The Graduation announements are in the mail, 18 days and counting until Lonia graduates from C.H.S. Now all that's left to do is clean, clean, clean and cook of course for the 50 odd people that will be coming to the open house. We started Friday with the carpets, Saturday I decided that I needed to freshen up the house so I took everything off of the walls, shelves, etc. and had a garage sale in my living room, it was like getting all new stuff. The wreath from the girls bathroom is now in the living room, the family picture from the front room is now above the mantle...you know how it goes. Sunday I tackled the kitchen cleaning all of the cupboards, drawers, and the dreaded pantry. Today I will start on the 4 closets that house everything (meaning all my JUNK) that you need once maybe twice a year. I need to be on one of those "organize my junk" shows...Oprah save me. Tomorrow the new furniture is being delivered. Leather couches, tables and lamps for the living room and a new dining room table, for those of you who know me you know the new dining room table is long over due. Eric planted flowers yesterday and filled the 8 empty pots they are now brimming with red petunia's and yellow pansy's. Now I just need to clean the cobweb's from my head and get mentally organized. Why is it so much easier to clean your house than it is to Clean Your House?
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
TIME LOST
So the big 40 has come and gone; and so has winter At Last. Nothing traumatic in turning 40 in fact it was my best birthday yet. Since my b-day, on Dec 30, 2008, I have had what I feel is a reawakening, or a rebirth...yeah rebirth is a better word. There is a lot of dead stuff that I am learning to let go of, and I am looking for the tender shoots of the positive things I have planted in myself to take root and start to grow and flourish. I am hoping that this year will be a year for me to grow as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
As I get older, my kids get older and more independant. This use to terrify me, but I am learning to accept their choices as part of their own experience and focus more on how I can be a better role model than a dictator. In doing this I have found room to breath and a peace in knowing that they will be ok...maybe not every day...but most days and that is fine with me.
My husband is getting older also, and men age so much better than women. I love my husbands grey hair, the way he still looks at me like he did 20 years ago, the way he kisses me and knows just where to touch me...you get the picture. There is such comfort in being with the same man after all that I have been through and knowing that he loves me despite my mistakes, short comings, temper, mood swings and that time I burnt corn on the cob! What could be more comforting that falling into the same arms each and every night?
If I have learned anything in my 40 years it is that time lost can never be regained. We can waste our time being mad, jealous, frustrated, or sad or we can spend our time loving ourselves, our families and our friends and letting go of the ugly.
Christmas this year was hard for me for a number of reasons; 40 was looming, one of my best girlfriends had recently moved away, my father was sick, and my oldest daughter was struggling with personal issues. This was a really turning point for me in my life. For the first time I let go of a lot of things that I normally would try to control.
I let go of my fear of getting older, and I started working out every day instead of just 3 or 4 times a week. I have to get older but I don't have to be unhealthy.
I call Shannon when I can, drop a note in the mail when the whim hits me. I am not the perfect friend always doing the perfect thing and that is ok. I am busy, my friends are busy and I am ok with doing what I can when I can. nO rEGreTs!
You don't choose your family, but you can choose to let go of the things in your life that cause you stress and are unhealthy for you emotionally. I can choose with whom I spend my time...I can say when and how. And that's enough on that subject.
With Kels I don't make demands. Rules, yes. Demands, no. Give her a safe, healthy home to rest her head at the end of the day, if she decides to come home at the end of the day. If she doesn't come home that's ok too. OK it's not OK but I've become really good at pretending that it is. And I thought I was stubborn and pig headed, well I met my match in Kelsi. She's come a long way since she showed up on the door step in January, and so have I.
So, there it is. In a nut shell turning 40 has been a real adventure one that has me looking forward to the next 40 years with a big grin on my face. I think the first 40 years has just been practice for what is yet to come.
As I get older, my kids get older and more independant. This use to terrify me, but I am learning to accept their choices as part of their own experience and focus more on how I can be a better role model than a dictator. In doing this I have found room to breath and a peace in knowing that they will be ok...maybe not every day...but most days and that is fine with me.
My husband is getting older also, and men age so much better than women. I love my husbands grey hair, the way he still looks at me like he did 20 years ago, the way he kisses me and knows just where to touch me...you get the picture. There is such comfort in being with the same man after all that I have been through and knowing that he loves me despite my mistakes, short comings, temper, mood swings and that time I burnt corn on the cob! What could be more comforting that falling into the same arms each and every night?
If I have learned anything in my 40 years it is that time lost can never be regained. We can waste our time being mad, jealous, frustrated, or sad or we can spend our time loving ourselves, our families and our friends and letting go of the ugly.
Christmas this year was hard for me for a number of reasons; 40 was looming, one of my best girlfriends had recently moved away, my father was sick, and my oldest daughter was struggling with personal issues. This was a really turning point for me in my life. For the first time I let go of a lot of things that I normally would try to control.
I let go of my fear of getting older, and I started working out every day instead of just 3 or 4 times a week. I have to get older but I don't have to be unhealthy.
I call Shannon when I can, drop a note in the mail when the whim hits me. I am not the perfect friend always doing the perfect thing and that is ok. I am busy, my friends are busy and I am ok with doing what I can when I can. nO rEGreTs!
You don't choose your family, but you can choose to let go of the things in your life that cause you stress and are unhealthy for you emotionally. I can choose with whom I spend my time...I can say when and how. And that's enough on that subject.
With Kels I don't make demands. Rules, yes. Demands, no. Give her a safe, healthy home to rest her head at the end of the day, if she decides to come home at the end of the day. If she doesn't come home that's ok too. OK it's not OK but I've become really good at pretending that it is. And I thought I was stubborn and pig headed, well I met my match in Kelsi. She's come a long way since she showed up on the door step in January, and so have I.
So, there it is. In a nut shell turning 40 has been a real adventure one that has me looking forward to the next 40 years with a big grin on my face. I think the first 40 years has just been practice for what is yet to come.
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