Monday Again

I didn't go out for an exercise walk, per se, but I did some wandering to the post office, the mall, and then to pick up the kids, which was almost successful except that Kinneret wanted to be carried home, so I ended up taking a taxi from Ephraim's gan - there's no way to carry her and still not have him run over by a car, and she was crying hysterically every time I put her down...

Breakfast: Coffee & Yogurt drink
Snack: 1 Tbsp peanut butter
Lunch: 2 artichokes with mayo dip.
Dinner: 1 can tuna w/ a teaspoon of mayo, 1 can baked beans, 1.5 cups rice. 

Sunday, Week 3

I think this is officially the longest diet I've been on since high school when I lost 20 lbs in about 4 months, except then I just stopped eating and didn't even notice it. After a week or two, I went back to eating whatever was available, but most of what was available didn't appeal to me then. What was great was that I didn't gain it back until college (10 of the freshman 15), and then took it off before the end of my first year (pneumonia).

Since then, the only other time I've lost weight (other than giving birth) was when I went on a medication that had  weight loss as a side effect. I'd love to go back on it, but it has loads of serious side effects, including kidney stones.

Anyway, some things I wanted to share...
First, my brother asked me an important question. He wanted to know what you do if you're having a dream, and just when you get to the good part, there's a commercial, and then another and another... I told him that I download all of my dreams and there are no commercials.

Second, same brother wore a windbreaker to shul. I have to wonder if you wear those when you break wind...

And onto our regularly scheduled program....

Breakfast: Yogurt (fruity)

Morning snack: coffee

Lunch: cottage&gil&banana&strawberry

Snack: coffee

Snack: yogurt

Dinner: 2-3 bowls of chicken soup from Shabbat, 1/2 cup brown rice, 200 grams "steak", 1/2 cup cranberry juice

*the steak was ... well, it ain't a proper steak, but it helped ease the burn of Yaakov making hot dogs and french fries for dinner. I should automatically lose a pound for refusing the fries!

I'm pondering going for a walk now even though it's 9:30... think I might.

Friday & Shabbat Again

Friday:
Breakfast: 2 fruit yogurts + coffee w/ agave & milk
Lunch: 1 yogurt drink (400 kcal)
Afternoon: cottage & yogurt & banana & strawberries
1/2 slice sourdough bread w/ 3% cheese
Dinner: 1.5 chicken breasts, 1 cup rice, soup, 1 slice bread, salad,
----

Shabbat:
Breakfast: coffee w/ agave and milk
Lunch: soup, salad w/ olives, chicken, 3 slices of pomello
3rd meal: 1/4 avocado, 1/3 cup orange juice
Post Shabbat:  cottage & yogurt & banana & strawberries
fireball

Got minimal exercise both days. :(
For those who have asked: a fireball is a hot cinnamon candy. I like them because I usually drink about half a liter of water with each one, so it's kind of a filling snack, despite being a small piece of candy.

Ten Interesting Things I've Done (That I'm Willing to Admit to)

In the interest of writing something that isn't a list of foods... Here's a list of interesting things I've done.

1. Was a magician's assistant. I helped K-Mar, the Discount Magician (of Letterman fame) set up before and clean up after his act one evening at a resort hotel in the Catskills
2. Got my picture in the paper for being one of the top 4 readers in a kids' summer reading contest.
3. Worked in a falafel/shwarma stand cutting vegetables. I did it for a week on a volunteer basis and for a long time afterward, whenever I'd finish classes for the day, I'd come to the place and do their dishes and get a free shawarma.
4. Ran a 'recording studio' which did all of the recording for an animation that was over 10 minutes long and had at least six actors. I did this as part of an otherwise terribly boring job. All recordings were done on my work computer, which had a special sound card and microphone.
5. Jumped out of a plane. Well, that anyone can pay to do, but it was incredible.
6. Am featured in an English textbook (pictures and recorded interview) for jumping out of a plane.
7. Participated in a blind taste test of chocolate (isn't that everyone's dream?!)
8. Have been far enough north in summer that it never got dark. (Finland)
9. Have ridden a horse bareback (as a kid. I had friends who had a horse. They took us to the stables late one evening and there was no one there, so the saddle was locked up. We rode anyway, though it was really slow and for a short time.)
10. Appeared on stage (and talked) for audiences of several hundred people (as the juggler's assistant). 

I'm not tagging anyone specifically, but it would be cool if other people would do this too.

Thursday Again

Today, I had Tai Chi class. I walked there and back, but pretty much the shortest possible way, and I stopped and chatted with friends on the way back, so exercise today was.... well, weak.

Food:
Breakfast:
Coffee w/ sugar and milk
Yogurt drink (about 550 calories)

Lunch:
fish stir fry (1 fillet of sole, 1 pepper, mushrooms, onion, cabbage, soy sauce, 1 tbsp olive oil)

Snack:
1 fireball
1 coffee w/ sugar and milk

Dinner:
1 sandwich w sliced pastrama (turkey junk, not pastrami) on light bread.
1 can baked beans
1 bowl lentil soup

A note to everyone who thinks I should eat more lunch... I'm not really that hungry at lunch time. There must be a blood sugar thing or something, but I get ravenously hungry around 7pm. I tried to stave it off with a cup of coffee around 6ish, but I think I hit too late.

Wednesday, Week 2

Today, I was really tired. Exercise didn't really happen, though I walked down 7 flights of stairs taking K & E home from gan.

Breakfast:
Coffee
Cottage cheese/gil/banana/strawberry

Lunch
2 yogurts

Snack
Fireball

Dinner
drumstick & thigh of chicken
~2 cups brown rice
1 cup of string beans
1/4 apple

Week 2: Tuesday, I Like Lentil Soup!

I woke up late and immediately left the house, so I missed breakfast (except for coffee). I didn't get in any exercise today, and I'm immensely irritated to find out that Kinneret needs to get glasses. She apparently has astigmatism in her left eye, to a fairly serious degree. This means the glasses will be very expensive, and since she's 3, there will be many many pairs of these... yuck!

Onto the food portion of our program:

breakfast: coffee w/ milk and nutrasweet
lunch: cottage cheese/gil/banana/strawberry
dinner: lentil soup, recipe courtesy of K.B. (thanks!), with beef. - 3-4 bowls.
extra: atomic fireball
water: at least 1.5 liters

Again, I made a healthy supper but ate too much of it... I probably need to eat something in the late afternoon - around 3:30 or 4 to keep me from getting ravenous at supper time.

And today's entry comes with a video

Monday Monday, Can't Trust that Day

I started out well today, but dinner was a bit of a mess... I went for a 45 minute walk, which mitigates some of the damage I guess.

Breakfast: 
Coffee
The usual cottage cheese/gil/banana/strawberry thing

Lunch
2 fruit yogurts

Dinner
1.5 chicken breasts (on the bone, including wing from one, including skin)
About 3 cups of brown rice with onion and mushrooms (that's where I lost control. I meant to only have one cup... but I was so hungry. I actually had to leave the table and go to the other room and call someone to get myself to stop eating. looks like 600 calories just for the rice... EEP!)

Sunday, Week 2

Today was a bad day for exercise because of the rain.

Breakfast:
Coffee w/ milk and agave syrup.
oatmeal w fruit, nougat, and honey. This was at Re:Bar where they'll put toppings on oatmeal or yogurt for you. I will not repeat this as I never got un-hungry between breakfast and lunch.

Lunch:
Stir-fry: 1 red pepper, 1 green pepper, 1/2 onion, mushrooms, tofu, 1 tablespoon canola oil, lots of soy sauce and ginger

Dinner:
2 corned beef sandwiches on low-calorie bread. (about 400 calories total, now I wish Yaakov had brought back more of the corned beef...It's 6% fat, which is completely acceptable. There's one pack left - and a pack is about 175 grams.)

Made an appointment to see the dietitian, but the first available appointment is April 1st... oh well.

Friday & Shabbat

Friday, I didn't manage to get in exercise.

Breakfast: Coffee w/ milk and sugar
Lunch: cottage cheese, gil, banana, strawberries, raspberries (frozen)
Snack: bowl of vegetable soup
Dinner: 1.5 chicken breasts w/ skin (shake'n'bake), salad w/ olives, 1/2 cup rice
other: celery sticks, 1 fireball, 1/2 can baby corn (amended to add)

Shabbat
Breakfast: Coffee w/ agave and milk, 2 yogurts
Lunch: 2 bowls vegetable soup, salad w/ 1 tomato, cucumber 2 tablespoons olives + 100 grams salami
Dessert: 1/2 pomelit

Now I'm going for a walk, and then I'll have cottage cheese+gil+fruit.
Walk was 45 minutes, mostly at a good pace.
Also ate 1/4 apple.

Tomorrow I weigh myself. Praying to see at least one kilo lost.

Thursday - day 5

Thursday was a good day for exercise. I walked to my tai chi class and even took the long way back.

Breakfast:
coffee
cottage cheese, gil, banana, strawberry + agave syrup.

Lunch:
2 vegetarian cutlets (the non-breaded kind)
1 tomato
1 cucumber
1/2 avocado

Snack
30 calorie chocolate popsicle (tofutti brand, sugar free, no fat)

Dinner
sushi -
bowl of miso soup
2 full rolls (16 pieces) + 2 nigeri
drank soda water with it.

So far, the scale isn't showing anything, but I know it takes time.

Wednesday, Day 4

No exercise today, because I had a major muscle spasm in my back so bad that even breathing was hard. Tomorrow is Tai Chi, though.

Breakfast
Cup of coffee w/ sugar & milk

Lunch
cottage cheese + Gil (plain yogurt) + strawberries + 1 banana + 2 tsp agave syrup

Snack
1/2 apple (this happens because Ephraim eats the other half)

Dinner
3/4 cup couscous + soup + a bit of meatloaf + a thick slice of salami (couscous soup is now finished, will have to make more, I guess, to use up the rest of the couscous, meatloaf is also finished)

other - 1 fireball.

To answer some of the many comments - yes, fireballs are sugar, but they help me drink. I usually drink about 1/2 a liter with the fireball.

I do track my water, kinda. I usually drink from a cup that's 650 ml, so every "cup" is about half a liter (I don't fill it all the way to the top) I go through 3-4 a day these days.

The reason I've been exhausted is that Ephraim has taken to getting up 5x a night. It doesn't matter what I eat - it won't make up for the lack of sleep. I am currently discussing options with his doctor. Today, I missed breakfast because I woke up at 11:00 trying to make up for lost sleep.

The reason I'm trying to eat very little and space out the food so much is that I'm still in the detoxing phase. I'm trying to shrink my appetite as much as possible now.

Cereal was a one-time glitch. I'm doing cottage cheese + gil + fruit instead, as it's much lower glycemic index overall and lower calories for a lot more food. I've moved to 3% cottage cheese. I won't go lower than that, because I think a little fat is a necessity. I added strawberries because it adds more stuff and flavor with a minimum amount of calories.

One rule I'm trying to keep to is as much as possible, to eat foods under 100 calories per 100 grams. At dinner, I eat a normal portion of normal-er food, though, because otherwise it gets to be impossible. Hence the meatloaf and salami (though salami is actually evil - the 3 bites I had were probably close to 200 calories.)

The good news is that today was a much easier day. I'm hoping that I'll be able to settle in and keep to it long-term.

Tomorrow I hit goal 1 which is keeping to it for 5 days. Reward is sushi at Atza, because sushi is decent diet-wise, but wicked on the wallet... 

Day 2-3

Monday, continued.
So I ended up eating a little more meat than I meant to. Probably about 200 grams in all. I was ok about the couscous - ate about 3/4 of a cup and lots and lots of veggies. Then when the kids were asleep, I had another bowl of veggie soup without the couscous.

Tuesday
Haven't exercised yet today. I'm trying to work up the energy.
Breakfast
1 cup coffee w/ milk and 1 teaspoon sugar
1 bowl quaker oat squares (it was the end of the box. I won't be eating those again.)
Snack
1/2 apple
Dinner
2 slices of meatloaf (I'd guess about 150-200 grams)
3 bites (less than one regular piece) potato kugel
1/2 cup couscous
1 big bowl soup w/ veggies (pumpkin, carrot, onion, kolrabi/rutabega, jerusalem artichoke, zucchini)
other: 
1 atomic fireball.

I'm trying something called the shangrila diet. It says that you should eat oil between meals to convince your body that taste and calories are unrelated so that you'll stop loading up on good tasting foods. I'm not 100% convinced it works, but I've only had one tablespoon of oil so far. I'll see what happens. It's supposed to reduce appetite and make weight come off faster. Either of those would be good for me.

Yesterday was a really hard day. Today was better, though I slept for a good chunk today.

Day 1

Sunday, day 1.
I worked out with the Kinect for about 15-20 minutes, calorie burn - 100 calories.

breakfast: bagel with 2 eggs.
lunch: chicken quarter (breast) and 1 apple
snack: 2 atomic fireballs with about 1 liter of water.
dinner: 2 fruit yogurts.

-----
Today, Monday day 2,
Gave up on the Kinect and did a 40-minute walk instead. I'm listening to Stephen King's "Under the Dome" on my mp3. Very engaging.
Breakfast - cottage cheese + 3% yogurt (gil) + a banana + 1 teaspoon sugar
snack - 1 large carrot
lunch - tilapia fillet fried in olive oil, soy sauce, 1 tomato, 1 cucumber, 1/2 avocado.
eating an atomic fireball now. I figure they're not so bad because I keep one in my mouth for 20-30 minutes and usually drink plenty of water with it.

Planned for dinner: meatballs + couscous + vegetable soup. Will have to be really careful about portions, since couscous and meatballs are not exactly low calorie. 

Today I Start

n

This isn't who I'm supposed to be:

And these are the reasons why I can't be like this:

Now I need to remind myself of this about 200 times a day instead of eating... and in just one year from now, I will be somewhere near where I need to be.

I guess one has to be pretty desperate to post this on their blog... actually, I am. The realization has been dawning on me slowly, but really, what's happened to me is absolutely awful. I can't keep living like this.

It started with the thyroid, but it got worse because I let it. 

So... hope you'll all come along for the ride.

Who Read Yesterday's Post to My Kids?

This morning was the exact opposite of yesterday. Ephraim went to the bathroom by himself, without being told. Kinneret needed only a gentle reminder. Nothing got on the floor. No nail polish, no cookies, nothing! Kinneret didn't ask for a bottle, which is a real achievement, since we threw out the bottles last week. Kinneret ate a carrot for pre-breakfast. Nobody asked for lollipops or gum. Ephraim didn't complain when I put his lens in. The kids got dressed with only the mildest of protests, and I didn't let it faze me.

Kinneret even gave me extra hugs and kisses when I dropped her off at gan. If every morning were like today, I think I'd be the happiest mom in the world.

Add into the mix that Yaakov's plane is due to land in two minutes, I have a new project to work on, and I spent the morning with a friend, and today is a pretty excellent day!

It's Potty Time, Let's Grab Some Floor Rags.

Both of my children are officially toilet trained. This should make me happy, but instead, it means that I'm cleaning the floor a lot. I mean an awful lot. At least every day. Often 2-3 times a day, which is quite a big considering that they're out of the house most of the day.

I think Ephraim's regressed because Yaakov is out of the country. I hope when Yaakov comes back (tomorrow! YAY!), it'll improve. In the meantime, I'm just... frustrated.

On other fronts, Kinneret and I have a personality conflict these days. She is constantly testing the limits and I'm constantly losing my temper. I often feel like the worst mother ever. Today I yelled at her for telling me to make her aruchat eser. It really drives me nuts when she tells me what to do. To be fair, I was awakened this morning by the smell of nail polish, which Ephraim had spread all over the floor. It doesn't exactly give one the best start possible...

Ephraim has developed some really strong feelings about pretty much everything. Last night, he insisted on going to sleep with a large wooden toy in his bed... go figure. About that I didn't argue, but I got pretty annoyed when I gave him a cookie and he threw it on the floor, and I don't love that when he's finished eating, he overturns his plate or bowl instead of just stepping away from the table or pushing it back or some other less messy signal.

They're both so cute and so sweet and they're growing every day, and I feel like I'm so frustrated and stressed from cleaning up accidents, preventing disasters, trying to get them to listen, etc that I'm not enjoying any of it.

Yaakov thinks he'll have to go out of the country yet again in another week or two. I keep reminding myself that it means air miles and per diems and shopping, but honestly, I really don't like being a single parent.

I have lots of support from all around me, but in the mornings, when I'm tired from middle-of-the-night wake-ups that can't be ignored because Ephraim wanders the house, and the dog is desperate for a walk I can't give until the kids are dressed, and I'm washing the floor repeatedly, I don't feel very supported. I feel very very alone, and not very happy either.

I apologize for the negative post, but sometimes, being a parent is just.... not all positive.