Monday, January 28, 2008
hello people! It has been donkey weeks since I've last updated. This month has really been a tough month with lots of tests, projects all due in consecutive weeks. I can't help but to say that IT'S SO TIRING! Tests and projects datelines are all chasing after me. One after another. But I'm excited this week. Obviously it is not because of the OOP project presentation but rather this Thursday's Switchfoot's concert!
Did I mention that I'm going to their concert? If no, I'm mentioning it now. HAHA. One of the main reasons why I'm so excited besides the fact that they're my favourite band is it's my first time to a concert. :D I've never been to a concert before. Spending fifty five dollars to a concert is considered reasonable right?
Well, I feel that the price of the ticket is rather cheap and reasonable considered that fact that the concert will last for three and a half hours. That's really long man! Anyway, just want to thank God that the project presentation is on Friday! If it's on Thursday, I don't think I can make it to the concert.
Anyway thank God I pass my English, C6! yeah, I know that it's not a good grade but you know what? It doesn't really matter because I know that I gave my all and God did his rest. Somehow this result actually showed me a clearer picture of my future path. okay, actually I really quite like my course though Java is really a nuisance. haha. Don't you think that it's cool to study both IT and business? :D
ah, sorry God! I've fallen again. In that area again? Sometimes it's harder to forgive yourself than to forgive others. It's so much more easier to forgive others than to forgive myself. At least for me, this is so true. Despite knowing that God has forgiven me, I can't forgive myself even though I know I ought to.
Totally agree with what Pastor Jeff has shared today at the conference.
If someone says something about us that we know is not true, then it is not really a problem. We're hurt by what people say or do only when something rings true
This message came just at the right time. That was exactly how I reacted today when one of my classmates said something about me. As I think back, I realised that it is really so true, we're agitated and affected by the things people say because we didn't want to admit that what they say is true. Don't you agree too?
Thank you God for showing me that it's never just about the other person. God, may you just take away all the insecurities and inadequacies. just want to honour you with my actions and words that I speak.
Did I mention that I'm going to their concert? If no, I'm mentioning it now. HAHA. One of the main reasons why I'm so excited besides the fact that they're my favourite band is it's my first time to a concert. :D I've never been to a concert before. Spending fifty five dollars to a concert is considered reasonable right?
Well, I feel that the price of the ticket is rather cheap and reasonable considered that fact that the concert will last for three and a half hours. That's really long man! Anyway, just want to thank God that the project presentation is on Friday! If it's on Thursday, I don't think I can make it to the concert.
Anyway thank God I pass my English, C6! yeah, I know that it's not a good grade but you know what? It doesn't really matter because I know that I gave my all and God did his rest. Somehow this result actually showed me a clearer picture of my future path. okay, actually I really quite like my course though Java is really a nuisance. haha. Don't you think that it's cool to study both IT and business? :D
ah, sorry God! I've fallen again. In that area again? Sometimes it's harder to forgive yourself than to forgive others. It's so much more easier to forgive others than to forgive myself. At least for me, this is so true. Despite knowing that God has forgiven me, I can't forgive myself even though I know I ought to.
Totally agree with what Pastor Jeff has shared today at the conference.
If someone says something about us that we know is not true, then it is not really a problem. We're hurt by what people say or do only when something rings true
This message came just at the right time. That was exactly how I reacted today when one of my classmates said something about me. As I think back, I realised that it is really so true, we're agitated and affected by the things people say because we didn't want to admit that what they say is true. Don't you agree too?
Thank you God for showing me that it's never just about the other person. God, may you just take away all the insecurities and inadequacies. just want to honour you with my actions and words that I speak.
at 11:48 PM
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Let love be the reason! yeah the reason. :D
at 11:42 PM
Saturday, January 12, 2008
It's so hard to please everyone. In fact, hard is an understatement. I've realised that I've been wanting to please people and I'm really tired of it. From now on, I don't want to please anyone anymore.
Sometimes I just feel that I'm so fake and stupid. Trying so hard to please everyone.(it sucks!) What's the point? seriously what's the point? And sometimes because I'd rather please people than God, I ended up fearing people than fearing God. And that's so true.(at least for me)
just want to be real and sincere to people. just want to live a life to please him and him alone! just want to put a smile on your face.
tonnes of stuffs to be completed. Java Project is a killer. Kind of worried for it but I guess what I need and want to do is to put in effort and "tada" it will work out right.
And lord, help me!! yeah man. alright, it's chionging time!
Sometimes I just feel that I'm so fake and stupid. Trying so hard to please everyone.(it sucks!) What's the point? seriously what's the point? And sometimes because I'd rather please people than God, I ended up fearing people than fearing God. And that's so true.(at least for me)
just want to be real and sincere to people. just want to live a life to please him and him alone! just want to put a smile on your face.
tonnes of stuffs to be completed. Java Project is a killer. Kind of worried for it but I guess what I need and want to do is to put in effort and "tada" it will work out right.
And lord, help me!! yeah man. alright, it's chionging time!
at 1:00 AM
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Need you here
I feel kinda gloomy and down today. I thought it was easy. But I was wrong.. So wrong! It's so hard to maintain a joyful heart when all the project just come running after you. And I don't understand why some people just don't want to give their best. Why want to be lukewarm when you know that you can do very well when you really give your best? argh.
Yes, sometimes I really feel very angry inside but I just kept my cool.(just like a balloon that is almost bursting!) I didn't want to make the whole situation even worse. At other times, I'll just shout when I cannot take it anymore. arghhh. Helplessness. But then again, I've no rights to judge because I'm imperfect too. Sinner, I am.
Why can't I just maintain a joyful heart whenever problems just crashing up my way? Why am I so judgemental? To make matters worse, I've realised that nowadays, I'll get really impatient even for the slightest thing. I know I've said this many times but I just keep struggling and struggling and struggling. Losing count of the number of times I've been struggling in this area, God help me. seriously.
Whenever I thought of the uncountable senseless and stupid things that I did, I'll start to feel really disgusted. Disgusted at myself! At the same time, I thank God because he made me into something when I'm nothing. Creation that HE loved.
God, I desperately need your help!
Deuteronomy 4:29-31 (The message)
29-31 But even there, if you seek God, your God, you'll be able to find him if you're serious, looking for him with your whole heart and soul. When troubles come and all these awful things happen to you, in future days you will come back to God, your God, and listen obediently to what he says. God, your God, is above all a compassionate God. In the end he will not abandon you, he won't bring you to ruin, he won't forget the covenant with your ancestors which he swore to them.
gonna claim this verse!
I feel kinda gloomy and down today. I thought it was easy. But I was wrong.. So wrong! It's so hard to maintain a joyful heart when all the project just come running after you. And I don't understand why some people just don't want to give their best. Why want to be lukewarm when you know that you can do very well when you really give your best? argh.
Yes, sometimes I really feel very angry inside but I just kept my cool.(just like a balloon that is almost bursting!) I didn't want to make the whole situation even worse. At other times, I'll just shout when I cannot take it anymore. arghhh. Helplessness. But then again, I've no rights to judge because I'm imperfect too. Sinner, I am.
Why can't I just maintain a joyful heart whenever problems just crashing up my way? Why am I so judgemental? To make matters worse, I've realised that nowadays, I'll get really impatient even for the slightest thing. I know I've said this many times but I just keep struggling and struggling and struggling. Losing count of the number of times I've been struggling in this area, God help me. seriously.
Whenever I thought of the uncountable senseless and stupid things that I did, I'll start to feel really disgusted. Disgusted at myself! At the same time, I thank God because he made me into something when I'm nothing. Creation that HE loved.
God, I desperately need your help!
Deuteronomy 4:29-31 (The message)
29-31 But even there, if you seek God, your God, you'll be able to find him if you're serious, looking for him with your whole heart and soul. When troubles come and all these awful things happen to you, in future days you will come back to God, your God, and listen obediently to what he says. God, your God, is above all a compassionate God. In the end he will not abandon you, he won't bring you to ruin, he won't forget the covenant with your ancestors which he swore to them.
gonna claim this verse!
at 11:34 PM
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
James 1:5
5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
------
yeah. Next week is gonna be a real busy week for me. I don't know what to say but I can foresee that it is gonna be a stressful week not just for me but for the whole class. But amidst the busyness and stressfulness, I want to maintain a joyful heart. seriously.
Yes, it is gonna be tough because if you know what next week is in stored for me, you'll definitely agree that it is super hectic!
But hey, this is the time that I really need to tap upon God's wisdom and strength.
haha. So, here's what my hectic week will be like:
Monday: E-quiz for French
Tuesday: DCN ICA 2(maybe cg will be on this day! not sure as yet. haha.)
Wednesday: Prepare for management presentation on Thurs
Thursday: Management presentation
Friday: OOP Practical Test and Econs project meeting after school
Saturday: Econs project meeting(MAYBE burning mid-night oil till next morning)
Anyway, take care everybody! Especially those in J2. I know everyday is a battle. But, HANG ON!
5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
------
yeah. Next week is gonna be a real busy week for me. I don't know what to say but I can foresee that it is gonna be a stressful week not just for me but for the whole class. But amidst the busyness and stressfulness, I want to maintain a joyful heart. seriously.
Yes, it is gonna be tough because if you know what next week is in stored for me, you'll definitely agree that it is super hectic!
But hey, this is the time that I really need to tap upon God's wisdom and strength.
haha. So, here's what my hectic week will be like:
Monday: E-quiz for French
Tuesday: DCN ICA 2(maybe cg will be on this day! not sure as yet. haha.)
Wednesday: Prepare for management presentation on Thurs
Thursday: Management presentation
Friday: OOP Practical Test and Econs project meeting after school
Saturday: Econs project meeting(MAYBE burning mid-night oil till next morning)
Anyway, take care everybody! Especially those in J2. I know everyday is a battle. But, HANG ON!
at 11:31 PM
Friday, January 04, 2008
Is it too late to wish everyone a Happy New Year? hmmmm. Actually I don't think it's too late. It's like the whole of January is there for us to celebrate new year right? okay, it gets a bit exaggerating. haha. oh man. Today is already the fourth day of January.
BLESSED 2008!
man, time really flies! It seems like it was just yesterday that I was taking my O level exams. And "boom", we're already in 2008! Sometimes I just wish that time will just slow down and not fly for once.
Initially I wanted to blog on the last day of 2007 or the first day of 2008, but it failed because I'm so busy with projects and projects. Now that my stats project is finally finished, I can have a breather! whooooo.. Nowadays I've been reflecting(in and out of my life) whenever I'm on the bus. And somehow I'll get emo whenever I think of my secondary school life and life in church youth.
I really miss a lot of people! People like Jasmine, Zishan, Valerie, TzeWei, 4s sincerity jokers and many more. I miss everyone in NED, NEE, Karchian, RachelFong, YiHui, Luannie, Xiaoting and many many people. hmmmm. I would say that 2007 is a year that is very different. It is a year with challenges after challenges, transitions after transitions, disappointments after disappointments and meeting new people after meeting new people.
To be honest, of all the seventeen years that I've lived in this earth, I feel that 2007 is one of my worst years. There's quite a number of occasions that I felt really helpless and fraustrated. There were lots of misunderstanding from friends and even my family members. I can still remember there was even a time that I cried so loudly because of some misunderstandings with my friend.
2007 is also a year of transition period for me. If you know me well, you'll know that I abhor changes and transition. To be honest, transferring from youth to tertiary and transiting from secondary school to poly wasn't easy at all. During that period of time, I do feel that God is so distant. And somehow I felt that no one really cared for me.
But thank God for Dawn, Celestine, Yuqian, Shuling, Jacqueline, YiHui, Limin, Hsiaoen, NYPB1 and again many more people out there who has always been encouraging me in times of need. Really appreciate each and everyone of you. Thank you for accepting me for who I am. All of you all have made my heart smile. :D
I'm also glad that I've made lots of new friends. Some of my new friends are very encouraging and supportive in whatever things that I'm going to do. Thank you 0701! Thank you Madeline, Sharon, Eileen, Jiayan, Idarh, Ivy, Peixian, Jace, Huizhen, Husna, Serene, Jessica, Meirong and basically everyone in the class la. All of you have taught me lots of things ever since poly started. Thank you!
I'm also really happy that I've managed to stay in contact with quite a number of my friends. Friends that are in my secondary school. Thank you Melissa, Michelle, Wanxin, Jasmine, Zishan and many more. But it's still sad that I haven't been meeting up with some of my secondary school classmates that I loved. But, I know they're doing well because we still do keep in contact through smses.
All in all, Thank you God! It's not an obligation to thank you. It's not because it is new year that's why I feel that I ought to thank you. But rather I really want to thank you from my heart.
Thank you God for
this life
not forsaking me when I needed you the most
not giving up on me when I fail you
all the love, grace and mercy that you've bestowed upon me
all the awesome friends that you've sent to my life
YOU. simply you. Sometimes, a thank you ain't enough. But still, Thank you Jesus!
This year I want to experience you in a greater measure. Experiencing you not by emotions or feelings but really knowing you for who you're. As what I've always said to you, transform me like how you've transformed other people. I guess this is what I really want in this 2008. Because when Jesus has transformed me from the inside out, everything changes, and all the aspects of my life will be like a set of jig saw puzzle that comes into place.
man, time really flies! It seems like it was just yesterday that I was taking my O level exams. And "boom", we're already in 2008! Sometimes I just wish that time will just slow down and not fly for once.
Initially I wanted to blog on the last day of 2007 or the first day of 2008, but it failed because I'm so busy with projects and projects. Now that my stats project is finally finished, I can have a breather! whooooo.. Nowadays I've been reflecting(in and out of my life) whenever I'm on the bus. And somehow I'll get emo whenever I think of my secondary school life and life in church youth.
I really miss a lot of people! People like Jasmine, Zishan, Valerie, TzeWei, 4s sincerity jokers and many more. I miss everyone in NED, NEE, Karchian, RachelFong, YiHui, Luannie, Xiaoting and many many people. hmmmm. I would say that 2007 is a year that is very different. It is a year with challenges after challenges, transitions after transitions, disappointments after disappointments and meeting new people after meeting new people.
To be honest, of all the seventeen years that I've lived in this earth, I feel that 2007 is one of my worst years. There's quite a number of occasions that I felt really helpless and fraustrated. There were lots of misunderstanding from friends and even my family members. I can still remember there was even a time that I cried so loudly because of some misunderstandings with my friend.
2007 is also a year of transition period for me. If you know me well, you'll know that I abhor changes and transition. To be honest, transferring from youth to tertiary and transiting from secondary school to poly wasn't easy at all. During that period of time, I do feel that God is so distant. And somehow I felt that no one really cared for me.
But thank God for Dawn, Celestine, Yuqian, Shuling, Jacqueline, YiHui, Limin, Hsiaoen, NYPB1 and again many more people out there who has always been encouraging me in times of need. Really appreciate each and everyone of you. Thank you for accepting me for who I am. All of you all have made my heart smile. :D
I'm also glad that I've made lots of new friends. Some of my new friends are very encouraging and supportive in whatever things that I'm going to do. Thank you 0701! Thank you Madeline, Sharon, Eileen, Jiayan, Idarh, Ivy, Peixian, Jace, Huizhen, Husna, Serene, Jessica, Meirong and basically everyone in the class la. All of you have taught me lots of things ever since poly started. Thank you!
I'm also really happy that I've managed to stay in contact with quite a number of my friends. Friends that are in my secondary school. Thank you Melissa, Michelle, Wanxin, Jasmine, Zishan and many more. But it's still sad that I haven't been meeting up with some of my secondary school classmates that I loved. But, I know they're doing well because we still do keep in contact through smses.
All in all, Thank you God! It's not an obligation to thank you. It's not because it is new year that's why I feel that I ought to thank you. But rather I really want to thank you from my heart.
this life
not forsaking me when I needed you the most
not giving up on me when I fail you
all the love, grace and mercy that you've bestowed upon me
all the awesome friends that you've sent to my life
YOU. simply you. Sometimes, a thank you ain't enough. But still, Thank you Jesus!
This year I want to experience you in a greater measure. Experiencing you not by emotions or feelings but really knowing you for who you're. As what I've always said to you, transform me like how you've transformed other people. I guess this is what I really want in this 2008. Because when Jesus has transformed me from the inside out, everything changes, and all the aspects of my life will be like a set of jig saw puzzle that comes into place.
at 10:45 PM