8 Mondays before the big day.

Yesterday, I woke up with my neck swollen to approximately the size of North Dakota, but when I looked in the mirror, it looked normal. Strange how mirrors lie that way.

So I went to the dr, and he said I have sinusitis. How that made my neck swell is beyond me, but he gave me antibiotics, so if I have strep or something, it should be on its way out too. He gave me roughly enough large pills to fill one of those ball pits that kids like to play in, and told me to take them.

So I took some pills, had some hot chocolate and chocolate cake (it's not fair that the dr's office is next door to a bakery).

Then I went home and slept until some people walked into my house. They were short people, and they took the four-footed person outside, so that was nice, especially since I told my brother-in-law to tell my niece she could have the day off. She apparently came straight from the school bus... so there she was. It was actually a really nice thing not to have to go out again...

So I got back into the best place for healing... my bed - and my mom called. We have a hall reserved for the date we want!

Around 4, I woke up with serious munchies, so I got some foodies and then I went online to see what's happening in computer-land... Scott was online, and he convinced me that I should (sometime) go to Jerusalem Jugglers. Well, no time like the present, right?

So I called Yaakov and asked him if he wanted me to come, and he said yeah, and I printed out a map and got on a bus and went there. Got a little stuck, b/c the venue is on the street where Ehud Olmert lives, and he's pretending to be prime minister right now, so whenever he needs to blow his nose, the street shuts down for security reasons.

There weren't a lot of people there. Just a few kids and a security guard, and, of course Yaakov. The kids were pretty cool. They're really good jugglers. There was a kid who was maybe 14 doing clubs, and I was in awe (okay, also a little jealous). Yaakov and I did some passing, and he started working with me on clubs, and after I got hit in the face enough times, he started teaching me to balance a club on my nose. I'm not so good at that either.

It was fun being there, and it was nice seeing Yaakov even if we are both sick still. I hate saying goodbye to him at the end of the evening. At least I know that it's temporary. In just two months, we'll be staying together at the end of the evening. Just two months. I'm so lucky!

t.c.

picture up

the picture isn't great, but it's up on yaakov-and-leah.com
It's okay. There will be better pictures. all in good time.

More information....

Everyone wants to know all about Yaakov, which is pretty awesome.


It's supposed to be really easy to put pictures up with blogger, but I don't have the patience to figure it out right now.

I noticed a lot of responses from a whole bunch of new readers to the last post. Welcome aboard, especially Yaakov's dad.

On Wednesday night, we went out to eat. We left the restaurant, and we were walking towards the bus stop and he turned around and said "Will you marry me?" and I said "yes."

Anyway. It appears that the wedding will be in the last week of March, so those of you across the ocean who are planning on coming...

We haven't found a venue yet, but we're confident that something must be open.

If anyone knows of any nice places (mehadrin) in or around Jerusalem, let me know... we're expecting 150-200 people. Also - if anyone knows a good bridal dress Gemach or a good band, that could be helpful. We have our photographer booked. We are also looking for a good jeweler in Jerusalem who can set a diamond, and can be trusted to return the same diamond we've brought in.

In other news, it was a quiet Shabbat. Yaakov was at his place in Jerusalem, and I was home in Modiin. My parents and I went to a sheva brachot. (literally 7 blessings - a sheva brachot is a meal in which there is a newly married couple - in the first 7 days- and if 10 men or more are present, then they make the marriage blessings again.) It was really fun, and I got a huge amount of "mazel tov"s and a huge number of people sang to me... I *LOVE* being a bride. I think I'm turning into a serious bridezilla.... oops.

I have to remember that the point of this is to get to be with Yaakov always and to build a family with him. It's amazing how easy it is to lose sight of what's important with all the excitement.

I feel truly blessed, because not only am I marrying someone who I love with all my heart, but I'm also getting to have a whole lot of fun on the way :).

A good week to everyone,
t.c.

YAY!!!!!

Yaakov asked me to marry him.
I said yes.

more to come.
t.c.

One Down, One to Go.

Yaakov's back at work today.
That makes one of us.
I went in yesterday and spent most of the day sleeping with my head on the keyboard.
needless to say, my boss adored that, then yelled at me for drinking coke.

I don't know any other way to stay awake other than caffiene and sugar
so whatever.

Still sick.
Wish I could stay in bed another couple days without worrying about stuff.

I'm feeling very down.

At least Yaakov still likes me.

t.c.

2 for 2, Dr Phil

Dr Phil said you shouldn't marry someone until you've nursed them through the flu (you having deja vu?) So now, Yaakov has had the same experience... I've been down with flu and high fever and all that since Tuesday evening.

My boss yelled at me and threatened to fire me, so I fully expect to be fired on Sunday, and I don't really care. There are advantages to the job, but there are also big disadvantages, so whatever comes, I'll deal. I'm sort of debating moving to freelance, but that has disadvantages as well. So I guess I'll see what comes, and deal with it when it arrives.

In the meantime, I just hope this flu goes away before Shabbat, b/c my brother and his kids are going to be here for shabbat, and I really don't want to have to be quarantined!

oh well.
t.c.

Much better!

Yaakov woke me up in the middle of the night to talk.
It was really nice. He hadn't really talked to me since he got sick, which is part of the reason I was feeling so...whatever I was feeling.

We didn't talk much, because he was still pretty sick, but it was nice to know that he wanted to talk to me.

At work, there's actual work for me to do, so that's also an improvement. Plus I have homework to do for class and there's class at 5, so I can leave at 4, so all in all, things are much better.

How many ends does one candle have?

O is doing very well considering the trauma she went through this weekend, and Yaakov is really being the perfect patient, so why am I feeling so burnt out?

I feel like being out of the house is just shy of criminal. O went to work today, and she asked if I was in the mood to rent a dvd, so I met her at her work at the end of the day and we got some groceries and a dvd together.

Got home and made yaakov dinner. he wanted soft-boiled eggs & toast. I wanted to make pasta for me, so I got the water boiling, and then O asked if I would make brown rice pasta for her cuz when she made it for herself, it got all mushy, so sure, no prob. except I broke a pot last week, meaning I don't have enough pots to boil eggs and brown rice pasta and regular pasta...
So I made her pasta first, and then mine, and made Yaakov's eggs in parallel, and used my sandwich maker to make him toast. (don't have a toaster).

And O's mom came over and brought O's dog, which meant Poofy had a tantrum, but he recovers quickly, so no biggie.

I didn't even have to walk him, cuz O came to the rescue and took him out. So basically, I'm not having it that rough. I'm just being fussy. And I feel completely burnt out.

The worst of it is, I'd actually be worse off if either of them wasn't here. At least I feel in control and like everything is reasonably ok when I have them both in my sight.

When did I become mother to the known universe? why am I like this? Why can't I just let go?
And why can't my boss see that I have no work now, and I'd do the company more good taking a couple days of unpaid vacation???

It will get better. Until then, there's both chocolate brownie and cookies & cream in the freezer...

t.c.

Juggler blog.

I just discovered that our shadchan has started a blog. It's called "I'd Rather be Juggling."
Very cute.

The rumor is that he quit his job to be a full-time juggler. That's pretty awesome. He's a pretty awesome juggler. Plus, who knows, so far his shadchan skills seem to be pretty good :).

Yaakov looked a bit more alive this morning, but he must have fallen back asleep because he's not answering his phone now.

Oh well, I hope he's okay. His fever was lower this morning. I'm pretty sure he has a virus, so there's not much point to him going to a doctor. It just needs sleep, heat, the usual. I suspect he just got a harder hit of what I had last week.

I guess we'll know next week if I'm out for the count...

t.c.

Okay, Dr Phil, got it.

Dr Phil says that you shouldn't decide to marry someone until you've nursed them through the flu.
I can put a check next to that box...

Yaakov is really feeling miserable. He slept all day, and when I came home, I made him a cup of tea. He's burning up with fever. (39.5 and if you speak farenheit, you can convert it yourself.)

I wanted to send him to my parents' house so that I could be sure he would be taken care of tomorrow too, but he appears to be a little intimidated by them, so he ended up sleeping in my guest room. (actually, I was going to sleep in the guest room, but he decided that he'd like to... whatever... it means that I can use the computer now.

I made him toast and soft-boiled eggs, and I brought it to him in bed and I brought him a cup and basin so he could do netilat yadayim (ritual washing of the hands before bread). He ate it, so at least he's gotten a little bit of nutrition into him other than lemon juice.

I hate the powerless feeling of... there's only so much I can do. It's so frustrating. I want to be G-d so I can fix everything.

heh. at least I have a good reason for wanting the power... right?

Anyway, one note for our shadchan - On Friday afternoon, Yaakov and I juggled together. It took a few tries, but we were able to pass pretty reasonably after a while. It was really fun. I haven't successfully passed in a long long time, and I had a really easy time getting a rhythm with him, which was really awesome. For non-jugglers, yes, juggling can be intimate. Juggling is kind of zen - like everything is in the proper rhythm, and sharing that rhythm with someone else is special.

that's it for tonight,
t.c.

Jim Crow is Alive and Well in Beitar

Apologies to Megama, who put out the album God is Alive and Well in Jerusalem.
This Shabbat, I was in Beitar Illit (or Elite, or something), a Charedi community in the Gush Etzion area.

Yaakov has family (distant cousins) and friends (closer friends) in Beitar, and we went together.

Before we left Jerusalem, we stopped off to get Rugalach to take to the families we were staying with (& eating with) We also picked up bagels, lox, and cream cheese for Sam & Ofi (& family)

On the way to Beitar, we stopped in at my brother Sam's house, and we saw his kids. They're so cute. Yaakov was really great with them, especially with Menachem and Yonatan, but it was really nice to see him interacting so well with all of the kids. We also saw Ofi, Sam's wife, and their Shabbat guests, who turned up without Sam expecting them. Sam was pretty good about it, making it clear that just because he hadn't known they were coming wasn't any reason why there should be a problem.

Then Sam drove us to Beitar, and we went to Yaakov's cousins' house, which is where I stayed. As soon as we arrived in their house, we realized we had forgotten the rugalach at Sam & Ofi's but it was too late to get them, so our hosts had to survive without them. I had brought wine for both hosts, so at least we didn't come empty-handed.

We went to shul (synagogue) a little too late, and we missed Kabbalat Shabbbat, my favorite part of the service :(

At dinner, we ate at a house where they split the men and women into two different tables. Very considerately, they put me next to Yaakov, on the seam between the two tables.

The women's table was also sort of in the kitchen, which made the whole experience less pleasant. I was also sort of expected to make conversation only with the women, which I'm just not capable of. I hope I didn't make too bad an impression, because I was talking to the men (gasp), especially Yaakov and the youngest of the kids at the house Yaakov stayed at. The kid is very cute and very cuddly, and was climbing on my lap and on Yaakov's lap. It was nice. Then they sang zmirot, special Sabbath songs, and I had to not sing, because women aren't allowed to sing in front of men in the Charedi world. Among the "modern orthodox," the general rule is that women aren't allowed to sing alone in front of men, but if everyone's singing and you can't pick out the individual voice, it's not a problem, meaning that if a few people are singing, then I can sing and no one will think about it at all. It was really depressing not to be allowed to sing.

After dinner, Yaakov walked me back to his cousins' house (where I was staying.) We stayed in their living room and talked until we got to the full-babble point at which the conversation keeps itself going and neither of us is alert enough to be aware of what we're saying. :) It was nice.

Shabbat morning, Yaakov woke me up and we went to shul together. It was weird. They sing different melodies from what I'm used to, and again, I'm not allowed to sing, even when I do know the melodies.

Then we went back to Yaakov's cousins, and Yaakov made Kiddush (the blessing on the wine) for me. That was really special, because that's something a husband does for his wife...

We ate lunch and I was going to go for a nap, but the 17 year old (girl) and I stayed downstairs to keep the 5 year old (boy) company so her mom could take a nap. We talked for a while. She's a really incredible girl. I don't remember everything we talked about, but she said a lot of positive things about Yaakov, which is never a bad thing :).

Then I went for a (way too short) nap.

Then we went to Yaakov's friends for Seudah Shlishit (3rd meal). The meal took forever, & I was dying to get out of there.

After Shabbat, we took the bus back to Jerusalem, and there... they have Jim Crow laws. Yaakov and I sat in the middle of the bus, across the aisle from each other (heaven forbid we sit next to each other!) and then a woman came and yelled at me to head for the back of the bus. I was steaming angry. I did move, but I was seething inside, especially since the 'empty seat' she had waiting for me was next to someone who had completely overflowed to the next seat. I was seething most of the ride to Jerusalem.

When I got home... I had another disaster waiting for me.

O, my roommate, had brought home a golden retriever (dog) Thursday night, claiming it followed her home. I was very displeased because Poofy did not like him.

On Friday morning, she took him to a vet to be scanned, but he didn't have a chip. I made her take him to work with her and tie him outside of her work, rather than leave him at home with Poofy. Since I was going away, I made her promise to keep the dogs away from each other, which she did.

Saturday morning, she took the retriever out, and let him go in the hopes that he would find his way home. He stayed near her in the park and played with other dogs. Then a Yorkie (she thinks) came up and sniffed the dog, who responded by grabbing it by the neck and shaking it until it died. O tried to get the dog to let go, but it was too late.

So O took the dog to the police station, and now she (& probably me too) is under investigation).

I hope she won't be sued.
I don't think I can be blamed in any way, but it's really scary to think that Poofy was alone in the house with this animal.

So this was pretty awful.

This morning, really early, Yaakov came to my house because his plumbing is messed up and his apartment smells awful and he's sick so he's not going to work.
so I let him have my bed, and I bunked out on the couch and listened to him cough. I gave him cough medicine and tea, & I left my messenger signed in there so I can send him messages if he's awake.

I really didn't want to go to work with everything falling apart, but I really had no choice (ie I called in and my boss said that I have to come or he'll fire me.)

So..
that's the triLcat world today
bye all.
t.c.

An Apology

Apologies to Biur Chametz, whose listing didn't work right because it was missing a quotation mark. I do like your blog B, and I did MEAN to list it. Sorry 'bout that.

Back on the Wagon, I hope.

Stephen King says in On Writing that when he was an alcoholic, seeing someone sip at a whiskey was hard for him.
He relates something like this:
A man walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor that he has an alcohol problem. The doctor asks "how much do you drink?" and the man says "all of it."

And in The Shining, he talks a lot about being on the wagon, falling off the wagon, the whole shebang.

Anyway, I'm not an alcoholic, but I apparently have a serious sugar addiction (see, you were wondering where the heck I was going with this, but if you stick with me long enough, we'll get there.)

So, starting today, I'm going off of sugar. Of course, I picked the wrong day to go back on herbalife, since it's a fast day, but ... I completely forgot. It snuck up on me.

So, I had my herbalife shake this morning, and it's now three hours later, which means I can have a piece of fruit soon.

I'm going to do this, for a number of reasons:
1. As Yaakov said to me last night on the phone, it's my health.
2. I tried on the cutest shirt yesterday, and it was the biggest size they had and it was too small, and I WANTED that shirt, but it looked awful on my waist.

So... that's the story, I'm back on herbalife, and I'm going to take off some weight. so no more ice cream for me.

On a totally different subject, juggler would like his status here clarified, and rightly so. He's not just a juggler (although he is a very good one, certainly the best I've ever seen). He's also a friend of mine and Yaakov's, and he's the one who introduced Yaakov to me. And if you're reading this blog, then you have a pretty good idea as to how much that means to me.. so thank you so much, Scott.

Anything more I say about that is just going to get all mushy, so ... assume extreme mushiness filled with gratitude, and then I don't have to leave myself as susceptible to ridicule...

Also, a thank you to my mom for taking me clothes shopping last night. I really appreciate it, and I really like all the clothes you bought me!

t.c.

Lemony Fresh UGH!

I don't like the smell of furniture polish!
If any of you were pondering what to get me for some event or other, furniture polish wouldn't be it.

I find having my office cleaned somewhat akin to having dental work done, only without the dentist's pleasant banter.

My mom bought me three new shirts and a skirt. The skirt is really nice, simple, but nice, and two of the shirts are great. The third shirt will have to go back :(. It's too low cut to wear on its own, and I tried it with three different shirts under it and it continued to look funny, so I gave up.

Here are my deep thoughts for the day... to most people these will seem pretty trivial, but for anyone who has really dealt with depression, it bears repeating until you internalize it:

1. Depression is not a natural or permanent state.
2. Happiness does not need a proximal cause. (this is a corollary of #1).

Spent yesterday evening with Yaakov. Tonight is his juggling night and tomorrow is my course, so I will be seeing him Wednesday. Seems like a long time, but maybe tonight I'll get to sleep early, and that would be a good thing. Who knows, if I go to sleep early enough, I might even get to the POOL tomorrow, which would be absolutely awesome.

new cool blog to read: Typette. She's a half-Japanese chick who just seems very cool.

all de best,
t.c.

Once Upon a Time

I ordered an html book. Today it finally arrived. My sister says it's a really awesome book. I haven't had a chance to look inside yet.

Anyway, had a very quiet Shabbat with my parents, which was great, because I was really feeling yucky. I hate having colds :(.

Last night, I saw Corpse Bride, which I thought was interesting, but pretty high on gross-out factor. If you like seeing people's eyeballs fall out, it's a great movie... If you prefer to watch people who are alive and kicking, it might be skippable. Yaakov thought it was cute, but I guess he just doesn't mind being grossed out as much as I do. There were also spiders and I'm a bit phobic about spiders.

Ice cream update: I haven't had any yet today, nor did I have any yesterday. AND, I'm planning on having meat for lunch, which means that the chances I'll have ice cream later are pretty small.

I guess that's it for now.

t.c.

Home again, home again.

It's nice to be home.
I went out to try to get stuff done with only partial success.
The dog needed his shots, and I wanted to switch vets, so done... he's all innoculated.
I needed to pick up a replacement credit card.
That wasn't as easy.
In the end, it seems the credit card was returned to the credit card company and will be re-sent to me next week.
oh well.

In other news, it is now noon and I haven't had any ice cream. that's a record for the week, I think!

I don't know how I got so deeply addicted, but I just never stop thinking about ice cream. And I couldn't be stuck on something cheap... no, it's gotta be the Minter Wonderland (Ben & Jerry's) I swear they slip some amazing drug into there that makes it hyper-addictive.

My cold is still bad, so I'm going to go back to bed and sleep it out a bit more and hope for less crazy dreams this time. (I had a dream that I was hitting someone with a hammer and making slurpees on Yom Kippur, while washing my dog with blue laundry soap, which I also accidentally fed him in his yogurt. Surprisingly, I woke up and found that the dog is not only not blue, but he's still unwashed as well...)

Shabbat Shalom all,
t.c.

Downgraded.

You know how sometimes they downgrade a storm from hurricane to tropical storm?

So I've downgraded my medical condition from 'possible strep' to 'cold.'

My throat isn't hurting, there's still no fever, and my nose is stuffy, so this is a cold. Now I'm really happy that I didn't make a big fuss and go to the dr and all that.

Onto other subjects.
Yaakov and I aren't going to Beitar for Shabbat, as the place where I was supposed to stay said it wasn't convenient for them and the place where he was supposed to stay, the lady of the house isn't feeling well.

Since tonight is juggling night, and Juggler is also under the weather, there's no chance of conning Juggler into driving Yaakov out to see me, and there's not much point to my heading out to Jerusalem since I would be very late for the juggling club, and I would have to head back after a fairly short time. So that leaves me with Saturday night for seeing Yaakov. Somehow it seems like it's getting harder to go two days without seeing him. The more I know him, the more I like him.

Anyway, I think I'll have another cup of coffee and another sudafed and see if I can get something useful done today.

bye all.
t.c.

Very Strange.

Apparently people who are subscribed via email can also see my drafts...which I'm glad I found out how I did...it was a free-writing sample from my class last night, and it was about the history of the internet, so whoever read it was probably bored.

so if you're subscribed via email...that wasn't actually meant to show up in my blog. apologies.

t.c.

The Mobile Petri Dish Strikes Again

I have a really bad sore throat, but no fever, which means
1. i can't really take the day off of work, and
2. if I go to the dr, he won't give me antibiotics.

So... lotsa tea. Anyone have an extra bowl of chicken soup?

t.c.

My Personality.

I don't have much to say, so I figure I'll just include results from my personality test.

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Frustration

My job is at a slow point right now. I know that tomorrow, there will be plenty of work to do, but right now, I'm just... boreddddddddddddddddddd. There's stuff to do, but it's seriously monotonous. I mean seriously, how many times can I write a glossary for the same narrow range of terms.

It's a little sad how fast Channuka went this year, but I can't say it wasn't a good holiday. It was great!

I got to see my neices and nephews a lot. Whoo. I just had a cool idea. Yaakov wants me to come meet his friends/family in Beitar, so maybe I'll be able to take him through Sam & Ofi's before we go to Beitar. That would be so cool. _AND_ Sam would HAVE to give me my shirt... He promised me a YouNeverCall.com t-shirt, because I used to be a sales representative there.

Anyway... I should get back to work.
t.c.

Snips and .... and puppy dog tails.

Yaakov bought me a snail!!!!

Actually it's a fuzzy pillow that's sort of snail-shaped.

But it's cute & it made me happy!

He also bought me a big fuzzy blanket, which is nice. It means that even though I can't cuddle him, I can hug and be wrapped in something that he gave me - which is not nearly as good, but still much much better than nothing.

I haven't written since Thursday, so there's a lot to catch up on...
First, I didn't write much about Wednesday, but my mom did, here. Not only did she write about it. She also posted pictures.

So that was Wednesday. Thursday, I thought that I wasn't going to see Yaakov, but his juggler friend brought him out to Modiin, & hung out with us for a while.

Friday was Hadas's bat mitzva! I can't believe it. I took PSATs the day before she was born. That was approximately 3 months ago ;) Really. About two months ago, she took her first steps, and a few weeks ago, she learned how to talk. And somewhere in there, she learned how to rollerblade, to read in Hebrew and English, to build websites, to do algebra, play chess, play bridge. Somehow that chubby-faced child who I remember smiling and running to me when I came to pick her up from nursery school lost her baby face, grew taller and thinner, and is already beginning to look like a teenager. She can cook meals for her family, read books written for adults, and take care of her baby sister, who reminds me so much of Hadas when I first met her.

Again, thanks to my mom for the PICTURES.

Yaakov started meeting my family. So far, everyone likes him, which isn't surprising, because he's great :)

In other news, work is going to be interesting today! Big mess, and our main site is down...

Gonna be fun...
t.c.