Girls Night out! (and I am not a hipster)

It has been F O R E V E R since I have been to a concert. (Unless you count the Christmas concert at school my kids sang at.) So, when Dana suggested we go to the Arcade Fire concert, I was  A L L over it. (bonus points! They wanted you to dress up!)
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I'll confess, I was a bit worried though, knowing the high concentration of hipsters that would be attending the concert with us.

I am not a hipster.

Not even a little bit.

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And what does one wear to a hipster concert? Is it not hipster to not know? (i am so lame)
Dress shopping?

 Let's just say the long winter has not been good on the skin, ok? 

As our wonderful sales lady brought in dress after dress, I began to question her motives. I don't know if she thought she was being helpful, but I don't think I have shown as much skin as some of those dresses she brought in exposed since I was...well...never. 

And what is with the figure skating style dresses? Pretty? Yes, but I HAVE THIGHS. THIGHS. 

 Once THAT awesomeness was over, we immediately headed out and bought ourselves licorice and salty snacks to lick our wounds.

(D-girl takes amazing photos)

Concert?  We had a blast! I didn't see anything, but it sounded good. (Any other short person out there think they should have a section for those 5'3" and under? I mean, I think we found every 6'+ person out there to stand by.)

Can I just say?

I needed the night out. Although the hipsters smiled kindly down at me? I think I jumped up and down just as well as them.  (even Dana said so)

Then we got tacos from Taco Bell at midnight. Because we are hip like that, we can stay up past midnight, yo.

Seriously. I need a life (and a nap, please, please, a nap.)

Biggest Fears

Fear not (giggle, I am so witty), I am not about to get all deep on you and make you listen to my innermost feelings of angst and inadequacy. 

This is the real stuff. And no, they are not phobias. A phobia, by definition, is an irrational fear. I think we can all agree my fears are quite rational. 

Biggest Fear #3:  Being forced to eat banana bread.
No, I don't want to hear about your famous banana bread recipe that will change my mind. My great grandma has one and it hasn't changed my mind. 
Note: This also, to a lesser extent, applies to strawberry-banana smoothies, banana flavored Runts, and banana bars. 

Biggest Fear #2: Being chased by a bear, skunk, rabid dog, or other fearful animal while running. 
I've seen bears in these parts. I've found bear scat in my yard. I've watched the Bear ATTACK! shows with Asher. I am most certainly not intelligent enough to play dead if I see a bear, and I feel the bears around here are not smart enough to run away from me. 
Skunks? They'd spray me for sure. Again, do I look like the type of calm, composed person who would avoid upsetting them? 
Dogs? They smell my fear. (Public Service Announcement here: I don't care if we live outside of city bounds. KEEP YOUR DOG IN YOUR YARD. See? Your dog = Your yard. It's simple.) 

Biggest Fear #1: Being offed by an axe murderer. 

Laugh all you want. Those that know me? Don't. Why? 

Because I am prime axe murderering material. 

• I am gullible

• I am trusting 

• I don't like to hurt people's feelings, so I make dumb decisions to avoid doing so
• I am weak
• I pay no attention whatsoever to my surroundings
• I am scared to watch the True Crime shows my mom loves so much, which could provide me with protection tips
• I do, however, read the killer books, like The Sociopath Next Door, Green River, Running Red; The Serial Killer Whisperer, and some Edgar Allen Poe (Dudes got some messed up stuff. I would add a fear of being buried alive after reading his stuff, but I think that would be overkill.) 
• I reference axe murderers too much. What better way to draw attention to yourself than talking about them excessively? stupid sara, stupid sara

Those are the only characteristics I am willing to share at this moment. I don't want to give too many of my weaknesses away at once, which could be used against me. 

What's your biggest fear? Share any with me? 

Embrace the Practices of our Youth

Necessary Background Information: 

- Two days a week, I work from an office at our district's high school

- I recently turned 34, and have noticed that I am no longer a spring chicken

- I decided to take a walk down the high school halls and gather data to use in order to make myself "hip to the hop" with the younger crowd (and seriously, that is not a small task, I am 62.25 inches tall and these kids are GIANTS. It's scary out in those halls. 

Unnecessary but nonetheless interesting information: 
- The office used to be a police liaison office, so I am pretty sure that makes me [thisclose] to being a police liaison myself. 

- Also, because there is a police presence 'round here, I have had the opportunity to get to know our friendly neighborhood officers and just today gave them the make and model of my vehicle, so they can be sure NOT to pull me over. I explained to them that I cannot maintain my lane, will always slam on my brakes when I see them, and will be singing loudly as I drive. They seemed to take this information seriously. especially after I complimented the one's dog, who is nowhere as cute as Lenny. 

Actual Point of this Whole Post: (yes, there is one)
By the way? Anyone else get really irritated with bloggers formatting? So annoying. 

So, the results of  my research are in, are HERE are the TOP 5 ways to embrace the practices of our youth and be hip: 

1) Always, ALWAYS have earbuds with you, but ONLY have one in your ear at all times. Having both in is dorky, the second one needs to be dangling there like a pesky fly, but never actually used. 
 - It does not appear that the actual ear the earbud is placed in is a big deal, but I will be conducting further research in case I just wasn't paying all that much attention

2) Leggings are, in fact, pants. Women, wear 'em. All colors, the more patterns the better. Tops must be hip length or shorter, this is non-negotiable. 
(but I am sorry, I refuse to wear pleather boots. I have to draw the line somewhere. Our youth can get away with this because of their young age and lack of income, but I have no excuse)
3) Never walk down the hall without a smartphone in your hand. Ever. 

4) Don't move out of the way for anyone, ever. Even if it is a poor, innocent woman just trying to get to her destination unharmed, do not move. It shows your power as the next ruling generation to make these people alter their paths for you. Remember- this is Gen Y! They should know better than to even THINK you'd move for them. And when the short, feisty one does not move? Act like it was the biggest inconvenience, like, ever to move for her. 

5) Bedazzle yourself. If it has sparkles? Wear it. If it doesn't? Add 'em. How else does one expect to be noticed in this overpopulated world? Stand out! Bedazzle yourself- don't let the others have more sequins than you. 

Conclusion:
See? It's not that hard. I was worried that I'd lost my youthful edge, but I can handle these. (and if you are under 19 and reading this? Please don't burst my bubble and tell me I have it all wrong, I need to believe I am hip.) 

Sara

He's Too Much

Meet Lenny. The World's Cutest Puppy (and yes, he is the size of a horse) 
I don't even really like dogs all that much (let's avoid going back into my past and revisiting the reasons why this is, shall we?) 
But? How could you NOT love this guy? 

 
Baby Lenny @6 weeks

Almost illegally cute, right!?

The dog loves paper of all types. 

 

Lenny at 13 weeks

  

And if you are wondering: 

• Yes, he eats a lot...I think. I've never had a dog before, so I am only assuming 5 cups a day + treats is more than the norm. (He's a growing boy, he needs energy!)

• He is currently 45 pounds at 14 weeks. At his 8 week vet appointment (which was very embarrassing for him, he had terrible gas after from the distress) he was 17 pounds, his 12 week he was 31 pounds...

• I think he is going to stop growing soon though, because we bought a MINIATURE Saint Bernard. (fine, he is going to be a horse)

• I am his favorite, and he follows me everywhere I go. Which is concerning when he is another 125 pounds heavier. It already sounds like there is a moose moving through the house. 

• He only drools after drinking. 

and yes, the boys love him!

Wordless Wednesday- Never Make Fun of a Friend with Photoshop

...and not just Photoshop, but mad skillz with photoshop, who has unresolved feelings of pain and embarrassment from being given the Pepto Pink scooter on vacation last March and having to be the only non-cool scooterer (yep, that's a word)

Because if you do make fun of this poor, innocent, Pink Pepto scooter riding fool, she may be forced to do the following: 

But seriously? We were CrAzY!

~Sara

Two of Us!?

It recently occurred to me that the majority of my posts included my bff Dana in some way or another. Whether it be her almost getting us killed, her taking me to Grandma's Marathon and cheering me on, or being the the subject of a survival plan I hatched up.
Therefore, her and I hatched up a plan (in which I must say, we are most excellent at doing) to write a blog together! 
So we did.
Here it is: Dancing is Always an Option

I will still post on here, about as few and far between as I have been lately anyhow ;). I am excited to have a good time posting with Dana whilst avoiding APA writing. Stupid. 

Dana and I would be honored if you would check us out!  I am •*SuPeR•* excited for her to meet y'all! (did I sound Westernish there? I felt very Southern saying that. Despite the fact I was born and raised in Minnesota.)

Florida 2.0 = The Minecon Edition, part 1

Because we are the coolest parents in the world, we took our kids to Florida to attend the Minecon Convention. (You know, the game where all the parents look at it and say, "I'm not sure what he is doing on the computer there, it looks like a 1980's game of some type.")(Honestly, it was a hardship to have to take the kids on a weeklong trip to Florida. All the nice weather, fun times...we are givers all right.) 

Moving on. (honestly, have you ever seen anyone get so caught up in explanations? I apparently have some sort of condition that requires the liberal use of parenthesis whenever I write in order to survive. Pretty sure someone out there is doing some research on that as we...type.) (And ellipsis marks too... Love 'em. #issuesgaloregirl) 

Of course, I had to bring my BFF and her family to join the fun. @murolanad (that is her twitter name. Get this: She actually used her FIRST and LAST name when she created her twitter account this week. I was all, "Girl, YOU DON'T DO THAT! Your going to get us killed! They will see your name, google you, trace it back to ME, and kill us both. After all, it's all about me, and my fear of being offed, right?) I am being kind and not giving her full name Dana out on here. 

 Naturally, before heading to Minecon, we had to make the obligatory trip to Disney, right?    

(I would have won, but I had a sore wrist from the first round, and I am SURE Jess cheated.)

It was a good time to take the boys, I think they at the age where this was the last time they would really have a good time at the Magic Kingdom. They are ready for more adventurous parks now! 

 I am not sure if you saw on Facebook or not, but Minecon allowed Dana and myself to be...

MINECON AGENTS

 (I know, right!? Apparently agents are not required to be background checked, highly trained, or pass rigorous physical training tests. They just have to be willing to work for free.)

We all had an amazing time. The staff at Mojang are incredibly kind and fun to talk with. The set up was incredible. The panels were great, and they even rented out Islands of Adventure for us to visit Saturday night. I'll go into more detail in my next post, but my stomach is growling and I have been sitting for more than the doctor recommended 15 minutes, so I'll just leave you with some pics for now. :) 

(1,000,000 bonus points if you comment and tell me who this is!)

Posing with C418 and PGUEDER

Jeb! I had to physically pull Elijah away, or we'd still be standing there.

This is Dinnerbone. No, not the type you eat, but the human type. Which I didn't know existed until Minecraft.