I got tired of this old world for a while. I disengaged, and decided my energy was much better spent huddling in my new home and taking care of my child.
Surprisingly, the world spun by quite nicely without me. I watched events like Katrina and Rita without comment. Rather, I donated where I thought it would do the most good and tried to find my old faith in God.
People became more polarized over Iraq, if that was possible. Between the calls to 'stay the course' and 'cut and run,' I wondered (without any real passion) where the real solutions lay.
Local politics even failed to interest me. Hizzoner could call for Saudi-style punishments for taggers. I just shrugged, because I no longer have any reason to expect the mayor to seriously address the problems of my city.
Plamegate? Meh.
Murtha? Meh.
Lebanon, even? Oh, well.
Apathy is strange to me, and I'm finally beginning to shake it off.
I've joined an e-mail political roundtable. I'm reading news again. I'm listening to radio.
Sometimes engagement is painful, but here's what's made it necessary: my son has started asking questions. He's paying attention, which means I have to.
So, despite my loss of faith, I'll say one more prayer – help me guide him to his own opinions. Help me help him know right from wrong without being too didactic. Help me teach him that hard right is just as wrong as hard left. And most of all, help me encourage him to think for himself.
I will try to be a good example.
12.15.2005
9.22.2005
"Listen, Honey. I promise I'm not cheating. And I'll prove it if you buy me a hooker and a motel room so I can NOT have sex with her."
North Korea wants the United States to provide light-water nuclear reactors "as soon as possible" to demonstrate Pyongyang's right to peaceful nuclear acitivities, North Korea's deputy foreign minister said Thursday.
They have balls, I'll give them that.
9.11.2005
Four years
Never forget, they say. As if we could.
September 11.
You don't even need to add the year, because your mind will automatically fill in that space. Today, I will pray for those still attempting to fill their own empty spaces -- the families and friends of those who died.
There will be the inevitable news stories and, I see, one docu-drama about Flight 93 on Discovery Channel tonight. Though I won't intentionally watch any of it, I know I'll turn the channel and find the WTC collapsing. I used to think that we needed to see that footage once a month or so, just to remind us of who we're dealing with. But they have reminded us since then.
In Bali. In Madrid. In Beslan. In London. And always in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These are people that are directly opposed to us in every belief:
To us, every life is sacred. To them, every life is expendable.
To us, liberty is a right. To them, it's a sin.
To us, the law is a voice of reason. To them, it's the voice of Allah.
We cherish our children. They use them as weapons.
We hate brutality. They embrace it.
We operate out of hope. They are motivated by hate.
Our opposites. We'll never understand them. We'll never make them understand us. What we know or believe to be human nature doesn't exist in their case. It's almost like sharing the planet with another humanoid species -- it's hard to believe that we all come from earth. Yet we do, we have to share this place. Unfortunately, it would seem that co-existence is not an option.
I hate them for that lesson. I hate them for the world I must raise my son in. I hate that someday my son may have to deal, face to face, with his opposite -- a boy that was taught to hate liberty and life. A man that will carry no hope in his heart, other than the hope to kill and be a martyr.
Could we ever forget what this date taught us?
Not, I fear, as long as they exist to remind us.
September 11.
You don't even need to add the year, because your mind will automatically fill in that space. Today, I will pray for those still attempting to fill their own empty spaces -- the families and friends of those who died.
There will be the inevitable news stories and, I see, one docu-drama about Flight 93 on Discovery Channel tonight. Though I won't intentionally watch any of it, I know I'll turn the channel and find the WTC collapsing. I used to think that we needed to see that footage once a month or so, just to remind us of who we're dealing with. But they have reminded us since then.
In Bali. In Madrid. In Beslan. In London. And always in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These are people that are directly opposed to us in every belief:
To us, every life is sacred. To them, every life is expendable.
To us, liberty is a right. To them, it's a sin.
To us, the law is a voice of reason. To them, it's the voice of Allah.
We cherish our children. They use them as weapons.
We hate brutality. They embrace it.
We operate out of hope. They are motivated by hate.
Our opposites. We'll never understand them. We'll never make them understand us. What we know or believe to be human nature doesn't exist in their case. It's almost like sharing the planet with another humanoid species -- it's hard to believe that we all come from earth. Yet we do, we have to share this place. Unfortunately, it would seem that co-existence is not an option.
I hate them for that lesson. I hate them for the world I must raise my son in. I hate that someday my son may have to deal, face to face, with his opposite -- a boy that was taught to hate liberty and life. A man that will carry no hope in his heart, other than the hope to kill and be a martyr.
Could we ever forget what this date taught us?
Not, I fear, as long as they exist to remind us.
8.28.2005
My prayers are going South
As I write this, Katrina hasn't made landfall. By the time I get up tomorrow, she will have done most of her damage to NOLA and the shores of Mississippi and Alabama.
This doesn't feel like it's going to turn out well. Especially since I've never EVER read a government weather report where the writer has so thoroughly lost his nut. They pulled it off the NOAA website, but Drudge still had the text:
Oh, my God.
This doesn't feel like it's going to turn out well. Especially since I've never EVER read a government weather report where the writer has so thoroughly lost his nut. They pulled it off the NOAA website, but Drudge still had the text:
Urgent Weather Message from NWS New Orleans
DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED
HURRICANE KATRINA MOST POWERFUL HURRICANE WITH UNPRECEDENTED STRENGTH...RIVALING THE INTENSITY OF HURRICANE CAMILLE OF 1969. MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED.
CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE. HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT. AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION.
PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK. POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.
THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED.
AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR HURRICANE FORCE...OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE...ARE CERTAIN WITHIN THE NEXT 12 TO 24 HOURS. ONCE TROPICAL STORM AND HURRICANE FORCE WINDS ONSET...DO NOT VENTURE OUTSIDE!
Oh, my God.
Back for a little fun
Okay, so I'm a little spotty here. There's been a lot going on, my stomach problems notwithstanding. I've been busier than hell at work, my dog needed surgery (but she's okay now, thank God), and I'm moving. That, plus the fact that my boy turned 7 this month and he has his first day of 2nd grade tomorrow has had me just a little frazzled.
Just a bit.
But over at Sheila's, there was something I couldn't ignore. You go to musicoutfitters.com, you enter the year you graduated high school in the search field, and then grab the top 100 songs from that year. Then you go through the list, bolding the ones you liked, striking out the ones you hated, and leaving the rest alone.
So here it is, in all its tawdry mid-80s glory. I give you 1987:
(And before we further, let me just say this was NOT a banner year for music. Eeesh.)
1. Walk Like An Egyptian, Bangles
2. Alone, Heart
3. Shake You Down, Gregory Abbott
4. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me), Whitney Houston
5. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, Starship -- if I could double-strike this piece of crap, I would
6. C'est La Vie, Robbie Nevil
7. Here I Go Again, Whitesnake -- I'll strike it just because of the video.
8. The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
9. Shakedown, Bob Seger
10. Livin' On A Prayer, Bon Jovi -- HATE it. Hated it from the moment I heard it.
11. La Bamba, Los Lobos
12. Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Wang Chung
13. Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House -- I'm in love with Neil Finn. Forever and always.
14. Always, Atlantic Starr
15. With Or Without You, U2
16. Looking For A New Love, Jody Watley
17. Head To Toe, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
18. I Think We're Alone Now, Tiffany
19. Mony Mony, Billy Idol
20. At This Moment, Billy Vera and The Beaters
21. Lady In Red, Chris De Burgh -- I know. Shame on me.
22. Didn't We Almost Have It All, Whitney Houston
23. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, U2
24. I Want Your Sex, George Michael
25. Notorious, Duran Duran
26. Only In My Dreams, Debbie Gibson
27. (I've Had) The Time Of My Life, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- come on. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
28. The Next Time I Fall, Peter Cetera and Amy Grant
29. Lean On Me, Club Nouveau
30. Open Your Heart, Madonna
31. Lost In Emotion, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
32. (I Just) Died In Your Arms, Cutting Crew
33. Heart And Soul, T'pau
34. You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde
35. Keep Your Hands To Yourself, Georgia Satellites
36. I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me), Aretha Franklin and George Michael
37. Control, Janet Jackson
38. Somewhere Out There, Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
39. U Got The Look, Prince
40. Land Of Confusion, Genesis
41. Jacob's Ladder, Huey Lewis and The News
42. Who's That Girl, Madonna -- what was with the Spanish, anyway?
43. You Got It All, Jets -- my song for a certain soccer player. Damn him.
44. Touch Me (I Want Your Body), Samantha Fox
45. I Just Can't Stop Loving You, Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett
46. Causing A Commotion, Madonna
47. In Too Deep, Genesis
48. Let's Wait Awhile, Janet Jackson
49. Hip To Be Square, Huey Lewis and the News
50. Will You Still Love Me?, Chicago
51. Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac
52. Luka, Suzanne Vega
53. I Heard A Rumour, Bananarama
54. Don't Mean Nothing, Richard Marx
55. Songbird, Kenny G
56. Carrie, Europe
57. Don't Disturb This Groove, System
58. La Isla Bonita, Madonna
59. Bad, Michael Jackson -- oh, pul-leeeze.
60. Sign 'O' The Times, Prince
61. Change Of Heart, Cyndi Lauper
62. Come Go With Me, Expose
63. Can't We Try, Dan Hill
64. To Be A Lover, Billy Idol
65. Mandolin Rain, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
66. Breakout, Swing Out Sister
67. Stand By Me, Ben E. King
68. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Genesis
69. Someday, Glass Tiger
70. When Smokey Sings, ABC
71. Casanova, Levert
72. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine
73. Rock Steady, Whispers
74. Wanted Dead Or Alive, Bon Jovi
75. Big Time, Peter Gabriel -- just for the line "and a snow-white pillow for my big, fat head."
76. The Finer Things, Steve Winwood
77. Let Me Be The One, Expose
78. Is This Love, Survivor
79. Diamonds, Herb Alpert
80. Point Of No Return, Expose
81. Big Love, Fleetwood Mac
82. Midnight Blue, Lou Gramm
83. Something So Strong, Crowded House
84. Heat Of The Night, Bryan Adams
85. Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You, Glenn Medeiros
86. Brilliant Disguise, Bruce Springsteen
87. Just To See Her, Smokey Robinson
88. Who Will You Run To, Heart
89. Respect Yourself, Bruce Willis -- he was so CUTE back then
90. Cross My Broken Heart, Jets -- damn DAMN soccer player
91. Victory, Kool and The Gang
92. Don't Get Me Wrong, Pretenders
93. Doing It All For My Baby, Huey Lewis and The News
94. Right On Track, Breakfast Club
95. Ballerina Girl, Lionel Richie
96. Meet Me Half Way, Kenny Loggins
97. I've Been In Love Before, Cutting Crew
98. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party, Beastie Boys
99. Funkytown, Pseudo Echo
100. Love You Down, Ready For The World
My three favorites of that year were U2, Crowded House, and the Beasties. They're all still my favorites. U2 is, well, the phenomenon that is U2. Crowded House is no more but Neil is out there, making his beautiful pop songs. And the Beasties are 40+ and better than ever.
I knew there'd come a day when I'd hear U2 on the classic rock stations. That the 80s would be far enough away for people to be nostalgic for them. That I'd play these songs in the car and my child would roll his eyes. I knew.
I just didn't know it would happen so fast.
Just a bit.
But over at Sheila's, there was something I couldn't ignore. You go to musicoutfitters.com, you enter the year you graduated high school in the search field, and then grab the top 100 songs from that year. Then you go through the list, bolding the ones you liked, striking out the ones you hated, and leaving the rest alone.
So here it is, in all its tawdry mid-80s glory. I give you 1987:
(And before we further, let me just say this was NOT a banner year for music. Eeesh.)
1. Walk Like An Egyptian, Bangles
2. Alone, Heart
6. C'est La Vie, Robbie Nevil
8. The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
9. Shakedown, Bob Seger
11. La Bamba, Los Lobos
12. Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Wang Chung
13. Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House -- I'm in love with Neil Finn. Forever and always.
14. Always, Atlantic Starr
15. With Or Without You, U2
16. Looking For A New Love, Jody Watley
17. Head To Toe, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
19. Mony Mony, Billy Idol
21. Lady In Red, Chris De Burgh -- I know. Shame on me.
22. Didn't We Almost Have It All, Whitney Houston
23. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, U2
24. I Want Your Sex, George Michael
25. Notorious, Duran Duran
27. (I've Had) The Time Of My Life, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- come on. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
29. Lean On Me, Club Nouveau
30. Open Your Heart, Madonna
31. Lost In Emotion, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
32. (I Just) Died In Your Arms, Cutting Crew
33. Heart And Soul, T'pau
34. You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde
35. Keep Your Hands To Yourself, Georgia Satellites
37. Control, Janet Jackson
38. Somewhere Out There, Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
39. U Got The Look, Prince
40. Land Of Confusion, Genesis
42. Who's That Girl, Madonna -- what was with the Spanish, anyway?
43. You Got It All, Jets -- my song for a certain soccer player. Damn him.
44. Touch Me (I Want Your Body), Samantha Fox
46. Causing A Commotion, Madonna
47. In Too Deep, Genesis
48. Let's Wait Awhile, Janet Jackson
51. Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac
52. Luka, Suzanne Vega
53. I Heard A Rumour, Bananarama
55. Songbird, Kenny G
56. Carrie, Europe
57. Don't Disturb This Groove, System
58. La Isla Bonita, Madonna
60. Sign 'O' The Times, Prince
61. Change Of Heart, Cyndi Lauper
62. Come Go With Me, Expose
63. Can't We Try, Dan Hill
64. To Be A Lover, Billy Idol
65. Mandolin Rain, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
66. Breakout, Swing Out Sister
67. Stand By Me, Ben E. King
68. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Genesis
69. Someday, Glass Tiger
70. When Smokey Sings, ABC
72. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine
73. Rock Steady, Whispers
74. Wanted Dead Or Alive, Bon Jovi
75. Big Time, Peter Gabriel -- just for the line "and a snow-white pillow for my big, fat head."
76. The Finer Things, Steve Winwood
77. Let Me Be The One, Expose
79. Diamonds, Herb Alpert
80. Point Of No Return, Expose
81. Big Love, Fleetwood Mac
82. Midnight Blue, Lou Gramm
83. Something So Strong, Crowded House
84. Heat Of The Night, Bryan Adams
86. Brilliant Disguise, Bruce Springsteen
87. Just To See Her, Smokey Robinson
88. Who Will You Run To, Heart
89. Respect Yourself, Bruce Willis -- he was so CUTE back then
92. Don't Get Me Wrong, Pretenders
94. Right On Track, Breakfast Club
95. Ballerina Girl, Lionel Richie
96. Meet Me Half Way, Kenny Loggins
97. I've Been In Love Before, Cutting Crew
98. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party, Beastie Boys
99. Funkytown, Pseudo Echo
My three favorites of that year were U2, Crowded House, and the Beasties. They're all still my favorites. U2 is, well, the phenomenon that is U2. Crowded House is no more but Neil is out there, making his beautiful pop songs. And the Beasties are 40+ and better than ever.
I knew there'd come a day when I'd hear U2 on the classic rock stations. That the 80s would be far enough away for people to be nostalgic for them. That I'd play these songs in the car and my child would roll his eyes. I knew.
I just didn't know it would happen so fast.
8.04.2005
Health questions answered
I'm the queen of self-diagnosis, but I never saw this one coming.
My sore throat, hoarse voice and chronic cough aren't coming from upstairs at all, but down. It's GERD. Gastroesophogeal Reflux Disease.
In other words: what goes down must come up.
I went to a specialist, finally. I liked Dr. Shipley at first. He came in with one of those Dr. Kildare reflectors on his head.
Yeah. Like that, only not scary.
So talked to me about my symptoms, and I was thinking asthma, allergies, too much secondhand smoke. Then he put the scope up my nose and fed it down my throat so he could snap pictures of my innards. This is not a pleasant experience. Miles would tell you that I have no discernable gag reflex, which is why he loves me so. Dr. Shipley hit crap with the camera that darn near made me hurl across the room. And, as he moved the frickin' thing up and down my main pipe, he kept asking me to vocalize "heeeeeeeee." It came out more like "aaaaaaaakkkkkkkphbttt." All five times.
I crossed my eyes and watched the camera as it came out of my nose. Damn you for laughing, Doctor Shipley!
The glossy pictures of my glossy, pink epiglottis revealed that I have a node on my vocal chords, causing the hoarseness. And now, I can identify the sore throat for what it really is: bile backwash.
My life has turned into a list of NOs:
No coffee
No soda
No spicy food
No large portions
No eating before bedtime
No sleeping on my stomach
No smoking
No beer
No bad habits
The more I consider the list, the more I realize that I could have been driven to this by much more serious problems. Which makes me feel oddly lucky.
It's just GERD. It's not heart disease or diabetes or (I hate to even think it) cancer. It's just bile backwash.
Hell, who knows? I may get healthier, just because I got sick.
My sore throat, hoarse voice and chronic cough aren't coming from upstairs at all, but down. It's GERD. Gastroesophogeal Reflux Disease.
In other words: what goes down must come up.
I went to a specialist, finally. I liked Dr. Shipley at first. He came in with one of those Dr. Kildare reflectors on his head.
Yeah. Like that, only not scary.
So talked to me about my symptoms, and I was thinking asthma, allergies, too much secondhand smoke. Then he put the scope up my nose and fed it down my throat so he could snap pictures of my innards. This is not a pleasant experience. Miles would tell you that I have no discernable gag reflex, which is why he loves me so. Dr. Shipley hit crap with the camera that darn near made me hurl across the room. And, as he moved the frickin' thing up and down my main pipe, he kept asking me to vocalize "heeeeeeeee." It came out more like "aaaaaaaakkkkkkkphbttt." All five times.
I crossed my eyes and watched the camera as it came out of my nose. Damn you for laughing, Doctor Shipley!
The glossy pictures of my glossy, pink epiglottis revealed that I have a node on my vocal chords, causing the hoarseness. And now, I can identify the sore throat for what it really is: bile backwash.
My life has turned into a list of NOs:
No coffee
No soda
No spicy food
No large portions
No eating before bedtime
No sleeping on my stomach
No smoking
No beer
No bad habits
The more I consider the list, the more I realize that I could have been driven to this by much more serious problems. Which makes me feel oddly lucky.
It's just GERD. It's not heart disease or diabetes or (I hate to even think it) cancer. It's just bile backwash.
Hell, who knows? I may get healthier, just because I got sick.
A favorite thing
Occasionally, you'll read a news story that you MUST clip. And keep. And read when things are going particularly rough.
This is mine, from a few years ago. It was in one of those space-filler sidebars in the yokel paper.
There are many, many fabulous, smart-assed comments you could add on your own. But, you'll find the unblemished article, suffused with the cub reporter's glee, is perfect. Just the way it is.
This is mine, from a few years ago. It was in one of those space-filler sidebars in the yokel paper.
Big-rig crashes, killing 107 pigs
HESPERIA, Calif. -- A big-rig hauling 207 pigs careened off fog-shrouded Interstate 15 at the Cajon Summit, killing about half of the shipment of swine.
Trucker Roger Arduin, 52, wasn't hurt. Arduin lost his way in the fog in the southbound lanes of I-15 near Highway 138 early Wednesday and the big-rig went over the embankment, California Highway Patrol officer Kevin Haney said.
Animal control officers planned to dispose of the 107 dead pigs, either at a landfill or by incineration. The survivors continued their journey to a slaughterhouse.
There are many, many fabulous, smart-assed comments you could add on your own. But, you'll find the unblemished article, suffused with the cub reporter's glee, is perfect. Just the way it is.
8.03.2005
I'm baaaaaaack.
For now, that'll have to do. There's so much going on: I'm on a home search, I've been sick for what seems like two months, my dog had a health scare that flattened me for a few days and my little guy is not only turning seven in two weeks, but he's also starting second grade at the end of the month.
I mean, wow!
Here's what I've learned, though: you never EVER ask "what else?" because you'll always get an answer. And it's usually not the one you wanted.
So in the meantime, I'm just chugging away on the ol' crapvertising career and juggling everything else.
I mean, wow!
Here's what I've learned, though: you never EVER ask "what else?" because you'll always get an answer. And it's usually not the one you wanted.
So in the meantime, I'm just chugging away on the ol' crapvertising career and juggling everything else.
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