fancy-free

fancy-free

( 6:07 AM )

battling pain from wisedom, am severely annoyed by how tiny my jaw is. whassup man.

oh so tragick-

I thought I thought I was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So I've learned to listen through silence

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always between the lines
Between the lines

( 8:30 AM )

lesson learnt: you are more than you think you are.

because eks made a note that i blogged here again during lecture this morning and i was able to say yes fifth of march (and that's all trivia, useless, but very interesting to me haha), i'm obliged to drop a quick note to say, hello friends, everything's falling into place oh so nicely, have no idea how or why, but it is really extremely exciting. from the super lucks clinicals to my first posting (oh yes, right down to the department omg) to secret missions, just like magic. so much excitement, but no one to shareitshareit with, something's missing, such a pity. oh wells, let's hope i don't disappoint.

here goes!

( 3:11 AM )

just in case anyone still reads this, and because i'm a stickler for completeness (no really haha), here i am, in the midst of the crazymadrush of studying for the finals. it all sounds very severe and i must say, it is truly as severe as it sounds. or well at least it sure feels like it. age is catching up, i find myself having difficulty with the attention span. mine's currently a grand total of 15minutes. almost attention deficit, i kid you not. (yes, pun intended, unwittingly hah)

committed to watching yet another dance production by the company that has provided much respite over the five long weary years. very important to stop to smell the roses, wouldn't you agree? can't wait for this ordeal to be over. i only wish you were here.

random note: i am one wisdom tooth wiser. :)

( 7:51 AM )

urm. haven't quite been keeping up with this page, have i? haha. you know it when you can find a year's worth of posts on the same page. (see oct 13 2006 below)

i am: good, in final year (finally), not keeping up with the books, quite a mess :(, still dancing (something i am eternally glad i chose to do). dance keeps me free, but focused and i must continue with it. i am also in need of a radical change - can't change the hair cos i need sth easy and manageable and i can't think of much else that's instantly changeable. i am tired of chronicity. that, and discourse because right now i don't feel ready to voice my opinions or present myself to the world.

( 5:01 AM )

school starts tmrw. :( and i am totally unprepared. new york was fantabulous. but for now it's time to snap back to reality and face the NIGHTMARE. i cannot believe a year has passed. time to find me some optimism and trudge forward. in other news, nothing can replace the joy of being a little somebody in the big black dance studio.

( 7:29 AM )

hello world, new york is really pretty, the weather is chilly the streets are sunny and my apartment is tres fantastique. at the lounge now where there is free wireless internet connection, the radio blasting away, snuggled in one of the hugeass beanbaglooking cushions, with the sunlight streaming in through glass panelled walls.

lunch in chinatown later. i miss dancing, but for now, i'd better cure the muscle aches from the plane ride and heavy bags.

here's to freedom and anonymity!

( 10:35 AM )

virgin post on my brand new pal, a member of the fujitsu s series. i'm uber favourited. very blessed and charmed. i've named it TRAVELIGHT - the motto of my life. haha. enjoying short but sweet exchanges with the bearfwen in the land of !kungbushmen sigh there's something very precious about being vulnerable (and real) with the people who matter, sans strong fronts and false pretenses. my fingers are stubby. i can't always reach the right keys. :( kids sized keyboard, anyone?

need to learn to flow instead of fighting the tide.

( 11:03 PM )

you must notice a pattern by now - that i blog only when i'm bored. lazy days are good. i like lazy days. (and when i do, i stutter and sound too much like an imbecile) looking forward to the future and what it holds. something says it's time to move on but i cannot bear to leave travelight behind. school starts monday and i am unprepared, to say the least. crazy busy year ahead the sheer thought of it tires me. time to get my act together!

( 3:02 AM )

I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS TO BE OVER.

dumdumdum. papers tmrw and the day after and all i can think of now is how life is going to be beautiful and enjoyable after this nightmare. i never used to be so indulgent or resigned but i think age is catching up with me and i'm just oh-so-tired. dumdumdum.

CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT.

( 12:40 AM )

life is good. despite the exams looming ahead, the less-than-desirable weather (lazy), and the absolute boredom of counting the cookies as i eat them (nope nothing intellectual at all), life has been kind to me. i'm developing a certain i-don't-know-what for exams and tests and i think i like that. there are bigger better brighter things in life. a newfound peace rests at the centre of my being, and while i lose focus sometimes, as little girls (yeah right who am i trying to kid) often do, nothing beats knowing that those who matter will be there, just because.

( 12:35 AM )

yay now that orthopaedics is over and done with, i'm looking forward to my quest for knowledge. geeky delights galore in the weeks to come! i think my brain has been inactive for a large part of the year (oh a year has flown by!) pardon the enthusiasm and overwhelming geekiness here but the thought of academia thrills me. it's been a long long while.

photo of me, the sister on her 18th and her new friend little miss sunshine (who now rests at the foot of her bed)

( 5:41 PM )

my sister's new pink camera takes pretty shots! erm. my sister is a tad too tanned for family cohesion. hahaha. fair and chubby is the way to go!

#

( 12:45 AM )

it's been a wonderful chinese new year (even though it's only been one day). family funtimes, lots of food, a prettylilcafe by the sea, and my day is made.

today it dawned upon me that i've been making the same wish(es) all my life. or well, for as long as i can remember. hrmm i don't know if they've come true but that's just like me-i'm very bad at tracking things.

okay need coffee dose number two to save my day.

( 5:53 PM )

newfound positive energy and peace with the self, need to channel it somewhere and hopefully make my new year resolution (of geeky pleasures) work.

the weather of late has been splendid. i kid you not. it's breezy and sunny, perfect for lounging by the pool, alfresco mealtimes and walks in the park.

okay no time for superfluous thoughts, byebye! (i secretly enjoy hurrying off)

( 8:29 AM )

the urge to post is few and far between these days. but happy birthday to my supermum!

these days i busy myself with trying to get my life in order, i battle with how quickly i should finish my tub of ben&jerry's, i attempt to make important decisions on what to do with my life, i visit the pharmacy to buy pill boxes for my granny, i try to stay away from coffee (i've been caffeine free for the past oh dear only two days). oh and i think about my next birthday and i already know what i'm gonna be wishing for. :)

it's been awhile since i've fallen so deeply in love with a song (oh so melodramatic)

Please don't say I love you
Those words touch me much too deeply
And they make my core tremble
Don't think you realize the effect you have over me
Please don't look at me like that
It just makes me want to make you near me always
Please don't kiss me so sweet
It makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
And please don't touch me like that
Makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
And please don't come so close
It just makes me want to make you near me always
Please don't bring me flowers
They only whisper the sweet things you'd say
Don't try to understand me
Your hands already know too much anyway
It just makes me want to make you near me always
And when you look in my eyes
Please know my heart is in your hands
It's nothing that I understand
But when in your arms you have complete power over me
So be gentle if you please
'Cause your hands are in my hair but my heart is in your teeth
And it makes me want to make you near me always

whoever you are isn't as big as the idea of you