You are bringing me to life

In 2012, we joyfully learned we were getting to have our second child (found out a year ago this week).   We soon thereafter found out Matt was being let go from his job due to company downsizing.  Matt was able to start at his new job with no lag time, and later that year we learned that the timing of this could not have been more than perfect in terms of health coverage during my pregnancy.
We attempted to sell our lovely Fairway home in the middle of a hot summer, complete with drought and 100+ degree temps.  We had felt like it was time to move on, both due to its practical size for us as a growing family (if Ruby ever wanted to have her own closet) as well as for where we wanted to put down roots.  Our house did not sell.  We regrouped, and through some good friends of Matt's who run a rental management company, along with my husband's amazingly hard work for over a year and a half from the time we started getting the house ready, we were able to prepare it to rent.  We moved in with my in-laws a month before our second daughter was to be born, with our almost 2 year old Ruby.
And Sybil was born - beautiful, sweet Sybil - a true gift from God.  If ever words were not adequate to express things, I feel so when I write that she is a gift from God.  If I were a little more together, I would have the blog picture updated to reflect the fact that I have two daughters now.  It's been quiet around here blog-wise these first three months of her little life.  I hope I get to go back and tell you more about her.  About what a great big sister Ruby is becoming - when Sybil was crying in the car last night, Ruby kept offering her own blankie, which is a pretty big deal.  About how Sybil grins her toothless grin at her daddy, and how Matt is now the all-star bedtime story reader and back tickler for Ruby.  About how I love having two girls.
Two weeks after Sybil was born, our renter signed a 12 1/2 month rental agreement for our house.  Amen.  A month after Sybil was born, I received a letter from my HR of the company I was working for as a physical therapist that I had not worked quite enough hours in the past year to qualify my leave for FMLA (regulations state that you have to have worked 1250 hours in the past year, and I was short by 24 hours).  Meaning my job was not guaranteed to be there when I started back.  I took the letter to heart and started looking around for a new job.  I have been blessed to work part-time since Ruby was born, 3 days a week, and I loved the team of therapists I worked with.  But in my heart, I was really desiring to cut back my hours even a little more to 2 days a week.  And God provided a new situation where I will work 2 days a week plus one weekend a month, in a hospital that is significantly closer to home.  I started last week, and I can't believe it all actually happened.
In the midst of this, we have been living with my very gracious in-laws.  We originally thought it would just be for 2 or 3 months (or at least I did).  Here we are coming up on 5 months later.  Looking back though, I never would have felt comfortable switching jobs if we didn't have the grace of some wiggle room in our finances.  Our girls have been able to spend wonderful time with their grandparents.  As a new mom of 2, I have had extra hands to help, and we have had understanding, support and loving sacrifices from family as we navigate these first few months of parenting 2 kiddos.  Amazing.
And now today, we are going to look at a home that makes my stomach kind of bubble up with excitement as I think about it.  In Kansas City, KS near our missional community that we are so looking forward to being closer to.  We have been on a hiatus from looking at homes for over a month, with the holidays slowing everything down in the real estate market.  We have no idea what may happen today, or this week, or this month.  I might be blogging from my in-laws' computer this summer still.  But I have a feeling not.  I don't have much to say about this new home, since we don't know much yet, but how great to start feeling an anticipation again.   Since Sybil's birth, I have had a Bebo Norman song stuck in my head - "Show me your Kingdom come, Father, and let your will be done, here in me, as it is in heaven.  I want to run into the deep, and let the deep call out to me; I want to lose myself in your love.  So let it rain down, over me, as I fall down to my knees.  Let the ocean rise to meet me; I need you to bring me to life."  It could have been the warm weather yesterday, but I feel like there is something going on.

Preparation

It is the eve of labor.  Maybe - unless little one shows up tonight.... I thought it was the eve of labor two weeks ago, on a Sunday night, timing contractions every four minutes.  But we returned home.  And it's been good.  To "get prepared."  (I think a week from now if I read those words I will laugh).  But we are somewhat settled for now.  We have (mostly) clean cars.  I am not sure why that was what I felt really needed to happen this weekend, but kudos to the Blue Lagoon car wash on Shawnee Mission Parkway, where you pay one fee and get run through the wash line and then unlimited vacuum time with these crazy great vaccums that I loved.  Me in all my glorious 9 month-ness vacuuming away.  It felt good.

We have talked with Ruby about "sister" coming.  We initially taught her "sister's" name, but then stopped reminding her, when we realized that she was entirely capable of remembering and informing strangers of said name.  We (me) have anxiously watched her these last few weeks adjusting to changes.  We (me) have bought her presents to be given her at the hospital, new shoes, a fridge full of food from Trader Joe's because it seemed necessary to know that she had organic grapes, little clementines, mini cheese cracker sandwiches and one can of black beans while we are at the hospital.  And kudos to Trader Joe's because when the check out lady asked me when I was having this baby, and I told her tomorrow, she whooped and hollered and had one of the other workers give me a bouquet of flowers, and just made me and my girl feel so special.

I have told Matt every night that I think the baby will come that night.  I have told co-workers that I am ready.  But truth is, I am scared.  Of mommy-ing two girls.  Of labor.  Of these early days and weeks and months when life is surreal.  Of Matt and I moving from a powerplay of 2 on 1 to man-to-man defense (I definitely had to google "powerplay" since not only could I not remember the hockey term, but I almost couldn't remember my debit card password at the store today).

I used to babysit one day a week in college for a four-year-old little guy; his mom gave me the best advice when I graduated, as I was about to move part way across the country.  She told me to take the fear I held, and turn it into the belief that this would be an adventure.  Good stuff, Mrs. Frye.  I still think about it 12 years later.

I love October more and more every year, remembering meeting Matt, Ruby's birthday, and now this sweet pea's.  Part of me feels like maybe I shouldn't be blogging all this, since now I may get unwanted texts and phone calls, or since now you KNOW the baby is coming, and like it might put extra pressure on me.  But that's not what this blog is for.  It is where I sit down, when my daughter is sleeping, and put words down because it's the only way for me to process sometimes.

So whether it's next week (ha ha) or month or after Christmas, I can't wait to tell you about the next 24 hours.  And now I am going to go drink a Dr. Pepper because I can, and glory in it, because tomorrow a nurse will tell me that I can't eat until I produce a baby:)

bittersweet

I am sitting on the couch right now watching my belly dance around as the baby moves.... and we are packing up a majority of our things tomorrow, and getting ready to move in with Matt's parents. We want to be settled somewhere before this little one arrives (unless she comes tonight?! Probably not). So Matt and I were talking about some of the things we remember about living here, this little nugget of a home that I am going to miss so much. That the next person who lives here will not know - or just may not understand. The exact pattern of steps you need to take to cause as minimal creaking as possible between Ruby's room and ours at night. The spot in our backyard that housed a yellow jacket nest this summer which my husband waged war on, and WON, tarp, K-state rock, ski face mask and all. The way the sun comes in and shines on the green chair that we sit in and read to Ruby in, and how "Goodnight Moon" is actually referred to as "good morning" around here, and everybody knows what that means, and knows the words by heart at this point. The way a new spider pops out of somewhere every day needing to be taken care of. The way Ruby watches for Matt from the front window at the end of the day as he comes home from work. The way Matt and I live with a greater degree of confidence knowing that Mark, our neighbor two houses down, knows the comings and goings of everything and everybody on our street and is keeping an eye out for us. The way the pear tree in front of our house takes a blessedly long time to color and lose its leaves in the fall. The way I moved in here the night of our wedding, and it has since become our home. The way we brought our sweet girl home from the hospital here. I love this house.

My Salute to the Employees of Jones & Mitchell

Today I wanted to take some time and share our story as well as give tribute to my friends who I worked with at Jones & Mitchell. Enjoy the ride.

5 months and 18 days ago, or Feb 8 (my bro's birthday), I was let go from Jones & Mitchell, much like a beast set free back into the wild. I wasn't ready, but I was. I had spent the last couple years, previous to that point, looking for a job with nothing to show for it expect a bruised ego. Then a couple weeks later I had accepted my position as the Director of IT for an investment firm on the plaza. From that point in time, my health insurance told me that Kathleen's prego-ness was a pre-existing condition and they wouldn't cover her dr visits till after May. Which was dumb, but that's insurance companies for ya.

Ok, so fast forward and rewind to yesterday. Basically the entire Jones & Mitchell staff was given the boot, or at least a moldy old shoe to the rear as that's all they could afford. Currently, Kathleen is due in 2 months and had I also been apart of this group her delivery may not have been covered. Now obviously had we been in that situation, I would have simply asked Kathleen to hold the baby in for extra month, fairly standard stuff. See it's ok to write this up on the webs, because I'm not in striking distance of Kathleen.

All to say, at the time, I didn't understand it, my co-workers didn't understand it, but God knew, he was protecting me/us. I've been following my friends on facebook, viewing the sadness and humor together. And my heart goes out to you. Remember though, you are a beast back in the wild, enjoy it, it may not last long. Roll down your windows and turn up your music to level just above tolerable (or high school loudness) and sing along as loud as possible. Open your door and as your neighbor waves hello, run up to them and yell FREEDOM as loud as William Wallace. Go buy a large pizza and eat the entire thing or until you feel sick. Go watch a movie or read a book you've been eyeing. Spend extra time with family and friends that you normally don't get. You get the point.

A few verses I enjoy/need from time to time.


As bad as you are, you still know how to give good gifts to your children. But your heavenly Father is even more ready to give good things to people who ask.
Matt 7:11

Look at the birds in the sky! They don’t plant or harvest. They don’t even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren’t you worth more than birds?
Matt 6:26


And to those JM's out there requesting Ruby pics because I've been slacking on facebook, here ya be:

This is my current Desktop Background at work

Omaha Zoo, loved it

Just pure cuteness is all

Take care and God speed my JM friends!

Being on the market....

Among other events in life right now, we have our house on the market. What a different time in life - where your home is in a strange state of cleanliness, and you hide your things in odd places in case people want to open your closets or look in your cabinets. Where you are glad when a strange car drives by the house slowly, and live in slight fear that they will call and request to come look inside it in exactly five minutes as you frantically try to pick up crumbs off every surface with your bare hands. Where you want to leave but you don't. (OK, maybe that last one is just me). We are coming up on 7 weeks (I think?) of having our house up for sale. It has been a strangely calm time. We can't make a sale happen. We can't force people to come look in our house. We wait. I am not too sad about it. I have moments of slight panic if I start counting backwards from the baby's due date, but overall we are doing OK with where we are.

We have also begun looking for new places to live. In KCK. Which we also can't force. So far, the perfect home is eluding us. I daydream every now and then of what it will be like. What a perfect fit for us it will be. I feel like I would really like to have a light aqua colored room. Where I sit and read in perfect peace with all this beautiful light coming in the windows. Perhaps my expectations are a little high:)

We found out this week that we are having a girl. So Ruby will have a sister, and I am slightly jealous. I would not trade my brothers, and the fun and joy they gave to my growing up.... But people keep saying what a fun thing having two girls is, and I am believing them.

I apologize for my previous food poisoning stories. A lot to read, I know. But I am also thankful for the memories being written down. And I am wishing I was writing more often in order to help remember all of these little things - like how Ruby pronounces "balloon" with an Italian accent, more like "bay-loon". Like how she will sit in her little doll's stroller sometimes because it is just the right height for her. Like how I tell Matt on an every-other-day basis that I miss Downton Abbey. Like how this pregnancy has been so different, and I have these weird skin rashes that my doctor reassures me are perfectly normal, how I crave intense amounts of sugar, how fast my belly button popped out. How we are going through names again, and Matt has vetoed Pearl, Mabel, and Betty (it's OK - I work in a nursing home, those are names I hear on a regular basis, it's just part of being around older people). It's also OK because I vetoed his suggestion of Ruby 2. (He was not serious.) How we wonder if we should rent our house instead of trying to sell it. How I wonder if I should tell you that is what we are wondering. How I set my Shatto chocolate ice cream out to soften 45 minutes ago so I better go eat it, or I will have to put it back in the freezer for awhile and start all over. Don't worry, I won't forget to break up some Reese's cups into it as well. I am definitely of the firm opinion that ice cream is a vehicle for other yumminess, not the main event itself.

Mallard Island Yacht Club

We got to travel this past weekend to New Jersey for my brother's wedding.... no shenanigans like our Denver trip, probably because we flew Southwest this time.  Even if there had been shenanigans, it was well worth the effort to get there to be part of this fun weekend.  My brother and his beautiful wife did a great job planning the weekend.  The whole deal went down here, at the Mallard Island Yacht Club...

It was probably the most well-planned wedding I have ever been to - and great weather.  Since Ruby was a flower girl, we spent part of the day hanging out with the other girls who were getting ready in the bridal suite, which took up the entire top floor of the building.  Here's one of the amazing views from the window (of where the ceremony took place), as well as one of the amazing views of inside the suite....    

Ruby did a great job - from travel to meeting new relatives and friends to her flower girl duties.  She did get a little overwhelmed halfway up the aisle, but no major tears:)

Matt was a groomsman, and the two of them made a pretty cute pair.

We are so happy for Mike, and so glad to welcome Kina to our family!

The trip had some other highlights, including Ruby's first time at the beach.  Pretty awesome to watch your little one playing in the (real) sand for the first time.

My brother and Kina were very generous to include their wedding party in the stay at the yacht club the night of the wedding - the whole second floor was set up with 10 guest rooms where Matt and I were fortunate to stay while my gracious in-laws took care of Ruby that night (we figured she would need an early night after her flower girl duties).  I made the unfortunate decision right before the ceremony began to have a last-minute snack just to make sure I didn't pass out during the ceremony from pregnancy hunger.... unfortunate in my choice of a sandwich off the tray that had been sitting out for maybe 5 hours?  Mike, if you are reading this, I completely take the blame - I mean, it had mayonnaise, everything.  I should have known better.  So around 1:30 am, it all backfired.  And in the amazing guest room, on our fun night to ourselves, on the marble floor of the bathroom bigger than my kitchen in Fairway, I sat and vomited up all the delicious dinner, and wedding cake and everything.  And I have two reflections from this incident.
1.  I can never give my husband a hard time again for the unplanned food poisonings he has experienced on previous trips we have taken - our honeymoon in Belize when he ate cod at some local hole in the wall, and our trip to Brazil on the night of our first anniversary.
2.  All that reading of  Ann Voskamp's blog must be rubbing off on me - the night after this experience, we had traveled back to North Jersey in order to be close to the airport for our early flight back to Kansas the next day (after Denver, we will hopefully never again make the mistake of cutting it close getting to the plane on time).  I chose a hotel that I thought would be conveniently located right near Newark airport. And it was.  It was also in the flight path so not even the A/C on full blast and the white noise app on our phones up high could block the sound of the jets landing, it smelled strongly of curry, and I made sure that all bolts were on the door and a big heavy suitcase was parked in front of it as well....  it stood in strong contrast to our setting the evening before, let's say.  But I was able to say to Matt and my mother-in-law, that I was thankful that if I had to be sitting on a bathroom floor puking my guts out, that it had happened at the nice, clean, spa-like yacht club versus the Newark Howard Johnson.  So I feel like some of the focus on gratitude is paying off.  Thanks for letting me share some memories.  

Rita Springer

I have thought about posting, started a post, stopped, and here I am - my monthly post:) is overdue (I don't intend for it to be monthly, just how it's going right now).

Ruby is running a fever. And as I am starting to learn - I can't think of much else today. She is sleeping again right now, so I am blogging in order to feel some semblance of attachment to the world. To take my mind off all the "what ifs." To try to refocus a little I guess.

I have been reading this little devotional this spring called, "Jesus Calling." Sarah Young wrote today that we are to trust God in all our circumstances. Maybe a broken record in my life, but I fight this call daily. I was thinking about what I am waiting on right now - I am waiting for my daughter's fever to break. I am waiting for someone to want to come look at our house and buy it. (It has been on the market a week at this time). I am waiting for God to help me become less self-centered. And I was reminded of this verse from somewhere in the Bible that I can't remember and am being too lazy to look up, where it says that we are to "trust Him at ALL TIMES" (emphasis mine).

A woman I admire greatly went through an unbelievable week last week. She is on my heart often these days. She wrote something awhile back that challenged me, when she said that she likes to connect the statements in her life with "and" instead of "but." Her way of indicating trust sort of. Like when I could say that "It's my day off, but it's raining outside." Instead I could say "It is my day off, and it's raining outside."

I am so thankful for the words of others today. In a little devotional. In a friend's blog. In a monthly newsletter I read. In this song that I have been thinking about that I tried to include in my post when I started writing it before I stopped. We sing it in church from time to time - have you heard it? I am loving it these days.... and it is worth mentioning that I am loving soy sauce as well, in my no longer nauseous state.

Rita Springer - perfect on a rainy day.