she felt light and happy
as if she's been freed
after ten thousand years in a cave
her once dull eyes were a sparkling green
as if emeralds had given their shine and beauty to her
her exquisite face no longer pale
radiant instead of stale
that feeling bubbling up in her
like runnning barefoot through meadows
picking up flowers that smell so sweet
it was such a joy to love
she had finally come clean
and was loved by... him.


today's poem!
haha FINALLY ITS HAPPY.
ooh i've got a pretty flower wit me here.
cut it from the garden. shall bring it for the nonuts to see!!
is pink!
[i can just hear fran yumama and nyfer squealing in delight]
haha! okayy lah. gonna take a nap. even though its so late. damn tired.

she cant take it anymore
the pointings the whispers
it hurts too much
and no matter how tight her eyes are shut
and no matter how hard she clamps down her ears
she can see the pictures in her head
she can hear the sniggers and mutterings
and it goes on forever
resounding like a trigger bell
its like this burning sensation
like she's trapped in hot hell
where is god's salvation
she's screaming
but nobody's hearing.

its not sad!! hahah its just depressing. (:
yeaps. anw!! talking to my dear cousin suyee.
she's such a pusher.
ahah! but we're both lazy idiots.
or lazy smarties! haha. so we're making a pact to be more hardworking.
haha! yay. (:

hmm lovelorn you're funny. but stop playing ah!
it isnt going to be funny in a few days time.
and there's no way you can see me playing wit my dogs.
i play wit them in the backyard. so literally impossible to see from the road.
jinxd: haha! yes i know i love it tooo.
yujia:haha! i'm trying to write happy ones! i'm TRYING.


she sat and stared at the moon
thinking how much time had passed so soon
she never used to feel this way
like her feet always sway
how did she give herself up so completely
to someone who could not treasure her heart
he thought he was everything
and to her he was
but in his blinded eyes
she was but a mere distraction
a replacement
to his wandering eyes
that sought greater attractions.



my daddy just came back from shopping. haha!
i asked him to help me buy sportsbras.
haha! must have been embarrassing. (:

okay i've decided to try and write a poem every time i come online.
hahah! i'm currently undergoing this creativity phase.
lysia's read my nicest so far.
but i wont post it. too personal.
heh. but yeahh! comments! i'm going to try to sell it to hallmark.
heheh. (: ooh and i watched the mircosoft video.
its weird. and mr tan you bluff us!
its so much river valley lah!
tsk.

she stands on the ledge
and spreads out her arms
she has offered herself to the world
her time her love her care
her faith her tenderness her everything
yet with their eyes they do not see
the pain and lost
that has come to be
her spirit and soul is broken
she gave it to all as a token
yet when they recieved it they trampled it
like tulips under stampede
her feet can carry her no more
she is spent right down to her core
closing her eyes and breathing in deep
she tries to fly
but goes...
into a deep eternal sleep

her heart, it aches
when the dawn breaks
it follows suit
she's feeling used
like getting beaten till she's bruised
can she not run away
escaping into paradise
she's intoxicated
but its complicated
she fell in love
with someone she could never have
because he wants someone
she can never be
and she cannot will not
lie to herself
she doesn't want to see a stranger in the mirror
looking back at a girl she no longer believes in
staring at a forgotten dead.
till she loses her reason for her own existence.

the tree on stateland crshed onto the sala.
oops. and my smart angel baby!!
hahah she heard it before it -CRACKED!
and ran into the house.
and my mother follwed her in trying to get her out.
and then it fell plop.
waah see MY dog so smart. save my mother ahh!!
hahaha. yeah. anw. this is the first time i didnt fall asleep during bio!
everyone applaud me.
cos i sat in front wit chiang.
during ss too. we were giggling for a while cos of something i noticed about him.
oh mr tan! we're voting for you for mr charming!
ahahaha! and we're voting for lbk for tcher wit sense of humour.
aka teacher who's lame. haha!
yeah... then physics. dozing off.
chinese chinese. boring. got bak chinese test!
okay nvm. horrible. i had so many mistakes!
i could have gotten 2 grades up.
dammit.
ohh and then amath amath. didnt undestand no shit.
she was going too damn fast.
ahaha. then chem. aiyah same same. sooku chia.
then go home!!
haha so yeah pretty short day babes. (:

i feel like crying again!
i always feel like crying.
if not for the fact that i'm talking to chiang i'd just break down and bawl.
she makes me happy.
thankgoodness.
i just realised that i didnt really focus on my studies.
i was too... ---crazy.
it was crazy.
hah. but yeah. i shall not be that anymore.
i shall be neutral! okay fine try to be neutral!
hope to be neutral.
if it helps my studies anyway.
jie. if you read this dont tell mummy about me being last in class okay.
she'll slaughter me and you'll have me for dinner tmr in lieu of chicken curry.


oh and this is why chiang makes me happy.

Damn tired...someone save me. says:
but u very pro leh
Damn tired...someone save me. says:
u cry no sound

not a bad day.
at least until emath remedial.
so saddening lah! i just got last in class for common tests what.
eeps. cried! i couldnt help it. i seem to be crying an awful lot these days.
first that awful day. then this awful day. and in public too!
must be the fucking stress.
okay i better learn to curb out all the bad words since bien bien reads our blogs.
who says guys cant be bitchy!
haha! stephenloh is a PERFECT example!
oh anw. i've gotten over my grief!
to hell wit tests.
@$#%&.
thats all i have to say.
oh and this too.

do you not see how much your exchanged glances are hurting her?
do you not know she values your trust above all else?
do you not care that she is cracking under the pressure.
will you not make her feel better?
or will you add further to her burden knowing that she's spent.
she will stumble and fall.
but not unless you reach out and catch her.
she's flying away.
light and heavy at the same time
her heart ache is painful to see.
but all i can do is stand there and pat her back.
will you not give her the words she needs to hear.

okay. my computer is super lagging now.
installing the sims deluxe edition now.
haha my sweet sweet korkor!
buy for me one.
haha! even though i dont like sims all that much.
but still.
anyhoos. common tests over!
hahaha yays!!
i'm just happy lah.
totallyy. even though alot of the papers were screwed.
like amath and emath. bio was perfect. (:
geog... not enough time.
physics... hiyah no hope lah.
but i'm still happy!!
whoooo!
hope i can go out tmr.
gonna ask mom later.
and dimsum dollies rock lah.
ahahaha! so nice can!
and i laughed until my stomach hurt.
hahah happy!

ahhh. okay i know i should be studying.
but i need a break dammit!
chem sucked. lit was alright.
haha me fran and chiang were trying to peek at the questions as garytan swaggered along.
haha!
damn funny scene i tell ya.
chinese was fine. missed out a few of the tian han zi.
and the compre was... nvm.
today! english.
summary 156 words!
ss. not enough time to finish. started my last question in the last 5 minutes!
okay nvm. really scared for bio.
wahlao so much lorh please.
physics and geog too. dumb anna cheng.
haha! okayy. tonight's the dimsum dollies.
gonna go watch. last performance.
super thrilled.
heh. (: okayy! better go study now. damn bio.

eh to the gary tan!
if you really are you. i'd advise you to stop reading!
you're invading my privacy! sue you ahh!
hahah. and you dont wanna know all the things we say about you.
yes mr bien bien. the bien boon cousins!
hahahahah! okay sorry i'm hyper.
anyhoo! no yumama juicy fruits are NOT BETTER.
and lysia candyman is not better either.
and francine you better tell me who is yknowho!
hahah i'm not saying this out loud just in case someone who knows WaShing machine reads this.
heh.
ooh. and daddy daddy PLEASE PLEASE GET ME THE IPOD MINI!
haha yes i'm desperate. after reading that damn article i want it more!
frowls.

okay.
lunch wit the nonothings rocked basically.
had my rosti and calamari!! and stole some soup from yumama.
ahaha so yummy.
then we split. and me zee max and blondie walked to wisma to wait for ness.
who took FOREVER to get her hair done. =yeah then cin came!
that chiobu is on a diet. silly her.
so skinny diet what!
then we were talking about school and stuff.
nice to talk to her. i missed her lots.
then eli came! blew in my ear.
scared the shit outta me.
oh they gave me gorgeous presents! THANKEW!
dumbasses sarah and xuan told each other to meet at 3 but didnt tell me.
so there i was waiting like an idiot.
finally walked to cine.
no tix for the village and no ella enchanted.
had baked rice at the cafe.
was feeling uber frustrated.
have never felt that way in all my 15 years.
did an embarrassing thing!
i can totally relate to francine.
=\ sadness really.
ness finally came.
walked to lido and bought the village
waaaaahhhhhhhh.
scared the shit outta me again.
kept holding ness's and cin's hands! and trying to cover my ears at the same time.
but i think the story line is kinda good.
yknow. trying to protect their kids' innocence.
poor noah though. got killed by his bestfriend!
saddening. ahh anw. had a good dinner! saw aunt may chioubu cousin wenyee and bf!
hahaha nope i dont think he's as cute as teddy soup.
(:

oh and me and soph and fran took out pictures wit ourselves!
hahahahah! wit the poster in the miniforum/foyer.
hahahah! damn funny man.

haha my birthday rocked!!
(: finally. ahh!
thank you fran for wishing me first at 120039 this morning!
thankyou zee for you precious necklace and pretty earrings!
thankyoufran again! for the green stuff! even though you hate it!
thank you lysia and yumama! i wont blame you for your horrid wrapping!
thank you nae tai! haha although i dont need bigger boobs.
thank you alicia for the gorgeous roxy visor!
thank you trina mandy chiang bella candice sam makmur son!
especially nae bella candice zee ratri! for making my remedial not so bad.
esp candice wit her submarine jokes!
and okay fine. thanks lbk. for the pretty magnet.
oh and thanks ness cin and rah! for the sweet messages.
i love you!

p.s
MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 3 DAYS DONT FORGET. (:

my ugly face is in the foyer!
okay so maybe you cant see my ugly face but you know its the ugly me!
okay not the foyer but the mini forum.
my jaw literally dropped when i saw it mann.
frowls. -a cross between a growl and a frown.
but anw! my nametag is showing damn obviously.
so i cant deny and say it isnt me!
well at least its side view.
it looks real nice, ad though we're studying....
BUT. it eeees all a lie!
hahah we were looking at pictures of boon and mslau.
so yeah. aiyah i wish i had a poster though.
we'd put it in our class.
haha! since its all the 3C2 people.
so yeahhh.

okayy. so if anyof you read elizabeths blog,
you'd know that she called me a wrinkly slob!!
how nice. haha. anw! fran's saidin her blog that she was on tv yest. ooooh.
hahah! i hope they repeat. although i'm not really proud about the microsoft thing.
so yeahh.