okayyyy. i've got a gb. like finally.
cos bloody tagboard. die on me lah!
tskk. anw. i cant get it into the right position so i give up now.
its in the middle of thepage and its cut off a bit. but. sign it!

aiyaah. its raining nowww.
yet again has the monthly come.
oh pooh.
growls. no wonder im in such a fine mood.
as fine as the gloomy cold outside.

i hate the fact that my mother is sucha bitch.
can she for ONE SINGLE SECOND.
stop insulting me?! can she?!
i mean. okay lah i know im not as slim as my sister.
but can she please stop calling me fat?
and i know i like to actually HAVE A PROPER SOCIAL LIFE.
and i like to party and go out and come online and talk on the phone.
has she not heard of 'relaxation'?
im not my sister or my brothers.
just cos my sis dont have a DECENT social life.
dont mean that i cant have one.
just becos my brothers only started having fun at 16 dont mean i have to wait till then.
i'll prolly shrivel up and die.
and she always likes to poke me in the head and ask me why im so stupid.
too bad she didnt give birth to a genius im so sorry.
im the best out of all her bloody children she'd best not forget that.
and she always forgets that i HAVE HER FUCKING BLOOD IN MY VEINS.
so that means if i talk too much. its her genes.
and if i like to have fun. its her genes.
and if im fat. its her genes.
if im dumb. its her genes.
if im a stupid talk too much girl.
it her bloody genes again.
shes always ruining my good mood.
when i come home and play wit my dogs.
she scolds me and asks me to go do my homework.
when i go do my hoomework.
she scolds me for 'lacking in your responsibility as a dog owner'
cant she make up her stupid mind?!
i mean seriously.
shes never happy.
why do i even bother trying to remain friendly with her when she calls me all those stupid names.
and the best part is.

she dont know how much it hurts.

okayy.
im feeling very. uhm. pissed.
at my parents. i wanna do this cannot.
i wanna do that cannot.
i feel like baking cookies and she came to ruin my mood.
so yeah.
thanks alot.

im moodswinging now.
damn the bloody pms.
im coming soon i think.
i can feel it in my bones.
damn i feel lousy.
okay. i need to pon sch again. shit.
but cant.
so wdvrr.

okayy. common tests are over!!!!
YES BABY YES!
hahaha. ok. tt sounded horny.
and uhm well.
today was freaking tough.
lit was okayy. but physics was. like. urk.
and then lessons.
couldnt concentrate at all.
i tell you our school's saddistic mann
make us have lessons after common test.
siao. and i foresee tt im gonna fall sick tmr!
so therefore am not going to schoool.
muahahahaha.
okay. im bored.
im reallly bored.
aiyah
shall go entertain myself.

see?! i even spelt concentrate wrongly.
sheesh. must be the heat.

okay i know i shouldnt be online right now.
but wtf.
anww. i cant really study at the moment.
i've finished with bio. amath is okaaaaay.
ss is uhm. haha. unstarted?! so yeah.
okay fine.
but im sweltering hot.
and i cant consentrate with the heat.
so im gonna jump into the pool right after this.
haha.yes. i shall start studying at 8pm. till 10.
and then sleep land.
planning is good for your health.

yeah. today gam loooked like she din sleep at all.
but she looked like shit though. tts for sure.
bleagh. how disgusting lorh. and she was being all eeee.
whats new! shes sucha beech. and a leech. and a witch.
so there. hate her.
aiyah. better go study now. havent started for chem.
so gonna faint! sniff.

as always. whenever i chat wit my bro online.
i miss him like crazyyy.

'hullo brother'
'hullo stupid girl'

hurhur.
then i told him tt im sick again.
and he was like.

'you always sick one lah dodo. bodo'
hah. hes niice. hope he comes back for the summer!
he said he may intern. crazy i say.
studied chinese the whole afternoon.
gonna be damn tired later cos i din nap.
hahah. okay. have to go study again.
amath or chem i guess.
and i hate GAM.
bloody hell. i could call her a thousand damning words.
hope she burns in purgatory. hahaha!

i realise i dont feel that bad anymore.
at least not when im in their company.
cos yujia cracks me up with her aquahness.
and chormei is so damn stupidly funny.
and renee laugh funny and makes me laugh.
and candice is just hahaha. all the way.
so kinda like combining every one tgt
it just funny. and im passing up my hw.
and doing them. so yeah. although i think im not quick enough
or fast enough yet.
not ready for common tests yet.
so yeah.

and no act i dont feel all that better.
i have so much things to say.
but i dunno where to start and how to say it.
and i feel like theres no one for me.
no one to trust to talk to. it all seems weird and strained.
and it feels like in the end i get left behind.
cos no one bothers enough. or notices when im depressed.
im FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING TO SMILE.
cos whenevev i dont they ask me in sch if im sick.
as if i HAVE to put on a smile for their sakes.
it sounds like im wallowing in the depths of self pity.
maybe i am. there arent enough pple who care.
who actually really really care.
and like i keep saying to nings.
i feel tired. emotionally spent.
physically spent. my body is SCREAMING FOR SLEEP.
which i better go do now.

okay fine. so half my hw is undone.
including almost everything.
im starting to fall behind.
AND I DONT HAVE TIME TO DO TT.
so yeah. basically im starting to panic so wdvr.
and im on the brink of hysteria.
i cant keep up with the pace!
i could barely handle seven subs last year two of which were minor.
and now im up to my eyeballs in everything.
in amath emath which i cant even pass.
in the three sciences where i get bored and doze off eventually.
in the stewpid lit. i hate it! i loathe the ohsoirritating accent.
at least ss/geog is fun. but whats tt gotta do with anything!
its not supposed to be fun! i DONT HAVE TIME FOR FUN.
not like i ever had anw.
maybe im just getting paranoid. im barely brushing through my chinese.
which i dont dread anymore nor do i look forward to it.
i cant seem to concentrate when i do my homework.
either becos im too FUCKING TIRED OR TOO FUCKING STRESSED.
maybe its both.
and the weekend is over and i havent even OPENED MY BOOKS.
despite the fact tt i brought all three sciences home so i could get a headstart.
for the common tests which start THIS FRIDAY.
its chem this friday.
horrible chem which. i have a lousy teacher. wh drags on and on.
why cant they find us a science tcer who talks like penny ang or something!
someone who is interesting! for gods sake. or someone who dont have a nasal prob.
unlike mrschia. whom i dislike immensely btw.
so yeah. i needed to rant all tt out.
i feel much better now.

okayy. yest.
vdayy. after tuition walked to wisma to meet ness and nings.
ninger baby:grow some more!
i had to bend down to hug her.
so pleased to see ness again.
and then ning went for dinner so me and ness.
walked arnd to borders.
met my cousin.
walked to cine so farking crowded.
then ness bought her tickets for along came polly.
on the way down saw sheralyn.
shes pretty now. and tall too. hurhur.
im still taller though. and shes as red as always.
then saw nesshuang and jiawen.
and at heeren we saw alot of other cres pple.
so yeah. and then went back to cine to see rah.
too short baby too short. -yknow what im talking about.
hahaha. (: okay i was prolly being annoying.
and anw. left ness. and i shouted 'i love you!'
and my cousin jabbed me in the ribs.
in public. hurhur. maybe it looked funny. or sounded funny.
got home really late. 12.30? i dunno.
aiyahh. gtg. im bringing cookies tmr! (: wait for em.

KAVINA HOW COULD YOU!
-stomps foot.

and seriously, next time, when you go out to buy, say, a pair of jeans, do you have to come up with x-3y=9 or some shite like that? NO, dudeeee. you do not have to 'let the price be x' and all, just pay what the cashier ask you to and you will be contented with life.

AND who cares about how light reflects into your eye? just stand in front of the mirror, make sure you are not blind and tadaa! you see your reflection! and you will be so happy people think you discovered gravity.

ANDD do i really have to know what is sulphur dioxide or hydrochloric acid? NO! if you drink water, you wont die! if you drink something you cant understand at least half of what the label says, you might die. this is the simple logic that if everyone abides by, no one will die so fast and no one has to learn chemistry. unless, you happen to be infected by sars or birdflu, yea?

so true tang. so damn true.
anw. im bored. so yeah. hurhur.

i measured!
my cut is reaaaal deep.
0.5cm. ouch baby ouch.

hello.
i just realised today tt this year is our tenth anniversary.
me and fran i mean. as friends.
cool eh? a decade leh baby! (: pleased too.
anw. today in chem lab.
must be the unlucky karma tt mrschia passes out.
hurhur. i took the cork stopper thingy for the experiment.
then saw the cork was loose. so tried to push it in the tighten it.
then piang! the whole thing shattered in my hands can?
like shit. then i saw the blood. then mrschia just rushed over and put it under running water.
pain like shit i nearly screamed.
hurhur. then she stopped. and i looked and saw all the blood.
it was like GUSHING OUT CAN?!
then cried cos i saw it and then it started to hurt. and then more painful.
cos maybe she was pressing the wrong spot.
then everyone came.
then i was crying into francine.
and saratri started patting my back.
hurhur. soo nice. then yujia gave me tissue to dry my face.
and candice was freaking out.
hahahaha! then lysia opened the first aid box and took out the cream.
it stung like a bee. hurhur! then i looked and the blood was still flowing.
and the cream was yellowish.
so looked like pus and blood. damn sick can! so i started wailing again.
then yujia came running with the tissue again. hahaha!
im such a baby i know. then i kept saying cant be doctor cos so unbrave.
then renee just laughed and laughed.
funny meh?
haha. so now i have a bandage on my finger tt so many pple signed.
haha. lysia yujia max zhihui amira khalilah candice chormei fran hannah jennifer.
saratri leona reneee. gunawan mel and hanjin from chinese class. oh and andrea too.
i cant read any of the other signings.
hurhur. ohwells. have to go study for ss test.
bleaghs.

LOVE ME TENDER.

haha. (: im nearly finished with my vday gifts.
its for all the sweeties and niceies.
so yeah. hurhur.
share a thought was okayy.
kinda funny if i do say so myself.
thankew thankew!
i dunno if we were supposed to bow.
so i just interrupted mr siow. by holding dunno whos hand.
and going out and asking the rest to come out.
hurhur! (: so we just bowed lorh.
the stewpid dry ice wasnt foggy enough.
hahaha. so much for heaven.

hmmm.
lessons today. okayy lah.
went spotlight after sch with yujia lysia and hweeyi.
hurhur. saw so many pretty things.
then went downstairs after yujia and hweeyi left for track.
took neoprints.
ended up blur!
felt damn the cheated.
so went to look for the scarrry looking guy.
took another one.
then we lost two or maybe three. and they were good ones!
sniff.
me and sher decided then it had to be retribution.
hurhur.
ohwells. gtg nowww. have to do my vday gifts.

i kinda like it.
this crazy little thing called love.
hurhur. (: ohwells. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! sisterrrr.
soo sleepy.
my ear bled! -wails.
pain like crap. im super bored lah.
no one interesting to talk to now. sighh.
okay wdvr.

i mees my 2nd bro.
sniff. hes the nicest to me one.
kinda anw. heh. (: better than the useless big one.
who doesnt even know which month i was born.
hurhur. wdvrrr.
had birdsnest with almond milk.
yum. (: my fave.

okay fine wdvr.
my whole ear is swollen.
pain like shit.
and today kinda sucked in the beginning.
maths test so farking hard.
i'll be happy if i can get 2 marks.
seriously. i didnt complete a single question!
*%^@#
and then mugged like shit in the last few minutes at the red table for physics.
then. it was easyy. kinda. but my drawing got a lil problem.
then emath. made my day.
easy like nobody's business.
quite anw. but got careless. the first ques too.
hurhur. then. chem.
i purposely yawned. hinthint!
got back chem test. woahh. 18/25.
heh. expected to fail. didnt really study mahh.
then. el lecture. bloody waste of time.
then came home wit alee trace kav glad ly tang and nut.
had fun playing wit my cuuute cuuuute dogs.
then cycling along the road. hurhur!
kavina babyy. took me for a ride. -winks.
then started to rain.
went swimming.
pushed ly into the pool! (:
hahaha! i shall not reveal anymore.
malu only.
(:

my second ear hole swollen!
-wailssss.

okayy. we missed ms ang!
farnee farnee.
we did though. me and rachel chiang.
anw. dad sent me to sch for the first time in ages.
in two years act. took the sports with the top down.
hahaha. he was all ' fresh air fresh air!'
then at 6.44am we left. then on the main road he was like.
'woah. so many pple already ah?'
he prolly thought it was gonna be deserted.
could have been his first time up so early and out on the roads in years.
hahaha. then today. chem deadboring as usual.
then. recess. ate like a pig. 2dollahs.
then had burgerking. and he had this stewpid joke again.
but farnee lah. in a stupid kinda way.
chinese. then physics. -rolls eyes.
haha. her fave action.
then we bought food after her lesson. wanted to eat in class.
she spent the whole period in there! wasnt hers though.
then ss. he was late again!! hahaha.
whats newww.

did i mention tt i pigged out today. felt really hungry.
recess. fried beehoon with tofu and vege.
radish soup and lemon barley.
lunch. SEVEN NUGGETS. and one pau and two packets of guava.
gawd. and i still felt hungry. tts the best part. hurhur.

im soooo bored.
and hungry.
i kept eating and eating the whole day.
hunger pangs dude.

okayy! penny ang is siiick.
hurhur. dorothy didnt come yay!
and garytan was late again.
hahahaha! we wrote on the board:
'when will he be early?!'
haha. then at the bottom saratri went to write
'never.'
hahahaha!
we wanted him to read it.
but then fran rubbed it off.
hmmph! party pooper dearr.
ohwells. tired like crap.
so going to sleep. or something.
sighh.
oh and miss ang postponed the maths test.
so now. fri: amath emath and physics.
diiiieeeeeeee!

ohwells. cross country.
slack only. heh.
then today. aiyah boring lah.
have to study for chinese test!!
argh!!! okay. panic time.
i shall. i will.

okay fine so i didnt die.
but i did get something better.


I GOT ANOTHER PUPPY!!!
hahaha. no kidding. a super cute one too!
its a mix.
a really funny mix.
we adopted it!
its....

rotteweiler mix with labrador.
aint that the weirdest?
but its the cutest too dammit! (:
hehehe. its so adorable!!!
cant stop hugging it.
but i'd better. if not my angel's gonna be jealousss! (:

im dying from dammmn pain cramps.
goodbye world!

i need to studyy!
damn. tests on wed. thurs and fri.
i wanna cry le.
and. i need to sleep too.
slept at three.
then woke up so many damn times last night.
hurhur. then i forgot this morning had chi tuition.
then my maid woke me up when she came.
i was all huh?!
sooo sleepy.
and im moodswinging did i mention that?
yet again.
sigggh.

okayy.
im downstairs using the comp cos my stewpid siser is using mine.
hurhur. anw. im in love with comeclean!
haha. i keep replaying it.
now daddys pissed cos he thinks its a stewpid song. wdvr lah.


let the rain fall down.
and wake my dreams
let it wash away my sanity.
cos i wanna feel the thunder i wanna scream.
let the rain come down.
im coming clean.

i like the beginning part best though.
when she isnt singing. hurhur. funnay.

oh hell.
its that stewpid time of the month.
slept my morning away.
moodswinging the whole afternoon.
ohwells. im soo bored and i've been awake only a hour and a half.
growls.


cos you are my everything.
but im your nothing.


hurhur.