeing it as a weak person who do it but as a strong person who do it, because only a strong person can forgive easily despite the hurts. Lots of humbling down of my heart needs to be learn too.

After I reflected upon it, I actually message her, telling her that how what happen to us, God has made it good in His timing and I thank God for placing her in my life. She was amazed and I pray that this would be the beginning of our friendship again too. Not the case that we are not friends anymore but we do not share life anymore. She is a sister in Christ too and I pray that we can grow spiritually together in this race. J God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Praise God for what he has done in my life.

Father, please nail your love, forgiveness and joy into my heart.
I want to be well and I want to grow to become who you want me to be.
God I release all my anger and hurts to you.
May you please take it and give me a divine exchange.
Keep reminding me too, because I am a forgetful beings.
Restore me for you are a good God.

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

& PROFILE

[[ Just Me ]]

[Josephine]
[Hephzibah]
[24 sep]
[Band]
[Hope Resource, Lightings] [1D '02][2B2 '03][3B1 '04][4B1 '05][1F05 '06][2F08 '07][3F02 '08]

[[ The Wishlist ]]

*Acoustic Guitar
*Bag Pack for lappy
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*Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels
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*I dare you by Joyce Meyer
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*Try the different type of candies in the world
*Visioneering by Andy Stanley

*At least 1CG per School in the Campus
*Unite the CG and unfold the potential of each individual
*7 LSCT students

[[ The Events ]]

*20 Aug - DDD paper
*22 Aug - Genomics paper
*22 Aug - JUMP concert at fort canning 7.30pm
*24 Aug - Sentosa outing with Ted

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