Thursday, September 28, 2006 @3:14 AM
Faith Vs Doubts
How easy it is for us to doubt than to have faith?
How easy it is for us to forget He has the full control?
How essy it is for us to forget what He has done for us?
How easy....
How easy....
Going for this mission trip is a challenge of faith for me.
The feeling not being able to confirm, frustrates me.
And it made me forgot that God has the full control.
I was so blinded by my worries
That I didn't realise that I was actually doubting God
God just spoke to me in the leadership camp
And yet I forgot about it so fast!
But I thank God that
Fel woke me up from it
All I could do now is to pray by FAITH
And to leave it all to Daddy in heaven to settle.
If He wants me to go,
He will make a way for me to go
If He doesnt't want me to go,
There must be a reason for me to stay.
It is all His plan for me,
I shall not worry
I shall not doubt
By faith, in what ever circumstances that will happen tomorrow, I'll give thanks for it is His best plan for me and I will obey Him.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 @5:07 AM
A Blessed Birthday!
This is one of the best birthday I've ever had.
I was very touched by my brothers and sisters in the NP unit, especially those in my clique one day before my actual day of birthday. We may not know each other very long yet, but I'm very touched by what you all had shown me. The gifts maybe small but what I saw is the heart and the love from each and everyone of you. It is the heart that is of importance, not really how valuable the present is. I just want to say Thank you so much!
But this is not the end!
I went for leadership camp later that day on my birthday. I was rather distracted and doubting quite a lot whether is it really God's decision to put me in this camp. For the 1st lesson - Vision, I was really concentrating much. For the 2nd lesson - Anointing, I got worst and I keep praying to God to calm my heart down and eventually I got better.
God knows how I feel and what I am struggling on. During the prayer session, the leaders went around to pray for us. Nel came to me straight away and started praying for me. I guess the Holy spirit was prompting her to pray for me. God actually used Nel to speak to me. Fel prayed for me too and He too used Fel to speak to me.
He said,
"Stop Doubting, Stop Fearing."
"Be Courageous, Be Bold"
"Don't use your own strength, but rely on ME"
"I am always with you"
I cried once I heard this. It was what I wanted to hear from Him from the very start of my struggles. He knows it all. He knows me so well. He is so real! Who can overtake Him?( no one!) I felt so loved, comforted and affirmed by Him. It is never me but Him and is was He's decision that I was put to come to this camp.
Other then what He spoke to me, I realised that the tongues I spoke was so much more confident than before and the touched of the Holy Spirit was so overwhelming and power that my hands start to tremble. It is so real! I can sense the presence of the Holy Spirit so strongly. He has always been here beside me, just that I wasn't sensitive enough to feel Him.
I received a present from lennon in front of everyone and they all sang me a birthday song. I went stunned and lost for words but overjoyed. When I opened that present, it is called " Called to be God's leader". Just that title, I felt even more affirmed and determind to be that leader God wants me to be. It may not be easy but I'll try, not with my own strength but His strength.
I really THANK GOD for such a great 17th birthday this year. He gave me great brothers and sisters around me and also the best present from Him ( those affirmation, comfort, love, peace and joy) . THANK YOU JESUS! This will be the most memorable birthday you've given to me.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
Thursday, September 21, 2006 @3:55 PM
Only You can satisfy my needs
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain. -------Palsm 139: 1 - 6
At some point of time, I felt pressurise by everything and everything seems to be screwed up. Perhaps, its just myself that didn't have enough discipline over myself. The word "No" never really come out from my mouth when it should. I just somehow don't know how to say it out. That causes me to be spiritually dry once again and making my growth very ineffective. It has been a struggle for me these few days, but I seems get my focus back when I was praying very hard and crying out my needs to God. I flipped through the bible here and there, and I found Palsm 139: 1-6. This verse comforted me and calm my confused heart down. He answered my prayer, and spoke to me once again.
Even sometimes, I may not be doing very well and people might not understand but He does. He understands me inside out, my needs, and everything. He is everything that I live for, is it how He sees me that is of importance. This is one thing that I should really remember and stand firm in. I felt that I've finally woken up from my long sleep and beginning to get back on track and do what I'm called to do.
It is from Him that I found Comforted
It is from Him that I found Peace
It is from Him that I found Hope
It is from Him that I found Purpose
It is from Him that I found Joy
It is from Him that I found Love
It is from Him that I found everything that I ever needed
Knowing You is the GREATEST GIFT of my life
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
Thursday, September 07, 2006 @11:44 PM
Hope Kids event
I brought Laurelle
Zhige brought her sister(jinjin)
Xue brought her cousin(ze xun)
Meh meh brought her sisiter(jessie)
It was rather a boring event for me, but for my cousin and the rest of the kids, they seems to be enjoying themselves.Haha. It feels a bit like Hi^5 to me though. Anyway, there was this little girl about 4 years old name Andrena(lol, not sure how to spell) SHE IS SUPER CUTE. OMG!! She's like quite different from the other kids of her age. I dont know why. Lol. Her attention time spend is like much longer than other kids and the way she talks is like so knowledgable for her age. Wow, I could tell that she is very well brought up from the way she is talk and all. Perhaps its because of her family background I guess. Goodness, she lives in town. Lol, rich kid. But anyway, she's a nice girl. I had a fun time entertaining her and playing with her. Hope, so see her in Hope Church for the next Hopekids event. =P
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
Wednesday, September 06, 2006 @11:30 PM
First formal NP3 caregroup
YAY!!! Today, I finally got to go for NP3 formal caregroup, I'm so so so excited!! :D Haha. Lol, I guess everything was great! And corrine came! WOW, so happy :D. I hope she enjoy the time of fellowship there with us, though it ended rather later. HAHA. Oh mans, I'm doing holy com today. I totally freaked out mans. =p. Aiyo. Sorry daddy. I guess it was because I laughed too much or something, that cause me not to be able to settle down.Its alright, I did my best. Shall try again next time =).
We didnt have sermon D today, but instead fel suggested that everyone of us share our lives to one another. COOL! =D so fun! Through this, I really got to know more about each and everyone of my caregroup members. Wow. Lol. I dont know what to say man, but I just totally enjoyed the caregroup time though it ended rather late. GREAT FELLOWSHIP! Oh yea, we also passed a paper around for each other to write something encouraging to one another. Haha, not bad! We are putting what we learn last Saturday into application. COOL! =P And I also realised that BIG jose and I are going through the same situtation. SHOCKING mans! It is really so so so similar! No wonder we are similar by name. Then zhige and I are similar by look and somewhat in character too. SO COOOL! Haha! This shows that, I really didnt anyhow call people my twin or what so ever. There are similarities. Haha.
COME HOLY SPIRIT (CHINESE)
CAROLINE
Key: G
Chinese Worship
圣 灵 请 你 来 充 满 我 心
我 需 要 你 恩 膏 充 满 我 灵
圣 灵 啊 我 好 爱 你
我 的 灵 让 你 牵 引
而 每 一 天 我 要 更 深 爱 你
我 要 追 求 你 主
我 将 生 命 献 给 你
牵 引 我 更 亲 近 你
你 大 能 更 新 我 灵
无 人 能 与 你 相 比
主 我 仰 望 你 的 荣 面
我 敬 拜 祢
在 灵 与 真 理 里
Lol, the chinese version of come holy spirit, how cool! Haha, I cant believe that I actually like it a lot and keep singing non stop. OMG =P. Its been a long time since I sing chinese praise and worship song.Haha.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
Sunday, September 03, 2006 @11:59 PM
Encouragement spur one another on (Part 2)
In this world, without money you are a goner. How typical yea? But is it true.
Today when utan and superxue was talking about the bible seminar lesson, I got kind of worried over the payment as I worry that if I keep asking money from my mom, she will nagged at me again. Sighs. I was rather discouraged when I thought about it. To make things worst, I thought even deeper into the root of the problem that causes this financial problems.
Utan, shared to me what I can do and what I can't do. I can help out by saving money myself and not spending so much on food. However, what I can't really control the whole situation and in fact this problem is my parents problem. There is limitations to what I can do.
Superxue, also shared to me about her family background with me. I was really really encouraged by it till, I almost cried in front of her. I really ought to appreciate and treasure what I have now and stop complaining or worrying so much for God will provide me everything. I really feel so fortunated and learnt many things from her sharing too. It was a great sharing with superxue and I got to know her more too.
I'm still growing each day, encouragement is needed to spur me on at times when I'm feel tired. This time, I am really spurred on and I yearn for the change in attitude or what so ever.
Oh Lord, please keep me and bless me in your ways and I will follow you everyday. Strengthen my faith and renew my spirit everyday and may I also encourage one another and spur them on, like how others have encourage me and spurred me on. Holy Spirit guide me everyday in everything I do. Thank you for everything you have done in my life. I am so glad to by a Child Of God. In Jesus name I pray. AMEN!
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
@11:26 PM
Encouragement spurs one another on (Part 1)
It is indeed true we all need encouragement for everything.
Today, Utan, Superxue and I met up at lavander and was heading to see Kar's fencing competition. We go off the wrong stop and walk a very long way into the Swiss Club. At some point of the journey when one of us wanted to give up and not go another more, the other will encourage each other to go on and not give up.
It made me realised that, this is the same as our daily spiritual walk. We all have the same destination, it is just how fast or slow you walk, or how long or short your journey can be. But along the journey we are not alone. We have God and the friends around us that God place them there to encourage us and spur us on to move on through the journey despite how tough the situation maybe.Yea, it is really encouraging and it really keeps you going when you feel like giving up. We can't go on this journey just us alone without constantly encouraging each other. I agree this isn't an easy journey. However, is it worth it to go on with this journey, because it is the Word of truth and the way to eternity.
Though it might be a very long walk to reach Swiss club but on the way I've learn something that speak to my heart and spurs my heart on. Haha. =D
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
Friday, September 01, 2006 @5:05 AM
Some words to my TWIN
Lol, its been indeed a long & tiring day.
Things may come into the way be it good or bad
But I realised it made us open up to each other
Yea! LOL
Its indeed been a good sharing
And also many things to learn from.
I'm glad to get to know you more too.
Somehow I felt maybe certain things happen
To make us open up to each other
And to talk comfortably
Thanks Twin!
Lets continue to grow together.
Be strong, be bold
You can do it!
Thanks for your many affirmation too :)
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
